Long, possibly boring, talk

0:03 it is really hard when you almost had

0:03 it is really hard when you almost had everything you wanted out of life you

0:05 everything you wanted out of life you

0:05 everything you wanted out of life you know you were almost there you thought

0:06 know you were almost there you thought

0:06 know you were almost there you thought everything was one clear picture it is

0:08 everything was one clear picture it is

0:08 everything was one clear picture it is really hard to have that all ripped

0:10 really hard to have that all ripped

0:10 really hard to have that all ripped apart and taken away from you and not to

0:13 apart and taken away from you and not to

0:13 apart and taken away from you and not to be bitter and cynical and look at the

0:15 be bitter and cynical and look at the

0:15 be bitter and cynical and look at the world and go nothing works out the way I

0:17 world and go nothing works out the way I

0:17 world and go nothing works out the way I want it and and all this stuff was

0:19 want it and and all this stuff was

0:19 want it and and all this stuff was ripped away from me and to let it

0:21 ripped away from me and to let it

0:21 ripped away from me and to let it seriously Crush you I'm here to tell you

0:23 seriously Crush you I'm here to tell you

0:23 seriously Crush you I'm here to tell you firsthand not only is it difficult to

0:26 firsthand not only is it difficult to

0:26 firsthand not only is it difficult to not let It Crush you when it first

0:28 not let It Crush you when it first

0:28 not let It Crush you when it first happens that's the hardest part I grant

0:30 happens that's the hardest part I grant

0:30 happens that's the hardest part I grant you that's the hardest part it's

0:31 you that's the hardest part it's

0:31 you that's the hardest part it's overwhelming you don't know what's going

0:32 overwhelming you don't know what's going

0:32 overwhelming you don't know what's going on your whole life is ripped apart and

0:34 on your whole life is ripped apart and

0:34 on your whole life is ripped apart and yeah a lot of you are going well I'm 15

0:36 yeah a lot of you are going well I'm 15

0:36 yeah a lot of you are going well I'm 15 I don't have to worry about this at all

0:38 I don't have to worry about this at all

0:38 I don't have to worry about this at all but some of you might have to worry

0:39 but some of you might have to worry

0:39 but some of you might have to worry about this hopefully not and some of you

0:41 about this hopefully not and some of you

0:41 about this hopefully not and some of you have been through this and are still

0:42 have been through this and are still

0:42 have been through this and are still struggling so that's why I'm sharing

0:44 struggling so that's why I'm sharing

0:44 struggling so that's why I'm sharing this part of my story it's not a Pity

0:46 this part of my story it's not a Pity

0:46 this part of my story it's not a Pity thing it's just because there's some

0:47 thing it's just because there's some

0:48 thing it's just because there's some people out there who need to hear this

0:49 people out there who need to hear this

0:49 people out there who need to hear this and need to hear other people share this

0:50 and need to hear other people share this

0:50 and need to hear other people share this kind of stuff it's super difficult not

0:53 kind of stuff it's super difficult not

0:53 kind of stuff it's super difficult not to be crushed under the weight of the

0:56 to be crushed under the weight of the

0:56 to be crushed under the weight of the Despair and the sadness and looking at

0:58 Despair and the sadness and looking at

0:58 Despair and the sadness and looking at someone who was the closest person to

1:00 someone who was the closest person to

1:00 someone who was the closest person to you and your life betrays you and

1:02 you and your life betrays you and

1:02 you and your life betrays you and totally rips your whole life apart the

1:04 totally rips your whole life apart the

1:04 totally rips your whole life apart the you know the one person you thought was

1:05 you know the one person you thought was

1:05 you know the one person you thought was supposed to support you and be there for

1:07 supposed to support you and be there for

1:07 supposed to support you and be there for you and be there with you through things

1:09 you and be there with you through things

1:09 you and be there with you through things and it turns out that they were you know

1:11 and it turns out that they were you know

1:11 and it turns out that they were you know lying or or whatever it is that's

1:13 lying or or whatever it is that's

1:13 lying or or whatever it is that's incredibly painful and it can screw you

1:15 incredibly painful and it can screw you

1:15 incredibly painful and it can screw you up bad it could screw up the way you

1:17 up bad it could screw up the way you

1:17 up bad it could screw up the way you look at the world obviously give you

1:19 look at the world obviously give you

1:19 look at the world obviously give you crazy trust issues and it just really

1:21 crazy trust issues and it just really

1:21 crazy trust issues and it just really messes with you and it was a super hard

1:24 messes with you and it was a super hard

1:24 messes with you and it was a super hard struggle when it first happened and it's

1:26 struggle when it first happened and it's

1:26 struggle when it first happened and it's still a hard struggle sometimes because

1:28 still a hard struggle sometimes because

1:28 still a hard struggle sometimes because things like today will come up

1:30 things like today will come up

1:30 things like today will come up where it's extremely extremely difficult

1:33 where it's extremely extremely difficult

1:33 where it's extremely extremely difficult and a lot of times the people around me

1:34 and a lot of times the people around me

1:34 and a lot of times the people around me don't understand they're like why just

1:36 don't understand they're like why just

1:36 don't understand they're like why just calm down you know it's fine whatever

1:38 calm down you know it's fine whatever

1:38 calm down you know it's fine whatever we'll work out a schedule or it'll be

1:40 we'll work out a schedule or it'll be

1:40 we'll work out a schedule or it'll be fine it's like it's not that it's it's

1:43 fine it's like it's not that it's it's

1:43 fine it's like it's not that it's it's it gets

1:44 it gets

1:44 it gets all dredged up again that somebody

1:47 all dredged up again that somebody

1:47 all dredged up again that somebody violated you in certain ways and took

1:50 violated you in certain ways and took

1:50 violated you in certain ways and took away that which was most precious to you

1:52 away that which was most precious to you

1:52 away that which was most precious to you and that you then have to go to that

1:53 and that you then have to go to that

1:53 and that you then have to go to that person and deal with that person to get

1:55 person and deal with that person to get

1:55 person and deal with that person to get time with the thing that's most precious

1:56 time with the thing that's most precious

1:56 time with the thing that's most precious to you and this stuff just sucks it

2:00 to you and this stuff just sucks it

2:00 to you and this stuff just sucks it really really really sucks but here's

2:04 really really really sucks but here's

2:04 really really really sucks but here's the

2:05 the

2:05 the thing here's the thing that I'm I'm just

2:09 thing here's the thing that I'm I'm just

2:09 thing here's the thing that I'm I'm just sitting here kind of before I go and

2:11 sitting here kind of before I go and

2:11 sitting here kind of before I go and pick them up I've been sort of thinking

2:13 pick them up I've been sort of thinking

2:13 pick them up I've been sort of thinking about where I'm at and how far I've come

2:16 about where I'm at and how far I've come

2:16 about where I'm at and how far I've come with the whole trying not to hate and

2:18 with the whole trying not to hate and

2:18 with the whole trying not to hate and trying not to be angry because this is

2:19 trying not to be angry because this is

2:19 trying not to be angry because this is infuriating it's an

2:21 infuriating it's an

2:21 infuriating it's an infuriating frustrating thing to have

2:24 infuriating frustrating thing to have

2:24 infuriating frustrating thing to have happen it is the most personal and the

2:26 happen it is the most personal and the

2:26 happen it is the most personal and the most painful thing in the world for

2:28 most painful thing in the world for

2:28 most painful thing in the world for someone to take your baby away kind of

2:30 someone to take your baby away kind of

2:30 someone to take your baby away kind of like that is the most hurtful painful

2:32 like that is the most hurtful painful

2:33 like that is the most hurtful painful thing that can happen right or even

2:35 thing that can happen right or even

2:35 thing that can happen right or even partially or whatever that's an

2:37 partially or whatever that's an

2:37 partially or whatever that's an exaggeration but you know what I'm

2:38 exaggeration but you know what I'm

2:38 exaggeration but you know what I'm saying that type of that genre of pain

2:41 saying that type of that genre of pain

2:41 saying that type of that genre of pain is

2:42 is

2:43 is painful what was I trying to say ah but

2:47 painful what was I trying to say ah but

2:47 painful what was I trying to say ah but but here's the

2:48 but here's the

2:48 but here's the thing I've been taking this look around

2:50 thing I've been taking this look around

2:50 thing I've been taking this look around at where I'm at and how far I've come

2:52 at where I'm at and how far I've come

2:53 at where I'm at and how far I've come and I realized that the whole quest for

2:55 and I realized that the whole quest for

2:55 and I realized that the whole quest for positivity thing really really really

2:57 positivity thing really really really

2:57 positivity thing really really really was essential that it really really

2:59 was essential that it really really

2:59 was essential that it really really really was important and beneficial and

3:00 really was important and beneficial and

3:00 really was important and beneficial and it really did work to get up off my butt

3:03 it really did work to get up off my butt

3:03 it really did work to get up off my butt and go I'm not going to let this make me

3:06 and go I'm not going to let this make me

3:06 and go I'm not going to let this make me hate people I'm not going to let this

3:09 hate people I'm not going to let this

3:09 hate people I'm not going to let this make me hate the world I'm not going to

3:11 make me hate the world I'm not going to

3:11 make me hate the world I'm not going to let this make me think that all people

3:13 let this make me think that all people

3:13 let this make me think that all people are bad that all people are out to hurt

3:15 are bad that all people are out to hurt

3:15 are bad that all people are out to hurt me that life is pain and everything is

3:16 me that life is pain and everything is

3:16 me that life is pain and everything is going to is going to fall apart listen

3:20 going to is going to fall apart listen

3:20 going to is going to fall apart listen life's not a game it's not all fun and

3:23 life's not a game it's not all fun and

3:23 life's not a game it's not all fun and anybody who makes it seem like it's

3:25 anybody who makes it seem like it's

3:25 anybody who makes it seem like it's always all fun is either lying or

3:27 always all fun is either lying or

3:27 always all fun is either lying or selling something right it's not always

3:30 selling something right it's not always

3:30 selling something right it's not always all fun now the goal is to make it as

3:33 all fun now the goal is to make it as

3:33 all fun now the goal is to make it as fun as possible right to have as much

3:34 fun as possible right to have as much

3:34 fun as possible right to have as much fun as you can during it but that

3:36 fun as you can during it but that

3:36 fun as you can during it but that doesn't mean that there aren't serious

3:38 doesn't mean that there aren't serious

3:38 doesn't mean that there aren't serious negative things happening I think the

3:40 negative things happening I think the

3:40 negative things happening I think the real key is not to say life is a game

3:42 real key is not to say life is a game

3:42 real key is not to say life is a game and it's fun and we'll just not care

3:43 and it's fun and we'll just not care

3:44 and it's fun and we'll just not care about anything because that's the other

3:45 about anything because that's the other

3:45 about anything because that's the other thing I could also be that way I could

3:47 thing I could also be that way I could

3:47 thing I could also be that way I could either be crushed under it like I'm

3:48 either be crushed under it like I'm

3:48 either be crushed under it like I'm miserable life is pain and then you die

3:51 miserable life is pain and then you die

3:51 miserable life is pain and then you die and it's over with or I could have also

3:53 and it's over with or I could have also

3:53 and it's over with or I could have also gone the other way and be like yeah life

3:54 gone the other way and be like yeah life

3:55 gone the other way and be like yeah life is all Disney and life is all sugar and

3:57 is all Disney and life is all sugar and

3:57 is all Disney and life is all sugar and I don't have to worry about anything and

3:59 I don't have to worry about anything and

3:59 I don't have to worry about anything and all responsibility and all goals that

4:01 all responsibility and all goals that

4:01 all responsibility and all goals that are serious could just go away and we're

4:02 are serious could just go away and we're

4:02 are serious could just go away and we're just going to party and we're going to

4:04 just going to party and we're going to

4:04 just going to party and we're going to we're going to drink and we're just not

4:05 we're going to drink and we're just not

4:05 we're going to drink and we're just not going to worry about anything those are

4:07 going to worry about anything those are

4:07 going to worry about anything those are two extremes that I don't want to have

4:09 two extremes that I don't want to have

4:09 two extremes that I don't want to have any part of I don't I neither want to be

4:11 any part of I don't I neither want to be

4:11 any part of I don't I neither want to be super super cynical nor do I want to

4:13 super super cynical nor do I want to

4:13 super super cynical nor do I want to like be intentionally super naive and

4:15 like be intentionally super naive and

4:15 like be intentionally super naive and stupid and like throw my life away you

4:18 stupid and like throw my life away you

4:18 stupid and like throw my life away you know what I mean you want to have some

4:19 know what I mean you want to have some

4:19 know what I mean you want to have some kind of balance so life isn't a party

4:21 kind of balance so life isn't a party

4:21 kind of balance so life isn't a party life isn't pain life is about struggle

4:24 life isn't pain life is about struggle

4:24 life isn't pain life is about struggle struggle for balance struggle for

4:27 struggle for balance struggle for

4:27 struggle for balance struggle for positivity struggle to do something good

4:29 positivity struggle to do something good

4:29 positivity struggle to do something good struggle to get what you want and the

4:32 struggle to get what you want and the

4:32 struggle to get what you want and the struggle not to be crushed when you

4:34 struggle not to be crushed when you

4:34 struggle not to be crushed when you don't get what you want right so just

4:36 don't get what you want right so just

4:36 don't get what you want right so just because there's something in your life

4:38 because there's something in your life

4:38 because there's something in your life that's not working out perfectly just

4:40 that's not working out perfectly just

4:40 that's not working out perfectly just because there might be something super

4:41 because there might be something super

4:41 because there might be something super super painful in your life and maybe for

4:42 super painful in your life and maybe for

4:42 super painful in your life and maybe for you it isn't a horrible nasty divorce

4:45 you it isn't a horrible nasty divorce

4:45 you it isn't a horrible nasty divorce where you know the custody thing is

4:46 where you know the custody thing is

4:46 where you know the custody thing is weird and you have to not you know you

4:48 weird and you have to not you know you

4:48 weird and you have to not you know you have to go pick up your kid on his

4:49 have to go pick up your kid on his

4:49 have to go pick up your kid on his birthday or something like that maybe

4:51 birthday or something like that maybe

4:51 birthday or something like that maybe for you it's different maybe for you

4:52 for you it's different maybe for you

4:52 for you it's different maybe for you it's you're not getting that job that

4:53 it's you're not getting that job that

4:53 it's you're not getting that job that you want maybe it is a career thing for

4:55 you want maybe it is a career thing for

4:55 you want maybe it is a career thing for you maybe it is for you that's really

4:56 you maybe it is for you that's really

4:56 you maybe it is for you that's really difficult for you to get up and go work

4:57 difficult for you to get up and go work

4:57 difficult for you to get up and go work at Home Depot at 5: in the morning or

4:59 at Home Depot at 5: in the morning or

4:59 at Home Depot at 5: in the morning or whatever ever it is maybe there's

5:00 whatever ever it is maybe there's

5:00 whatever ever it is maybe there's something you're still struggling with

5:01 something you're still struggling with

5:01 something you're still struggling with like I'm still struggling with something

5:03 like I'm still struggling with something

5:03 like I'm still struggling with something super super hard maybe there's something

5:05 super super hard maybe there's something

5:05 super super hard maybe there's something that keeps coming up and you can't

5:07 that keeps coming up and you can't

5:07 that keeps coming up and you can't control it that's the worst part about

5:09 control it that's the worst part about

5:09 control it that's the worst part about my situation for me is that there I

5:10 my situation for me is that there I

5:10 my situation for me is that there I can't control it that's what makes me

5:12 can't control it that's what makes me

5:12 can't control it that's what makes me angry I a therapist friend of mine once

5:15 angry I a therapist friend of mine once

5:15 angry I a therapist friend of mine once said to me that anger comes from two

5:19 said to me that anger comes from two

5:19 said to me that anger comes from two places it comes from fear or lack of

5:22 places it comes from fear or lack of

5:22 places it comes from fear or lack of control right feeling that you're out of

5:24 control right feeling that you're out of

5:24 control right feeling that you're out of control which is also fear it really

5:25 control which is also fear it really

5:25 control which is also fear it really comes from fear but just not being able

5:27 comes from fear but just not being able

5:27 comes from fear but just not being able to control someone takes control away

5:29 to control someone takes control away

5:29 to control someone takes control away from you you can't control a situation

5:31 from you you can't control a situation

5:31 from you you can't control a situation makes you frustrated and makes you angry

5:34 makes you frustrated and makes you angry

5:34 makes you frustrated and makes you angry but just like being controlling is bad

5:36 but just like being controlling is bad

5:36 but just like being controlling is bad and seeing people who freaking fly into

5:38 and seeing people who freaking fly into

5:38 and seeing people who freaking fly into a rage when they can't get what they

5:39 a rage when they can't get what they

5:39 a rage when they can't get what they want is bad it's just as bad to be angry

5:42 want is bad it's just as bad to be angry

5:42 want is bad it's just as bad to be angry about even if you're justified in being

5:43 about even if you're justified in being

5:43 about even if you're justified in being angry about something somebody does

5:45 angry about something somebody does

5:45 angry about something somebody does something horrible to you and took

5:46 something horrible to you and took

5:46 something horrible to you and took control away from you you're Justified

5:48 control away from you you're Justified

5:48 control away from you you're Justified being angry that is something to be

5:49 being angry that is something to be

5:50 being angry that is something to be angry about obviously in my situation or

5:52 angry about obviously in my situation or

5:52 angry about obviously in my situation or maybe in your situation you have a

5:53 maybe in your situation you have a

5:53 maybe in your situation you have a terrible boss or whatever it is but you

5:56 terrible boss or whatever it is but you

5:56 terrible boss or whatever it is but you can't let you can't let that be excused

5:58 can't let you can't let that be excused

5:58 can't let you can't let that be excused are you going to let that person person

5:59 are you going to let that person person

5:59 are you going to let that person person dominate you then you're going to become

6:01 dominate you then you're going to become

6:01 dominate you then you're going to become an angry negative horrible person are

6:03 an angry negative horrible person are

6:03 an angry negative horrible person are you going to become the same kind of

6:05 you going to become the same kind of

6:05 you going to become the same kind of monster that hurt you in the first place

6:08 monster that hurt you in the first place

6:08 monster that hurt you in the first place I don't think that is a solution right I

6:11 I don't think that is a solution right I

6:11 I don't think that is a solution right I don't think that's I hope anything that

6:12 don't think that's I hope anything that

6:12 don't think that's I hope anything that I'm saying is making sense that's not

6:14 I'm saying is making sense that's not

6:14 I'm saying is making sense that's not really a solution you can't just let It

6:16 really a solution you can't just let It

6:16 really a solution you can't just let It Crush you so as angry as I woke up being

6:18 Crush you so as angry as I woke up being

6:18 Crush you so as angry as I woke up being today or as frustrated as you might be

6:20 today or as frustrated as you might be

6:20 today or as frustrated as you might be with this thing in your life or as just

6:21 with this thing in your life or as just

6:22 with this thing in your life or as just Soul crushing as it might be and

6:23 Soul crushing as it might be and

6:23 Soul crushing as it might be and difficult as it might be I'm here to

6:25 difficult as it might be I'm here to

6:25 difficult as it might be I'm here to tell you that I think the struggle is

6:27 tell you that I think the struggle is

6:27 tell you that I think the struggle is worth it because as angry as I am

6:30 worth it because as angry as I am

6:30 worth it because as angry as I am part of me is super angry there's other

6:32 part of me is super angry there's other

6:32 part of me is super angry there's other parts that have really really worked out

6:34 parts that have really really worked out

6:34 parts that have really really worked out because I did not let go of the struggle

6:37 because I did not let go of the struggle

6:37 because I did not let go of the struggle to be as good as I can and do the best

6:39 to be as good as I can and do the best

6:39 to be as good as I can and do the best that I can and do the best I can to be

6:42 that I can and do the best I can to be

6:42 that I can and do the best I can to be positive and be as forgiving as I can

6:44 positive and be as forgiving as I can

6:44 positive and be as forgiving as I can and be cool right I just I just really

6:48 and be cool right I just I just really

6:48 and be cool right I just I just really don't believe in being negative I I just

6:53 don't believe in being negative I I just

6:53 don't believe in being negative I I just really feel like I said this a long time

6:55 really feel like I said this a long time

6:55 really feel like I said this a long time ago kindness is better than cruelty love

6:56 ago kindness is better than cruelty love

6:56 ago kindness is better than cruelty love is better than hate and wherever

6:58 is better than hate and wherever

6:58 is better than hate and wherever possible forgiveness is better than

7:00 possible forgiveness is better than

7:00 possible forgiveness is better than revenge and there's a lot of people who

7:02 revenge and there's a lot of people who

7:02 revenge and there's a lot of people who really don't feel that way there's a lot

7:03 really don't feel that way there's a lot

7:03 really don't feel that way there's a lot of people who really feel like it's okay

7:04 of people who really feel like it's okay

7:04 of people who really feel like it's okay to be cruel like oh you now have an

7:06 to be cruel like oh you now have an

7:06 to be cruel like oh you now have an excuse to be cruel you are now justified

7:08 excuse to be cruel you are now justified

7:08 excuse to be cruel you are now justified in being mean and nasty and sometimes

7:11 in being mean and nasty and sometimes

7:11 in being mean and nasty and sometimes when somebody does something terrible to

7:12 when somebody does something terrible to

7:12 when somebody does something terrible to you and you need to vent you need to say

7:14 you and you need to vent you need to say

7:14 you and you need to vent you need to say crazy things it is what it is but the

7:17 crazy things it is what it is but the

7:17 crazy things it is what it is but the goal is to be the best you you can be

7:20 goal is to be the best you you can be

7:20 goal is to be the best you you can be right the goal is to not let that turn

7:21 right the goal is to not let that turn

7:22 right the goal is to not let that turn you into a nasty person it's to be a

7:24 you into a nasty person it's to be a

7:24 you into a nasty person it's to be a good person so no matter how hard it is

7:28 good person so no matter how hard it is

7:28 good person so no matter how hard it is no matter how much sometimes I want to

7:30 no matter how much sometimes I want to

7:30 no matter how much sometimes I want to give up even I want to give up cuz as

7:31 give up even I want to give up cuz as

7:31 give up even I want to give up cuz as much as some people like oh so cool you

7:33 much as some people like oh so cool you

7:33 much as some people like oh so cool you got to go do this adventure and that

7:34 got to go do this adventure and that

7:34 got to go do this adventure and that adventure and you're going to get to go

7:35 adventure and you're going to get to go

7:35 adventure and you're going to get to go do this sometimes I just want to give up

7:37 do this sometimes I just want to give up

7:37 do this sometimes I just want to give up because I may be doing that and that may

7:40 because I may be doing that and that may

7:40 because I may be doing that and that may be something that's going really well

7:41 be something that's going really well

7:41 be something that's going really well but then there's other parts of my life

7:42 but then there's other parts of my life

7:42 but then there's other parts of my life where I'm like I'm going home alone I'm

7:44 where I'm like I'm going home alone I'm

7:44 where I'm like I'm going home alone I'm going to go home alone and lay in my

7:46 going to go home alone and lay in my

7:46 going to go home alone and lay in my room alone and have no one to talk to

7:48 room alone and have no one to talk to

7:48 room alone and have no one to talk to about this horrible painful thing that

7:49 about this horrible painful thing that

7:49 about this horrible painful thing that hurts me and um do you know what I'm

7:53 hurts me and um do you know what I'm

7:53 hurts me and um do you know what I'm saying you know what I'm saying that's

7:54 saying you know what I'm saying that's

7:54 saying you know what I'm saying that's not an invitation for people like you're

7:55 not an invitation for people like you're

7:55 not an invitation for people like you're not alone we're with you I get that

7:56 not alone we're with you I get that

7:56 not alone we're with you I get that don't don't get me wrong I'm not looking

7:58 don't don't get me wrong I'm not looking

7:58 don't don't get me wrong I'm not looking I'm not I'm not taking that for granted

8:01 I'm not I'm not taking that for granted

8:01 I'm not I'm not taking that for granted but you know what I'm saying that there

8:02 but you know what I'm saying that there

8:02 but you know what I'm saying that there are plenty of things that I even I am

8:04 are plenty of things that I even I am

8:05 are plenty of things that I even I am like life isn't going the way I want I

8:07 like life isn't going the way I want I

8:07 like life isn't going the way I want I should just give up but the whole point

8:09 should just give up but the whole point

8:09 should just give up but the whole point is you can't do that no matter how

8:11 is you can't do that no matter how

8:11 is you can't do that no matter how painful the thing is no matter how bad

8:14 painful the thing is no matter how bad

8:14 painful the thing is no matter how bad the thing is no matter how difficult to

8:15 the thing is no matter how difficult to

8:15 the thing is no matter how difficult to talk about or awkward to talk about for

8:16 talk about or awkward to talk about for

8:17 talk about or awkward to talk about for me in this situation you got to get up

8:19 me in this situation you got to get up

8:19 me in this situation you got to get up out of

8:20 out of

8:20 out of bed put your put your Vlog in pants on

8:23 bed put your put your Vlog in pants on

8:23 bed put your put your Vlog in pants on or whatever it is and go do what you

8:26 or whatever it is and go do what you

8:26 or whatever it is and go do what you have to do I think it's really hard for

8:29 have to do I think it's really hard for

8:29 have to do I think it's really hard for me it's been really difficult until I

8:32 me it's been really difficult until I

8:32 me it's been really difficult until I have that you know the cute little

8:34 have that you know the cute little

8:34 have that you know the cute little cottage somewhere with the little family

8:35 cottage somewhere with the little family

8:35 cottage somewhere with the little family and I get to do all this stuff and it's

8:37 and I get to do all this stuff and it's

8:37 and I get to do all this stuff and it's going great uh I don't know even then

8:39 going great uh I don't know even then

8:39 going great uh I don't know even then there'll be problems right even then all

8:41 there'll be problems right even then all

8:41 there'll be problems right even then all that could happen and then somebody

8:42 that could happen and then somebody

8:42 that could happen and then somebody could get cancer or something bad could

8:44 could get cancer or something bad could

8:44 could get cancer or something bad could happen to you so should we just give up

8:46 happen to you so should we just give up

8:46 happen to you so should we just give up and not try for the things that we want

8:48 and not try for the things that we want

8:48 and not try for the things that we want absolutely not we should not give up we

8:49 absolutely not we should not give up we

8:49 absolutely not we should not give up we should keep trying and keep struggling

8:51 should keep trying and keep struggling

8:51 should keep trying and keep struggling to get what we want and to get to be who

8:54 to get what we want and to get to be who

8:54 to get what we want and to get to be who we want and to get where we want in life

8:56 we want and to get where we want in life

8:56 we want and to get where we want in life right I honestly think it's more

8:58 right I honestly think it's more

8:58 right I honestly think it's more important to to try to struggle to be

9:00 important to to try to struggle to be

9:00 important to to try to struggle to be who you want than it is to struggle to

9:02 who you want than it is to struggle to

9:02 who you want than it is to struggle to get what you want because things are

9:04 get what you want because things are

9:04 get what you want because things are sort of transitory even relationships

9:07 sort of transitory even relationships

9:07 sort of transitory even relationships can sometimes be temporary or sometimes

9:09 can sometimes be temporary or sometimes

9:09 can sometimes be temporary or sometimes you can be locked into a relationship

9:10 you can be locked into a relationship

9:10 you can be locked into a relationship that you thought wanted to be permanent

9:11 that you thought wanted to be permanent

9:11 that you thought wanted to be permanent and and you know but I think it's

9:14 and and you know but I think it's

9:14 and and you know but I think it's important no matter what happens to you

9:17 important no matter what happens to you

9:17 important no matter what happens to you no matter like what the bad situation is

9:20 no matter like what the bad situation is

9:20 no matter like what the bad situation is to not let it stunt your quest for being

9:24 to not let it stunt your quest for being

9:24 to not let it stunt your quest for being who you want to be right so when you lay

9:27 who you want to be right so when you lay

9:27 who you want to be right so when you lay down at night and you're bed and you're

9:28 down at night and you're bed and you're

9:28 down at night and you're bed and you're thinking of who you are when you really

9:30 thinking of who you are when you really

9:30 thinking of who you are when you really think about who Am I who am I what kind

9:32 think about who Am I who am I what kind

9:32 think about who Am I who am I what kind of person am I or what kind of person do

9:35 of person am I or what kind of person do

9:35 of person am I or what kind of person do I want to see myself as I think we all

9:37 I want to see myself as I think we all

9:37 I want to see myself as I think we all want to see ourselves as very just and

9:39 want to see ourselves as very just and

9:39 want to see ourselves as very just and kind and a nice person and the kind of

9:42 kind and a nice person and the kind of

9:42 kind and a nice person and the kind of person people would want to love and be

9:43 person people would want to love and be

9:43 person people would want to love and be friends with and all that kind of stuff

9:45 friends with and all that kind of stuff

9:45 friends with and all that kind of stuff and unfortunately a lot of the times we

9:47 and unfortunately a lot of the times we

9:47 and unfortunately a lot of the times we aren't a lot of the times we are bitter

9:50 aren't a lot of the times we are bitter

9:50 aren't a lot of the times we are bitter we are cynical we are shortsighted we

9:52 we are cynical we are shortsighted we

9:52 we are cynical we are shortsighted we are very selfish we can be cruel and

9:54 are very selfish we can be cruel and

9:54 are very selfish we can be cruel and nasty to other people but the thing is

9:56 nasty to other people but the thing is

9:56 nasty to other people but the thing is we always think we're Justified we

9:58 we always think we're Justified we

9:58 we always think we're Justified we always think we have this good reason

10:00 always think we have this good reason

10:00 always think we have this good reason and some of us do some of us have good

10:02 and some of us do some of us have good

10:02 and some of us do some of us have good very good traumatic painful things that

10:05 very good traumatic painful things that

10:05 very good traumatic painful things that have happened to us where we have every

10:06 have happened to us where we have every

10:06 have happened to us where we have every excuse in the world to go out and be a

10:09 excuse in the world to go out and be a

10:09 excuse in the world to go out and be a hateful nasty bitter person but when you

10:12 hateful nasty bitter person but when you

10:12 hateful nasty bitter person but when you lay down at night if you're being really

10:14 lay down at night if you're being really

10:14 lay down at night if you're being really really honest with yourself when you

10:15 really honest with yourself when you

10:15 really honest with yourself when you really close your eyes and you really

10:17 really close your eyes and you really

10:17 really close your eyes and you really think about the interactions that you

10:18 think about the interactions that you

10:18 think about the interactions that you have with other people no matter how

10:19 have with other people no matter how

10:20 have with other people no matter how Justified you are in being negative no

10:21 Justified you are in being negative no

10:21 Justified you are in being negative no matter how Justified you are in hating

10:24 matter how Justified you are in hating

10:24 matter how Justified you are in hating or being cruel or being depressed or

10:26 or being cruel or being depressed or

10:26 or being cruel or being depressed or wanting to give up is that who you want

10:27 wanting to give up is that who you want

10:27 wanting to give up is that who you want to be even when it's stuff like

10:29 to be even when it's stuff like

10:29 to be even when it's stuff like depression you don't want to be

10:30 depression you don't want to be

10:30 depression you don't want to be depressed obviously but even when you

10:31 depressed obviously but even when you

10:31 depressed obviously but even when you are that way do you want to give up and

10:33 are that way do you want to give up and

10:33 are that way do you want to give up and give into it I struggle really bad with

10:35 give into it I struggle really bad with

10:35 give into it I struggle really bad with anxiety sometimes I don't want to like

10:38 anxiety sometimes I don't want to like

10:38 anxiety sometimes I don't want to like let that make me stay at home oh man

10:40 let that make me stay at home oh man

10:40 let that make me stay at home oh man sometimes going to a theme park gives me

10:41 sometimes going to a theme park gives me

10:41 sometimes going to a theme park gives me a lot of anxiety being around a lot of

10:43 a lot of anxiety being around a lot of

10:43 a lot of anxiety being around a lot of people and stuff like that do I want to

10:45 people and stuff like that do I want to

10:45 people and stuff like that do I want to let that like make me stay home forever

10:47 let that like make me stay home forever

10:47 let that like make me stay home forever like do I just want to sit in a room for

10:49 like do I just want to sit in a room for

10:49 like do I just want to sit in a room for the rest of my life because I feel a

10:50 the rest of my life because I feel a

10:50 the rest of my life because I feel a little bit anxious no absolutely not and

10:52 little bit anxious no absolutely not and

10:52 little bit anxious no absolutely not and I think if you depressed and somebody

10:54 I think if you depressed and somebody

10:54 I think if you depressed and somebody gives you the advice like hey when

10:55 gives you the advice like hey when

10:55 gives you the advice like hey when you're depressed and this advice really

10:57 you're depressed and this advice really

10:57 you're depressed and this advice really works so I hope you take this to Heart

10:58 works so I hope you take this to Heart

10:58 works so I hope you take this to Heart at least it works works for me

10:59 at least it works works for me

10:59 at least it works works for me everybody's different when you're

11:01 everybody's different when you're

11:01 everybody's different when you're depressed you need to get active with

11:02 depressed you need to get active with

11:02 depressed you need to get active with something you have to get up and find

11:03 something you have to get up and find

11:03 something you have to get up and find something to do even if it's not

11:05 something to do even if it's not

11:05 something to do even if it's not something important even if it's running

11:06 something important even if it's running

11:06 something important even if it's running or if it's boxing I don't care what it

11:08 or if it's boxing I don't care what it

11:08 or if it's boxing I don't care what it is you have to get up and find something

11:10 is you have to get up and find something

11:10 is you have to get up and find something to do somewhere to focus your energy and

11:12 to do somewhere to focus your energy and

11:12 to do somewhere to focus your energy and something to accomplish otherwise you're

11:14 something to accomplish otherwise you're

11:14 something to accomplish otherwise you're just sitting in it right it's the same

11:16 just sitting in it right it's the same

11:16 just sitting in it right it's the same thing with all the rest of this stuff if

11:18 thing with all the rest of this stuff if

11:18 thing with all the rest of this stuff if you're not who you want to be you can't

11:21 you're not who you want to be you can't

11:21 you're not who you want to be you can't just let the excuses dominate you

11:22 just let the excuses dominate you

11:22 just let the excuses dominate you forever you can't sit in your living

11:24 forever you can't sit in your living

11:24 forever you can't sit in your living room and go well I have the job I don't

11:26 room and go well I have the job I don't

11:26 room and go well I have the job I don't like and you know my boyfriend doesn't

11:28 like and you know my boyfriend doesn't

11:28 like and you know my boyfriend doesn't like me or my kids don't like me or

11:32 like me or my kids don't like me or

11:32 like me or my kids don't like me or whoever doesn't like me and I have no

11:33 whoever doesn't like me and I have no

11:33 whoever doesn't like me and I have no friends and I'm ugly and I feel gross or

11:35 friends and I'm ugly and I feel gross or

11:35 friends and I'm ugly and I feel gross or whatever it is even when you can't

11:37 whatever it is even when you can't

11:37 whatever it is even when you can't control the situation so and so was mean

11:39 control the situation so and so was mean

11:39 control the situation so and so was mean to me and now I'm sad and I'm just a sad

11:41 to me and now I'm sad and I'm just a sad

11:41 to me and now I'm sad and I'm just a sad person forever but is that who you want

11:42 person forever but is that who you want

11:42 person forever but is that who you want to be do you want to go to bed at night

11:44 to be do you want to go to bed at night

11:44 to be do you want to go to bed at night and be like I'm a sad person all I am is

11:46 and be like I'm a sad person all I am is

11:46 and be like I'm a sad person all I am is sad inside CU I really have to look at

11:48 sad inside CU I really have to look at

11:48 sad inside CU I really have to look at myself and think that sometimes do I

11:50 myself and think that sometimes do I

11:50 myself and think that sometimes do I want to be depressed it's my son's ninth

11:52 want to be depressed it's my son's ninth

11:52 want to be depressed it's my son's ninth birthday do I want to go pick him up and

11:54 birthday do I want to go pick him up and

11:54 birthday do I want to go pick him up and have the attitude that like this sucks

11:55 have the attitude that like this sucks

11:55 have the attitude that like this sucks and I'm angry at your mom and this

11:57 and I'm angry at your mom and this

11:57 and I'm angry at your mom and this hurtful thing happened to me and I'm

11:58 hurtful thing happened to me and I'm

11:59 hurtful thing happened to me and I'm depressed and my life isn't going the

12:00 depressed and my life isn't going the

12:00 depressed and my life isn't going the way I want and I can't give what I

12:02 way I want and I can't give what I

12:02 way I want and I can't give what I wanted to to my son and and I somehow

12:04 wanted to to my son and and I somehow

12:04 wanted to to my son and and I somehow this was a failure and I didn't I didn't

12:06 this was a failure and I didn't I didn't

12:06 this was a failure and I didn't I didn't keep the perfect family together what if

12:08 keep the perfect family together what if

12:08 keep the perfect family together what if I could have done something different

12:09 I could have done something different

12:09 I could have done something different that's not going to help anybody that

12:11 that's not going to help anybody that

12:11 that's not going to help anybody that doesn't help me to be who I want to get

12:13 doesn't help me to be who I want to get

12:13 doesn't help me to be who I want to get what I want to be a good example to be a

12:15 what I want to be a good example to be a

12:15 what I want to be a good example to be a good dad it doesn't help him deal with

12:18 good dad it doesn't help him deal with

12:18 good dad it doesn't help him deal with it and it certainly doesn't give him a

12:19 it and it certainly doesn't give him a

12:19 it and it certainly doesn't give him a happy birthday you don't get anywhere by

12:22 happy birthday you don't get anywhere by

12:22 happy birthday you don't get anywhere by giving up and sitting in the situation

12:25 giving up and sitting in the situation

12:25 giving up and sitting in the situation and letting it Crush you so no matter

12:27 and letting it Crush you so no matter

12:27 and letting it Crush you so no matter how hard it is no matter how much it

12:29 how hard it is no matter how much it

12:29 how hard it is no matter how much it chokes you up and no matter how alone

12:32 chokes you up and no matter how alone

12:32 chokes you up and no matter how alone you feel with the struggle because it is

12:33 you feel with the struggle because it is

12:33 you feel with the struggle because it is your struggle and not somebody else's

12:35 your struggle and not somebody else's

12:35 your struggle and not somebody else's that's the other thing you can't expect

12:36 that's the other thing you can't expect

12:36 that's the other thing you can't expect other people to do it for you you can't

12:38 other people to do it for you you can't

12:38 other people to do it for you you can't expect other people to understand all

12:39 expect other people to understand all

12:40 expect other people to understand all the

12:40 the time I get frustrated because sometimes

12:43 time I get frustrated because sometimes

12:43 time I get frustrated because sometimes when I talk about this stuff that hurts

12:44 when I talk about this stuff that hurts

12:44 when I talk about this stuff that hurts me I kind of expect other people oh my

12:47 me I kind of expect other people oh my

12:47 me I kind of expect other people oh my gosh I know you're right man how

12:48 gosh I know you're right man how

12:48 gosh I know you're right man how horrible sometimes people like oh okay

12:50 horrible sometimes people like oh okay

12:50 horrible sometimes people like oh okay they don't care or they'll try and play

12:52 they don't care or they'll try and play

12:52 they don't care or they'll try and play Devil's Advocate with me and take the

12:53 Devil's Advocate with me and take the

12:53 Devil's Advocate with me and take the other person's side or explain the other

12:54 other person's side or explain the other

12:54 other person's side or explain the other person's side to me and I get so

12:55 person's side to me and I get so

12:55 person's side to me and I get so frustrated and I realize but it's my

12:58 frustrated and I realize but it's my

12:58 frustrated and I realize but it's my struggle though

12:59 struggle though

12:59 struggle though and sure I could give up and go I don't

13:00 and sure I could give up and go I don't

13:00 and sure I could give up and go I don't want to struggle I could be lazy like

13:02 want to struggle I could be lazy like

13:02 want to struggle I could be lazy like most I think most people are I think a

13:04 most I think most people are I think a

13:04 most I think most people are I think a lot of most people not to be cynical but

13:06 lot of most people not to be cynical but

13:06 lot of most people not to be cynical but I think most people really take the

13:08 I think most people really take the

13:08 I think most people really take the excuses and run with it well I get to be

13:10 excuses and run with it well I get to be

13:10 excuses and run with it well I get to be bitter and grumpy at the end of the day

13:12 bitter and grumpy at the end of the day

13:12 bitter and grumpy at the end of the day and I get to treat my family like crap

13:13 and I get to treat my family like crap

13:13 and I get to treat my family like crap when I come home because I had a hard

13:14 when I come home because I had a hard

13:14 when I come home because I had a hard day at work I get to be nasty and mean

13:17 day at work I get to be nasty and mean

13:17 day at work I get to be nasty and mean to my friends because I you know my

13:19 to my friends because I you know my

13:19 to my friends because I you know my girlfriend dumps me or I get to do this

13:22 girlfriend dumps me or I get to do this

13:22 girlfriend dumps me or I get to do this and this and this because my kids ask me

13:23 and this and this because my kids ask me

13:23 and this and this because my kids ask me or whatever it is and I don't think a

13:25 or whatever it is and I don't think a

13:25 or whatever it is and I don't think a lot of people really take responsibility

13:27 lot of people really take responsibility

13:27 lot of people really take responsibility for their own happiness if I want to be

13:30 for their own happiness if I want to be

13:30 for their own happiness if I want to be happy today if I want to be happy

13:32 happy today if I want to be happy

13:32 happy today if I want to be happy tomorrow if I want to go pick up that

13:34 tomorrow if I want to go pick up that

13:34 tomorrow if I want to go pick up that kid and give him a happy birthday if I

13:36 kid and give him a happy birthday if I

13:36 kid and give him a happy birthday if I want to go do the Vlog tomorrow and have

13:38 want to go do the Vlog tomorrow and have

13:38 want to go do the Vlog tomorrow and have an adventure like a fun adventure and

13:40 an adventure like a fun adventure and

13:40 an adventure like a fun adventure and make the thing that is working in my

13:42 make the thing that is working in my

13:42 make the thing that is working in my life still work I have to wake up every

13:44 life still work I have to wake up every

13:44 life still work I have to wake up every day and make the decision to take

13:47 day and make the decision to take

13:47 day and make the decision to take responsibility for my own internal

13:49 responsibility for my own internal

13:49 responsibility for my own internal happiness and even if I'm sad and even

13:51 happiness and even if I'm sad and even

13:51 happiness and even if I'm sad and even if I feel depressed and I'm struggling

13:53 if I feel depressed and I'm struggling

13:53 if I feel depressed and I'm struggling not to put on a fake mask and be phony

13:55 not to put on a fake mask and be phony

13:55 not to put on a fake mask and be phony about it but just to struggle and go all

13:57 about it but just to struggle and go all

13:57 about it but just to struggle and go all right I'm going to look at the positive

13:59 right I'm going to look at the positive

13:59 right I'm going to look at the positive I'm going to think of all the things

14:00 I'm going to think of all the things

14:00 I'm going to think of all the things that make me grateful I'm going to

14:02 that make me grateful I'm going to

14:02 that make me grateful I'm going to struggle as hard as I can struggle to be

14:05 struggle as hard as I can struggle to be

14:05 struggle as hard as I can struggle to be the person that I want to be and even if

14:07 the person that I want to be and even if

14:07 the person that I want to be and even if I can't make my circumstances be how I

14:09 I can't make my circumstances be how I

14:09 I can't make my circumstances be how I want them to be at least I can make my

14:11 want them to be at least I can make my

14:11 want them to be at least I can make my attitude what I would want it to be

14:12 attitude what I would want it to be

14:12 attitude what I would want it to be right because I want to be the kind of

14:14 right because I want to be the kind of

14:14 right because I want to be the kind of person that I would want to be friends

14:16 person that I would want to be friends

14:16 person that I would want to be friends with I want to be the kind of person

14:18 with I want to be the kind of person

14:18 with I want to be the kind of person that I would want to be with and be

14:20 that I would want to be with and be

14:20 that I would want to be with and be around I want to be the kind of person

14:22 around I want to be the kind of person

14:22 around I want to be the kind of person who can be kind-hearted and caring and

14:24 who can be kind-hearted and caring and

14:24 who can be kind-hearted and caring and forgiving and upbeat and who struggles

14:28 forgiving and upbeat and who struggles

14:28 forgiving and upbeat and who struggles and tries their hardest and does their

14:30 and tries their hardest and does their

14:30 and tries their hardest and does their best I want to be the kind of person

14:32 best I want to be the kind of person

14:32 best I want to be the kind of person that can be proud of myself you know

14:34 that can be proud of myself you know

14:34 that can be proud of myself you know when I lay down in bed at night or when

14:36 when I lay down in bed at night or when

14:36 when I lay down in bed at night or when I die someday if I get the chance to

14:39 I die someday if I get the chance to

14:39 I die someday if I get the chance to reflect as I'm doing it as I Lay Dying I

14:42 reflect as I'm doing it as I Lay Dying I

14:42 reflect as I'm doing it as I Lay Dying I want to know that I tried as hard as I

14:47 want to know that I tried as hard as I

14:47 want to know that I tried as hard as I could because when I look at my own kid

14:50 could because when I look at my own kid

14:50 could because when I look at my own kid I would never want to smother him and

14:51 I would never want to smother him and

14:51 I would never want to smother him and tell him who to be or what he has to do

14:53 tell him who to be or what he has to do

14:53 tell him who to be or what he has to do I would never project my wants and

14:55 I would never project my wants and

14:55 I would never project my wants and desires on him because to be honest with

14:57 desires on him because to be honest with

14:57 desires on him because to be honest with you I feel like that would be really

14:58 you I feel like that would be really

14:58 you I feel like that would be really terrible what I want for him would be

15:01 terrible what I want for him would be

15:01 terrible what I want for him would be for him to be the best him that he could

15:04 for him to be the best him that he could

15:04 for him to be the best him that he could be for him to be the best of himself to

15:07 be for him to be the best of himself to

15:07 be for him to be the best of himself to get what he wants out of life and to be

15:08 get what he wants out of life and to be

15:08 get what he wants out of life and to be the person that he wants to be and how I

15:10 the person that he wants to be and how I

15:10 the person that he wants to be and how I can help him and support him do that

15:12 can help him and support him do that

15:12 can help him and support him do that remains to be seen because who knows

15:13 remains to be seen because who knows

15:13 remains to be seen because who knows what he wants to do in life I don't know

15:15 what he wants to do in life I don't know

15:16 what he wants to do in life I don't know where I was going with that I got

15:16 where I was going with that I got

15:16 where I was going with that I got confused by my own analogy but that's

15:19 confused by my own analogy but that's

15:19 confused by my own analogy but that's the whole thing I want to lay there

15:20 the whole thing I want to lay there

15:20 the whole thing I want to lay there dying and know that I did my best

15:22 dying and know that I did my best

15:22 dying and know that I did my best because that's what I would expect from

15:23 because that's what I would expect from

15:23 because that's what I would expect from him is like did you do your best did you

15:24 him is like did you do your best did you

15:24 him is like did you do your best did you try as hard as you could to get the

15:26 try as hard as you could to get the

15:26 try as hard as you could to get the thing you want cuz if you're trying as

15:27 thing you want cuz if you're trying as

15:27 thing you want cuz if you're trying as hard as you can to get the thing you

15:28 hard as you can to get the thing you

15:28 hard as you can to get the thing you want and you're trying as hard as you

15:29 want and you're trying as hard as you

15:29 want and you're trying as hard as you can to be the best person that you can

15:31 can to be the best person that you can

15:31 can to be the best person that you can be then I'm always going to have your

15:33 be then I'm always going to have your

15:33 be then I'm always going to have your back and I'm always going to support you

15:34 back and I'm always going to support you

15:34 back and I'm always going to support you even if you want to do stuff that I

15:35 even if you want to do stuff that I

15:35 even if you want to do stuff that I don't like right and it's the same thing

15:37 don't like right and it's the same thing

15:37 don't like right and it's the same thing for myself why would I have a different

15:39 for myself why would I have a different

15:39 for myself why would I have a different standard for myself I have to hold

15:40 standard for myself I have to hold

15:40 standard for myself I have to hold myself to the same standard am I trying

15:42 myself to the same standard am I trying

15:42 myself to the same standard am I trying as hard as I can not just to get achieve

15:45 as hard as I can not just to get achieve

15:45 as hard as I can not just to get achieve the goal I want like not just to get the

15:47 the goal I want like not just to get the

15:47 the goal I want like not just to get the guitar I want or the car I want or the

15:49 guitar I want or the car I want or the

15:49 guitar I want or the car I want or the clothes I want or something like that

15:51 clothes I want or something like that

15:51 clothes I want or something like that even a house or whatever it is but to be

15:54 even a house or whatever it is but to be

15:54 even a house or whatever it is but to be the person that I want to be am I a

15:56 the person that I want to be am I a

15:56 the person that I want to be am I a forgiving person am this might go right

15:58 forgiving person am this might go right

15:58 forgiving person am this might go right hand in hand with with a lot of people

15:59 hand in hand with with a lot of people

15:59 hand in hand with with a lot of people are going through lent right now so it

16:00 are going through lent right now so it

16:00 are going through lent right now so it might be like maybe this is my Lenton

16:02 might be like maybe this is my Lenton

16:02 might be like maybe this is my Lenton Vlog or something but it are you trying

16:05 Vlog or something but it are you trying

16:05 Vlog or something but it are you trying as hard as you can to be the person that

16:09 as hard as you can to be the person that

16:09 as hard as you can to be the person that you feel like you are because a lot of

16:13 you feel like you are because a lot of

16:13 you feel like you are because a lot of of us feel like we're doing great we're

16:15 of us feel like we're doing great we're

16:15 of us feel like we're doing great we're like awesome people and we never really

16:16 like awesome people and we never really

16:16 like awesome people and we never really stopped to think like am I that am I

16:18 stopped to think like am I that am I

16:18 stopped to think like am I that am I awesome though cuz I was kind of rude to

16:20 awesome though cuz I was kind of rude to

16:20 awesome though cuz I was kind of rude to my friends and I don't spend a lot of

16:21 my friends and I don't spend a lot of

16:21 my friends and I don't spend a lot of time with these people and I don't put a

16:23 time with these people and I don't put a

16:23 time with these people and I don't put a lot of effort into look examining my own

16:26 lot of effort into look examining my own

16:26 lot of effort into look examining my own faults and working on my own Character

16:28 faults and working on my own Character

16:28 faults and working on my own Character defects you know what I mean and I think

16:29 defects you know what I mean and I think

16:29 defects you know what I mean and I think most of us get kind of lazy about that

16:31 most of us get kind of lazy about that

16:31 most of us get kind of lazy about that we accept our own excuses we accept our

16:34 we accept our own excuses we accept our

16:34 we accept our own excuses we accept our own limitations and then we make it

16:36 own limitations and then we make it

16:36 own limitations and then we make it everybody else's fault when something

16:37 everybody else's fault when something

16:37 everybody else's fault when something goes wrong and even when it is somebody

16:40 goes wrong and even when it is somebody

16:40 goes wrong and even when it is somebody else's fault okay well just pointing a

16:41 else's fault okay well just pointing a

16:41 else's fault okay well just pointing a finger and saying that's that person's

16:43 finger and saying that's that person's

16:43 finger and saying that's that person's fault it doesn't change your life or

16:44 fault it doesn't change your life or

16:45 fault it doesn't change your life or make your life any better you have to

16:46 make your life any better you have to

16:46 make your life any better you have to get up and do it for yourself I have to

16:49 get up and do it for yourself I have to

16:49 get up and do it for yourself I have to get up and do it for myself and I guess

16:51 get up and do it for myself and I guess

16:51 get up and do it for myself and I guess the only reason I wanted to share this

16:53 the only reason I wanted to share this

16:53 the only reason I wanted to share this wasn't to give a motivational speech nor

16:55 wasn't to give a motivational speech nor

16:55 wasn't to give a motivational speech nor was it to say my life is hard pity me it

16:57 was it to say my life is hard pity me it

16:57 was it to say my life is hard pity me it was just to share a little personal

16:59 was just to share a little personal

16:59 was just to share a little personal piece of my life so that you understand

17:01 piece of my life so that you understand

17:01 piece of my life so that you understand that even though we do some really cool

17:02 that even though we do some really cool

17:02 that even though we do some really cool stuff together and we're going to keep

17:03 stuff together and we're going to keep

17:03 stuff together and we're going to keep doing really cool stuff together it

17:05 doing really cool stuff together it

17:05 doing really cool stuff together it doesn't always mean everything's perfect

17:06 doesn't always mean everything's perfect

17:06 doesn't always mean everything's perfect I don't ever want to project a false

17:09 I don't ever want to project a false

17:09 I don't ever want to project a false sense of perfection oh if you go do this

17:11 sense of perfection oh if you go do this

17:11 sense of perfection oh if you go do this and this you'll be you'll feel perfect

17:14 and this you'll be you'll feel perfect

17:14 and this you'll be you'll feel perfect oh if you just have the perfect

17:15 oh if you just have the perfect

17:15 oh if you just have the perfect Instagram account then everything will

17:16 Instagram account then everything will

17:16 Instagram account then everything will be perfect if you just have a lot of

17:17 be perfect if you just have a lot of

17:17 be perfect if you just have a lot of Instagram follow people say that to me

17:19 Instagram follow people say that to me

17:19 Instagram follow people say that to me oh my God if I could just get as many

17:20 oh my God if I could just get as many

17:20 oh my God if I could just get as many Instagram followers as you which I don't

17:21 Instagram followers as you which I don't

17:21 Instagram followers as you which I don't really don't have that many Instagram

17:22 really don't have that many Instagram

17:22 really don't have that many Instagram fault 13,000 or so it's a lot but it's

17:25 fault 13,000 or so it's a lot but it's

17:25 fault 13,000 or so it's a lot but it's not like we're not talking PewDiePie

17:27 not like we're not talking PewDiePie

17:27 not like we're not talking PewDiePie numbers or something on YouTube we're

17:29 numbers or something on YouTube we're

17:29 numbers or something on YouTube we're not talking about huge like but there

17:31 not talking about huge like but there

17:31 not talking about huge like but there are people who legitimately feel like

17:33 are people who legitimately feel like

17:33 are people who legitimately feel like man if I could just get 10K on Instagram

17:36 man if I could just get 10K on Instagram

17:36 man if I could just get 10K on Instagram I would be such a happy person I'm here

17:38 I would be such a happy person I'm here

17:38 I would be such a happy person I'm here to tell you it doesn't change anything

17:40 to tell you it doesn't change anything

17:40 to tell you it doesn't change anything about who you really are deep down when

17:42 about who you really are deep down when

17:42 about who you really are deep down when you're younger especially but I think a

17:44 you're younger especially but I think a

17:44 you're younger especially but I think a lot of adults fall into this it's really

17:45 lot of adults fall into this it's really

17:45 lot of adults fall into this it's really easy to be like oh when you're young and

17:46 easy to be like oh when you're young and

17:46 easy to be like oh when you're young and dumb no it's when you keep yourself

17:48 dumb no it's when you keep yourself

17:48 dumb no it's when you keep yourself ignorant when you don't

17:50 ignorant when you don't

17:50 ignorant when you don't know you think that if you can just

17:53 know you think that if you can just

17:53 know you think that if you can just reach these little goals you'll be

17:55 reach these little goals you'll be

17:55 reach these little goals you'll be happier inside oh if I can just get this

17:58 happier inside oh if I can just get this

17:58 happier inside oh if I can just get this get 10,000 followers on YouTube or

18:00 get 10,000 followers on YouTube or

18:00 get 10,000 followers on YouTube or 10,000 followers on Instagram I'll be a

18:02 10,000 followers on Instagram I'll be a

18:02 10,000 followers on Instagram I'll be a better happier person oh if I could just

18:04 better happier person oh if I could just

18:04 better happier person oh if I could just get that car I would be a better happier

18:06 get that car I would be a better happier

18:07 get that car I would be a better happier person I think most of us including me

18:09 person I think most of us including me

18:09 person I think most of us including me sometimes just think man if I just had a

18:10 sometimes just think man if I just had a

18:10 sometimes just think man if I just had a million dollars so I could do this or

18:12 million dollars so I could do this or

18:12 million dollars so I could do this or this I'd be the happiest best person but

18:14 this I'd be the happiest best person but

18:14 this I'd be the happiest best person but I have got I'm telling you I've got to

18:17 I have got I'm telling you I've got to

18:17 I have got I'm telling you I've got to do a lot of rad stuff that even I never

18:20 do a lot of rad stuff that even I never

18:20 do a lot of rad stuff that even I never thought I would get to do and that all

18:21 thought I would get to do and that all

18:21 thought I would get to do and that all kinds of people are dreaming oh my gosh

18:23 kinds of people are dreaming oh my gosh

18:23 kinds of people are dreaming oh my gosh I wish I could spend every day in a

18:24 I wish I could spend every day in a

18:25 I wish I could spend every day in a Disney park oh my gosh I wish I could

18:26 Disney park oh my gosh I wish I could

18:26 Disney park oh my gosh I wish I could just go stay in that hotel just once it

18:28 just go stay in that hotel just once it

18:28 just go stay in that hotel just once it change my life it would make me a better

18:29 change my life it would make me a better

18:29 change my life it would make me a better person it does not by itself change your

18:31 person it does not by itself change your

18:31 person it does not by itself change your life I I hate to burst the bubble it

18:34 life I I hate to burst the bubble it

18:34 life I I hate to burst the bubble it does not all by itself and by the way

18:35 does not all by itself and by the way

18:35 does not all by itself and by the way this is so painful for my ankle but I

18:37 this is so painful for my ankle but I

18:37 this is so painful for my ankle but I was trying to get away from all the

18:38 was trying to get away from all the

18:38 was trying to get away from all the lawnmowers earlier and come somewhere

18:40 lawnmowers earlier and come somewhere

18:40 lawnmowers earlier and come somewhere sort of secluded for the Vlog and yes

18:42 sort of secluded for the Vlog and yes

18:42 sort of secluded for the Vlog and yes I'll go rest after this but um it does

18:45 I'll go rest after this but um it does

18:45 I'll go rest after this but um it does not by itself change your life having

18:47 not by itself change your life having

18:47 not by itself change your life having the thing even having the little Victory

18:48 the thing even having the little Victory

18:48 the thing even having the little Victory and getting your goal even your life

18:50 and getting your goal even your life

18:50 and getting your goal even your life bucketless goal does not all by itself

18:52 bucketless goal does not all by itself

18:52 bucketless goal does not all by itself change your life if you don't take the

18:55 change your life if you don't take the

18:55 change your life if you don't take the time and invest the time in yourself as

18:57 time and invest the time in yourself as

18:57 time and invest the time in yourself as hard as as it is to examine the things

18:59 hard as as it is to examine the things

18:59 hard as as it is to examine the things that hurt and examine the things that

19:01 that hurt and examine the things that

19:01 that hurt and examine the things that are really painful and sometimes the

19:03 are really painful and sometimes the

19:03 are really painful and sometimes the painful thing honestly is looking

19:04 painful thing honestly is looking

19:04 painful thing honestly is looking yourself in the mirror and going wow I

19:06 yourself in the mirror and going wow I

19:06 yourself in the mirror and going wow I screwed

19:07 screwed

19:07 screwed up some some of us have to look at me go

19:09 up some some of us have to look at me go

19:09 up some some of us have to look at me go wow I became really grumpy you know I

19:12 wow I became really grumpy you know I

19:12 wow I became really grumpy you know I became really nasty there's a lot of

19:15 became really nasty there's a lot of

19:15 became really nasty there's a lot of people out there that thought they were

19:16 people out there that thought they were

19:16 people out there that thought they were going to be the football hero this is

19:17 going to be the football hero this is

19:17 going to be the football hero this is the old cliche I'm just using this as an

19:18 the old cliche I'm just using this as an

19:18 the old cliche I'm just using this as an example who thought they were going to

19:19 example who thought they were going to

19:19 example who thought they were going to be the football hero and didn't and went

19:22 be the football hero and didn't and went

19:22 be the football hero and didn't and went to work at some company and time slipped

19:24 to work at some company and time slipped

19:24 to work at some company and time slipped away from them and they had a family and

19:25 away from them and they had a family and

19:25 away from them and they had a family and they liked their family but they never

19:27 they liked their family but they never

19:27 they liked their family but they never realized that work and all this stuff

19:29 realized that work and all this stuff

19:29 realized that work and all this stuff and never realizing their goals and they

19:30 and never realizing their goals and they

19:30 and never realizing their goals and they had this bitterness and this sorrow

19:32 had this bitterness and this sorrow

19:32 had this bitterness and this sorrow inside of them they never looked at it

19:33 inside of them they never looked at it

19:33 inside of them they never looked at it and it built up and it built up and it

19:34 and it built up and it built up and it

19:34 and it built up and it built up and it built up until they're always fighting

19:36 built up until they're always fighting

19:36 built up until they're always fighting with their family and they're always

19:37 with their family and they're always

19:37 with their family and they're always unhappy with everything and they're

19:38 unhappy with everything and they're

19:38 unhappy with everything and they're controlling and they're nasty and

19:39 controlling and they're nasty and

19:39 controlling and they're nasty and they're negative and they never you know

19:40 they're negative and they never you know

19:41 they're negative and they never you know what I'm talking about the the old

19:42 what I'm talking about the the old

19:42 what I'm talking about the the old cliche of the beer drinking dad who so

19:44 cliche of the beer drinking dad who so

19:44 cliche of the beer drinking dad who so unhappy with everything and and he

19:46 unhappy with everything and and he

19:46 unhappy with everything and and he didn't live his dream in high he peaked

19:48 didn't live his dream in high he peaked

19:48 didn't live his dream in high he peaked in high school and all that and there

19:49 in high school and all that and there

19:49 in high school and all that and there really are a lot of people like that

19:51 really are a lot of people like that

19:51 really are a lot of people like that precisely because they don't take a look

19:52 precisely because they don't take a look

19:52 precisely because they don't take a look around take responsibility for their own

19:54 around take responsibility for their own

19:54 around take responsibility for their own happiness and say no I'm not going to be

19:56 happiness and say no I'm not going to be

19:56 happiness and say no I'm not going to be that I I need to look in the mirror and

19:58 that I I need to look in the mirror and

19:58 that I I need to look in the mirror and say yeah I kind of became a miserable

20:00 say yeah I kind of became a miserable

20:00 say yeah I kind of became a miserable wreck and instead of looking for the

20:02 wreck and instead of looking for the

20:02 wreck and instead of looking for the excuses to make us feel better about

20:04 excuses to make us feel better about

20:04 excuses to make us feel better about being the miserable Wretch like let's

20:06 being the miserable Wretch like let's

20:06 being the miserable Wretch like let's just not be the miserable wret how about

20:08 just not be the miserable wret how about

20:08 just not be the miserable wret how about that I just think there's two paths we

20:10 that I just think there's two paths we

20:10 that I just think there's two paths we can look at the excuses I know I'm going

20:11 can look at the excuses I know I'm going

20:11 can look at the excuses I know I'm going on and on and on we can either look at

20:13 on and on and on we can either look at

20:13 on and on and on we can either look at the excuses and go yeah I have every

20:15 the excuses and go yeah I have every

20:15 the excuses and go yeah I have every excuse to be this way so now I feel

20:17 excuse to be this way so now I feel

20:17 excuse to be this way so now I feel better that I am a jerkwad or we can go

20:20 better that I am a jerkwad or we can go

20:20 better that I am a jerkwad or we can go hey I'm a jerkwad let's work on that I

20:23 hey I'm a jerkwad let's work on that I

20:23 hey I'm a jerkwad let's work on that I feel like that's the important part

20:24 feel like that's the important part

20:24 feel like that's the important part right there so just because things look

20:26 right there so just because things look

20:27 right there so just because things look nice doesn't mean they're perfect

20:28 nice doesn't mean they're perfect

20:28 nice doesn't mean they're perfect just because it looks like something's

20:31 just because it looks like something's

20:31 just because it looks like something's great for somebody else like you're

20:32 great for somebody else like you're

20:32 great for somebody else like you're looking at somebody else's Instagram or

20:34 looking at somebody else's Instagram or

20:34 looking at somebody else's Instagram or their body or their number of followers

20:37 their body or their number of followers

20:37 their body or their number of followers or their job or their girlfriend or

20:40 or their job or their girlfriend or

20:40 or their job or their girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever it is and you

20:41 boyfriend or whatever it is and you

20:41 boyfriend or whatever it is and you think if I just had that I would be

20:42 think if I just had that I would be

20:42 think if I just had that I would be happy just because you see that from a

20:44 happy just because you see that from a

20:44 happy just because you see that from a distance through the little window of

20:46 distance through the little window of

20:46 distance through the little window of the internet or TV or whatever it is

20:47 the internet or TV or whatever it is

20:47 the internet or TV or whatever it is doesn't mean that if you had it you

20:50 doesn't mean that if you had it you

20:50 doesn't mean that if you had it you would be perfectly satisfied and happy

20:52 would be perfectly satisfied and happy

20:52 would be perfectly satisfied and happy what makes somebody happy is the work

20:53 what makes somebody happy is the work

20:53 what makes somebody happy is the work they do on the inside in their heart

20:55 they do on the inside in their heart

20:55 they do on the inside in their heart because there's plenty of people who are

20:56 because there's plenty of people who are

20:56 because there's plenty of people who are poor and never have the the opportunity

20:58 poor and never have the the opportunity

20:58 poor and never have the the opportunity to go anywhere and they're dumb and

21:01 to go anywhere and they're dumb and

21:01 to go anywhere and they're dumb and they're never going to be smart they're

21:02 they're never going to be smart they're

21:02 they're never going to be smart they're never going to be handsome or pretty and

21:03 never going to be handsome or pretty and

21:03 never going to be handsome or pretty and they're never going to have you know the

21:05 they're never going to have you know the

21:05 they're never going to have you know the purebred dog and the Fancy Shoes and

21:08 purebred dog and the Fancy Shoes and

21:08 purebred dog and the Fancy Shoes and pure bread dog what's wrong with me

21:09 pure bread dog what's wrong with me

21:09 pure bread dog what's wrong with me they're never going to have the things

21:12 they're never going to have the things

21:12 they're never going to have the things like that that are perfectly happy

21:14 like that that are perfectly happy

21:14 like that that are perfectly happy because they learn to be grateful for

21:15 because they learn to be grateful for

21:15 because they learn to be grateful for what they have and they learned to work

21:17 what they have and they learned to work

21:17 what they have and they learned to work on themselves as people and they're

21:20 on themselves as people and they're

21:20 on themselves as people and they're proud of who they are and what they were

21:22 proud of who they are and what they were

21:22 proud of who they are and what they were able to accomplish with what they were

21:23 able to accomplish with what they were

21:23 able to accomplish with what they were given and that's really the important

21:25 given and that's really the important

21:26 given and that's really the important thing can you be proud of what you've

21:28 thing can you be proud of what you've

21:28 thing can you be proud of what you've done and what you're doing with what you

21:31 done and what you're doing with what you

21:31 done and what you're doing with what you have are you happy with how you treat

21:34 have are you happy with how you treat

21:34 have are you happy with how you treat other people based on how your life is

21:37 other people based on how your life is

21:37 other people based on how your life is now don't think about well if I was just

21:39 now don't think about well if I was just

21:39 now don't think about well if I was just a little bit happier if I had this this

21:40 a little bit happier if I had this this

21:40 a little bit happier if I had this this and this then I would be nicer but you

21:41 and this then I would be nicer but you

21:41 and this then I would be nicer but you know the way things are of course I'm

21:43 know the way things are of course I'm

21:43 know the way things are of course I'm grumpy no no no no no no are you happy

21:45 grumpy no no no no no no are you happy

21:45 grumpy no no no no no no are you happy with how you treat the people around you

21:48 with how you treat the people around you

21:48 with how you treat the people around you now are you happy with that are you

21:53 now are you happy with that are you

21:53 now are you happy with that are you happy with what you do at the end of the

21:55 happy with what you do at the end of the

21:55 happy with what you do at the end of the day with what you do with yourself and

21:57 day with what you do with yourself and

21:57 day with what you do with yourself and how you conduct yourself even if it's at

21:59 how you conduct yourself even if it's at

21:59 how you conduct yourself even if it's at a job you hate now with what you're

22:01 a job you hate now with what you're

22:01 a job you hate now with what you're given now that's really really the

22:03 given now that's really really the

22:03 given now that's really really the question that's the question I have to

22:05 question that's the question I have to

22:05 question that's the question I have to ask myself too it doesn't matter are you

22:07 ask myself too it doesn't matter are you

22:07 ask myself too it doesn't matter are you happy now probably not you have to work

22:10 happy now probably not you have to work

22:10 happy now probably not you have to work on these things it's just not easy it

22:12 on these things it's just not easy it

22:12 on these things it's just not easy it doesn't doesn't get handed to you so

22:14 doesn't doesn't get handed to you so

22:14 doesn't doesn't get handed to you so that's I'm not and by the way I'm not

22:16 that's I'm not and by the way I'm not

22:16 that's I'm not and by the way I'm not preaching this is me talking about

22:18 preaching this is me talking about

22:18 preaching this is me talking about myself and to myself this is all the

22:20 myself and to myself this is all the

22:20 myself and to myself this is all the stuff I have been thinking lately

22:22 stuff I have been thinking lately

22:22 stuff I have been thinking lately because let me tell you the situation

22:24 because let me tell you the situation

22:24 because let me tell you the situation today made me a little cranky yesterday

22:26 today made me a little cranky yesterday

22:26 today made me a little cranky yesterday and I was really having a hard time like

22:28 and I was really having a hard time like

22:28 and I was really having a hard time like a really hard time inside here and I was

22:30 a really hard time inside here and I was

22:30 a really hard time inside here and I was starting to like be snippy with people

22:32 starting to like be snippy with people

22:32 starting to like be snippy with people and stuff like that and I realized like

22:34 and stuff like that and I realized like

22:34 and stuff like that and I realized like it had been a long time since I made a

22:36 it had been a long time since I made a

22:36 it had been a long time since I made a really hardcore self-examination of

22:38 really hardcore self-examination of

22:38 really hardcore self-examination of myself like am I happy with the way I

22:41 myself like am I happy with the way I

22:41 myself like am I happy with the way I treat people when this stuff comes up or

22:42 treat people when this stuff comes up or

22:42 treat people when this stuff comes up or the way I talk to people even not that I

22:44 the way I talk to people even not that I

22:44 the way I talk to people even not that I did anything super cruel I didn't yell

22:46 did anything super cruel I didn't yell

22:46 did anything super cruel I didn't yell at anybody or anything like that but

22:47 at anybody or anything like that but

22:47 at anybody or anything like that but just am I happy with that am I happy

22:49 just am I happy with that am I happy

22:49 just am I happy with that am I happy with how much I let something sad

22:52 with how much I let something sad

22:52 with how much I let something sad control me no no I don't want to let it

22:56 control me no no I don't want to let it

22:56 control me no no I don't want to let it ruin my day I don't want to let it ruin

22:58 ruin my day I don't want to let it ruin

22:58 ruin my day I don't want to let it ruin somebody else that's more important than

22:59 somebody else that's more important than

22:59 somebody else that's more important than me today like I want to be there for

23:02 me today like I want to be there for

23:02 me today like I want to be there for other people but to be there for other

23:03 other people but to be there for other

23:03 other people but to be there for other people I have to work on myself first so

23:05 people I have to work on myself first so

23:05 people I have to work on myself first so anyway I know it's a long rambling sort

23:09 anyway I know it's a long rambling sort

23:09 anyway I know it's a long rambling sort of personal thing there and again not

23:12 of personal thing there and again not

23:12 of personal thing there and again not preaching not thinking of anybody else

23:13 preaching not thinking of anybody else

23:14 preaching not thinking of anybody else in the world cuz there's always somebody

23:15 in the world cuz there's always somebody

23:15 in the world cuz there's always somebody out there who's like he's talking to me

23:19 out there who's like he's talking to me

23:19 out there who's like he's talking to me directly how did you know that I was

23:21 directly how did you know that I was

23:21 directly how did you know that I was fighting with my brother-in-law like I I

23:23 fighting with my brother-in-law like I I

23:23 fighting with my brother-in-law like I I didn't know I don't know what you're

23:24 didn't know I don't know what you're

23:24 didn't know I don't know what you're talking about I'm only talking about

23:25 talking about I'm only talking about

23:25 talking about I'm only talking about myself and if I use any analogies you

23:27 myself and if I use any analogies you

23:28 myself and if I use any analogies you know any resemblance to realized

23:29 know any resemblance to realized

23:29 know any resemblance to realized situations is purely fictional

23:31 situations is purely fictional

23:31 situations is purely fictional unintentional whatever like the

23:33 unintentional whatever like the

23:33 unintentional whatever like the disclaimer they have in movies cuz I use

23:35 disclaimer they have in movies cuz I use

23:35 disclaimer they have in movies cuz I use a lot of analogies but I hope that some

23:37 a lot of analogies but I hope that some

23:37 a lot of analogies but I hope that some of it made sense I hope that some of you

23:39 of it made sense I hope that some of you

23:39 of it made sense I hope that some of you made it to the end of this Vlog although

23:40 made it to the end of this Vlog although

23:40 made it to the end of this Vlog although I doubt many of you did some of you

23:42 I doubt many of you did some of you

23:42 I doubt many of you did some of you probably skipped that's fine we're going

23:43 probably skipped that's fine we're going

23:43 probably skipped that's fine we're going to go do fun

23:45 to go do fun

23:45 to go do fun stuff tomorrow and the rest of the week

23:48 stuff tomorrow and the rest of the week

23:48 stuff tomorrow and the rest of the week but I like to be honest and sincere the

23:51 but I like to be honest and sincere the

23:51 but I like to be honest and sincere the thing that I pride myself on is not

23:53 thing that I pride myself on is not

23:53 thing that I pride myself on is not being the coolest not being the smartest

23:55 being the coolest not being the smartest

23:55 being the coolest not being the smartest not being the most handsome the thing

23:57 not being the most handsome the thing

23:57 not being the most handsome the thing thing that I struggle for and that I try

24:01 thing that I struggle for and that I try

24:01 thing that I struggle for and that I try to do and that I'm the most proud of is

24:02 to do and that I'm the most proud of is

24:02 to do and that I'm the most proud of is that I am very honest and sincere and

24:05 that I am very honest and sincere and

24:05 that I am very honest and sincere and that whatever I'm trying to do I at

24:06 that whatever I'm trying to do I at

24:06 that whatever I'm trying to do I at least give it my best shot and there you

24:08 least give it my best shot and there you

24:08 least give it my best shot and there you go so I'm trying to be honest and

24:10 go so I'm trying to be honest and

24:10 go so I'm trying to be honest and transparent share a little of my life

24:12 transparent share a little of my life

24:12 transparent share a little of my life with you hope you appreciate it if you

24:13 with you hope you appreciate it if you

24:13 with you hope you appreciate it if you don't you can un subscribe that's fine

24:14 don't you can un subscribe that's fine

24:15 don't you can un subscribe that's fine but I hope you stick around I love you

24:16 but I hope you stick around I love you

24:16 but I hope you stick around I love you all I really do appreciate you the

24:18 all I really do appreciate you the

24:18 all I really do appreciate you the fastport press.com blah blah blah blah

24:20 fastport press.com blah blah blah blah

24:20 fastport press.com blah blah blah blah all that stuff and uh I'm still

24:22 all that stuff and uh I'm still

24:22 all that stuff and uh I'm still recovering from jet lag and from sore

24:24 recovering from jet lag and from sore

24:24 recovering from jet lag and from sore lag and from obviously some crazy stuff

24:25 lag and from obviously some crazy stuff

24:25 lag and from obviously some crazy stuff going on this week my birthday is coming

24:27 going on this week my birthday is coming

24:27 going on this week my birthday is coming up on Friday so then I have a whole

24:29 up on Friday so then I have a whole

24:29 up on Friday so then I have a whole other thing to deal with oh my gosh

24:31 other thing to deal with oh my gosh

24:31 other thing to deal with oh my gosh another

24:32 another

24:32 another birthday so anyway I'm very grateful for

24:35 birthday so anyway I'm very grateful for

24:35 birthday so anyway I'm very grateful for all of you get at me on Twitter Justin

24:37 all of you get at me on Twitter Justin

24:37 all of you get at me on Twitter Justin guard and if you watched all the way to

24:39 guard and if you watched all the way to

24:39 guard and if you watched all the way to the end of this Vlog hash you know tweet

24:42 the end of this Vlog hash you know tweet

24:42 the end of this Vlog hash you know tweet me or something or leave a comment that

24:44 me or something or leave a comment that

24:44 me or something or leave a comment that says alien

24:47 says alien

24:47 says alien slime they'll know what that

24:49 slime they'll know what that

24:49 slime they'll know what that means okay time for me to go home and no

24:53 means okay time for me to go home and no

24:53 means okay time for me to go home and no not go home I got to go to lunch oh my

24:55 not go home I got to go to lunch oh my

24:55 not go home I got to go to lunch oh my gosh there's Sirens everywhere hope

24:57 gosh there's Sirens everywhere hope

24:57 gosh there's Sirens everywhere hope everybody's okay

24:58 everybody's okay

24:58 everybody's okay I hope everybody's okay I hope you're

25:00 I hope everybody's okay I hope you're

25:00 I hope everybody's okay I hope you're okay look at that be by the way just

25:01 okay look at that be by the way just

25:01 okay look at that be by the way just really

25:03 really

25:03 really quick sometimes it's hard to end the

25:04 quick sometimes it's hard to end the

25:04 quick sometimes it's hard to end the Vlog cuz I just want to I just want to

25:06 Vlog cuz I just want to I just want to

25:06 Vlog cuz I just want to I just want to talk to you guys about everything all

25:07 talk to you guys about everything all

25:07 talk to you guys about everything all day I saw ladybug I'm so distracted

25:08 day I saw ladybug I'm so distracted

25:08 day I saw ladybug I'm so distracted something

25:09 something

25:09 something shiny

25:11 shiny

25:11 shiny this look at that just a side note I am

25:15 this look at that just a side note I am

25:15 this look at that just a side note I am really grateful to be back in my own

25:17 really grateful to be back in my own

25:17 really grateful to be back in my own country nothing makes me so patriotic as

25:20 country nothing makes me so patriotic as

25:21 country nothing makes me so patriotic as going to another country looking at how

25:22 going to another country looking at how

25:23 going to another country looking at how it works and talking to people how it

25:24 it works and talking to people how it

25:24 it works and talking to people how it works then coming back to my own country

25:26 works then coming back to my own country

25:26 works then coming back to my own country and being like dang I like this place I

25:28 and being like dang I like this place I

25:28 and being like dang I like this place I understand this place look at that look

25:30 understand this place look at that look

25:30 understand this place look at that look at those flags the United States

25:32 at those flags the United States

25:32 at those flags the United States California the be flag up there yes

25:35 California the be flag up there yes

25:35 California the be flag up there yes remember when we went to the birth of

25:36 remember when we went to the birth of

25:36 remember when we went to the birth of the Bear Republic that gave rise to the

25:38 the Bear Republic that gave rise to the

25:38 the Bear Republic that gave rise to the flag we did that on the Vlog remember we

25:40 flag we did that on the Vlog remember we

25:40 flag we did that on the Vlog remember we did a lot of stuff together and soon

25:43 did a lot of stuff together and soon

25:43 did a lot of stuff together and soon hopefully just in a month or so we will

25:44 hopefully just in a month or so we will

25:44 hopefully just in a month or so we will be going to the birthplace of this flag

25:47 be going to the birthplace of this flag

25:47 be going to the birthplace of this flag or at least well we'll see we'll see I

25:49 or at least well we'll see we'll see I

25:49 or at least well we'll see we'll see I won't give too much away about my plans

25:52 won't give too much away about my plans

25:52 won't give too much away about my plans but anyway I'm just really happy to be

25:53 but anyway I'm just really happy to be

25:53 but anyway I'm just really happy to be home America for all of those of you who

25:56 home America for all of those of you who

25:56 home America for all of those of you who don't live in America just insert your

25:58 don't live in America just insert your

25:58 don't live in America just insert your own flag and pretend I said your country

26:01 own flag and pretend I said your country

26:01 own flag and pretend I said your country but for those of us who live in America

26:03 but for those of us who live in America

26:03 but for those of us who live in America in the United States of America excuse

26:05 in the United States of America excuse

26:05 in the United States of America excuse me sorry Canadians Canadians could touch

26:07 me sorry Canadians Canadians could touch

26:07 me sorry Canadians Canadians could touch you about that isn't it glorious Old

26:10 you about that isn't it glorious Old

26:10 you about that isn't it glorious Old Glory You're a Grand Old Flag you're a

26:13 Glory You're a Grand Old Flag you're a

26:13 Glory You're a Grand Old Flag you're a high flying flag and forever in peace

26:16 high flying flag and forever in peace

26:16 high flying flag and forever in peace may you way you're the emblem of the

26:19 may you way you're the emblem of the

26:19 may you way you're the emblem of the land I love the home of the free and

26:22 land I love the home of the free and

26:22 land I love the home of the free and the okay I got to go I love you all

26:25 the okay I got to go I love you all

26:25 the okay I got to go I love you all goodbye

Transcript