Getting back up

0:03 This is the hardest, most confusing

0:03 This is the hardest, most confusing place I've ever been in my entire life.

0:14 When is it okay

0:14 When is it okay to start living again? Not just when,

0:17 to start living again? Not just when,

0:17 to start living again? Not just when, how

0:18 how

0:18 how do you get up after

0:26 the hardest hit you've ever taken, the

0:26 the hardest hit you've ever taken, the biggest hole ever that's opened in your

0:28 biggest hole ever that's opened in your

0:28 biggest hole ever that's opened in your life? How do you just get back up and

0:30 life? How do you just get back up and

0:30 life? How do you just get back up and just go, "All right,

0:33 just go, "All right,

0:33 just go, "All right, time to get going. Another day."

0:37 time to get going. Another day."

0:37 time to get going. Another day." And the answer is, honestly, I have no

0:39 And the answer is, honestly, I have no

0:39 And the answer is, honestly, I have no idea.

0:46 The only thing I know from 43 years of

0:46 The only thing I know from 43 years of getting knocked down is

0:48 getting knocked down is

0:48 getting knocked down is eventually though, no matter how hard

0:50 eventually though, no matter how hard

0:50 eventually though, no matter how hard the hit,

0:52 the hit,

0:52 the hit, at some point you do have to just

0:56 at some point you do have to just

0:56 at some point you do have to just get back up.

1:02 You got to keep breathing. You got to

1:02 You got to keep breathing. You got to keep walking. You've got to put one foot

1:05 keep walking. You've got to put one foot

1:05 keep walking. You've got to put one foot in front of the other and

1:08 in front of the other and

1:08 in front of the other and just sort of learn how to be again.

1:12 just sort of learn how to be again.

1:12 just sort of learn how to be again. But this one, for whatever reason, this

1:15 But this one, for whatever reason, this

1:15 But this one, for whatever reason, this one is

1:17 one is

1:17 one is really hard.

1:20 really hard.

1:20 really hard. So, I don't know what I'm going to say

1:21 So, I don't know what I'm going to say

1:21 So, I don't know what I'm going to say today. I don't know

1:31 how profound it'll be or how useful,

1:31 how profound it'll be or how useful, but I'm here today at the uh edge of

1:35 but I'm here today at the uh edge of

1:35 but I'm here today at the uh edge of Celebration, Florida to try to figure

1:37 Celebration, Florida to try to figure

1:37 Celebration, Florida to try to figure out just

1:43 how to stand up. On December 22nd, we

1:43 how to stand up. On December 22nd, we lost

1:46 lost

1:46 lost literally the person that changed my

1:48 literally the person that changed my

1:48 literally the person that changed my life the most. The one single person who

1:52 life the most. The one single person who

1:52 life the most. The one single person who has had the biggest impact

1:54 has had the biggest impact

1:54 has had the biggest impact on me,

1:56 on me,

1:56 on me, on the course my life took,

1:59 on the course my life took,

2:00 on the course my life took, the friend that was there guiding me

2:03 the friend that was there guiding me

2:03 the friend that was there guiding me through every other hit and fall and

2:07 through every other hit and fall and

2:07 through every other hit and fall and disaster that I've had for the last 15

2:09 disaster that I've had for the last 15

2:09 disaster that I've had for the last 15 years.

2:18 My friend Adam the Woo, as most people

2:18 My friend Adam the Woo, as most people knew him,

2:20 knew him,

2:20 knew him, passed away here in celebration in his

2:22 passed away here in celebration in his

2:22 passed away here in celebration in his house, in his bed, peacefully in his

2:26 house, in his bed, peacefully in his

2:26 house, in his bed, peacefully in his sleep.

2:28 sleep.

2:28 sleep. [music]

2:38 I think I've got a handle on it. I think

2:38 I think I've got a handle on it. I think I've wrapped my mind around it. And then

2:39 I've wrapped my mind around it. And then

2:39 I've wrapped my mind around it. And then every day I get up and

2:45 like many of the other people close to

2:45 like many of the other people close to him and his friends and

2:49 him and his friends and

2:49 him and his friends and we're just going how how can this be

2:51 we're just going how how can this be

2:51 we're just going how how can this be real? How can this be real? The first

2:54 real? How can this be real? The first

2:54 real? How can this be real? The first few days,

2:57 few days,

2:57 few days, well the first day was all about trying

2:59 well the first day was all about trying

2:59 well the first day was all about trying to contact as many of his friends as I

3:01 to contact as many of his friends as I

3:02 to contact as many of his friends as I could get a hold of before the news

3:03 could get a hold of before the news

3:03 could get a hold of before the news started to really break. making sure his

3:06 started to really break. making sure his

3:06 started to really break. making sure his family knew

3:12 and then

3:12 and then seeing all the rumors and comments

3:14 seeing all the rumors and comments

3:14 seeing all the rumors and comments online and things just because of

3:18 online and things just because of

3:18 online and things just because of police being at the house here and

3:20 police being at the house here and

3:20 police being at the house here and things and needing to break the news

3:22 things and needing to break the news

3:22 things and needing to break the news from somebody people recognized and

3:24 from somebody people recognized and

3:24 from somebody people recognized and trusted

3:33 and that was hard. That's really hard

3:33 and that was hard. That's really hard trying to ignore calls from People

3:35 trying to ignore calls from People

3:35 trying to ignore calls from People magazine and weird stuff. Just the

3:37 magazine and weird stuff. Just the

3:37 magazine and weird stuff. Just the craziest thing.

3:39 craziest thing.

3:39 craziest thing. Shock and disbelief. And then it was

3:41 Shock and disbelief. And then it was

3:41 Shock and disbelief. And then it was just weeping. I mean uncontrollable,

3:43 just weeping. I mean uncontrollable,

3:43 just weeping. I mean uncontrollable, horrible. Um

3:45 horrible. Um

3:46 horrible. Um I'm talking out of control. Just

3:49 I'm talking out of control. Just

3:49 I'm talking out of control. Just complete devastation. But there were a

3:52 complete devastation. But there were a

3:52 complete devastation. But there were a lot of people to get a hold of.

3:55 lot of people to get a hold of.

3:55 lot of people to get a hold of. his friends, his family.

4:02 There was the weirdest, most surreal

4:02 There was the weirdest, most surreal Christmas holiday to get through.

4:04 Christmas holiday to get through.

4:04 Christmas holiday to get through. And I just kept telling myself, "All

4:06 And I just kept telling myself, "All

4:06 And I just kept telling myself, "All right, I'll be on a plane to Florida

4:07 right, I'll be on a plane to Florida

4:07 right, I'll be on a plane to Florida soon. I'll be on a plane and we'll

4:09 soon. I'll be on a plane and we'll

4:09 soon. I'll be on a plane and we'll figure it out, right? We'll figure it

4:11 figure it out, right? We'll figure it

4:11 figure it out, right? We'll figure it out. We'll find all the things to do and

4:13 out. We'll find all the things to do and

4:13 out. We'll find all the things to do and then somehow it'll be okay. It'll be all

4:15 then somehow it'll be okay. It'll be all

4:15 then somehow it'll be okay. It'll be all right." You know, because we were close,

4:18 right." You know, because we were close,

4:18 right." You know, because we were close, there was information I had to relay to

4:19 there was information I had to relay to

4:19 there was information I had to relay to the family. Like I said, there were

4:21 the family. Like I said, there were

4:21 the family. Like I said, there were people to call.

4:23 people to call.

4:23 people to call. I got here to Florida. Um, just before

4:26 I got here to Florida. Um, just before

4:26 I got here to Florida. Um, just before New Year's Eve,

4:29 New Year's Eve,

4:30 New Year's Eve, I landed. I checked into a hotel. Okay,

4:32 I landed. I checked into a hotel. Okay,

4:32 I landed. I checked into a hotel. Okay, busy, busy.

4:34 busy, busy.

4:34 busy, busy. And then I kind of thought to myself, I

4:35 And then I kind of thought to myself, I

4:35 And then I kind of thought to myself, I knew people were coming by the house

4:36 knew people were coming by the house

4:36 knew people were coming by the house here and leaving flowers and things. And

4:39 here and leaving flowers and things. And

4:39 here and leaving flowers and things. And they had been coming all day, every day,

4:42 they had been coming all day, every day,

4:42 they had been coming all day, every day, even at night.

4:44 even at night.

4:44 even at night. And I kind of thought, I maybe I should

4:46 And I kind of thought, I maybe I should

4:46 And I kind of thought, I maybe I should go there first by myself before I have

4:48 go there first by myself before I have

4:48 go there first by myself before I have to be there with other people.

4:50 to be there with other people.

4:50 to be there with other people. And um it turns out that was a good call

4:53 And um it turns out that was a good call

4:53 And um it turns out that was a good call because

4:55 because

4:55 because when I got to the house maybe I don't

4:57 when I got to the house maybe I don't

4:57 when I got to the house maybe I don't know 2:30 in the morning or something I

4:59 know 2:30 in the morning or something I

4:59 know 2:30 in the morning or something I just lost it. I mean I just

5:02 just lost it. I mean I just

5:02 just lost it. I mean I just had kind of a mental break. I my brain

5:06 had kind of a mental break. I my brain

5:06 had kind of a mental break. I my brain could not understand that he wasn't just

5:08 could not understand that he wasn't just

5:08 could not understand that he wasn't just going to open the door and come out. you

5:10 going to open the door and come out. you

5:10 going to open the door and come out. you know, there were all these flowers and

5:11 know, there were all these flowers and

5:11 know, there were all these flowers and the coffee cups, little trinkets and

5:15 the coffee cups, little trinkets and

5:15 the coffee cups, little trinkets and candles and whatever else outside and

5:19 candles and whatever else outside and

5:19 candles and whatever else outside and I just could not I just the full force

5:22 I just could not I just the full force

5:22 I just could not I just the full force of it really hit me. Um, when I say

5:26 of it really hit me. Um, when I say

5:26 of it really hit me. Um, when I say mental breakdown, I'm talking like

5:28 mental breakdown, I'm talking like

5:28 mental breakdown, I'm talking like screaming and crying in the street by

5:31 screaming and crying in the street by

5:31 screaming and crying in the street by myself on my knees just why

5:36 myself on my knees just why

5:36 myself on my knees just why um

5:42 saying things to him, God, the universe

5:42 saying things to him, God, the universe are just really losing it. Right in the

5:44 are just really losing it. Right in the

5:44 are just really losing it. Right in the middle of that, got to picture the

5:47 middle of that, got to picture the

5:47 middle of that, got to picture the street at 2:30 in the morning,

5:48 street at 2:30 in the morning,

5:48 street at 2:30 in the morning, sprinklers going off. I'm on my knees

5:49 sprinklers going off. I'm on my knees

5:49 sprinklers going off. I'm on my knees sobbing. Just some guy comes riding by

5:52 sobbing. Just some guy comes riding by

5:52 sobbing. Just some guy comes riding by on a bike. Just what the heck?

5:56 on a bike. Just what the heck?

5:56 on a bike. Just what the heck? I had to laugh a little. I just went,

5:59 I had to laugh a little. I just went,

5:59 I had to laugh a little. I just went, "Okay." Caught my breath. Okay, get up.

6:04 "Okay." Caught my breath. Okay, get up.

6:04 "Okay." Caught my breath. Okay, get up. Not going to do anybody any help by

6:06 Not going to do anybody any help by

6:06 Not going to do anybody any help by losing your mind

6:08 losing your mind

6:08 losing your mind in the street.

6:11 in the street.

6:11 in the street. So, that was shock number one. Then of

6:14 So, that was shock number one. Then of

6:14 So, that was shock number one. Then of course

6:16 course

6:16 course making contact the next day with Adam's

6:19 making contact the next day with Adam's

6:19 making contact the next day with Adam's closest friends and um sister and his

6:22 closest friends and um sister and his

6:22 closest friends and um sister and his parents who just I came here to to try

6:25 parents who just I came here to to try

6:25 parents who just I came here to to try to do everything I could for them and

6:27 to do everything I could for them and

6:27 to do everything I could for them and they ended up helping me

6:31 they ended up helping me

6:32 they ended up helping me so much more than I think I could have

6:33 so much more than I think I could have

6:33 so much more than I think I could have ever helped them. um

6:36 ever helped them. um

6:36 ever helped them. um obviously horrible for them and

6:39 obviously horrible for them and

6:39 obviously horrible for them and terrible for their whole family, but

6:42 terrible for their whole family, but

6:42 terrible for their whole family, but um they're so strong, just so strong.

6:45 um they're so strong, just so strong.

6:45 um they're so strong, just so strong. There's so much faith and um they've

6:49 There's so much faith and um they've

6:49 There's so much faith and um they've been lifting up all Adam's other friends

6:51 been lifting up all Adam's other friends

6:51 been lifting up all Adam's other friends and everybody. It's it's incredible. But

6:53 and everybody. It's it's incredible. But

6:53 and everybody. It's it's incredible. But there was a lot to do. A lot to do. A

6:55 there was a lot to do. A lot to do. A

6:55 there was a lot to do. A lot to do. A lot of people to contact, a lot of

6:57 lot of people to contact, a lot of

6:57 lot of people to contact, a lot of decisions to be made, mostly by them,

7:00 decisions to be made, mostly by them,

7:00 decisions to be made, mostly by them, but for me and some of his other friends

7:02 but for me and some of his other friends

7:02 but for me and some of his other friends to to be supportive and kind of walk

7:05 to to be supportive and kind of walk

7:05 to to be supportive and kind of walk them through what we could. There's

7:06 them through what we could. There's

7:06 them through what we could. There's things that I knew that other people

7:08 things that I knew that other people

7:08 things that I knew that other people didn't, things some of his other friends

7:09 didn't, things some of his other friends

7:09 didn't, things some of his other friends knew that other people didn't. Everybody

7:11 knew that other people didn't. Everybody

7:11 knew that other people didn't. Everybody had a little piece to the puzzle.

7:14 had a little piece to the puzzle.

7:14 had a little piece to the puzzle. There were things to clean, things to

7:15 There were things to clean, things to

7:15 There were things to clean, things to move around.

7:17 move around.

7:17 move around. Like I said, people to contact, get a

7:18 Like I said, people to contact, get a

7:18 Like I said, people to contact, get a hold of, see when they're coming in,

7:20 hold of, see when they're coming in,

7:20 hold of, see when they're coming in, things to schedule. being in the house

7:22 things to schedule. being in the house

7:22 things to schedule. being in the house with his family

7:25 with his family

7:25 with his family at least felt like he was close. I don't

7:27 at least felt like he was close. I don't

7:27 at least felt like he was close. I don't know how to explain that and with his

7:29 know how to explain that and with his

7:29 know how to explain that and with his other friends when we could get together

7:31 other friends when we could get together

7:31 other friends when we could get together and talk there'd be little periods where

7:33 and talk there'd be little periods where

7:33 and talk there'd be little periods where you wouldn't just be crying.

7:35 you wouldn't just be crying.

7:36 you wouldn't just be crying. You could almost feel him there or

7:37 You could almost feel him there or

7:37 You could almost feel him there or something like you're telling stories or

7:39 something like you're telling stories or

7:39 something like you're telling stories or laughing. You can't help but laugh if

7:41 laughing. You can't help but laugh if

7:41 laughing. You can't help but laugh if you knew Adam at all. Even just through

7:43 you knew Adam at all. Even just through

7:43 you knew Adam at all. Even just through the videos, he was so funny. He's like

7:45 the videos, he was so funny. He's like

7:45 the videos, he was so funny. He's like the funniest person ever. In real life,

7:48 the funniest person ever. In real life,

7:48 the funniest person ever. In real life, if you were sad, if you were distressed,

7:50 if you were sad, if you were distressed,

7:50 if you were sad, if you were distressed, not only did he care and you always felt

7:51 not only did he care and you always felt

7:51 not only did he care and you always felt that he cared, he was always there for

7:54 that he cared, he was always there for

7:54 that he cared, he was always there for good advice and all those things, but

7:55 good advice and all those things, but

7:55 good advice and all those things, but he'd be the first one to try and change

7:56 he'd be the first one to try and change

7:56 he'd be the first one to try and change the subject or point out the funny thing

7:58 the subject or point out the funny thing

7:58 the subject or point out the funny thing that would break the sorrow or something

8:01 that would break the sorrow or something

8:01 that would break the sorrow or something and let you start laughing. And so when

8:02 and let you start laughing. And so when

8:02 and let you start laughing. And so when you're around his friends and you're

8:04 you're around his friends and you're

8:04 you're around his friends and you're telling funny stories again, like, darn

8:05 telling funny stories again, like, darn

8:05 telling funny stories again, like, darn it, you know, and

8:08 it, you know, and

8:08 it, you know, and it did feel better. And it felt better

8:09 it did feel better. And it felt better

8:09 it did feel better. And it felt better that there was stuff to do, keep doing.

8:11 that there was stuff to do, keep doing.

8:11 that there was stuff to do, keep doing. All right, we got all this stuff to do

8:13 All right, we got all this stuff to do

8:13 All right, we got all this stuff to do and people to contact. And [snorts]

8:16 and people to contact. And [snorts]

8:16 and people to contact. And [snorts] because so many people loved him around

8:17 because so many people loved him around

8:17 because so many people loved him around the entire world, obviously he want to

8:19 the entire world, obviously he want to

8:19 the entire world, obviously he want to help protect his family and kind of

8:21 help protect his family and kind of

8:21 help protect his family and kind of deflect some of the attention a little

8:23 deflect some of the attention a little

8:23 deflect some of the attention a little bit because they needed space and time.

8:26 bit because they needed space and time.

8:26 bit because they needed space and time. He always tried to protect them

8:28 He always tried to protect them

8:28 He always tried to protect them [laughter]

8:29 [laughter]

8:29 [laughter] just from the sheer force of uh the

8:32 just from the sheer force of uh the

8:32 just from the sheer force of uh the internet out there and the just the

8:34 internet out there and the just the

8:34 internet out there and the just the number of people who who wanted at him

8:36 number of people who who wanted at him

8:36 number of people who who wanted at him all the time. And you can just imagine

8:38 all the time. And you can just imagine

8:38 all the time. And you can just imagine with him gone just the floodgates being

8:40 with him gone just the floodgates being

8:40 with him gone just the floodgates being down and so many people mostly pouring

8:43 down and so many people mostly pouring

8:43 down and so many people mostly pouring out love and sympathy and everything

8:44 out love and sympathy and everything

8:44 out love and sympathy and everything else but just just an overwhelming

8:46 else but just just an overwhelming

8:46 else but just just an overwhelming amount. Overwhelming is the best word.

8:48 amount. Overwhelming is the best word.

8:48 amount. Overwhelming is the best word. And because Adam was so private about um

8:51 And because Adam was so private about um

8:51 And because Adam was so private about um anything I mean if you if you live your

8:53 anything I mean if you if you live your

8:53 anything I mean if you if you live your life giving the best part of your life

8:55 life giving the best part of your life

8:55 life giving the best part of your life to the whole world,

8:57 to the whole world,

8:57 to the whole world, you naturally have to set some

8:58 you naturally have to set some

8:58 you naturally have to set some boundaries and force fields just to keep

9:00 boundaries and force fields just to keep

9:00 boundaries and force fields just to keep keep a part of yourself private for your

9:02 keep a part of yourself private for your

9:02 keep a part of yourself private for your own sanity. And he was very stubborn in

9:05 own sanity. And he was very stubborn in

9:05 own sanity. And he was very stubborn in particular about who could say what

9:07 particular about who could say what

9:07 particular about who could say what about him when

9:09 about him when

9:09 about him when and um we all have that feeling like oh

9:11 and um we all have that feeling like oh

9:12 and um we all have that feeling like oh god what do we say what do we say to the

9:13 god what do we say what do we say to the

9:13 god what do we say what do we say to the world what do we say to anybody

9:16 world what do we say to anybody

9:16 world what do we say to anybody you know are we still on Adam rules here

9:18 you know are we still on Adam rules here

9:18 you know are we still on Adam rules here kind of thing and what do we say to

9:20 kind of thing and what do we say to

9:20 kind of thing and what do we say to protect his family's privacy right now

9:22 protect his family's privacy right now

9:22 protect his family's privacy right now anyway it's all very very confusing and

9:25 anyway it's all very very confusing and

9:25 anyway it's all very very confusing and of course me and some of his other

9:26 of course me and some of his other

9:26 of course me and some of his other friends wanted to do our best to to

9:29 friends wanted to do our best to to

9:29 friends wanted to do our best to to relay messages and um and updates which

9:32 relay messages and um and updates which

9:32 relay messages and um and updates which I mostly did on Facebook cuz I got to be

9:34 I mostly did on Facebook cuz I got to be

9:34 I mostly did on Facebook cuz I got to be honest with you, picking up a camera was

9:35 honest with you, picking up a camera was

9:35 honest with you, picking up a camera was like impossible. I don't know how I got

9:37 like impossible. I don't know how I got

9:37 like impossible. I don't know how I got through those other um videos in

9:40 through those other um videos in

9:40 through those other um videos in California.

9:42 California.

9:42 California. But every time I touched the thing here,

9:44 But every time I touched the thing here,

9:44 But every time I touched the thing here, all I could think of is Adam and I just

9:47 all I could think of is Adam and I just

9:47 all I could think of is Adam and I just break down. So just by Facebook or

9:49 break down. So just by Facebook or

9:49 break down. So just by Facebook or whatever, just trying to

9:51 whatever, just trying to

9:51 whatever, just trying to keep people in the loop as much as we

9:53 keep people in the loop as much as we

9:53 keep people in the loop as much as we could because we know that there's

9:54 could because we know that there's

9:54 could because we know that there's literally thousands and thousands of

9:56 literally thousands and thousands of

9:56 literally thousands and thousands of people who cared so much about our

9:58 people who cared so much about our

9:58 people who cared so much about our friend and um and we all felt bad for

10:00 friend and um and we all felt bad for

10:00 friend and um and we all felt bad for them, especially his parents felt really

10:02 them, especially his parents felt really

10:02 them, especially his parents felt really bad for them and his family does care.

10:05 bad for them and his family does care.

10:05 bad for them and his family does care. His dad posted something today on his

10:07 His dad posted something today on his

10:07 His dad posted something today on his channel, JWW on the Move, [snorts]

10:10 channel, JWW on the Move, [snorts]

10:10 channel, JWW on the Move, [snorts] expressing that very thing. In fact, I

10:12 expressing that very thing. In fact, I

10:12 expressing that very thing. In fact, I really highly encourage you to go watch

10:14 really highly encourage you to go watch

10:14 really highly encourage you to go watch it. talked about how he found out and

10:17 it. talked about how he found out and

10:17 it. talked about how he found out and how his family's dealing with it and it

10:19 how his family's dealing with it and it

10:19 how his family's dealing with it and it was really beautiful and that honestly

10:21 was really beautiful and that honestly

10:21 was really beautiful and that honestly that inspired me that like I got to get

10:23 that inspired me that like I got to get

10:23 that inspired me that like I got to get up. I got to get back up. I know

10:27 up. I got to get back up. I know

10:27 up. I got to get back up. I know 100,000%

10:28 100,000%

10:28 100,000% Adam would it be grumpy that I hadn't

10:31 Adam would it be grumpy that I hadn't

10:31 Adam would it be grumpy that I hadn't already got up and started filming

10:33 already got up and started filming

10:33 already got up and started filming something again, you know. Anyway, we

10:35 something again, you know. Anyway, we

10:35 something again, you know. Anyway, we reached a point where um all the for now

10:38 reached a point where um all the for now

10:38 reached a point where um all the for now decisions had been made, arrangements

10:41 decisions had been made, arrangements

10:41 decisions had been made, arrangements had been made, then it's a matter of

10:43 had been made, then it's a matter of

10:43 had been made, then it's a matter of calling everybody and getting everybody

10:45 calling everybody and getting everybody

10:45 calling everybody and getting everybody that you could here,

10:47 that you could here,

10:47 that you could here, scheduling and everything else.

10:50 scheduling and everything else.

10:50 scheduling and everything else. Then there came this lull, this point

10:52 Then there came this lull, this point

10:52 Then there came this lull, this point where there was nothing to do anymore.

10:54 where there was nothing to do anymore.

10:54 where there was nothing to do anymore. We contacted everybody. We'd cleaned up

10:57 We contacted everybody. We'd cleaned up

10:57 We contacted everybody. We'd cleaned up the porch for celebration. celebration

11:00 the porch for celebration. celebration

11:00 the porch for celebration. celebration was actually really cool about letting

11:02 was actually really cool about letting

11:02 was actually really cool about letting us

11:03 us

11:03 us leave that stuff out there and letting

11:05 leave that stuff out there and letting

11:05 leave that stuff out there and letting people come and leave all that, you

11:06 people come and leave all that, you

11:06 people come and leave all that, you know, trinkets and flowers. But at some

11:09 know, trinkets and flowers. But at some

11:09 know, trinkets and flowers. But at some point, you know, those little coffee

11:11 point, you know, those little coffee

11:11 point, you know, those little coffee cups had to be poured out, which again

11:13 cups had to be poured out, which again

11:13 cups had to be poured out, which again was great. You have Adam's family out

11:15 was great. You have Adam's family out

11:15 was great. You have Adam's family out there and cleaning up nasty coffee cups

11:17 there and cleaning up nasty coffee cups

11:17 there and cleaning up nasty coffee cups and

11:19 and

11:19 and flowers full of water from the

11:20 flowers full of water from the

11:20 flowers full of water from the sprinklers and and laughing and crying.

11:22 sprinklers and and laughing and crying.

11:22 sprinklers and and laughing and crying. And anyway, at some point there came a

11:25 And anyway, at some point there came a

11:25 And anyway, at some point there came a lull where there just wasn't anything

11:26 lull where there just wasn't anything

11:26 lull where there just wasn't anything else to do. And then once again, the the

11:28 else to do. And then once again, the the

11:28 else to do. And then once again, the the shock and the

11:32 shock and the

11:32 shock and the just the sense of of what's been lost

11:36 just the sense of of what's been lost

11:36 just the sense of of what's been lost um hits you. And

11:40 um hits you. And

11:40 um hits you. And I honestly thought I had a little bit of

11:42 I honestly thought I had a little bit of

11:42 I honestly thought I had a little bit of a handle on it, like, okay, it's going

11:44 a handle on it, like, okay, it's going

11:44 a handle on it, like, okay, it's going to be all right. Like I said, there was

11:45 to be all right. Like I said, there was

11:45 to be all right. Like I said, there was a lot to do. I was trying to worry about

11:47 a lot to do. I was trying to worry about

11:47 a lot to do. I was trying to worry about everybody else as much as I could.

11:54 I want to say, too, that from the

11:54 I want to say, too, that from the beginning, I knew Adam was okay.

11:59 you know, if we're talking soul and

11:59 you know, if we're talking soul and body, I knew his soul, his spirit, Adam

12:03 body, I knew his soul, his spirit, Adam

12:03 body, I knew his soul, his spirit, Adam was was gone, but he was all right. Um,

12:08 was was gone, but he was all right. Um,

12:08 was was gone, but he was all right. Um, then the day came to uh

12:11 then the day came to uh

12:11 then the day came to uh to help lay my friend to rest. And um I

12:14 to help lay my friend to rest. And um I

12:14 to help lay my friend to rest. And um I wore this shirt,

12:16 wore this shirt,

12:16 wore this shirt, [snorts] an appropriate shirt, and uh

12:18 [snorts] an appropriate shirt, and uh

12:18 [snorts] an appropriate shirt, and uh we're not going to talk about details of

12:19 we're not going to talk about details of

12:20 we're not going to talk about details of that day for a long time. Just for a

12:23 that day for a long time. Just for a

12:23 that day for a long time. Just for a long time. Um I don't think I can

12:27 long time. Um I don't think I can

12:27 long time. Um I don't think I can Suffice to say, the day came to uh

12:30 Suffice to say, the day came to uh

12:30 Suffice to say, the day came to uh to lay my friend to rest and I lost it.

12:41 I lost it. And uh once again, I wanted

12:41 I lost it. And uh once again, I wanted to be there to

12:43 to be there to

12:43 to be there to help lift his friends up and especially

12:45 help lift his friends up and especially

12:45 help lift his friends up and especially his family. And I felt like they were

12:46 his family. And I felt like they were

12:46 his family. And I felt like they were all lifting me up. Um,

12:51 all lifting me up. Um,

12:51 all lifting me up. Um, but I'll tell you, it was the first time

12:54 but I'll tell you, it was the first time

12:54 but I'll tell you, it was the first time I felt like I could breathe afterwards.

12:58 I felt like I could breathe afterwards.

12:58 I felt like I could breathe afterwards. There was something about um his body

13:02 There was something about um his body

13:02 There was something about um his body being in the ground and laid to rest

13:06 being in the ground and laid to rest

13:06 being in the ground and laid to rest that felt more complete like um

13:11 that felt more complete like um

13:11 that felt more complete like um like Adam's okay. He's not here. He's

13:14 like Adam's okay. He's not here. He's

13:14 like Adam's okay. He's not here. He's okay. and now no one can hurt him

13:17 okay. and now no one can hurt him

13:17 okay. and now no one can hurt him anymore. Um,

13:24 he's all right. And then of course comes

13:24 he's all right. And then of course comes another whole wave of just uh

13:28 another whole wave of just uh

13:28 another whole wave of just uh shock almost numbness. You know, a lot

13:31 shock almost numbness. You know, a lot

13:31 shock almost numbness. You know, a lot of his friends were out here and um

13:36 of his friends were out here and um

13:36 of his friends were out here and um everybody grieavves in a different way

13:38 everybody grieavves in a different way

13:38 everybody grieavves in a different way and so there were different dinners or

13:40 and so there were different dinners or

13:40 and so there were different dinners or you know people wanted to go to to the

13:42 you know people wanted to go to to the

13:42 you know people wanted to go to to the parks. If you ever been to a funeral,

13:44 parks. If you ever been to a funeral,

13:44 parks. If you ever been to a funeral, you know, every every wake is different.

13:45 you know, every every wake is different.

13:45 you know, every every wake is different. Some people you get together and you cry

13:48 Some people you get together and you cry

13:48 Some people you get together and you cry all day. Some people go and have drinks

13:51 all day. Some people go and have drinks

13:51 all day. Some people go and have drinks or have a party.

13:54 or have a party.

13:54 or have a party. So, there's a lot of different ways

13:55 So, there's a lot of different ways

13:55 So, there's a lot of different ways people were trying to celebrate. And I

13:56 people were trying to celebrate. And I

13:56 people were trying to celebrate. And I was trying to

13:59 was trying to

13:59 was trying to be out here with a lot of his friends,

14:01 be out here with a lot of his friends,

14:01 be out here with a lot of his friends, get coffee, walk around. Some of his

14:04 get coffee, walk around. Some of his

14:04 get coffee, walk around. Some of his friends were going to the parks over the

14:05 friends were going to the parks over the

14:06 friends were going to the parks over the next couple days. Honestly, every step

14:07 next couple days. Honestly, every step

14:07 next couple days. Honestly, every step of that, everywhere I went, it was the

14:09 of that, everywhere I went, it was the

14:09 of that, everywhere I went, it was the last place I wanted to be.

14:12 last place I wanted to be.

14:12 last place I wanted to be. But I realized that um sitting in a

14:15 But I realized that um sitting in a

14:15 But I realized that um sitting in a hotel room crying doesn't help anyone.

14:20 hotel room crying doesn't help anyone.

14:20 hotel room crying doesn't help anyone. And I also realized right away that uh

14:24 And I also realized right away that uh

14:24 And I also realized right away that uh that Adam is okay. There's nothing else

14:26 that Adam is okay. There's nothing else

14:26 that Adam is okay. There's nothing else I could do for him now

14:29 I could do for him now

14:29 I could do for him now once we

14:32 once we

14:32 once we laid him down.

14:35 laid him down.

14:36 laid him down. That was that.

14:38 That was that.

14:38 That was that. But the only thing that we could do for

14:39 But the only thing that we could do for

14:40 But the only thing that we could do for Adam

14:42 Adam

14:42 Adam is to sort of carry each other. You know

14:44 is to sort of carry each other. You know

14:44 is to sort of carry each other. You know what I mean? And that will be um for his

14:46 what I mean? And that will be um for his

14:46 what I mean? And that will be um for his family, for his friends, that'll be an

14:48 family, for his friends, that'll be an

14:48 family, for his friends, that'll be an ongoing

14:49 ongoing

14:49 ongoing process.

14:52 process.

14:52 process. I honestly kind of thought that maybe

14:53 I honestly kind of thought that maybe

14:53 I honestly kind of thought that maybe after the um the burial and everything

14:56 after the um the burial and everything

14:56 after the um the burial and everything that I was like, "Oh, you know, I'll be

14:58 that I was like, "Oh, you know, I'll be

14:58 that I was like, "Oh, you know, I'll be all right. I [snorts]

15:01 all right. I [snorts]

15:01 all right. I [snorts] maybe I'll go out and uh make a video

15:03 maybe I'll go out and uh make a video

15:03 maybe I'll go out and uh make a video about how I met Adam or something. Maybe

15:06 about how I met Adam or something. Maybe

15:06 about how I met Adam or something. Maybe that'll be a little therapeutic." and

15:08 that'll be a little therapeutic." and

15:08 that'll be a little therapeutic." and yeah, I'll be okay. And just every day I

15:10 yeah, I'll be okay. And just every day I

15:10 yeah, I'll be okay. And just every day I just have not just not been okay. I just

15:13 just have not just not been okay. I just

15:13 just have not just not been okay. I just haven't. And that's all right, you know.

15:15 haven't. And that's all right, you know.

15:15 haven't. And that's all right, you know. Um I will be eventually.

15:18 Um I will be eventually.

15:18 Um I will be eventually. I'm never going to not miss him.

15:21 I'm never going to not miss him.

15:21 I'm never going to not miss him. It's never going to not hurt when I

15:23 It's never going to not hurt when I

15:23 It's never going to not hurt when I think about him.

15:26 think about him.

15:26 think about him. It has been better since he's laid to

15:29 It has been better since he's laid to

15:29 It has been better since he's laid to rest that

15:31 rest that

15:31 rest that I feel more permission kind of to to

15:34 I feel more permission kind of to to

15:34 I feel more permission kind of to to remember good things and burning good

15:35 remember good things and burning good

15:36 remember good things and burning good things

15:37 things

15:37 things and celebrate him

15:40 and celebrate him

15:40 and celebrate him um more than I just well I'm trying and

15:44 um more than I just well I'm trying and

15:44 um more than I just well I'm trying and not just grieve him not just grieve and

15:46 not just grieve him not just grieve and

15:46 not just grieve him not just grieve and weep. Um there's still going to be a lot

15:48 weep. Um there's still going to be a lot

15:48 weep. Um there's still going to be a lot of weeping to do and a lot of comforting

15:50 of weeping to do and a lot of comforting

15:50 of weeping to do and a lot of comforting to do.

15:52 to do.

15:52 to do. I tried as much as I could to

15:55 I tried as much as I could to

15:55 I tried as much as I could to I don't know just be there for all these

15:56 I don't know just be there for all these

15:56 I don't know just be there for all these people who have just been so hurt by

15:58 people who have just been so hurt by

15:58 people who have just been so hurt by this happening and the hole that's left

16:01 this happening and the hole that's left

16:01 this happening and the hole that's left behind. And I'm not even just talking

16:03 behind. And I'm not even just talking

16:03 behind. And I'm not even just talking about people who knew Adam in real life.

16:05 about people who knew Adam in real life.

16:05 about people who knew Adam in real life. People who just had his videos as part

16:08 People who just had his videos as part

16:08 People who just had his videos as part of their life. He changed so many lives

16:10 of their life. He changed so many lives

16:10 of their life. He changed so many lives and touched so many people.

16:14 and touched so many people.

16:14 and touched so many people. It's actually been amazing. I mean,

16:16 It's actually been amazing. I mean,

16:16 It's actually been amazing. I mean, bittersweet, but amazing to to hear

16:19 bittersweet, but amazing to to hear

16:19 bittersweet, but amazing to to hear stories, thousands and thousands of

16:21 stories, thousands and thousands of

16:21 stories, thousands and thousands of stories of

16:23 stories of

16:23 stories of just what he meant to people, just by

16:25 just what he meant to people, just by

16:25 just what he meant to people, just by showing up, being kind,

16:28 showing up, being kind,

16:28 showing up, being kind, trying to see the world with um with

16:32 trying to see the world with um with

16:32 trying to see the world with um with wonder and hope and uh turning even the

16:35 wonder and hope and uh turning even the

16:35 wonder and hope and uh turning even the most mundane thing possible into an

16:38 most mundane thing possible into an

16:38 most mundane thing possible into an adventure.

16:43 I've tried to think a lot about like an

16:43 I've tried to think a lot about like an analogy for what Adam was in my life. He

16:45 analogy for what Adam was in my life. He

16:46 analogy for what Adam was in my life. He wore a lot of hats. That's what made

16:47 wore a lot of hats. That's what made

16:47 wore a lot of hats. That's what made this so hard at first is like it's not

16:50 this so hard at first is like it's not

16:50 this so hard at first is like it's not just a friend. It's not just like a

16:52 just a friend. It's not just like a

16:52 just a friend. It's not just like a brother. [snorts]

16:54 brother. [snorts]

16:54 brother. [snorts] You know, my whole at some point I'll be

16:56 You know, my whole at some point I'll be

16:56 You know, my whole at some point I'll be able to tell you the whole story, but

16:58 able to tell you the whole story, but

16:58 able to tell you the whole story, but just I would not have literally the life

17:01 just I would not have literally the life

17:01 just I would not have literally the life that I have, the wife that I have, the

17:03 that I have, the wife that I have, the

17:03 that I have, the wife that I have, the job that I have,

17:06 job that I have,

17:06 job that I have, none of it without him. None of it.

17:12 and hearing all these stories, people

17:12 and hearing all these stories, people that met each other because of him, who

17:13 that met each other because of him, who

17:13 that met each other because of him, who were married and have kids, literally

17:16 were married and have kids, literally

17:16 were married and have kids, literally people who started channels or were

17:18 people who started channels or were

17:18 people who started channels or were encouraged to do their art thing or make

17:20 encouraged to do their art thing or make

17:20 encouraged to do their art thing or make films or

17:22 films or

17:22 films or just that thing gave them strength to go

17:25 just that thing gave them strength to go

17:25 just that thing gave them strength to go the videos. I mean, gave them strength

17:27 the videos. I mean, gave them strength

17:27 the videos. I mean, gave them strength to go through their daily routine

17:30 to go through their daily routine

17:30 to go through their daily routine and look at the world a little bit

17:32 and look at the world a little bit

17:32 and look at the world a little bit differently, slow down and take in

17:33 differently, slow down and take in

17:34 differently, slow down and take in little things, go on trips.

17:38 little things, go on trips.

17:38 little things, go on trips. the impact that that he has just

17:41 the impact that that he has just

17:41 the impact that that he has just amazing.

17:43 amazing.

17:43 amazing. And speaking as somebody a little bit on

17:45 And speaking as somebody a little bit on

17:45 And speaking as somebody a little bit on the inside with him, you know, we came

17:48 the inside with him, you know, we came

17:48 the inside with him, you know, we came from absolutely nothing together. Just

17:51 from absolutely nothing together. Just

17:51 from absolutely nothing together. Just two idiots.

17:57 We used to joke like we're losers with

17:57 We used to joke like we're losers with the tattoos. [snorts]

17:59 the tattoos. [snorts]

18:00 the tattoos. [snorts] uh

18:05 having adventures, doing all these

18:05 having adventures, doing all these things, kind of navigating it all

18:07 things, kind of navigating it all

18:07 things, kind of navigating it all together. And as he became Adam the woo,

18:09 together. And as he became Adam the woo,

18:09 together. And as he became Adam the woo, I think I said this before, but I don't

18:11 I think I said this before, but I don't

18:11 I think I said this before, but I don't know what I've said and not said.

18:12 know what I've said and not said.

18:12 know what I've said and not said. [snorts]

18:16 You know, we always try and put our

18:16 You know, we always try and put our heads down. Adam especially, just stay

18:20 heads down. Adam especially, just stay

18:20 heads down. Adam especially, just stay humble.

18:21 humble.

18:21 humble. Don't read all this stuff. People I love

18:23 Don't read all this stuff. People I love

18:23 Don't read all this stuff. People I love you and you know, you're so great. Don't

18:25 you and you know, you're so great. Don't

18:25 you and you know, you're so great. Don't just nah, just keep going. Just keep

18:27 just nah, just keep going. Just keep

18:27 just nah, just keep going. Just keep trucking. keep your head down,

18:30 trucking. keep your head down,

18:30 trucking. keep your head down, work hard, and be nice to people. And so

18:32 work hard, and be nice to people. And so

18:32 work hard, and be nice to people. And so I know for a fact he had no idea

18:37 I know for a fact he had no idea

18:37 I know for a fact he had no idea just how farreaching

18:41 just how farreaching

18:41 just how farreaching not only was his influence, but I

18:43 not only was his influence, but I

18:43 not only was his influence, but I [snorts] I know that he had no idea

18:47 [snorts] I know that he had no idea

18:47 [snorts] I know that he had no idea just how many people's hearts he touched

18:50 just how many people's hearts he touched

18:50 just how many people's hearts he touched that deeply.

18:57 I mean, he he knows now, you know, but

18:57 I mean, he he knows now, you know, but um it's just been amazing.

19:00 um it's just been amazing.

19:00 um it's just been amazing. And so anyway, I've been trying to uh

19:04 And so anyway, I've been trying to uh

19:04 And so anyway, I've been trying to uh to burn in my own good memories and um

19:07 to burn in my own good memories and um

19:07 to burn in my own good memories and um just little things I don't want to

19:09 just little things I don't want to

19:09 just little things I don't want to forget, you know. And um

19:19 and now he's laid to rest. He's um he's

19:19 and now he's laid to rest. He's um he's okay. uh

19:22 okay. uh

19:22 okay. uh his family's trying to figure out

19:25 his family's trying to figure out

19:26 his family's trying to figure out how to move forward in their grieving

19:27 how to move forward in their grieving

19:28 how to move forward in their grieving process and their with their lives.

19:32 process and their with their lives.

19:32 process and their with their lives. A lot of his friends have flown home now

19:34 A lot of his friends have flown home now

19:34 A lot of his friends have flown home now or had to go back to work and I'm just

19:36 or had to go back to work and I'm just

19:36 or had to go back to work and I'm just sort of left

19:44 not knowing really what to do with

19:44 not knowing really what to do with myself. I have a a loose plan,

19:52 but I've been kind of laying here.

19:52 but I've been kind of laying here. Whenever I can do something for somebody

19:53 Whenever I can do something for somebody

19:53 Whenever I can do something for somebody else, whenever I can go and see his

19:55 else, whenever I can go and see his

19:55 else, whenever I can go and see his parents or go see one of his friends and

19:57 parents or go see one of his friends and

19:57 parents or go see one of his friends and kind of go around and talk or go to the

19:59 kind of go around and talk or go to the

19:59 kind of go around and talk or go to the graveside or do that, I'm all right. Um,

20:04 graveside or do that, I'm all right. Um,

20:04 graveside or do that, I'm all right. Um, so whenever I get alone again, I just

20:06 so whenever I get alone again, I just

20:06 so whenever I get alone again, I just it's been hard. But like I said, I have

20:08 it's been hard. But like I said, I have

20:08 it's been hard. But like I said, I have kind of a a loose idea, a loose plan. I

20:10 kind of a a loose idea, a loose plan. I

20:10 kind of a a loose idea, a loose plan. I kind of know what phase two is.

20:13 kind of know what phase two is.

20:13 kind of know what phase two is. It's just been that um

20:20 it's just been that first step that's

20:20 it's just been that first step that's been really really difficult

20:23 been really really difficult

20:23 been really really difficult because all this time it's been about

20:25 because all this time it's been about

20:25 because all this time it's been about Adam. It's been about his family, been

20:28 Adam. It's been about his family, been

20:28 Adam. It's been about his family, been about his friends, been about even his

20:30 about his friends, been about even his

20:30 about his friends, been about even his fans, you know,

20:32 fans, you know,

20:32 fans, you know, going outside his house and just trying

20:34 going outside his house and just trying

20:34 going outside his house and just trying to talk to people and just do what I can

20:36 to talk to people and just do what I can

20:36 to talk to people and just do what I can to be there for them since I can't do

20:38 to be there for them since I can't do

20:38 to be there for them since I can't do anything for Adam anymore. Um,

20:42 anything for Adam anymore. Um,

20:42 anything for Adam anymore. Um, but then realizing once it's all said

20:44 but then realizing once it's all said

20:44 but then realizing once it's all said and done, like, oh, I've got to deal

20:45 and done, like, oh, I've got to deal

20:45 and done, like, oh, I've got to deal with me now,

20:48 with me now,

20:48 with me now, and there's part of you that feels

20:49 and there's part of you that feels

20:49 and there's part of you that feels really guilty. Like unexplainably just

20:52 really guilty. Like unexplainably just

20:52 really guilty. Like unexplainably just guilty. Like, it's not about me. Think

20:54 guilty. Like, it's not about me. Think

20:54 guilty. Like, it's not about me. Think how much this person or that person is

20:55 how much this person or that person is

20:56 how much this person or that person is sad.

20:57 sad.

20:57 sad. [snorts]

20:59 [snorts]

20:59 [snorts] But at some point, you got to realize

21:00 But at some point, you got to realize

21:00 But at some point, you got to realize like, oh, I'm a little bit crippled by

21:02 like, oh, I'm a little bit crippled by

21:02 like, oh, I'm a little bit crippled by this. Like, I'm a little bit paralyzed

21:04 this. Like, I'm a little bit paralyzed

21:04 this. Like, I'm a little bit paralyzed here. And uh

21:07 here. And uh

21:07 here. And uh I got to get up and take that

21:10 I got to get up and take that

21:10 I got to get up and take that that first step.

21:17 And so I don't know how I don't know how

21:17 And so I don't know how I don't know how far this step has gone. I don't know how

21:19 far this step has gone. I don't know how

21:19 far this step has gone. I don't know how big of a step this is, but [snorts]

21:22 big of a step this is, but [snorts]

21:22 big of a step this is, but [snorts] I just had to be able to pick this uh

21:24 I just had to be able to pick this uh

21:24 I just had to be able to pick this uh camera up again. And

21:28 camera up again. And

21:28 camera up again. And and I guess we're going to have to go

21:29 and I guess we're going to have to go

21:29 and I guess we're going to have to go through this somewhat together because

21:32 through this somewhat together because

21:32 through this somewhat together because I don't know how you just go back to we

21:35 I don't know how you just go back to we

21:35 I don't know how you just go back to we here we are on the teacups. Look at this

21:37 here we are on the teacups. Look at this

21:37 here we are on the teacups. Look at this thing.

21:39 thing.

21:39 thing. And yet I know Adam was here.

21:44 And yet I know Adam was here.

21:44 And yet I know Adam was here. That's that's what he'd be telling me to

21:46 That's that's what he'd be telling me to

21:46 That's that's what he'd be telling me to do. It's just really hard because like I

21:49 do. It's just really hard because like I

21:49 do. It's just really hard because like I said,

21:50 said,

21:50 said, he was that person for me in my life

21:52 he was that person for me in my life

21:52 he was that person for me in my life that uh when I get knocked down,

21:56 that uh when I get knocked down,

21:56 that uh when I get knocked down, he'd be the one going get up.

22:00 he'd be the one going get up.

22:00 he'd be the one going get up. I know exactly the movies he'd tell me

22:01 I know exactly the movies he'd tell me

22:01 I know exactly the movies he'd tell me to watch. I know exactly Shaw Shank

22:03 to watch. I know exactly Shaw Shank

22:03 to watch. I know exactly Shaw Shank Redemption and Castaway. Especially that

22:06 Redemption and Castaway. Especially that

22:06 Redemption and Castaway. Especially that one. You know that scene at the end of

22:07 one. You know that scene at the end of

22:08 one. You know that scene at the end of the movie where Tom Hanks is describing

22:11 the movie where Tom Hanks is describing

22:11 the movie where Tom Hanks is describing how he survived on the island. He's

22:13 how he survived on the island. He's

22:13 how he survived on the island. He's talking to his friend.

22:15 talking to his friend.

22:15 talking to his friend. I'm in Memphis with you. I've got ice in

22:18 I'm in Memphis with you. I've got ice in

22:18 I'm in Memphis with you. I've got ice in my glass. Anytime anything would happen

22:21 my glass. Anytime anything would happen

22:21 my glass. Anytime anything would happen to me or him, horrible.

22:23 to me or him, horrible.

22:24 to me or him, horrible. He would send me that

22:26 He would send me that

22:26 He would send me that that clip. You know, I lost somebody so

22:29 that clip. You know, I lost somebody so

22:29 that clip. You know, I lost somebody so close to me.

22:32 close to me.

22:32 close to me. And uh on this side, we'll never get to

22:35 And uh on this side, we'll never get to

22:35 And uh on this side, we'll never get to speak again.

22:48 I've got some of him that goes with me.

22:48 I've got some of him that goes with me. I know what he'd say.

22:59 And uh

22:59 And uh people keep saying to me, you know,

23:00 people keep saying to me, you know,

23:00 people keep saying to me, you know, there there'll be a there'll be a day a

23:02 there there'll be a there'll be a day a

23:02 there there'll be a there'll be a day a day will come when um

23:11 when you feel his presence more than you

23:11 when you feel his presence more than you feel the loss

23:14 feel the loss

23:14 feel the loss when that will mean more to you. that uh

23:18 when that will mean more to you. that uh

23:18 when that will mean more to you. that uh all the things you've learned

23:21 all the things you've learned

23:21 all the things you've learned together, all the uh the memories and

23:23 together, all the uh the memories and

23:24 together, all the uh the memories and the the bond that you had and all that

23:43 and be more be more powerful than the

23:43 and be more be more powerful than the sadness or whatever. I'm not being very

23:45 sadness or whatever. I'm not being very

23:45 sadness or whatever. I'm not being very articulate, am I? Well, that day is not

23:47 articulate, am I? Well, that day is not

23:47 articulate, am I? Well, that day is not really here yet.

23:49 really here yet.

23:49 really here yet. But

23:51 But

23:51 But we don't grieve without hope.

23:54 we don't grieve without hope.

23:54 we don't grieve without hope. I know I'll see him again.

24:07 I know that. And I know another thing

24:07 I know that. And I know another thing he'd say from the other movie I

24:08 he'd say from the other movie I

24:08 he'd say from the other movie I mentioned,

24:10 mentioned,

24:10 mentioned, >> get busy living or get busy dying.

24:21 So, I'm going to try.

24:21 So, I'm going to try. It's going to be weird. It's going to be

24:22 It's going to be weird. It's going to be

24:22 It's going to be weird. It's going to be hard. I have a thing where I just I beat

24:25 hard. I have a thing where I just I beat

24:25 hard. I have a thing where I just I beat myself up too much. And,

24:28 myself up too much. And,

24:28 myself up too much. And, you know, every time I laugh or anything

24:31 you know, every time I laugh or anything

24:31 you know, every time I laugh or anything at a good memory, I just start to feel

24:32 at a good memory, I just start to feel

24:32 at a good memory, I just start to feel guilty that I even did that. I just I

24:35 guilty that I even did that. I just I

24:35 guilty that I even did that. I just I have a hard time not beating myself up,

24:38 have a hard time not beating myself up,

24:38 have a hard time not beating myself up, taking things out of myself, thinking of

24:40 taking things out of myself, thinking of

24:40 taking things out of myself, thinking of all the regrets and everything. The one

24:41 all the regrets and everything. The one

24:41 all the regrets and everything. The one other thing I'll say about the day that

24:45 other thing I'll say about the day that

24:45 other thing I'll say about the day that Adam was laid to rest is that there were

24:46 Adam was laid to rest is that there were

24:46 Adam was laid to rest is that there were a lot of those regrets and

24:49 a lot of those regrets and

24:49 a lot of those regrets and and things that I um

24:52 and things that I um

24:52 and things that I um I got off my chest to him and let those

24:56 I got off my chest to him and let those

24:56 I got off my chest to him and let those lie. A lot of that stuff is bad to sit

24:59 lie. A lot of that stuff is bad to sit

24:59 lie. A lot of that stuff is bad to sit there and focus on all the things that

25:00 there and focus on all the things that

25:00 there and focus on all the things that you wish you'd done differently. But

25:03 you wish you'd done differently. But

25:03 you wish you'd done differently. But some of it's good. Some of it is good to

25:05 some of it's good. Some of it is good to

25:05 some of it's good. Some of it is good to remember

25:11 and to to take on board and know that we

25:11 and to to take on board and know that we can do better

25:13 can do better

25:13 can do better and not take our friends and our family

25:16 and not take our friends and our family

25:16 and not take our friends and our family and our loved ones for granted because I

25:18 and our loved ones for granted because I

25:18 and our loved ones for granted because I did take him for granted. How could you

25:20 did take him for granted. How could you

25:20 did take him for granted. How could you help it? Thought he was indestructible.

25:29 And so remembering and Adam and I talked

25:29 And so remembering and Adam and I talked about this all the time. Remembering

25:30 about this all the time. Remembering

25:30 about this all the time. Remembering that life is short.

25:32 that life is short.

25:32 that life is short. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Not even for

25:35 Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Not even for

25:35 Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Not even for me or you.

25:38 me or you.

25:38 me or you. And we have to make the most of this

25:41 And we have to make the most of this

25:41 And we have to make the most of this beautiful, wonderful world while we're

25:43 beautiful, wonderful world while we're

25:43 beautiful, wonderful world while we're still here. That is something I need to

25:46 still here. That is something I need to

25:46 still here. That is something I need to carry with me, too.

25:48 carry with me, too.

25:48 carry with me, too. You know, it's a certain amount of um

25:52 You know, it's a certain amount of um

25:52 You know, it's a certain amount of um humility or repentance or however you

25:54 humility or repentance or however you

25:54 humility or repentance or however you want to put it. I've had the hardest

25:55 want to put it. I've had the hardest

25:55 want to put it. I've had the hardest time getting back up,

25:58 time getting back up,

25:58 time getting back up, just getting up from from this place.

26:00 just getting up from from this place.

26:00 just getting up from from this place. And um

26:03 And um

26:03 And um I asked his dad, you know, when is it

26:06 I asked his dad, you know, when is it

26:06 I asked his dad, you know, when is it okay

26:12 to get up and

26:12 to get up and be silly and continue on my own mission

26:14 be silly and continue on my own mission

26:14 be silly and continue on my own mission here,

26:16 here,

26:16 here, a mission Adam set me on, as a matter of

26:18 a mission Adam set me on, as a matter of

26:18 a mission Adam set me on, as a matter of fact, [snorts]

26:21 fact, [snorts]

26:21 fact, [snorts] not just when it isn't okay or

26:22 not just when it isn't okay or

26:22 not just when it isn't okay or appropriate, but how do you give

26:25 appropriate, but how do you give

26:25 appropriate, but how do you give yourself permission?

26:27 yourself permission?

26:27 yourself permission? you know, how do you be okay with it

26:29 you know, how do you be okay with it

26:29 you know, how do you be okay with it inside? And uh to paraphrase, he just

26:33 inside? And uh to paraphrase, he just

26:33 inside? And uh to paraphrase, he just said, I don't know,

26:35 said, I don't know,

26:35 said, I don't know, but eventually we we have to do it.

26:43 So, it won't be easy. It'll be weird.

26:44 So, it won't be easy. It'll be weird. I'm sorry if I'm going to be annoying.

26:50 There will be uh a lot of times, I

26:50 There will be uh a lot of times, I think, in the near future where I'm

26:54 think, in the near future where I'm

26:54 think, in the near future where I'm going to be talking about my friend

26:56 going to be talking about my friend

26:56 going to be talking about my friend because it's

27:01 It's devastating, but it's also just

27:01 It's devastating, but it's also just such a huge part of my life. He was such

27:03 such a huge part of my life. He was such

27:03 such a huge part of my life. He was such a huge part of my life and still is.

27:04 a huge part of my life and still is.

27:04 a huge part of my life and still is. That uh this is going to be a lot to

27:06 That uh this is going to be a lot to

27:06 That uh this is going to be a lot to work through.

27:08 work through.

27:08 work through. And I've never been very good at making

27:10 And I've never been very good at making

27:10 And I've never been very good at making uh

27:12 uh

27:12 uh these videos and having these adventures

27:14 these videos and having these adventures

27:14 these videos and having these adventures with my brain. They always kind of have

27:16 with my brain. They always kind of have

27:16 with my brain. They always kind of have to come from my heart or from my

27:17 to come from my heart or from my

27:17 to come from my heart or from my instinct or whatever, however you call

27:19 instinct or whatever, however you call

27:19 instinct or whatever, however you call it. You know, out of the abundance of

27:21 it. You know, out of the abundance of

27:21 it. You know, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.

27:24 the heart, the mouth speaketh.

27:24 the heart, the mouth speaketh. So, I'm sure there's going to be days

27:26 So, I'm sure there's going to be days

27:26 So, I'm sure there's going to be days where

27:29 where

27:29 where I'm gonna still be talking about this

27:31 I'm gonna still be talking about this

27:31 I'm gonna still be talking about this all. You wouldn't want to sit here and

27:33 all. You wouldn't want to sit here and

27:33 all. You wouldn't want to sit here and be

27:35 be

27:35 be the boring bummer

27:38 the boring bummer

27:38 the boring bummer [laughter] memorial channel or something

27:40 [laughter] memorial channel or something

27:40 [laughter] memorial channel or something like that.

27:42 like that.

27:42 like that. He also wouldn't want anyone to take his

27:44 He also wouldn't want anyone to take his

27:44 He also wouldn't want anyone to take his place. I know, Adam. And I know he'd be

27:47 place. I know, Adam. And I know he'd be

27:47 place. I know, Adam. And I know he'd be like, "Get out there and do your own

27:48 like, "Get out there and do your own

27:48 like, "Get out there and do your own thing. Quit talking about it and do it."

27:53 thing. Quit talking about it and do it."

27:53 thing. Quit talking about it and do it." But, uh, it's going to be a while. All

27:55 But, uh, it's going to be a while. All

27:55 But, uh, it's going to be a while. All of this is going to take

28:00 a long time to sort through and a long

28:00 a long time to sort through and a long time to work through. Some of that I'm

28:02 time to work through. Some of that I'm

28:02 time to work through. Some of that I'm going to have to carry on my own. Some

28:04 going to have to carry on my own. Some

28:04 going to have to carry on my own. Some of that I'm going to have to uh

28:07 of that I'm going to have to uh

28:07 of that I'm going to have to uh carry with his friends and family.

28:10 carry with his friends and family.

28:10 carry with his friends and family. And uh, some of that, if you're willing,

28:13 And uh, some of that, if you're willing,

28:13 And uh, some of that, if you're willing, I'll be sharing with you.

28:22 But we got to get up.

28:22 But we got to get up. how to keep breathing, how to put one

28:25 how to keep breathing, how to put one

28:25 how to keep breathing, how to put one foot in front of the other. And as sad

28:26 foot in front of the other. And as sad

28:26 foot in front of the other. And as sad as it is knowing that um

28:29 as it is knowing that um

28:30 as it is knowing that um on this side of heaven, I'm not going to

28:33 on this side of heaven, I'm not going to

28:33 on this side of heaven, I'm not going to see my friend anymore.

28:42 I am very grateful.

28:42 I am very grateful. I mean, what an unusual situation. I'm

28:44 I mean, what an unusual situation. I'm

28:44 I mean, what an unusual situation. I'm so grateful that there are

28:47 so grateful that there are

28:47 so grateful that there are years and years worth of uh memories

28:52 years and years worth of uh memories

28:52 years and years worth of uh memories together even

28:55 together even

28:55 together even recorded and

28:57 recorded and

28:57 recorded and still on YouTube

29:04 and um

29:04 and um you know how how strange is I can't turn

29:07 you know how how strange is I can't turn

29:07 you know how how strange is I can't turn on my TV and uh hear my grandpa's voice

29:09 on my TV and uh hear my grandpa's voice

29:09 on my TV and uh hear my grandpa's voice or my aunts or my uncles that have gone.

29:14 or my aunts or my uncles that have gone.

29:14 or my aunts or my uncles that have gone. I can uh open my phone and and hear my

29:17 I can uh open my phone and and hear my

29:17 I can uh open my phone and and hear my friend's voice whenever I want,

29:21 friend's voice whenever I want,

29:21 friend's voice whenever I want, which has been [laughter]

29:23 which has been [laughter]

29:23 which has been [laughter] uh

29:25 uh kind of strange. Being tagged in so many

29:28 kind of strange. Being tagged in so many

29:28 kind of strange. Being tagged in so many pictures and memories and things

29:31 pictures and memories and things

29:31 pictures and memories and things makes it harder to kind of process that

29:33 makes it harder to kind of process that

29:33 makes it harder to kind of process that it's all real, [snorts] but also

29:36 it's all real, [snorts] but also

29:36 it's all real, [snorts] but also wonderful and I'm

29:38 wonderful and I'm

29:38 wonderful and I'm I'm very grateful.

29:41 I'm very grateful.

29:41 I'm very grateful. Also, I want to say something else. So,

29:42 Also, I want to say something else. So,

29:42 Also, I want to say something else. So, I'm very grateful that um

29:50 we never took leave of each other

29:50 we never took leave of each other without saying I love you. I sort of

29:53 without saying I love you. I sort of

29:53 without saying I love you. I sort of forced that on him early in our

29:55 forced that on him early in our

29:55 forced that on him early in our friendship.

29:56 friendship.

29:56 friendship. He did a lot for me. He changed my life.

29:58 He did a lot for me. He changed my life.

29:58 He did a lot for me. He changed my life. And uh he slowly got more comfortable

30:01 And uh he slowly got more comfortable

30:01 And uh he slowly got more comfortable telling his bro that he loved me, too.

30:09 Someday I I'll tell you guys the last

30:09 Someday I I'll tell you guys the last thing that we ever said to each other in

30:10 thing that we ever said to each other in

30:10 thing that we ever said to each other in person. I can't right now.

30:12 person. I can't right now.

30:12 person. I can't right now. But um but it was good.

30:16 But um but it was good.

30:16 But um but it was good. And so like I said in the beginning of

30:17 And so like I said in the beginning of

30:17 And so like I said in the beginning of this,

30:20 this,

30:20 this, just make sure you uh hug your friends

30:22 just make sure you uh hug your friends

30:22 just make sure you uh hug your friends and family. I know life gets busy. I get

30:24 and family. I know life gets busy. I get

30:24 and family. I know life gets busy. I get a zillion text messages, a bunch of

30:26 a zillion text messages, a bunch of

30:26 a zillion text messages, a bunch of messages from my family. Right now I

30:27 messages from my family. Right now I

30:27 messages from my family. Right now I haven't answered cuz just

30:29 haven't answered cuz just

30:29 haven't answered cuz just all this chaos.

30:35 But when you take leave of someone, let

30:35 But when you take leave of someone, let them know how you feel.

30:37 them know how you feel.

30:37 them know how you feel. Tell them you love them.

30:40 Tell them you love them.

30:40 Tell them you love them. Make it weird. I need you to know that

30:41 Make it weird. I need you to know that

30:42 Make it weird. I need you to know that Adam's okay. I'm not all right. You're

30:44 Adam's okay. I'm not all right. You're

30:44 Adam's okay. I'm not all right. You're probably not all right. There's a lot of

30:46 probably not all right. There's a lot of

30:46 probably not all right. There's a lot of us that are not all right now.

30:49 us that are not all right now.

30:49 us that are not all right now. But we will be too eventually. We don't

30:52 But we will be too eventually. We don't

30:52 But we will be too eventually. We don't always get to pick and choose what comes

30:53 always get to pick and choose what comes

30:53 always get to pick and choose what comes across our path or

30:56 across our path or

30:56 across our path or what happens to us in this life. All we

30:58 what happens to us in this life. All we

30:58 what happens to us in this life. All we can do is make the most of it

31:01 can do is make the most of it

31:02 can do is make the most of it and get as much out of it as we can. And

31:04 and get as much out of it as we can. And

31:04 and get as much out of it as we can. And that's what I

31:06 that's what I

31:06 that's what I hopefully plan on

31:09 hopefully plan on

31:09 hopefully plan on plan on getting back to. To be honest

31:10 plan on getting back to. To be honest

31:10 plan on getting back to. To be honest with you, I didn't even think I was

31:11 with you, I didn't even think I was

31:11 with you, I didn't even think I was going to be able to do this today. Every

31:13 going to be able to do this today. Every

31:13 going to be able to do this today. Every single day I have picked this thing up

31:16 single day I have picked this thing up

31:16 single day I have picked this thing up and tried to just sort of make a start

31:20 and tried to just sort of make a start

31:20 and tried to just sort of make a start and I would just weep and sob

31:22 and I would just weep and sob

31:22 and I would just weep and sob uncontrollably,

31:24 uncontrollably,

31:24 uncontrollably, not be able to think. And then

31:25 not be able to think. And then

31:25 not be able to think. And then yesterday,

31:27 yesterday,

31:27 yesterday, if you were friends with Adam at all,

31:29 if you were friends with Adam at all,

31:29 if you were friends with Adam at all, you'll know why this is hilarious. I got

31:32 you'll know why this is hilarious. I got

31:32 you'll know why this is hilarious. I got terrible violent food poisoning for 26

31:36 terrible violent food poisoning for 26

31:36 terrible violent food poisoning for 26 hours. I was throwing up and not leaving

31:41 hours. I was throwing up and not leaving

31:41 hours. I was throwing up and not leaving the restroom

31:43 the restroom

31:43 the restroom or the bed. Let me tell you, nothing

31:45 or the bed. Let me tell you, nothing

31:45 or the bed. Let me tell you, nothing makes you feel more grateful to be alive

31:49 makes you feel more grateful to be alive

31:49 makes you feel more grateful to be alive than after you're done doing that. And

31:51 than after you're done doing that. And

31:51 than after you're done doing that. And if you if you were lucky enough to be

31:53 if you if you were lucky enough to be

31:53 if you if you were lucky enough to be friends with Adam,

31:55 friends with Adam,

31:55 friends with Adam, then certainly throughout the years at

31:57 then certainly throughout the years at

31:57 then certainly throughout the years at some point you would get one of those

31:59 some point you would get one of those

31:59 some point you would get one of those text. Dude, I got food poisoning on the

32:01 text. Dude, I got food poisoning on the

32:01 text. Dude, I got food poisoning on the road somewhere.

32:02 road somewhere.

32:02 road somewhere. You would always say that. Nothing makes

32:04 You would always say that. Nothing makes

32:04 You would always say that. Nothing makes you feel more grateful to be alive than

32:06 you feel more grateful to be alive than

32:06 you feel more grateful to be alive than after you thrown up. So, I know that's

32:08 after you thrown up. So, I know that's

32:08 after you thrown up. So, I know that's weird. [laughter] I feel like, all

32:10 weird. [laughter] I feel like, all

32:10 weird. [laughter] I feel like, all right, I got the message. I got the

32:13 right, I got the message. I got the

32:13 right, I got the message. I got the message. I'm up.

32:16 message. I'm up.

32:16 message. I'm up. I'm up. And I know it'll be I'm up and

32:18 I'm up. And I know it'll be I'm up and

32:18 I'm up. And I know it'll be I'm up and then it'll be, oh, I'm down. And then

32:21 then it'll be, oh, I'm down. And then

32:21 then it'll be, oh, I'm down. And then it'll be I'm up and then it'll be I'm

32:23 it'll be I'm up and then it'll be I'm

32:23 it'll be I'm up and then it'll be I'm down. But just over there, some of these

32:25 down. But just over there, some of these

32:25 down. But just over there, some of these people just stopping by saying like,

32:26 people just stopping by saying like,

32:26 people just stopping by saying like, "Oh, you know, just know that you're

32:28 "Oh, you know, just know that you're

32:28 "Oh, you know, just know that you're prayed for and Adam's family's prayed

32:30 prayed for and Adam's family's prayed

32:30 prayed for and Adam's family's prayed for." And I cannot tell you

32:35 for." And I cannot tell you

32:35 for." And I cannot tell you how much um

32:37 how much um

32:37 how much um all of those comments mean, all the

32:39 all of those comments mean, all the

32:39 all of those comments mean, all the kindness,

32:42 kindness,

32:42 kindness, mostly towards his family, but but also

32:44 mostly towards his family, but but also

32:44 mostly towards his family, but but also towards me. It has meant a lot.

32:48 towards me. It has meant a lot.

32:48 towards me. It has meant a lot. and all the little tributes and um

32:51 and all the little tributes and um

32:51 and all the little tributes and um pictures and clips of Adam and I and

32:55 pictures and clips of Adam and I and

32:55 pictures and clips of Adam and I and it's all been overwhelming. It's all

32:57 it's all been overwhelming. It's all

32:57 it's all been overwhelming. It's all been a lot.

32:59 been a lot.

32:59 been a lot. Definitely not normal that um when you

33:01 Definitely not normal that um when you

33:01 Definitely not normal that um when you go to the grocery store, the guy comes

33:02 go to the grocery store, the guy comes

33:02 go to the grocery store, the guy comes out from behind the counter and hugs

33:04 out from behind the counter and hugs

33:04 out from behind the counter and hugs you.

33:05 you.

33:05 you. Sorry about your friend. It's very

33:07 Sorry about your friend. It's very

33:07 Sorry about your friend. It's very strange. You know, I was telling

33:09 strange. You know, I was telling

33:09 strange. You know, I was telling somebody the first couple days like uh

33:12 somebody the first couple days like uh

33:12 somebody the first couple days like uh you know, if you have a family member

33:13 you know, if you have a family member

33:13 you know, if you have a family member pass away or a cousin or something, you

33:14 pass away or a cousin or something, you

33:14 pass away or a cousin or something, you grieve with your family, but then maybe

33:16 grieve with your family, but then maybe

33:16 grieve with your family, but then maybe you go to work, you go and stock some

33:18 you go to work, you go and stock some

33:18 you go to work, you go and stock some shelves or whatever it is and and you

33:20 shelves or whatever it is and and you

33:20 shelves or whatever it is and and you can kind of get away from it. You can

33:21 can kind of get away from it. You can

33:21 can kind of get away from it. You can kind of get away and put yourself in

33:23 kind of get away and put yourself in

33:24 kind of get away and put yourself in that numb state, that Twilight Zone

33:25 that numb state, that Twilight Zone

33:26 that numb state, that Twilight Zone thing, and just get through your day.

33:28 thing, and just get through your day.

33:28 thing, and just get through your day. It's like that [laughter] was impossible

33:29 It's like that [laughter] was impossible

33:29 It's like that [laughter] was impossible with this. So, it's a little unnatural,

33:31 with this. So, it's a little unnatural,

33:31 with this. So, it's a little unnatural, but at the same time, it it's kind of

33:34 but at the same time, it it's kind of

33:34 but at the same time, it it's kind of been nice, right? It's kind of been

33:36 been nice, right? It's kind of been

33:36 been nice, right? It's kind of been nice. Um,

33:39 nice. Um,

33:39 nice. Um, just to know,

33:41 just to know,

33:41 just to know, you know, you get afraid like, am I

33:42 you know, you get afraid like, am I

33:42 you know, you get afraid like, am I gonna forget him? Just to know that

33:44 gonna forget him? Just to know that

33:44 gonna forget him? Just to know that there's no possibility of that ever ever

33:47 there's no possibility of that ever ever

33:47 there's no possibility of that ever ever happening. Anyway, as you can see, still

33:48 happening. Anyway, as you can see, still

33:48 happening. Anyway, as you can see, still a little bit uh lost and confused and

33:50 a little bit uh lost and confused and

33:50 a little bit uh lost and confused and rambling and if I keep growing too much

33:53 rambling and if I keep growing too much

33:53 rambling and if I keep growing too much longer, I'm just going to start talking

33:54 longer, I'm just going to start talking

33:54 longer, I'm just going to start talking in circles.

34:01 But I'm up. I'm up. Few more things to

34:01 But I'm up. I'm up. Few more things to do here in Florida. I'm going to be here

34:03 do here in Florida. I'm going to be here

34:03 do here in Florida. I'm going to be here for at least another week or about

34:07 for at least another week or about

34:07 for at least another week or about another week and um definitely be taking

34:11 another week and um definitely be taking

34:11 another week and um definitely be taking a trip down memory lane. I'll take you

34:13 a trip down memory lane. I'll take you

34:13 a trip down memory lane. I'll take you with me.

34:16 with me.

34:16 with me. There'll probably be a few more things

34:17 There'll probably be a few more things

34:17 There'll probably be a few more things to talk about here and then we got to

34:20 to talk about here and then we got to

34:20 to talk about here and then we got to start um thinking about

34:25 start um thinking about

34:25 start um thinking about heading home. I want you to know

34:29 heading home. I want you to know

34:29 heading home. I want you to know though if you didn't know him and you're

34:32 though if you didn't know him and you're

34:32 though if you didn't know him and you're out there and you're just missing those

34:33 out there and you're just missing those

34:33 out there and you're just missing those notifications

34:35 notifications

34:35 notifications for the daily video.

34:39 for the daily video.

34:39 for the daily video. You did know him. Like I said, you did

34:41 You did know him. Like I said, you did

34:41 You did know him. Like I said, you did know the best part of him. He was on a

34:43 know the best part of him. He was on a

34:43 know the best part of him. He was on a mission all the time. There were days

34:44 mission all the time. There were days

34:44 mission all the time. There were days where I'd be like, "Let's just do

34:45 where I'd be like, "Let's just do

34:45 where I'd be like, "Let's just do nothing."

34:46 nothing."

34:46 nothing." >> Dude, I'm on a mission. Quote the Blues

34:49 >> Dude, I'm on a mission. Quote the Blues

34:49 >> Dude, I'm on a mission. Quote the Blues Brothers, right? I'm on a mission from

34:50 Brothers, right? I'm on a mission from

34:50 Brothers, right? I'm on a mission from God. many, many times where he didn't

34:52 God. many, many times where he didn't

34:52 God. many, many times where he didn't want to do anything and he still got up

34:56 want to do anything and he still got up

34:56 want to do anything and he still got up and had an adventure, filmed it and

34:59 and had an adventure, filmed it and

34:59 and had an adventure, filmed it and shared it cuz he knew there were people

35:01 shared it cuz he knew there were people

35:01 shared it cuz he knew there were people out there.

35:03 out there.

35:03 out there. Maybe they're incapacitated, they can't

35:05 Maybe they're incapacitated, they can't

35:05 Maybe they're incapacitated, they can't go someplace, maybe that was their

35:07 go someplace, maybe that was their

35:07 go someplace, maybe that was their stress relief for the day.

35:10 stress relief for the day.

35:10 stress relief for the day. He knew that putting his little piece of

35:12 He knew that putting his little piece of

35:12 He knew that putting his little piece of positivity into the world was his

35:16 positivity into the world was his

35:16 positivity into the world was his his mission.

35:19 his mission.

35:19 his mission. It's the same way I think about my

35:21 It's the same way I think about my

35:21 It's the same way I think about my mission. And there's a reason for that.

35:23 mission. And there's a reason for that.

35:24 mission. And there's a reason for that. That's because we were friends and

35:25 That's because we were friends and

35:25 That's because we were friends and started all this together.

35:31 But he really did put himself into those

35:31 But he really did put himself into those videos.

35:33 videos.

35:33 videos. That really was him.

35:36 That really was him.

35:36 That really was him. And like I always tell people when they

35:37 And like I always tell people when they

35:37 And like I always tell people when they meet me, they say, "Oh, it must feel so

35:40 meet me, they say, "Oh, it must feel so

35:40 meet me, they say, "Oh, it must feel so weird uh because we feel like we know

35:42 weird uh because we feel like we know

35:42 weird uh because we feel like we know you." And I always say, "You do know me.

35:44 you." And I always say, "You do know me.

35:44 you." And I always say, "You do know me. I just don't know you yet." And Adam

35:46 I just don't know you yet." And Adam

35:46 I just don't know you yet." And Adam would have said the exact same thing.

35:53 you did know him. He was your friend.

35:54 you did know him. He was your friend. Your grief and your feelings are also

35:55 Your grief and your feelings are also

35:55 Your grief and your feelings are also valid.

35:57 valid.

35:57 valid. And um the outpouring of

36:01 And um the outpouring of

36:01 And um the outpouring of love for his family and his friends and

36:03 love for his family and his friends and

36:03 love for his family and his friends and for him, especially for him,

36:07 for him, especially for him,

36:07 for him, especially for him, his dad said it today. I really want you

36:09 his dad said it today. I really want you

36:09 his dad said it today. I really want you to watch that video. Um his dad said it

36:12 to watch that video. Um his dad said it

36:12 to watch that video. Um his dad said it today, you know, thank you for loving

36:14 today, you know, thank you for loving

36:14 today, you know, thank you for loving our son. That's how I always feel. Thank

36:16 our son. That's how I always feel. Thank

36:16 our son. That's how I always feel. Thank you for loving my friend.

36:19 you for loving my friend.

36:19 you for loving my friend. It does mean the world.

36:25 Adam's all right. He's uh he's done his

36:25 Adam's all right. He's uh he's done his duty. He's gone home to sleep. Well,

36:36 as for me, I guess it's time to wake up.

36:36 as for me, I guess it's time to wake up. Keep going.

36:39 Keep going.

36:39 Keep going. Thanks for uh

36:41 Thanks for uh

36:41 Thanks for uh thanks for being there.

36:45 thanks for being there.

36:45 thanks for being there. Sorry it was such a long gap. [laughter]

36:48 Sorry it was such a long gap. [laughter]

36:48 Sorry it was such a long gap. [laughter] Um

36:49 Um

36:49 Um try to make the next gap shorter.

36:53 try to make the next gap shorter.

36:53 try to make the next gap shorter. For now though,

36:55 For now though,

36:55 For now though, speaking of waking up, I'm going to head

36:57 speaking of waking up, I'm going to head

36:57 speaking of waking up, I'm going to head over here to Starbucks,

36:59 over here to Starbucks,

36:59 over here to Starbucks, grab my piping hot caffeinated beverage.

37:03 grab my piping hot caffeinated beverage.

37:03 grab my piping hot caffeinated beverage. I mean, how about that? How amazing of a

37:04 I mean, how about that? How amazing of a

37:04 I mean, how about that? How amazing of a person is that? What kind of person

37:07 person is that? What kind of person

37:07 person is that? What kind of person could take coffee that everybody drinks,

37:08 could take coffee that everybody drinks,

37:08 could take coffee that everybody drinks, that's in every hotel, and every

37:09 that's in every hotel, and every

37:09 that's in every hotel, and every Denny's, and make it their thing to

37:12 Denny's, and make it their thing to

37:12 Denny's, and make it their thing to where you can never have a coffee

37:14 where you can never have a coffee

37:14 where you can never have a coffee without thinking of them again? He was

37:15 without thinking of them again? He was

37:15 without thinking of them again? He was very special, one of a kind,

37:19 very special, one of a kind,

37:19 very special, one of a kind, and I miss him. [music]

37:34 Thank you guys. See you uh see you next

37:34 Thank you guys. See you uh see you next time.

Transcript