Grief, Loss, and Adam the Woo

0:03 made a huge mistake today.

0:03 made a huge mistake today. Um, but I learned something important.

0:07 Um, but I learned something important.

0:07 Um, but I learned something important. Hope everybody had a good Christmas out

0:08 Hope everybody had a good Christmas out

0:08 Hope everybody had a good Christmas out there. I hope you had a nice holiday

0:11 there. I hope you had a nice holiday

0:11 there. I hope you had a nice holiday with family, friends. I hope you made it

0:13 with family, friends. I hope you made it

0:13 with family, friends. I hope you made it weird. I hope you hugged everyone you

0:16 weird. I hope you hugged everyone you

0:16 weird. I hope you hugged everyone you could or send messages to everyone you

0:18 could or send messages to everyone you

0:18 could or send messages to everyone you could. Let them know that you love them.

0:20 could. Let them know that you love them.

0:20 could. Let them know that you love them. I've been sending lots of awkward

0:21 I've been sending lots of awkward

0:21 I've been sending lots of awkward messages to my friends.

0:28 Um,

0:28 Um, as you guys probably know, we lost my uh

0:31 as you guys probably know, we lost my uh

0:31 as you guys probably know, we lost my uh only one of the best friends I'll ever

0:33 only one of the best friends I'll ever

0:33 only one of the best friends I'll ever have in my life just a few days ago. And

0:36 have in my life just a few days ago. And

0:36 have in my life just a few days ago. And um there was a lot to do at first, a lot

0:39 um there was a lot to do at first, a lot

0:39 um there was a lot to do at first, a lot of people to call. We're in a race

0:40 of people to call. We're in a race

0:40 of people to call. We're in a race against time to let them know before

0:42 against time to let them know before

0:42 against time to let them know before news started to get out there. And then

0:44 news started to get out there. And then

0:44 news started to get out there. And then when it got out there, there was a lot

0:45 when it got out there, there was a lot

0:45 when it got out there, there was a lot of conversation about who's going to

0:46 of conversation about who's going to

0:46 of conversation about who's going to post something or say something because

0:48 post something or say something because

0:48 post something or say something because everybody felt like it should come from

0:51 everybody felt like it should come from

0:51 everybody felt like it should come from somewhere that or somebody that people

0:54 somewhere that or somebody that people

0:54 somewhere that or somebody that people would know that, you know, Adam trusted

0:57 would know that, you know, Adam trusted

0:57 would know that, you know, Adam trusted and that it was real and all that. And

1:00 and that it was real and all that. And

1:00 and that it was real and all that. And um among at least a circle of us like

1:03 um among at least a circle of us like

1:03 um among at least a circle of us like they wanted me to go first.

1:05 they wanted me to go first.

1:05 they wanted me to go first. I don't know how I got through it, but I

1:07 I don't know how I got through it, but I

1:07 I don't know how I got through it, but I did that post or that last video and had

1:09 did that post or that last video and had

1:10 did that post or that last video and had to post about it online and um then it

1:13 to post about it online and um then it

1:13 to post about it online and um then it was getting a hold of the family. There

1:14 was getting a hold of the family. There

1:14 was getting a hold of the family. There was a lot to do

1:17 was a lot to do

1:17 was a lot to do and then came the hardest Christmas

1:19 and then came the hardest Christmas

1:19 and then came the hardest Christmas ever.

1:21 ever.

1:21 ever. And now

1:23 And now

1:23 And now we're in uh a waiting period,

1:27 we're in uh a waiting period,

1:27 we're in uh a waiting period, waiting to lay our friend to rest,

1:30 waiting to lay our friend to rest,

1:30 waiting to lay our friend to rest, making plans, coming up with the best

1:32 making plans, coming up with the best

1:32 making plans, coming up with the best way to try to accommodate as many

1:34 way to try to accommodate as many

1:34 way to try to accommodate as many friends and people that loved him into

1:37 friends and people that loved him into

1:37 friends and people that loved him into memorial or memorials.

1:40 memorial or memorials.

1:40 memorial or memorials. And um

1:43 And um

1:43 And um eventually I'll need to go out there and

1:45 eventually I'll need to go out there and

1:45 eventually I'll need to go out there and uh

1:47 uh

1:47 uh a lot of friends that need comforting

1:49 a lot of friends that need comforting

1:50 a lot of friends that need comforting and um and stuff like that. Um [snorts]

1:54 and um and stuff like that. Um [snorts]

1:54 and um and stuff like that. Um [snorts] Adam was

1:56 Adam was

1:56 Adam was one of a kind. I'm not here to

1:59 one of a kind. I'm not here to

1:59 one of a kind. I'm not here to memorialize him or or have some planned

2:02 memorialize him or or have some planned

2:02 memorialize him or or have some planned out tribute. I'll tell you honestly, I

2:04 out tribute. I'll tell you honestly, I

2:04 out tribute. I'll tell you honestly, I came down to the orange circle today

2:06 came down to the orange circle today

2:06 came down to the orange circle today because for the last four days, I've

2:08 because for the last four days, I've

2:08 because for the last four days, I've pretty much done nothing but cry in

2:10 pretty much done nothing but cry in

2:10 pretty much done nothing but cry in between trying to con console other

2:12 between trying to con console other

2:12 between trying to con console other people who are crying. And then we see

2:15 people who are crying. And then we see

2:15 people who are crying. And then we see some family for Christmas and some some

2:17 some family for Christmas and some some

2:17 some family for Christmas and some some good friends who

2:19 good friends who

2:19 good friends who tell stories and, you know, laugh for a

2:22 tell stories and, you know, laugh for a

2:22 tell stories and, you know, laugh for a little bit. That was nice. And then go

2:23 little bit. That was nice. And then go

2:23 little bit. That was nice. And then go back home and go back to crying. And I

2:25 back home and go back to crying. And I

2:26 back home and go back to crying. And I woke up this morning. It's the first

2:27 woke up this morning. It's the first

2:27 woke up this morning. It's the first nice day we've had, you know, without

2:30 nice day we've had, you know, without

2:30 nice day we've had, you know, without rain and stuff here in Southern

2:32 rain and stuff here in Southern

2:32 rain and stuff here in Southern California for quite a few days.

2:35 California for quite a few days.

2:35 California for quite a few days. And uh I thought, okay, I know I'm not

2:37 And uh I thought, okay, I know I'm not

2:38 And uh I thought, okay, I know I'm not ready, maybe, but when are you ever

2:40 ready, maybe, but when are you ever

2:40 ready, maybe, but when are you ever going to be ready? When is it ever time?

2:43 going to be ready? When is it ever time?

2:43 going to be ready? When is it ever time? How do you know when it's the right time

2:45 How do you know when it's the right time

2:45 How do you know when it's the right time to get up and to

2:48 to get up and to

2:48 to get up and to and to do something?

2:50 and to do something?

2:50 and to do something? And I've had Adams

2:53 And I've had Adams

2:53 And I've had Adams uh as I always do. I always have,

2:57 uh as I always do. I always have,

2:57 uh as I always do. I always have, you know, as one of your best friends,

2:58 you know, as one of your best friends,

2:58 you know, as one of your best friends, someone that's like a brother to me. I

3:00 someone that's like a brother to me. I

3:00 someone that's like a brother to me. I can't I don't know what how to put it

3:01 can't I don't know what how to put it

3:02 can't I don't know what how to put it any stronger than that. And we really

3:04 any stronger than that. And we really

3:04 any stronger than that. And we really were more like people keep saying, you

3:06 were more like people keep saying, you

3:06 were more like people keep saying, you know, oh, we know you guys were best

3:07 know, oh, we know you guys were best

3:07 know, oh, we know you guys were best friends. It's like it's more than that

3:08 friends. It's like it's more than that

3:08 friends. It's like it's more than that because there were times where we were

3:10 because there were times where we were

3:10 because there were times where we were annoyed at each other and tease each

3:12 annoyed at each other and tease each

3:12 annoyed at each other and tease each other and be competitive with each other

3:14 other and be competitive with each other

3:14 other and be competitive with each other and like brothers. times when we were

3:17 and like brothers. times when we were

3:17 and like brothers. times when we were like thicker than thieves and times when

3:19 like thicker than thieves and times when

3:19 like thicker than thieves and times when we're miffed at each other or something

3:20 we're miffed at each other or something

3:20 we're miffed at each other or something for a couple weeks and then he get back

3:22 for a couple weeks and then he get back

3:22 for a couple weeks and then he get back and have those long conversations and

3:24 and have those long conversations and

3:24 and have those long conversations and stuff and then we were both nothing

3:26 stuff and then we were both nothing

3:26 stuff and then we were both nothing together and I watched him rise just

3:28 together and I watched him rise just

3:28 together and I watched him rise just rise

3:30 rise

3:30 rise and I'm not talking about just as a

3:31 and I'm not talking about just as a

3:31 and I'm not talking about just as a creator or getting more popular but you

3:35 creator or getting more popular but you

3:35 creator or getting more popular but you know he rose to the occasion with that

3:36 know he rose to the occasion with that

3:36 know he rose to the occasion with that because we're making silly stupid videos

3:38 because we're making silly stupid videos

3:38 because we're making silly stupid videos and nobody's watching and he was like

3:40 and nobody's watching and he was like

3:40 and nobody's watching and he was like the bi piper telling everybody let's all

3:42 the bi piper telling everybody let's all

3:42 the bi piper telling everybody let's all do this together we're making something

3:43 do this together we're making something

3:43 do this together we're making something new here we're creating a scene here

3:46 new here we're creating a scene here

3:46 new here we're creating a scene here because 15 years ago, you know, there's

3:49 because 15 years ago, you know, there's

3:49 because 15 years ago, you know, there's YouTube is that for cat videos and stuff

3:51 YouTube is that for cat videos and stuff

3:51 YouTube is that for cat videos and stuff and Adam was such a pioneer

3:54 and Adam was such a pioneer

3:54 and Adam was such a pioneer and with a handful of other people, he

3:55 and with a handful of other people, he

3:55 and with a handful of other people, he really felt like just such a great

3:56 really felt like just such a great

3:56 really felt like just such a great creative partner, someone to bounce

3:58 creative partner, someone to bounce

3:58 creative partner, someone to bounce things off of, somebody to talk about.

4:01 things off of, somebody to talk about.

4:01 things off of, somebody to talk about. Oh, I got an idea for you. And I'd say,

4:03 Oh, I got an idea for you. And I'd say,

4:03 Oh, I got an idea for you. And I'd say, oh, I got this thing that you've got to

4:04 oh, I got this thing that you've got to

4:04 oh, I got this thing that you've got to go check out when you're on here and

4:06 go check out when you're on here and

4:06 go check out when you're on here and that.

4:08 that.

4:08 that. But he was always like

4:11 But he was always like

4:11 But he was always like rising

4:13 rising

4:13 rising when he got

4:15 when he got

4:15 when he got those first waves of people watching and

4:18 those first waves of people watching and

4:18 those first waves of people watching and especially when the daily videos started

4:19 especially when the daily videos started

4:19 especially when the daily videos started to pick up steam. He always believed in

4:21 to pick up steam. He always believed in

4:21 to pick up steam. He always believed in that. By the way, when he started that

4:22 that. By the way, when he started that

4:22 that. By the way, when he started that be like, "Are you crazy? No one's going

4:23 be like, "Are you crazy? No one's going

4:23 be like, "Are you crazy? No one's going to watch this. They're going to only

4:24 to watch this. They're going to only

4:24 to watch this. They're going to only want to watch your main channel." He

4:26 want to watch your main channel." He

4:26 want to watch your main channel." He always believed in that daily video

4:28 always believed in that daily video

4:28 always believed in that daily video thing for himself. That it was like that

4:30 thing for himself. That it was like that

4:30 thing for himself. That it was like that was his art. a thing that he was

4:32 was his art. a thing that he was

4:32 was his art. a thing that he was constantly trying to perfect and tweak

4:34 constantly trying to perfect and tweak

4:34 constantly trying to perfect and tweak and really really really was passionate

4:37 and really really really was passionate

4:37 and really really really was passionate about.

4:39 about.

4:39 about. And as more and more people found that,

4:40 And as more and more people found that,

4:40 And as more and more people found that, he felt more and more responsibility to

4:43 he felt more and more responsibility to

4:43 he felt more and more responsibility to live up to

4:45 live up to

4:45 live up to the Adam the Woo thing and to to spread

4:47 the Adam the Woo thing and to to spread

4:47 the Adam the Woo thing and to to spread kindness and to be nice. Um,

4:51 kindness and to be nice. Um,

4:51 kindness and to be nice. Um, not only was he there for me in the

4:53 not only was he there for me in the

4:53 not only was he there for me in the darkest times of my life, like as a good

4:54 darkest times of my life, like as a good

4:54 darkest times of my life, like as a good friend, but like not just me, but anyone

4:57 friend, but like not just me, but anyone

4:57 friend, but like not just me, but anyone he knew that had a thing, an art thing,

4:59 he knew that had a thing, an art thing,

4:59 he knew that had a thing, an art thing, a channel, whatever it was, he'd be the

5:02 a channel, whatever it was, he'd be the

5:02 a channel, whatever it was, he'd be the first person when something tragic

5:03 first person when something tragic

5:03 first person when something tragic happened, a divorce, a death, anything,

5:05 happened, a divorce, a death, anything,

5:05 happened, a divorce, a death, anything, the first person to tell you to keep

5:06 the first person to tell you to keep

5:06 the first person to tell you to keep going, get up. So, I've had his voice in

5:08 going, get up. So, I've had his voice in

5:08 going, get up. So, I've had his voice in my head every day like, "Get the heck

5:09 my head every day like, "Get the heck

5:10 my head every day like, "Get the heck up. What are you doing?"

5:16 And every day I've tried and every day I

5:16 And every day I've tried and every day I failed. And I've failed today, too.

5:18 failed. And I've failed today, too.

5:18 failed. And I've failed today, too. really.

5:20 really.

5:20 really. Um, but I felt like I needed to be

5:21 Um, but I felt like I needed to be

5:21 Um, but I felt like I needed to be outside. This is nice. We're in the

5:22 outside. This is nice. We're in the

5:22 outside. This is nice. We're in the circle for a long time and a lot of

5:24 circle for a long time and a lot of

5:24 circle for a long time and a lot of people came up and obviously have heard

5:27 people came up and obviously have heard

5:27 people came up and obviously have heard and the circle is a perfect example of

5:30 and the circle is a perfect example of

5:30 and the circle is a perfect example of Adam being 110% about everything. When

5:34 Adam being 110% about everything. When

5:34 Adam being 110% about everything. When he first came to California, the very

5:36 he first came to California, the very

5:36 he first came to California, the very first trip that he ever took out here, I

5:38 first trip that he ever took out here, I

5:38 first trip that he ever took out here, I brought him to the Orange Circle for the

5:39 brought him to the Orange Circle for the

5:39 brought him to the Orange Circle for the first time. Like, it's like kind of one

5:40 first time. Like, it's like kind of one

5:40 first time. Like, it's like kind of one of my happy places. It's kind of awesome

5:42 of my happy places. It's kind of awesome

5:42 of my happy places. It's kind of awesome little main street place. That thing you

5:44 little main street place. That thing you

5:44 little main street place. That thing you do

5:46 do

5:46 do was film down here. all that kind of

5:48 was film down here. all that kind of

5:48 was film down here. all that kind of stuff. And then later when he was coming

5:50 stuff. And then later when he was coming

5:50 stuff. And then later when he was coming out here and kind of I'm thinking about

5:51 out here and kind of I'm thinking about

5:51 out here and kind of I'm thinking about like, you know, maybe moving out there

5:53 like, you know, maybe moving out there

5:53 like, you know, maybe moving out there one day and stuff, I was going through

5:54 one day and stuff, I was going through

5:54 one day and stuff, I was going through my divorce and he's like, "Where you

5:55 my divorce and he's like, "Where you

5:55 my divorce and he's like, "Where you going to land? Where you going to end

5:56 going to land? Where you going to end

5:56 going to land? Where you going to end up?" So, we got to be together, man.

5:58 up?" So, we got to be together, man.

5:58 up?" So, we got to be together, man. Where you going to end up? Yeah, I'll

5:59 Where you going to end up? Yeah, I'll

5:59 Where you going to end up? Yeah, I'll probably try and go to the orange

6:01 probably try and go to the orange

6:01 probably try and go to the orange circle. I mean, that's like the goal

6:02 circle. I mean, that's like the goal

6:02 circle. I mean, that's like the goal once I'm come back from being destroyed

6:05 once I'm come back from being destroyed

6:05 once I'm come back from being destroyed and stuff. And he had to get a place in

6:07 and stuff. And he had to get a place in

6:07 and stuff. And he had to get a place in the orange circle. He helped move my

6:09 the orange circle. He helped move my

6:09 the orange circle. He helped move my friend Tyler who was living with my ex,

6:12 friend Tyler who was living with my ex,

6:12 friend Tyler who was living with my ex, still my roommate. Moved him in with

6:14 still my roommate. Moved him in with

6:14 still my roommate. Moved him in with him. They became roommates, gave me the

6:15 him. They became roommates, gave me the

6:15 him. They became roommates, gave me the key. It was like open door, dude. Come

6:17 key. It was like open door, dude. Come

6:17 key. It was like open door, dude. Come here, hang out. Give me a place to go.

6:19 here, hang out. Give me a place to go.

6:20 here, hang out. Give me a place to go. And I just didn't know what to do with

6:21 And I just didn't know what to do with

6:21 And I just didn't know what to do with my life.

6:23 my life.

6:23 my life. And from that day to this, I mean, more

6:25 And from that day to this, I mean, more

6:25 And from that day to this, I mean, more than a decade later, like he was the

6:27 than a decade later, like he was the

6:27 than a decade later, like he was the first person to

6:36 just to help walk you through stuff. He

6:36 just to help walk you through stuff. He didn't let a lot of people do that for

6:37 didn't let a lot of people do that for

6:37 didn't let a lot of people do that for him. I'm blessed and

6:44 count my lucky stars every day for the

6:44 count my lucky stars every day for the rest of my life that I had a friend like

6:46 rest of my life that I had a friend like

6:46 rest of my life that I had a friend like that that I was there for and he was

6:48 that that I was there for and he was

6:48 that that I was there for and he was there for me.

6:50 there for me.

6:50 there for me. Um,

6:52 Um, and I want to be there for him now

6:54 and I want to be there for him now

6:54 and I want to be there for him now anyway I can. So, I've been doing small

6:57 anyway I can. So, I've been doing small

6:57 anyway I can. So, I've been doing small things that I could do and trying to

6:58 things that I could do and trying to

6:58 things that I could do and trying to tell people that

7:00 tell people that

7:00 tell people that he knew and loved, you know, just how

7:01 he knew and loved, you know, just how

7:02 he knew and loved, you know, just how much that I knew that he loved them.

7:04 much that I knew that he loved them.

7:04 much that I knew that he loved them. It's hard with Adam though because

7:05 It's hard with Adam though because

7:05 It's hard with Adam though because there's two Adams. There's Adam the Woo

7:08 there's two Adams. There's Adam the Woo

7:08 there's two Adams. There's Adam the Woo who sort of belongs to everyone. I mean,

7:09 who sort of belongs to everyone. I mean,

7:10 who sort of belongs to everyone. I mean, he belongs to the ages now, you know,

7:17 and and wanted it that way, right? And

7:17 and and wanted it that way, right? And then there's Adam Williams,

7:20 then there's Adam Williams,

7:20 then there's Adam Williams, the son, the brother, the friend who was

7:23 the son, the brother, the friend who was

7:23 the son, the brother, the friend who was really guarded about his privacy. Not

7:25 really guarded about his privacy. Not

7:25 really guarded about his privacy. Not that he was a different or bad guy

7:27 that he was a different or bad guy

7:27 that he was a different or bad guy behind the scenes or something, not that

7:29 behind the scenes or something, not that

7:29 behind the scenes or something, not that it was a character, but that he kept

7:31 it was a character, but that he kept

7:31 it was a character, but that he kept part of his life, maybe for sanity sake,

7:33 part of his life, maybe for sanity sake,

7:33 part of his life, maybe for sanity sake, right? when you open your whole life to

7:34 right? when you open your whole life to

7:34 right? when you open your whole life to the internet that you keep part of it

7:36 the internet that you keep part of it

7:36 the internet that you keep part of it back. He kept a lot of people in

7:38 back. He kept a lot of people in

7:38 back. He kept a lot of people in compartments and things

7:41 compartments and things

7:41 compartments and things like if you knew him at all, you know

7:42 like if you knew him at all, you know

7:42 like if you knew him at all, you know how hard it was to come through the

7:44 how hard it was to come through the

7:44 how hard it was to come through the layers and talk about life, death, the

7:45 layers and talk about life, death, the

7:45 layers and talk about life, death, the universe, you know, religion, all the

7:47 universe, you know, religion, all the

7:48 universe, you know, religion, all the things that are keep that private. And

7:50 things that are keep that private. And

7:50 things that are keep that private. And so, it's not like there were rules, but

7:53 so, it's not like there were rules, but

7:53 so, it's not like there were rules, but for those that were close to him, you

7:55 for those that were close to him, you

7:55 for those that were close to him, you know, there were unwritten rules of

7:56 know, there were unwritten rules of

7:56 know, there were unwritten rules of like, you know, if we were hanging out,

7:57 like, you know, if we were hanging out,

7:58 like, you know, if we were hanging out, don't post that till tomorrow. And you

7:59 don't post that till tomorrow. And you

7:59 don't post that till tomorrow. And you know,

8:02 know,

8:02 know, so it's awkward and uncomfortable

8:05 so it's awkward and uncomfortable

8:05 so it's awkward and uncomfortable to uh to break the news to people

8:07 to uh to break the news to people

8:07 to uh to break the news to people because

8:09 because

8:09 because he was so private and guarded about

8:11 he was so private and guarded about

8:11 he was so private and guarded about those things and it's it's hard to

8:13 those things and it's it's hard to

8:13 those things and it's it's hard to navigate now. Um I have talked to his

8:16 navigate now. Um I have talked to his

8:16 navigate now. Um I have talked to his family. I have relayed a lot of his last

8:19 family. I have relayed a lot of his last

8:19 family. I have relayed a lot of his last wishes because I was lucky enough that

8:21 wishes because I was lucky enough that

8:21 wishes because I was lucky enough that we talked about weirdly we talked about

8:23 we talked about weirdly we talked about

8:23 we talked about weirdly we talked about this a lot. We talked about it a lot.

8:25 this a lot. We talked about it a lot.

8:25 this a lot. We talked about it a lot. the serious side of it, what to do, who

8:28 the serious side of it, what to do, who

8:28 the serious side of it, what to do, who to call, delete the texts, you know, and

8:32 to call, delete the texts, you know, and

8:32 to call, delete the texts, you know, and um and also we joked about it a lot.

8:37 um and also we joked about it a lot.

8:37 um and also we joked about it a lot. Something that's been like uh [snorts]

8:39 Something that's been like uh [snorts]

8:40 Something that's been like uh [snorts] weirdly comforting is that I know that I

8:42 weirdly comforting is that I know that I

8:42 weirdly comforting is that I know that I know the parts of this that he called he

8:45 know the parts of this that he called he

8:45 know the parts of this that he called he called it and would just be having a fit

8:48 called it and would just be having a fit

8:48 called it and would just be having a fit laughing about it.

8:51 laughing about it.

8:51 laughing about it. And the other thing comforting thing is

8:54 And the other thing comforting thing is

8:54 And the other thing comforting thing is you know I can tell you he passed away

8:57 you know I can tell you he passed away

8:57 you know I can tell you he passed away in his sleep. Natural causes they

9:00 in his sleep. Natural causes they

9:00 in his sleep. Natural causes they haven't sorted out exactly the exact

9:01 haven't sorted out exactly the exact

9:01 haven't sorted out exactly the exact medical definition in the thing

9:05 medical definition in the thing

9:05 medical definition in the thing but he went peacefully. He spent the day

9:07 but he went peacefully. He spent the day

9:07 but he went peacefully. He spent the day before. Sorry got a mint in my mouth.

9:10 before. Sorry got a mint in my mouth.

9:10 before. Sorry got a mint in my mouth. I'm choking on here.

9:13 I'm choking on here.

9:13 I'm choking on here. Spent the day before with friends and

9:14 Spent the day before with friends and

9:14 Spent the day before with friends and laughing and doing doing just having a

9:17 laughing and doing doing just having a

9:17 laughing and doing doing just having a great day. And there's more to say about

9:21 great day. And there's more to say about

9:21 great day. And there's more to say about um Adam and

9:25 um Adam and

9:25 um Adam and what happened and what's going to happen

9:26 what happened and what's going to happen

9:26 what happened and what's going to happen at the right time,

9:29 at the right time,

9:29 at the right time, but I've been reaching for my phone

9:31 but I've been reaching for my phone

9:31 but I've been reaching for my phone every

9:33 every

9:33 every 20 minutes or something. you know, that

9:36 20 minutes or something. you know, that

9:36 20 minutes or something. you know, that TMZ thing popped up or People magazine

9:40 TMZ thing popped up or People magazine

9:40 TMZ thing popped up or People magazine or um without naming names, some people

9:44 or um without naming names, some people

9:44 or um without naming names, some people that I know Adam looked up to really

9:46 that I know Adam looked up to really

9:46 that I know Adam looked up to really highly,

9:47 highly,

9:47 highly, heroes of his reached out.

9:51 heroes of his reached out.

9:51 heroes of his reached out. Every 20 minutes I was going to pick up

9:53 Every 20 minutes I was going to pick up

9:53 Every 20 minutes I was going to pick up my phone and tell him tell him about it

9:56 my phone and tell him tell him about it

9:56 my phone and tell him tell him about it because that's the person he was in my

9:57 because that's the person he was in my

9:57 because that's the person he was in my life.

9:59 life.

9:59 life. And uh everybody keeps asking me how I'm

10:03 And uh everybody keeps asking me how I'm

10:03 And uh everybody keeps asking me how I'm doing and I don't want to think about

10:04 doing and I don't want to think about

10:04 doing and I don't want to think about it.

10:05 it.

10:05 it. because it feels selfish, you know? It

10:07 because it feels selfish, you know? It

10:07 because it feels selfish, you know? It feels selfish when you lose someone to

10:08 feels selfish when you lose someone to

10:08 feels selfish when you lose someone to even think about yourself. I want to be

10:10 even think about yourself. I want to be

10:10 even think about yourself. I want to be useful is what I want to do. And I can't

10:12 useful is what I want to do. And I can't

10:12 useful is what I want to do. And I can't right now. We're in that time period,

10:13 right now. We're in that time period,

10:13 right now. We're in that time period, that lull between

10:16 that lull between

10:16 that lull between first shock, first things that need to

10:18 first shock, first things that need to

10:18 first shock, first things that need to be done, and then laying your friend to

10:20 be done, and then laying your friend to

10:20 be done, and then laying your friend to rest. What we're supposed to be doing

10:22 rest. What we're supposed to be doing

10:22 rest. What we're supposed to be doing now

10:24 now

10:24 now is grieving and trying to wrap our heads

10:26 is grieving and trying to wrap our heads

10:26 is grieving and trying to wrap our heads around this.

10:28 around this.

10:28 around this. And you know like like Gandalf said, I

10:31 And you know like like Gandalf said, I

10:31 And you know like like Gandalf said, I will not say do not weep for not all

10:33 will not say do not weep for not all

10:33 will not say do not weep for not all tears are in evil.

10:37 tears are in evil.

10:37 tears are in evil. But

10:43 as much as uh you know

10:43 as much as uh you know [snorts] there's a time to rejoice and a

10:45 [snorts] there's a time to rejoice and a

10:45 [snorts] there's a time to rejoice and a time to mourn to everything there is a

10:47 time to mourn to everything there is a

10:48 time to mourn to everything there is a season.

10:53 The world keeps turning. Sun keeps going

10:53 The world keeps turning. Sun keeps going up and down. And at some point,

10:57 up and down. And at some point,

10:57 up and down. And at some point, I got to listen to that voice in my

11:00 I got to listen to that voice in my

11:00 I got to listen to that voice in my head. It comes from

11:07 just the best big brother that I could

11:07 just the best big brother that I could have had. I didn't have one growing up.

11:15 Um, a big brother whose shadow I will always

11:18 a big brother whose shadow I will always

11:18 a big brother whose shadow I will always be in. You know, I got to listen to that

11:21 be in. You know, I got to listen to that

11:21 be in. You know, I got to listen to that voice in my head said, "Get the heck

11:23 voice in my head said, "Get the heck

11:23 voice in my head said, "Get the heck up." He wouldn't have said heck either.

11:26 up." He wouldn't have said heck either.

11:26 up." He wouldn't have said heck either. I'm [snorts] Adam the wooing it for you.

11:30 I'm [snorts] Adam the wooing it for you.

11:30 I'm [snorts] Adam the wooing it for you. Um,

11:31 Um, but I don't know how, you know, not

11:34 but I don't know how, you know, not

11:34 but I don't know how, you know, not [laughter] going to

11:36 [laughter] going to

11:36 [laughter] going to I'm not going to run down to the park

11:37 I'm not going to run down to the park

11:37 I'm not going to run down to the park and be like, "Here we are in the teacup

11:39 and be like, "Here we are in the teacup

11:39 and be like, "Here we are in the teacup stuff."

11:41 stuff."

11:41 stuff." And yet, that's what he would have

11:42 And yet, that's what he would have

11:42 And yet, that's what he would have wanted. Get up. Go do this. Monetize it.

11:46 wanted. Get up. Go do this. Monetize it.

11:46 wanted. Get up. Go do this. Monetize it. You know what are you doing?

11:50 You know what are you doing?

11:50 You know what are you doing? He was a pro, man. He was a pro at

11:52 He was a pro, man. He was a pro at

11:52 He was a pro, man. He was a pro at everything he did. He gave 110%. He'd go

11:55 everything he did. He gave 110%. He'd go

11:55 everything he did. He gave 110%. He'd go in with both feet. When we were

11:57 in with both feet. When we were

11:57 in with both feet. When we were switching from soda to coffee, something

12:00 switching from soda to coffee, something

12:00 switching from soda to coffee, something that I really dragged my feet on, but we

12:02 that I really dragged my feet on, but we

12:02 that I really dragged my feet on, but we both talked about for many years. We

12:03 both talked about for many years. We

12:03 both talked about for many years. We were both hooked on the Mountain Dew.

12:06 were both hooked on the Mountain Dew.

12:06 were both hooked on the Mountain Dew. That was the drink of choice. We were

12:09 That was the drink of choice. We were

12:09 That was the drink of choice. We were like Mountain Dew brothers, right? And

12:11 like Mountain Dew brothers, right? And

12:11 like Mountain Dew brothers, right? And when he switched over to coffee, it's

12:12 when he switched over to coffee, it's

12:12 when he switched over to coffee, it's like he went all the way in. Ironically,

12:16 like he went all the way in. Ironically,

12:16 like he went all the way in. Ironically, Starbucks was like his least favorite

12:17 Starbucks was like his least favorite

12:17 Starbucks was like his least favorite forever. It took moving to Celebration

12:19 forever. It took moving to Celebration

12:19 forever. It took moving to Celebration and it just being right downstairs from

12:20 and it just being right downstairs from

12:20 and it just being right downstairs from his apartment. Like, ah, I found a few

12:23 his apartment. Like, ah, I found a few

12:23 his apartment. Like, ah, I found a few ways to drink it. That was before he

12:25 ways to drink it. That was before he

12:25 ways to drink it. That was before he discovered the latte. Once he started

12:27 discovered the latte. Once he started

12:27 discovered the latte. Once he started drinking the lattes, he's like, "You got

12:28 drinking the lattes, he's like, "You got

12:28 drinking the lattes, he's like, "You got to try it. Vanilla latte. Vanilla

12:29 to try it. Vanilla latte. Vanilla

12:29 to try it. Vanilla latte. Vanilla latte." Just went and got one a minute

12:32 latte." Just went and got one a minute

12:32 latte." Just went and got one a minute ago. I was walking around over there. He

12:35 ago. I was walking around over there. He

12:35 ago. I was walking around over there. He did everything 100,000%. And like like

12:38 did everything 100,000%. And like like

12:38 did everything 100,000%. And like like an older brother would do. He's like,

12:40 an older brother would do. He's like,

12:40 an older brother would do. He's like, "I'm going to be the guy. I'm gonna be

12:41 "I'm going to be the guy. I'm gonna be

12:41 "I'm going to be the guy. I'm gonna be the orange circle guy." I was like,

12:43 the orange circle guy." I was like,

12:43 the orange circle guy." I was like, "Dude, I can't freaking ever be drinking

12:45 "Dude, I can't freaking ever be drinking

12:45 "Dude, I can't freaking ever be drinking a coffee." And somebody walks up to me,

12:46 a coffee." And somebody walks up to me,

12:46 a coffee." And somebody walks up to me, goes, "Aren't you Adam's friend? You got

12:47 goes, "Aren't you Adam's friend? You got

12:48 goes, "Aren't you Adam's friend? You got your piping hot." He would just belly

12:49 your piping hot." He would just belly

12:50 your piping hot." He would just belly laugh. Dude, you like that? It made it

12:52 laugh. Dude, you like that? It made it

12:52 laugh. Dude, you like that? It made it my thing.

12:54 my thing.

12:54 my thing. And now think about like

12:57 And now think about like

12:57 And now think about like hundreds of thousands of people who can

12:59 hundreds of thousands of people who can

12:59 hundreds of thousands of people who can [laughter]

13:00 [laughter]

13:00 [laughter] never grab a coffee again without

13:04 never grab a coffee again without

13:04 never grab a coffee again without thinking about piping hot

13:07 thinking about piping hot

13:07 thinking about piping hot caffeinated beverage.

13:15 He was just texting me about um talking

13:15 He was just texting me about um talking to me about where we need to meet up and

13:17 to me about where we need to meet up and

13:17 to me about where we need to meet up and this and that. He's always trying to

13:18 this and that. He's always trying to

13:18 this and that. He's always trying to drag me out. [snorts]

13:21 drag me out. [snorts]

13:21 drag me out. [snorts] We got to do this so much road tripping

13:22 We got to do this so much road tripping

13:22 We got to do this so much road tripping together next year, bro. I'm doing this.

13:24 together next year, bro. I'm doing this.

13:24 together next year, bro. I'm doing this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do

13:25 I'm going to do this. I'm going to do

13:25 I'm going to do this. I'm going to do I'm going to do everything. I'm going to

13:26 I'm going to do everything. I'm going to

13:26 I'm going to do everything. I'm going to be the ultimate US highway guy, dude.

13:28 be the ultimate US highway guy, dude.

13:28 be the ultimate US highway guy, dude. I'm going to own it. And he would. I've

13:31 I'm going to own it. And he would. I've

13:31 I'm going to own it. And he would. I've never seen a person so psychotically

13:36 never seen a person so psychotically

13:36 never seen a person so psychotically inspiringly driven.

13:40 inspiringly driven.

13:40 inspiringly driven. He'd always say, "Stop thinking about it

13:42 He'd always say, "Stop thinking about it

13:42 He'd always say, "Stop thinking about it and do it. Stop talking about it and do

13:44 and do it. Stop talking about it and do

13:44 and do it. Stop talking about it and do it. Just do it."

13:46 it. Just do it."

13:46 it. Just do it." He'd make these little weird goals and

13:48 He'd make these little weird goals and

13:48 He'd make these little weird goals and plans. Some of them would come to

13:50 plans. Some of them would come to

13:50 plans. Some of them would come to nothing. Some of them were [snorts]

13:51 nothing. Some of them were [snorts]

13:51 nothing. Some of them were [snorts] like, "Ah, I changed my mind. I really

13:52 like, "Ah, I changed my mind. I really

13:52 like, "Ah, I changed my mind. I really didn't think that one through." But the

13:54 didn't think that one through." But the

13:54 didn't think that one through." But the stuff that he would start and that's why

13:56 stuff that he would start and that's why

13:56 stuff that he would start and that's why he put so much of himself and his life

13:59 he put so much of himself and his life

13:59 he put so much of himself and his life online and shared so much of that stuff

14:02 online and shared so much of that stuff

14:02 online and shared so much of that stuff because it would like hold his feet to

14:03 because it would like hold his feet to

14:03 because it would like hold his feet to the fire and he would go crazy. Like

14:06 the fire and he would go crazy. Like

14:06 the fire and he would go crazy. Like when he started the daily thing, he

14:07 when he started the daily thing, he

14:07 when he started the daily thing, he always said, "I'm going to go 5 years.

14:09 always said, "I'm going to go 5 years.

14:09 always said, "I'm going to go 5 years. I'm never going to stop for 5 years."

14:10 I'm never going to stop for 5 years."

14:10 I'm never going to stop for 5 years." And he didn't for 5 years. Then he was

14:13 And he didn't for 5 years. Then he was

14:13 And he didn't for 5 years. Then he was like, "I'm going to stop forever." Then

14:13 like, "I'm going to stop forever." Then

14:13 like, "I'm going to stop forever." Then he dipped back in.

14:17 he dipped back in.

14:17 he dipped back in. Anyway, I have so many stories and so

14:19 Anyway, I have so many stories and so

14:19 Anyway, I have so many stories and so many memories. There's so many things

14:20 many memories. There's so many things

14:20 many memories. There's so many things that I want to share.

14:23 that I want to share.

14:23 that I want to share. so many things that he did that inspired

14:25 so many things that he did that inspired

14:25 so many things that he did that inspired me and so many generous kind deeds

14:28 me and so many generous kind deeds

14:28 me and so many generous kind deeds behind the scenes and things. Some of

14:29 behind the scenes and things. Some of

14:29 behind the scenes and things. Some of them are other people's stories that

14:31 them are other people's stories that

14:31 them are other people's stories that they'll be telling and and I just

14:33 they'll be telling and and I just

14:33 they'll be telling and and I just haven't wrapped my head around it

14:36 haven't wrapped my head around it

14:36 haven't wrapped my head around it at all. And uh like I said, there's

14:39 at all. And uh like I said, there's

14:39 at all. And uh like I said, there's nothing to do.

14:41 nothing to do.

14:41 nothing to do. How do you go on?

14:48 Especially of this like it's such a

14:48 Especially of this like it's such a weird life that I have and I have this

14:51 weird life that I have and I have this

14:52 weird life that I have and I have this weird life because of Adam

14:54 weird life because of Adam

14:54 weird life because of Adam when he started making the videos like

14:56 when he started making the videos like

14:56 when he started making the videos like uh

14:58 uh from the day he started because I was

15:00 from the day he started because I was

15:00 from the day he started because I was making different stupid videos with

15:01 making different stupid videos with

15:01 making different stupid videos with friends or for other people like dude

15:05 friends or for other people like dude

15:05 friends or for other people like dude you got to be on camera. I just quit my

15:07 you got to be on camera. I just quit my

15:07 you got to be on camera. I just quit my band dude. I just don't want to be a

15:08 band dude. I just don't want to be a

15:08 band dude. I just don't want to be a front man. I don't want to put my face

15:10 front man. I don't want to put my face

15:10 front man. I don't want to put my face out there and whatever. He's like,

15:12 out there and whatever. He's like,

15:12 out there and whatever. He's like, "Dude, I just wouldn't stop." I wrote

15:14 "Dude, I just wouldn't stop." I wrote

15:14 "Dude, I just wouldn't stop." I wrote about it in the book. I'm glad I did

15:15 about it in the book. I'm glad I did

15:15 about it in the book. I'm glad I did now. I'm glad I wrote some of the stuff

15:16 now. I'm glad I wrote some of the stuff

15:16 now. I'm glad I wrote some of the stuff down. I need to write more stuff down

15:20 down. I need to write more stuff down

15:20 down. I need to write more stuff down [snorts] just so I don't forget

15:23 [snorts] just so I don't forget

15:23 [snorts] just so I don't forget because that's the thing, like I've

15:24 because that's the thing, like I've

15:24 because that's the thing, like I've always been bad at remembering certain

15:27 always been bad at remembering certain

15:27 always been bad at remembering certain stuff. And then after 2018, I had that

15:28 stuff. And then after 2018, I had that

15:28 stuff. And then after 2018, I had that concussion. And I have a hard time

15:31 concussion. And I have a hard time

15:31 concussion. And I have a hard time pulling up memories on demand,

15:34 pulling up memories on demand,

15:34 pulling up memories on demand, names and dates and people's names I

15:37 names and dates and people's names I

15:37 names and dates and people's names I forget all the time. and uh stuff and

15:41 forget all the time. and uh stuff and

15:41 forget all the time. and uh stuff and I'm so I'm just so scared. He's like,

15:43 I'm so I'm just so scared. He's like,

15:43 I'm so I'm just so scared. He's like, you know what happens when you lose

15:44 you know what happens when you lose

15:44 you know what happens when you lose someone? It's that um they start to

15:48 someone? It's that um they start to

15:48 someone? It's that um they start to fade, right? You know, little things

15:50 fade, right? You know, little things

15:50 fade, right? You know, little things start to slip your mind and

15:56 it's like I want to hold on to like

15:56 it's like I want to hold on to like everything, you know? So, all I've been

15:58 everything, you know? So, all I've been

15:58 everything, you know? So, all I've been doing is playing things over in my head

16:00 doing is playing things over in my head

16:00 doing is playing things over in my head and and then of course he was so huge

16:04 and and then of course he was so huge

16:04 and and then of course he was so huge to the world at this point. I'm just

16:08 to the world at this point. I'm just

16:08 to the world at this point. I'm just being tagged in 15 years of

16:18 memories and stupid stuff and funny

16:18 memories and stupid stuff and funny skits and stupid moments that that just

16:20 skits and stupid moments that that just

16:20 skits and stupid moments that that just mean so much to me now. And that's the

16:23 mean so much to me now. And that's the

16:23 mean so much to me now. And that's the good thing is that he's got [laughter]

16:25 good thing is that he's got [laughter]

16:25 good thing is that he's got [laughter] so much of his life is like as he would

16:28 so much of his life is like as he would

16:28 so much of his life is like as he would have put it documented.

16:36 He would always say like, you know,

16:36 He would always say like, you know, before that ship had sailed for him,

16:37 before that ship had sailed for him,

16:38 before that ship had sailed for him, he'd always say like, you know, if I

16:39 he'd always say like, you know, if I

16:40 he'd always say like, you know, if I ever have a kid, that way they're gonna

16:41 ever have a kid, that way they're gonna

16:41 ever have a kid, that way they're gonna see like everything I ever did. He's

16:43 see like everything I ever did. He's

16:43 see like everything I ever did. He's like, this way my mom and dad can see

16:44 like, this way my mom and dad can see

16:44 like, this way my mom and dad can see all the wacky adventures I have. And he

16:47 all the wacky adventures I have. And he

16:47 all the wacky adventures I have. And he always said, you know, one day when I'm

16:49 always said, you know, one day when I'm

16:49 always said, you know, one day when I'm retired, I've disappeared from the

16:50 retired, I've disappeared from the

16:50 retired, I've disappeared from the internet and nobody's watching those

16:52 internet and nobody's watching those

16:52 internet and nobody's watching those videos anymore. I'll be an old man in my

16:54 videos anymore. I'll be an old man in my

16:54 videos anymore. I'll be an old man in my hospital bed. When when I have

16:56 hospital bed. When when I have

16:56 hospital bed. When when I have Alzheimer's and I can't remember

16:57 Alzheimer's and I can't remember

16:57 Alzheimer's and I can't remember anything, I'll be able to go back and

16:59 anything, I'll be able to go back and

16:59 anything, I'll be able to go back and I'll be able to relive all this stuff

17:01 I'll be able to relive all this stuff

17:01 I'll be able to relive all this stuff and watch all this stuff.

17:08 I like to think I like to think he's

17:08 I like to think I like to think he's doing it now.

17:15 And there's a lot to say about what Adam

17:15 And there's a lot to say about what Adam believed and um how he felt about things

17:20 believed and um how he felt about things

17:20 believed and um how he felt about things and a lot that will never be said and a

17:22 and a lot that will never be said and a

17:22 and a lot that will never be said and a lot that probably needs to be said at

17:23 lot that probably needs to be said at

17:24 lot that probably needs to be said at some at the right time.

17:26 some at the right time.

17:26 some at the right time. >> [snorts]

17:26 >> [snorts]

17:26 >> [snorts] >> because he really did have strong very

17:30 >> because he really did have strong very

17:30 >> because he really did have strong very private beliefs and so it's

17:37 some of that will wait for his memorial

17:37 some of that will wait for his memorial and there will be a memorial and there

17:38 and there will be a memorial and there

17:38 and there will be a memorial and there will be probably a West Coast thing but

17:41 will be probably a West Coast thing but

17:41 will be probably a West Coast thing but one step at a time you know um and it's

17:44 one step at a time you know um and it's

17:44 one step at a time you know um and it's hard not to rush in as his friends and

17:48 hard not to rush in as his friends and

17:48 hard not to rush in as his friends and want to do everything and to go we're

17:51 want to do everything and to go we're

17:51 want to do everything and to go we're going to have this event we're going to

17:52 going to have this event we're going to

17:52 going to have this event we're going to have a candle light we're going to have

17:53 have a candle light we're going to have

17:53 have a candle light we're going to have that we're going to have all this stuff

17:54 that we're going to have all this stuff

17:54 that we're going to have all this stuff and it's like you just pace ourselves

17:55 and it's like you just pace ourselves

17:55 and it's like you just pace ourselves because

17:57 because the most important people to Adam, the

17:59 the most important people to Adam, the

17:59 the most important people to Adam, the most important people, the people that

18:01 most important people, the people that

18:01 most important people, the people that he could not stop talking about if you

18:03 he could not stop talking about if you

18:03 he could not stop talking about if you were close with them was his family. He

18:05 were close with them was his family. He

18:05 were close with them was his family. He loved his mom and dad so much.

18:10 loved his mom and dad so much.

18:10 loved his mom and dad so much. Always worried about taking care of

18:12 Always worried about taking care of

18:12 Always worried about taking care of them. That's a big part of his um

18:16 them. That's a big part of his um

18:16 them. That's a big part of his um like work ethic. Can you put me on?

18:21 like work ethic. Can you put me on?

18:21 like work ethic. Can you put me on? >> Huge part of like his motivation for

18:24 >> Huge part of like his motivation for

18:24 >> Huge part of like his motivation for just doing stuff and for never never

18:26 just doing stuff and for never never

18:26 just doing stuff and for never never stopping. Even when he, you know, had

18:29 stopping. Even when he, you know, had

18:29 stopping. Even when he, you know, had already bought his house, he could have

18:30 already bought his house, he could have

18:30 already bought his house, he could have taken a lot of a lot more breaks than he

18:32 taken a lot of a lot more breaks than he

18:32 taken a lot of a lot more breaks than he did. He could have taken a lot more

18:34 did. He could have taken a lot more

18:34 did. He could have taken a lot more personal time than he did.

18:35 personal time than he did.

18:35 personal time than he did. >> But in addition to um to loving what he

18:38 >> But in addition to um to loving what he

18:38 >> But in addition to um to loving what he did so much and

18:40 did so much and

18:40 did so much and really being dedicated to um

18:44 really being dedicated to um

18:44 really being dedicated to um all the people that reciprocated, right?

18:46 all the people that reciprocated, right?

18:46 all the people that reciprocated, right? like uh all the people that enjoyed what

18:49 like uh all the people that enjoyed what

18:49 like uh all the people that enjoyed what he did. He was really driven to keep

18:50 he did. He was really driven to keep

18:50 he did. He was really driven to keep working to um

18:54 working to um

18:54 working to um to save up and to just to know that he

18:56 to save up and to just to know that he

18:56 to save up and to just to know that he would be able to take care of his mom

18:57 would be able to take care of his mom

18:57 would be able to take care of his mom and dad. That was a huge thing. His mom

19:00 and dad. That was a huge thing. His mom

19:00 and dad. That was a huge thing. His mom and his dad and his sister were like

19:03 and his dad and his sister were like

19:03 and his dad and his sister were like everything to him. Like his pride and

19:04 everything to him. Like his pride and

19:04 everything to him. Like his pride and joy, everything. When his sister got

19:07 joy, everything. When his sister got

19:07 joy, everything. When his sister got married, it's all he could talk about.

19:10 married, it's all he could talk about.

19:10 married, it's all he could talk about. You know, his mom and dad moved to a new

19:11 You know, his mom and dad moved to a new

19:11 You know, his mom and dad moved to a new place. Oh, they did this and this. Or

19:13 place. Oh, they did this and this. Or

19:13 place. Oh, they did this and this. Or every time you go home from Christmas,

19:14 every time you go home from Christmas,

19:14 every time you go home from Christmas, oh, my mom decorated this and this. I

19:15 oh, my mom decorated this and this. I

19:15 oh, my mom decorated this and this. I mean, picture

19:18 mean, picture

19:18 mean, picture and he did everything he could to

19:20 and he did everything he could to

19:20 and he did everything he could to protect them from, you know,

19:24 protect them from, you know,

19:24 protect them from, you know, parts of his life and to uh to take care

19:27 parts of his life and to uh to take care

19:27 parts of his life and to uh to take care of them. And

19:29 of them. And

19:29 of them. And this is the worst time for them. And

19:31 this is the worst time for them. And

19:31 this is the worst time for them. And like I've said on Instagram and stuff,

19:33 like I've said on Instagram and stuff,

19:33 like I've said on Instagram and stuff, like

19:35 like

19:35 like if you're of a praying persuasion at

19:37 if you're of a praying persuasion at

19:37 if you're of a praying persuasion at all, please pray for them. Jim, June,

19:41 all, please pray for them. Jim, June,

19:41 all, please pray for them. Jim, June, Faith,

19:44 Faith,

19:44 Faith, because they're the ones who need it.

19:46 because they're the ones who need it.

19:46 because they're the ones who need it. Adam's all right.

19:48 Adam's all right.

19:48 Adam's all right. You know, I know my friend's okay.

19:56 It's all the the people that get left

19:56 It's all the the people that get left behind

19:59 behind

19:59 behind that have to find the edges of the hole

20:02 that have to find the edges of the hole

20:02 that have to find the edges of the hole and try to climb out. Um, a hole, by the

20:06 and try to climb out. Um, a hole, by the

20:06 and try to climb out. Um, a hole, by the way, that can never be filled.

20:11 >> [snorts] >> And it's difficult

20:14 >> And it's difficult

20:14 >> And it's difficult to have been really really close because

20:17 to have been really really close because

20:17 to have been really really close because he did keep things compartmentalized.

20:21 he did keep things compartmentalized.

20:21 he did keep things compartmentalized. He did keep a lot of things really

20:23 He did keep a lot of things really

20:23 He did keep a lot of things really private

20:25 private

20:26 private and uh and no and one thing he hated

20:30 and uh and no and one thing he hated

20:30 and uh and no and one thing he hated hated

20:31 hated

20:32 hated was anyone speaking for him, right? Like

20:34 was anyone speaking for him, right? Like

20:34 was anyone speaking for him, right? Like if Adam wasn't there, you're like, "Oh

20:36 if Adam wasn't there, you're like, "Oh

20:36 if Adam wasn't there, you're like, "Oh yeah, Adam Adam will go to that. Yeah,

20:38 yeah, Adam Adam will go to that. Yeah,

20:38 yeah, Adam Adam will go to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll speak for Adam. He'll

20:39 yeah, yeah. I'll speak for Adam. He'll

20:39 yeah, yeah. I'll speak for Adam. He'll go to Denny's later." No.

20:43 go to Denny's later." No.

20:43 go to Denny's later." No. [laughter]

20:44 [laughter] He He hated that. It It could be the

20:47 He He hated that. It It could be the

20:47 He He hated that. It It could be the littlest thing. Don't promise for me.

20:49 littlest thing. Don't promise for me.

20:50 littlest thing. Don't promise for me. Right.

20:51 Right.

20:51 Right. He'd get irritated and and he also would

20:55 He'd get irritated and and he also would

20:55 He'd get irritated and and he also would get irritated if anybody like uh you

20:57 get irritated if anybody like uh you

20:58 get irritated if anybody like uh you know everybody's going to want to run in

20:59 know everybody's going to want to run in

20:59 know everybody's going to want to run in and do their own things and pay their

21:00 and do their own things and pay their

21:00 and do their own things and pay their own tributes to him, but he hated he he

21:02 own tributes to him, but he hated he he

21:02 own tributes to him, but he hated he he hated when people go I did this thing

21:03 hated when people go I did this thing

21:04 hated when people go I did this thing for you. Like if anybody told him like

21:06 for you. Like if anybody told him like

21:06 for you. Like if anybody told him like yeah I'm the Adam the woo of dot dot

21:08 yeah I'm the Adam the woo of dot dot

21:08 yeah I'm the Adam the woo of dot dot dot. He he just get irrit irritated,

21:10 dot. He he just get irrit irritated,

21:10 dot. He he just get irrit irritated, right? like he wouldn't want anyone

21:13 right? like he wouldn't want anyone

21:13 right? like he wouldn't want anyone speaking for him uh you using his voice

21:16 speaking for him uh you using his voice

21:16 speaking for him uh you using his voice but himself and and take this as

21:20 but himself and and take this as

21:20 but himself and and take this as encouragement. He wouldn't want anyone

21:21 encouragement. He wouldn't want anyone

21:22 encouragement. He wouldn't want anyone trying to fill his shoes.

21:25 trying to fill his shoes.

21:25 trying to fill his shoes. what Adam liked and what he encouraged

21:27 what Adam liked and what he encouraged

21:27 what Adam liked and what he encouraged everyone that was in his life to do. I

21:29 everyone that was in his life to do. I

21:29 everyone that was in his life to do. I mean, it's not someone he would meet

21:30 mean, it's not someone he would meet

21:30 mean, it's not someone he would meet that day to people he literally didn't

21:33 that day to people he literally didn't

21:33 that day to people he literally didn't like all that much, but he always

21:34 like all that much, but he always

21:34 like all that much, but he always believed in being kind and supportive

21:37 believed in being kind and supportive

21:37 believed in being kind and supportive and all that. What he would tell us all

21:41 and all that. What he would tell us all

21:41 and all that. What he would tell us all on a regular basis was just, "Dude, do

21:44 on a regular basis was just, "Dude, do

21:44 on a regular basis was just, "Dude, do your own thing. Own it.

21:47 your own thing. Own it.

21:47 your own thing. Own it. [sighs and gasps]

21:48 [sighs and gasps]

21:48 [sighs and gasps] Whatever it is that makes you you,

21:49 Whatever it is that makes you you,

21:50 Whatever it is that makes you you, whatever it is that makes you different,

21:51 whatever it is that makes you different,

21:51 whatever it is that makes you different, whatever it is that's your own spin on

21:53 whatever it is that's your own spin on

21:53 whatever it is that's your own spin on something, whatever it is that makes you

21:56 something, whatever it is that makes you

21:56 something, whatever it is that makes you special or that you're passionate about,

21:59 special or that you're passionate about,

21:59 special or that you're passionate about, that's the thing he'd want us to do.

22:01 that's the thing he'd want us to do.

22:01 that's the thing he'd want us to do. That's the that's the legacy of Adam.

22:03 That's the that's the legacy of Adam.

22:03 That's the that's the legacy of Adam. You look at all the friends that he's

22:04 You look at all the friends that he's

22:04 You look at all the friends that he's made or look at all the people that he

22:05 made or look at all the people that he

22:05 made or look at all the people that he would film with in his videos and stuff

22:07 would film with in his videos and stuff

22:07 would film with in his videos and stuff like that. I'm telling you, people that

22:09 like that. I'm telling you, people that

22:09 like that. I'm telling you, people that he barely knew sometimes, people that

22:11 he barely knew sometimes, people that

22:11 he barely knew sometimes, people that were close sometimes, people that were

22:13 were close sometimes, people that were

22:13 were close sometimes, people that were half in, half out with him sometimes.

22:15 half in, half out with him sometimes.

22:15 half in, half out with him sometimes. He'd break bread with him, make us do

22:17 He'd break bread with him, make us do

22:17 He'd break bread with him, make us do like a stupid chili dog video or uh, you

22:20 like a stupid chili dog video or uh, you

22:20 like a stupid chili dog video or uh, you know, go on some adventure with him

22:22 know, go on some adventure with him

22:22 know, go on some adventure with him because he really believed in

22:23 because he really believed in

22:23 because he really believed in encouraging people

22:26 encouraging people

22:26 encouraging people [sighs and gasps]

22:26 [sighs and gasps] to come up with something and to be 100%

22:30 to come up with something and to be 100%

22:30 to come up with something and to be 100% that thing just the way that he was.

22:34 that thing just the way that he was.

22:34 that thing just the way that he was. And that's like his legacy. Like he did

22:36 And that's like his legacy. Like he did

22:36 And that's like his legacy. Like he did that for hundreds and hundreds of

22:38 that for hundreds and hundreds of

22:38 that for hundreds and hundreds of people. That's why it's been so

22:39 people. That's why it's been so

22:39 people. That's why it's been so difficult to get a hold of everyone or

22:41 difficult to get a hold of everyone or

22:41 difficult to get a hold of everyone or even I still haven't even finished just

22:43 even I still haven't even finished just

22:43 even I still haven't even finished just trying to get a hold of people that I

22:44 trying to get a hold of people that I

22:44 trying to get a hold of people that I know that he loved and cared about and

22:46 know that he loved and cared about and

22:46 know that he loved and cared about and was interested in and always telling you

22:47 was interested in and always telling you

22:47 was interested in and always telling you like one thing

22:49 like one thing

22:49 like one thing I know Micah um had the same thing in

22:53 I know Micah um had the same thing in

22:53 I know Micah um had the same thing in Florida like if you look through your

22:55 Florida like if you look through your

22:55 Florida like if you look through your phone and you're close with Adam there's

22:58 phone and you're close with Adam there's

22:58 phone and you're close with Adam there's so many pictures I have of Adam with

23:00 so many pictures I have of Adam with

23:00 so many pictures I have of Adam with other people because anybody he'd hang

23:02 other people because anybody he'd hang

23:02 other people because anybody he'd hang out with and get stuck dude check out

23:03 out with and get stuck dude check out

23:04 out with and get stuck dude check out who I'm hanging out with today. He was

23:05 who I'm hanging out with today. He was

23:05 who I'm hanging out with today. He was so proud of his friends and so proud of

23:08 so proud of his friends and so proud of

23:08 so proud of his friends and so proud of all these people that he had been like,

23:10 all these people that he had been like,

23:10 all these people that he had been like, "Dude, you should do a channel." I just

23:12 "Dude, you should do a channel." I just

23:12 "Dude, you should do a channel." I just met up with a friend of mine in the

23:12 met up with a friend of mine in the

23:12 met up with a friend of mine in the Orange Circle who works here and then

23:14 Orange Circle who works here and then

23:14 Orange Circle who works here and then teaching you and Adam would be like,

23:16 teaching you and Adam would be like,

23:16 teaching you and Adam would be like, "Dude, you got to do it." Ah, no one's

23:18 "Dude, you got to do it." Ah, no one's

23:18 "Dude, you got to do it." Ah, no one's watching this. You know, there's only

23:19 watching this. You know, there's only

23:19 watching this. You know, there's only five people. Who cares? Five people.

23:21 five people. Who cares? Five people.

23:21 five people. Who cares? Five people. That's awesome. Adam was the first

23:23 That's awesome. Adam was the first

23:23 That's awesome. Adam was the first person at a show before videos. Take

23:26 person at a show before videos. Take

23:26 person at a show before videos. Take videos completely out of it. Take

23:27 videos completely out of it. Take

23:27 videos completely out of it. Take YouTube out of it. Monetization, any

23:29 YouTube out of it. Monetization, any

23:29 YouTube out of it. Monetization, any fame, fortune, glory, any take it all

23:31 fame, fortune, glory, any take it all

23:31 fame, fortune, glory, any take it all away. when we were in two horrible

23:33 away. when we were in two horrible

23:33 away. when we were in two horrible crappy punk bands touring around on a

23:36 crappy punk bands touring around on a

23:36 crappy punk bands touring around on a tour that had no promotion, nobody was

23:39 tour that had no promotion, nobody was

23:39 tour that had no promotion, nobody was coming to and that accidentally got

23:40 coming to and that accidentally got

23:40 coming to and that accidentally got booked like one day behind or ahead of

23:43 booked like one day behind or ahead of

23:43 booked like one day behind or ahead of warp tour everywhere we went. So, nobody

23:44 warp tour everywhere we went. So, nobody

23:44 warp tour everywhere we went. So, nobody was coming to these shows, right? And we

23:47 was coming to these shows, right? And we

23:47 was coming to these shows, right? And we get to some place in the middle of

23:48 get to some place in the middle of

23:48 get to some place in the middle of Kentucky

23:50 Kentucky

23:50 Kentucky and there's 10 15 kids there when we

23:52 and there's 10 15 kids there when we

23:52 and there's 10 15 kids there when we show up. He would be stoked. He would be

23:56 show up. He would be stoked. He would be

23:56 show up. He would be stoked. He would be pumped. Like physically, viscerally just

23:59 pumped. Like physically, viscerally just

23:59 pumped. Like physically, viscerally just stoked. And I'd be like, "Oh man, you

24:01 stoked. And I'd be like, "Oh man, you

24:01 stoked. And I'd be like, "Oh man, you know, me and his guitar player, Jeff,

24:03 know, me and his guitar player, Jeff,

24:03 know, me and his guitar player, Jeff, that was in Adam's band or whoever, we'd

24:05 that was in Adam's band or whoever, we'd

24:05 that was in Adam's band or whoever, we'd be kind of going, not a great turnout

24:07 be kind of going, not a great turnout

24:07 be kind of going, not a great turnout tonight." He like, "Dude, who cares?

24:09 tonight." He like, "Dude, who cares?

24:09 tonight." He like, "Dude, who cares? Punk rock, there's five people. Let's

24:11 Punk rock, there's five people. Let's

24:11 Punk rock, there's five people. Let's go. Let's give them a great show." Adam

24:14 go. Let's give them a great show." Adam

24:14 go. Let's give them a great show." Adam always had that thing where he'd be

24:16 always had that thing where he'd be

24:16 always had that thing where he'd be like, "Yeah, I acknowledge your, you

24:17 like, "Yeah, I acknowledge your, you

24:17 like, "Yeah, I acknowledge your, you know, disappointment with something.

24:19 know, disappointment with something.

24:19 know, disappointment with something. Let's jump over that and look for the

24:20 Let's jump over that and look for the

24:20 Let's jump over that and look for the silver lining. Let's jump." I remember

24:24 silver lining. Let's jump." I remember

24:24 silver lining. Let's jump." I remember when I first started going through my

24:25 when I first started going through my

24:25 when I first started going through my divorce

24:27 divorce

24:27 divorce and I had a whole long I had just quit

24:30 and I had a whole long I had just quit

24:30 and I had a whole long I had just quit my band two to try to save my family and

24:32 my band two to try to save my family and

24:32 my band two to try to save my family and my family's blowing up and everything's

24:33 my family's blowing up and everything's

24:33 my family's blowing up and everything's ruined in my entire life. Everything

24:35 ruined in my entire life. Everything

24:35 ruined in my entire life. Everything that I ever thought that I wanted and

24:36 that I ever thought that I wanted and

24:36 that I ever thought that I wanted and everything was blown up and destroyed,

24:38 everything was blown up and destroyed,

24:38 everything was blown up and destroyed, right? And I had to make a decision like

24:40 right? And I had to make a decision like

24:40 right? And I had to make a decision like I can either lay down and die here which

24:42 I can either lay down and die here which

24:42 I can either lay down and die here which is I'm not going to lie to you is

24:43 is I'm not going to lie to you is

24:43 is I'm not going to lie to you is something that I really desperately

24:45 something that I really desperately

24:45 something that I really desperately wanted to do

24:47 wanted to do

24:47 wanted to do or I can get up and just keep trying.

24:50 or I can get up and just keep trying.

24:50 or I can get up and just keep trying. And I remember making the decision like,

24:51 And I remember making the decision like,

24:52 And I remember making the decision like, hey,

24:53 hey,

24:53 hey, I I do not feel positive. I do not feel

24:55 I I do not feel positive. I do not feel

24:56 I I do not feel positive. I do not feel good.

24:57 good.

24:57 good. And I'm not naturally this person, but

24:59 And I'm not naturally this person, but

24:59 And I'm not naturally this person, but if I could be anything, if I could make

25:01 if I could be anything, if I could make

25:01 if I could be anything, if I could make my life into anything, I'd want to be

25:02 my life into anything, I'd want to be

25:02 my life into anything, I'd want to be that person that walks in that just

25:03 that person that walks in that just

25:04 that person that walks in that just makes everybody positive,

25:07 makes everybody positive,

25:07 makes everybody positive, you know, somebody that can be that

25:09 you know, somebody that can be that

25:09 you know, somebody that can be that person for people that can look at the

25:10 person for people that can look at the

25:10 person for people that can look at the silver lining. It's like, if I ever want

25:12 silver lining. It's like, if I ever want

25:12 silver lining. It's like, if I ever want to be that person that I have to change

25:14 to be that person that I have to change

25:14 to be that person that I have to change my life, right? So, I started something

25:16 my life, right? So, I started something

25:16 my life, right? So, I started something called the quest for positivity.

25:19 called the quest for positivity.

25:19 called the quest for positivity. And I remember uploading so just some

25:21 And I remember uploading so just some

25:21 And I remember uploading so just some unedited vlog thing which I only started

25:22 unedited vlog thing which I only started

25:22 unedited vlog thing which I only started doing because Adam would basically you

25:25 doing because Adam would basically you

25:25 doing because Adam would basically you know twisted my arm into

25:28 know twisted my arm into

25:28 know twisted my arm into and I remember talking about the quest

25:30 and I remember talking about the quest

25:30 and I remember talking about the quest for positivity and here's my new quest

25:32 for positivity and here's my new quest

25:32 for positivity and here's my new quest and I remember getting a text from him

25:34 and I remember getting a text from him

25:34 and I remember getting a text from him that night

25:36 that night

25:36 that night after it was posted about like dude I'm

25:39 after it was posted about like dude I'm

25:39 after it was posted about like dude I'm so jealous of that name. What a great

25:41 so jealous of that name. What a great

25:41 so jealous of that name. What a great name for it

25:43 name for it

25:43 name for it because he really would want to jump

25:45 because he really would want to jump

25:45 because he really would want to jump past that thing. Like let's jump past

25:46 past that thing. Like let's jump past

25:46 past that thing. Like let's jump past that. Let's look for the silver lining

25:48 that. Let's look for the silver lining

25:48 that. Let's look for the silver lining here.

25:50 here.

25:50 here. or he'd be the person that like you're

25:51 or he'd be the person that like you're

25:52 or he'd be the person that like you're grieving, you're going through

25:52 grieving, you're going through

25:52 grieving, you're going through something. I had a friend that I grew up

25:55 something. I had a friend that I grew up

25:55 something. I had a friend that I grew up with, you know, from when we were really

25:57 with, you know, from when we were really

25:57 with, you know, from when we were really little and school passed away and we'd

25:59 little and school passed away and we'd

25:59 little and school passed away and we'd had a really like bitter times later on

26:02 had a really like bitter times later on

26:02 had a really like bitter times later on and it was just horrible stuff and it

26:05 and it was just horrible stuff and it

26:05 and it was just horrible stuff and it was really difficult to navigate through

26:06 was really difficult to navigate through

26:06 was really difficult to navigate through and just Adam just showed up out of

26:08 and just Adam just showed up out of

26:08 and just Adam just showed up out of nowhere on one of his trips, made some

26:09 nowhere on one of his trips, made some

26:09 nowhere on one of his trips, made some time, showed up, just picked me up just

26:11 time, showed up, just picked me up just

26:11 time, showed up, just picked me up just to take me out, buy a couple frosty

26:13 to take me out, buy a couple frosty

26:13 to take me out, buy a couple frosty dues, walk around.

26:21 He was the best, most encouraging

26:21 He was the best, most encouraging per when I say literally with people he

26:23 per when I say literally with people he

26:23 per when I say literally with people he didn't even like that would drive him

26:25 didn't even like that would drive him

26:25 didn't even like that would drive him nuts and he'd be going, "Yeah, I made a

26:27 nuts and he'd be going, "Yeah, I made a

26:27 nuts and he'd be going, "Yeah, I made a video with him though cuz I want to." He

26:29 video with him though cuz I want to." He

26:29 video with him though cuz I want to." He was just the most

26:32 was just the most

26:32 was just the most What can I even say about a person like

26:34 What can I even say about a person like

26:34 What can I even say about a person like that? For all the stupid people that

26:35 that? For all the stupid people that

26:35 that? For all the stupid people that didn't know him who want to say negative

26:37 didn't know him who want to say negative

26:37 didn't know him who want to say negative things or

26:40 things or

26:40 things or paint him with some kind of darkness

26:41 paint him with some kind of darkness

26:41 paint him with some kind of darkness like there wasn't any.

26:44 like there wasn't any.

26:44 like there wasn't any. for somebody sitting in the front row.

26:45 for somebody sitting in the front row.

26:46 for somebody sitting in the front row. Let me tell you, there wasn't any.

26:48 Let me tell you, there wasn't any.

26:48 Let me tell you, there wasn't any. Because even when he would be mad, even

26:49 Because even when he would be mad, even

26:49 Because even when he would be mad, even when he'd be hurt or angry or just like

26:54 when he'd be hurt or angry or just like

26:54 when he'd be hurt or angry or just like eye rolling at somebody,

26:57 eye rolling at somebody,

26:57 eye rolling at somebody, he would always not just turn the other

26:59 he would always not just turn the other

26:59 he would always not just turn the other cheek,

27:01 cheek,

27:01 cheek, but live up to that love your enemies

27:03 but live up to that love your enemies

27:03 but live up to that love your enemies thing as much as he possibly could.

27:07 thing as much as he possibly could.

27:07 thing as much as he possibly could. He was the best. He had his weaknesses,

27:11 He was the best. He had his weaknesses,

27:11 He was the best. He had his weaknesses, don't get me wrong. He had his flaws and

27:13 don't get me wrong. He had his flaws and

27:13 don't get me wrong. He had his flaws and his faults. Sometimes he drive me

27:15 his faults. Sometimes he drive me

27:15 his faults. Sometimes he drive me insane.

27:17 insane.

27:17 insane. But I give anything to have him here

27:19 But I give anything to have him here

27:20 But I give anything to have him here annoying me for the rest of my life. You

27:22 annoying me for the rest of my life. You

27:22 annoying me for the rest of my life. You know what I mean?

27:24 know what I mean?

27:24 know what I mean? Um,

27:27 Um, but just as like uh somebody who got to

27:30 but just as like uh somebody who got to

27:30 but just as like uh somebody who got to ride shotgun a lot with him,

27:33 ride shotgun a lot with him,

27:33 ride shotgun a lot with him, he was the first person to take

27:35 he was the first person to take

27:35 he was the first person to take something dark and turn it into

27:36 something dark and turn it into

27:36 something dark and turn it into something light. He was like a factory

27:39 something light. He was like a factory

27:39 something light. He was like a factory that way.

27:41 that way.

27:41 that way. and everybody who is blessed to have him

27:44 and everybody who is blessed to have him

27:44 and everybody who is blessed to have him in their life and that includes you that

27:46 in their life and that includes you that

27:46 in their life and that includes you that may have just seen his videos.

27:49 may have just seen his videos.

27:49 may have just seen his videos. There's a hole there. I just hugging

27:51 There's a hole there. I just hugging

27:51 There's a hole there. I just hugging people coming up to you. I never met

27:53 people coming up to you. I never met

27:53 people coming up to you. I never met him. I just I cried more than I cried

27:54 him. I just I cried more than I cried

27:54 him. I just I cried more than I cried when my grandma died or this or that

27:59 when my grandma died or this or that

27:59 when my grandma died or this or that because he gave the best part of himself

28:04 because he gave the best part of himself

28:04 because he gave the best part of himself to everyone. He was private about a lot

28:07 to everyone. He was private about a lot

28:07 to everyone. He was private about a lot of things but he gave the best part of

28:08 of things but he gave the best part of

28:08 of things but he gave the best part of himself to everyone. that laugh, that

28:10 himself to everyone. that laugh, that

28:10 himself to everyone. that laugh, that enthusiasm.

28:12 enthusiasm.

28:12 enthusiasm. He's talked about this day coming in his

28:16 He's talked about this day coming in his

28:16 He's talked about this day coming in his own video, sprinkled out some of his

28:17 own video, sprinkled out some of his

28:17 own video, sprinkled out some of his thoughts throughout. I'm surprised how

28:19 thoughts throughout. I'm surprised how

28:19 thoughts throughout. I'm surprised how much of our private conversations people

28:21 much of our private conversations people

28:21 much of our private conversations people are tagging me in clips and things of

28:23 are tagging me in clips and things of

28:23 are tagging me in clips and things of him

28:25 him

28:25 him expressing uh a public version of of all

28:29 expressing uh a public version of of all

28:29 expressing uh a public version of of all that stuff.

28:32 that stuff.

28:32 that stuff. He uh you got to forgive the sunglasses,

28:33 He uh you got to forgive the sunglasses,

28:33 He uh you got to forgive the sunglasses, but my eyes have been puffy and ugly,

28:35 but my eyes have been puffy and ugly,

28:35 but my eyes have been puffy and ugly, and you don't need to see Emperor

28:36 and you don't need to see Emperor

28:36 and you don't need to see Emperor Palpatines's eyes from the last four

28:38 Palpatines's eyes from the last four

28:38 Palpatines's eyes from the last four days of crying. Feels weird to wear them

28:40 days of crying. Feels weird to wear them

28:40 days of crying. Feels weird to wear them in the dark, though, huh?

28:42 in the dark, though, huh?

28:42 in the dark, though, huh? Um,

28:49 he gave the best part of himself to

28:49 he gave the best part of himself to everyone.

28:51 everyone.

28:51 everyone. And sometimes that was hard for him.

28:55 And sometimes that was hard for him.

28:55 And sometimes that was hard for him. sometimes.

28:57 sometimes.

28:57 sometimes. I don't want to say he regretted it, but

28:59 I don't want to say he regretted it, but

28:59 I don't want to say he regretted it, but you know, he made this life for himself

29:01 you know, he made this life for himself

29:01 you know, he made this life for himself that there's no way to escape. I can

29:04 that there's no way to escape. I can

29:04 that there's no way to escape. I can remember him saying like, "Dude, I'm

29:05 remember him saying like, "Dude, I'm

29:05 remember him saying like, "Dude, I'm I'll never just be able to go to the

29:08 I'll never just be able to go to the

29:08 I'll never just be able to go to the park and just sit on a bench and just

29:10 park and just sit on a bench and just

29:10 park and just sit on a bench and just think and not have someone say hello or

29:12 think and not have someone say hello or

29:12 think and not have someone say hello or whatever." And as much as it's a

29:13 whatever." And as much as it's a

29:13 whatever." And as much as it's a blessing, like it's kind of a little bit

29:14 blessing, like it's kind of a little bit

29:14 blessing, like it's kind of a little bit of a curse, you know, like it's cuz it

29:16 of a curse, you know, like it's cuz it

29:16 of a curse, you know, like it's cuz it will go with you everywhere. And there's

29:17 will go with you everywhere. And there's

29:17 will go with you everywhere. And there's always times in your life where you're

29:19 always times in your life where you're

29:19 always times in your life where you're like, [sighs]

29:21 like, [sighs]

29:21 like, [sighs] you need some space or you're chafing at

29:22 you need some space or you're chafing at

29:22 you need some space or you're chafing at things like that. He had his ups and

29:24 things like that. He had his ups and

29:24 things like that. He had his ups and downs with it, but he never gave up and

29:27 downs with it, but he never gave up and

29:27 downs with it, but he never gave up and he never stopped. Even when he'd take a

29:29 he never stopped. Even when he'd take a

29:29 he never stopped. Even when he'd take a little break from this or a day here or

29:30 little break from this or a day here or

29:30 little break from this or a day here or a day that or he'd say he was going to

29:32 a day that or he'd say he was going to

29:32 a day that or he'd say he was going to take a long break, right? I'm going to

29:34 take a long break, right? I'm going to

29:34 take a long break, right? I'm going to just go and do this and then two months

29:37 just go and do this and then two months

29:37 just go and do this and then two months later be like, "Ah, just kidding. I'm

29:39 later be like, "Ah, just kidding. I'm

29:39 later be like, "Ah, just kidding. I'm going to go back to Disney after all or

29:40 going to go back to Disney after all or

29:40 going to go back to Disney after all or whatever." All those things are because

29:42 whatever." All those things are because

29:42 whatever." All those things are because they're things he'd get claustrophobic

29:44 they're things he'd get claustrophobic

29:44 they're things he'd get claustrophobic or have his struggles.

29:46 or have his struggles.

29:46 or have his struggles. But ultimately, he always went back to

29:50 But ultimately, he always went back to

29:50 But ultimately, he always went back to nah,

29:52 nah,

29:52 nah, I got to give that best part of myself

29:53 I got to give that best part of myself

29:53 I got to give that best part of myself to all these people. He really loved,

29:56 to all these people. He really loved,

29:56 to all these people. He really loved, appreciated, cared for those people.

29:58 appreciated, cared for those people.

29:58 appreciated, cared for those people. Like I said, he rose. He lived up to

30:00 Like I said, he rose. He lived up to

30:00 Like I said, he rose. He lived up to that.

30:03 that. I don't want to say responsibility, but

30:05 I don't want to say responsibility, but

30:05 I don't want to say responsibility, but he he considered it like that.

30:19 a lot more lost than maybe

30:19 a lot more lost than maybe I will later. Maybe I'll feel the ground

30:21 I will later. Maybe I'll feel the ground

30:21 I will later. Maybe I'll feel the ground better. But it's like I was telling Ally

30:24 better. But it's like I was telling Ally

30:24 better. But it's like I was telling Ally kind of describing it like this. Like

30:28 kind of describing it like this. Like

30:28 kind of describing it like this. Like AB and I met both of us had messed with

30:31 AB and I met both of us had messed with

30:31 AB and I met both of us had messed with YouTube and done skits and weird wacky

30:33 YouTube and done skits and weird wacky

30:33 YouTube and done skits and weird wacky things, but we met, you know, before the

30:34 things, but we met, you know, before the

30:34 things, but we met, you know, before the Daily Woo, before all this stuff.

30:37 Daily Woo, before all this stuff.

30:38 Daily Woo, before all this stuff. He was always trying from 2010 onwards

30:40 He was always trying from 2010 onwards

30:40 He was always trying from 2010 onwards to get me to do YouTube videos all the

30:42 to get me to do YouTube videos all the

30:42 to get me to do YouTube videos all the time and get me it took two or three

30:44 time and get me it took two or three

30:44 time and get me it took two or three years till he really got me in the right

30:47 years till he really got me in the right

30:47 years till he really got me in the right place where I was started doing what I'm

30:50 place where I was started doing what I'm

30:50 place where I was started doing what I'm doing now. Um and by the time I did

30:53 doing now. Um and by the time I did

30:53 doing now. Um and by the time I did start like uh I don't know there was he

30:56 start like uh I don't know there was he

30:56 start like uh I don't know there was he had a few subscribers but not many

30:58 had a few subscribers but not many

30:58 had a few subscribers but not many nothing like now you know

31:01 nothing like now you know

31:01 nothing like now you know but being 9 years older

31:05 but being 9 years older

31:05 but being 9 years older maybe I mean at that point I had

31:06 maybe I mean at that point I had

31:06 maybe I mean at that point I had traveled more than him. I had done more

31:08 traveled more than him. I had done more

31:08 traveled more than him. I had done more stuff than him. He looked up to me in a

31:09 stuff than him. He looked up to me in a

31:09 stuff than him. He looked up to me in a way, but maybe being older and always

31:12 way, but maybe being older and always

31:12 way, but maybe being older and always being a little ahead on the YouTube

31:13 being a little ahead on the YouTube

31:13 being a little ahead on the YouTube thing, always being at first a few

31:15 thing, always being at first a few

31:15 thing, always being at first a few thousand subscribers ahead and that kind

31:17 thousand subscribers ahead and that kind

31:17 thousand subscribers ahead and that kind of thing. And just the way he was, his

31:19 of thing. And just the way he was, his

31:19 of thing. And just the way he was, his personality, the way he cared for

31:21 personality, the way he cared for

31:21 personality, the way he cared for people, he looked out for people. He was

31:23 people, he looked out for people. He was

31:23 people, he looked out for people. He was a naturalb born leader or he really was.

31:27 a naturalb born leader or he really was.

31:27 a naturalb born leader or he really was. I always felt like

31:30 I always felt like

31:30 I always felt like he helped put me on this path, but he

31:32 he helped put me on this path, but he

31:32 he helped put me on this path, but he was always a little ahead of me. Does

31:35 was always a little ahead of me. Does

31:35 was always a little ahead of me. Does that make sense? It's like picture being

31:37 that make sense? It's like picture being

31:37 that make sense? It's like picture being going on some trail through the forest.

31:39 going on some trail through the forest.

31:39 going on some trail through the forest. We're going on this epic adventure

31:40 We're going on this epic adventure

31:40 We're going on this epic adventure through the forest and he is always

31:42 through the forest and he is always

31:42 through the forest and he is always ahead of me. Close enough that he's

31:45 ahead of me. Close enough that he's

31:45 ahead of me. Close enough that he's still within earshot. He could give me

31:47 still within earshot. He could give me

31:47 still within earshot. He could give me all the warnings, but always ahead of me

31:49 all the warnings, but always ahead of me

31:49 all the warnings, but always ahead of me so that I knew it was safe. You know, I

31:51 so that I knew it was safe. You know, I

31:52 so that I knew it was safe. You know, I could see someone ahead of me on the

31:53 could see someone ahead of me on the

31:53 could see someone ahead of me on the path on the trail. I kind of knew where

31:54 path on the trail. I kind of knew where

31:54 path on the trail. I kind of knew where to he could turn around and go, "You're

31:56 to he could turn around and go, "You're

31:56 to he could turn around and go, "You're going to want to avoid this. You're

31:57 going to want to avoid this. You're

31:57 going to want to avoid this. You're going to want to try to do this. Try to

31:58 going to want to try to do this. Try to

31:58 going to want to try to do this. Try to climb over the rocks this way." Does

32:00 climb over the rocks this way." Does

32:00 climb over the rocks this way." Does that make sense as an analogy?

32:10 I gotta be honest with you, like I'm I

32:10 I gotta be honest with you, like I'm I feel a little lost. Like

32:20 all of a sudden he's not on that trail

32:20 all of a sudden he's not on that trail ahead of me.

32:23 ahead of me.

32:23 ahead of me. And

32:25 And

32:25 And there's been some moments, I'm sure

32:26 there's been some moments, I'm sure

32:26 there's been some moments, I'm sure there'll be more, where it's like, I

32:28 there'll be more, where it's like, I

32:28 there'll be more, where it's like, I don't I don't know if I want to walk

32:29 don't I don't know if I want to walk

32:29 don't I don't know if I want to walk that way or I don't know how. How am I

32:32 that way or I don't know how. How am I

32:32 that way or I don't know how. How am I going to climb over this? Where's Adam?

32:33 going to climb over this? Where's Adam?

32:33 going to climb over this? Where's Adam? To tell me how.

32:43 I don't think I realized how many hats

32:43 I don't think I realized how many hats he wore in my life. It wasn't just my

32:46 he wore in my life. It wasn't just my

32:46 he wore in my life. It wasn't just my friend. It was more than that.

32:49 friend. It was more than that.

32:49 friend. It was more than that. Because,

32:51 Because,

32:51 Because, you know, the best friend, you're a

32:53 you know, the best friend, you're a

32:53 you know, the best friend, you're a buddy, buddy. Everything's good. I see

32:55 buddy, buddy. Everything's good. I see

32:55 buddy, buddy. Everything's good. I see you when I see you. And D. It was more

32:57 you when I see you. And D. It was more

32:57 you when I see you. And D. It was more someone who was in your life all the

32:58 someone who was in your life all the

32:58 someone who was in your life all the time who who could annoy you and argue

33:02 time who who could annoy you and argue

33:02 time who who could annoy you and argue with you and fight with you and have a

33:03 with you and fight with you and have a

33:03 with you and fight with you and have a falling out, but you're like you're like

33:05 falling out, but you're like you're like

33:05 falling out, but you're like you're like blood, you know, you're lifers together

33:09 blood, you know, you're lifers together

33:09 blood, you know, you're lifers together and a creative partner and a mentor and

33:12 and a creative partner and a mentor and

33:12 and a creative partner and a mentor and a partner in crime, someone to get up to

33:14 a partner in crime, someone to get up to

33:14 a partner in crime, someone to get up to high jinks in trouble with, someone to

33:15 high jinks in trouble with, someone to

33:16 high jinks in trouble with, someone to vent to. That was really important

33:18 vent to. That was really important

33:18 vent to. That was really important because he really didn't believe in

33:20 because he really didn't believe in

33:20 because he really didn't believe in being negative or harping on it.

33:22 being negative or harping on it.

33:22 being negative or harping on it. Everybody's got a side where it, you

33:24 Everybody's got a side where it, you

33:24 Everybody's got a side where it, you know, where they need to talk about the

33:25 know, where they need to talk about the

33:25 know, where they need to talk about the stuff they hate or that's irritating

33:26 stuff they hate or that's irritating

33:26 stuff they hate or that's irritating them. And because we were together when

33:27 them. And because we were together when

33:27 them. And because we were together when we're nothing,

33:30 we're nothing,

33:30 we're nothing, it's like there were a few people that

33:33 it's like there were a few people that

33:33 it's like there were a few people that he felt like he could talk to you about

33:35 he felt like he could talk to you about

33:35 he felt like he could talk to you about that stuff and trust and stuff like

33:36 that stuff and trust and stuff like

33:36 that stuff and trust and stuff like that. And he made some other friends,

33:38 that. And he made some other friends,

33:38 that. And he made some other friends, you know, along the way that that got

33:39 you know, along the way that that got

33:39 you know, along the way that that got in, which I was really grateful for.

33:41 in, which I was really grateful for.

33:42 in, which I was really grateful for. Particularly grateful for some of his

33:43 Particularly grateful for some of his

33:43 Particularly grateful for some of his friends now that are in Florida handling

33:45 friends now that are in Florida handling

33:45 friends now that are in Florida handling a lot of this stuff um on the ground and

33:49 a lot of this stuff um on the ground and

33:49 a lot of this stuff um on the ground and helping his family and such.

33:50 helping his family and such.

33:50 helping his family and such. particularly Kevin Heimbach and Allison

33:54 particularly Kevin Heimbach and Allison

33:54 particularly Kevin Heimbach and Allison and the people that are close out there.

33:56 and the people that are close out there.

33:56 and the people that are close out there. Too many names to name so forgive me if

33:58 Too many names to name so forgive me if

33:58 Too many names to name so forgive me if I don't you know but um because

34:00 I don't you know but um because

34:00 I don't you know but um because everybody loved him so much and he loved

34:02 everybody loved him so much and he loved

34:02 everybody loved him so much and he loved them so much

34:07 and so everybody keeps asking me how I

34:08 and so everybody keeps asking me how I feel. How you how you doing? How you

34:09 feel. How you how you doing? How you

34:09 feel. How you how you doing? How you feel? I don't know. I don't know. I

34:11 feel? I don't know. I don't know. I

34:11 feel? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I'm going to know for a

34:12 don't know if I'm going to know for a

34:12 don't know if I'm going to know for a long time. A long time. But at some

34:15 long time. A long time. But at some

34:15 long time. A long time. But at some point I got to get out of bed and I have

34:17 point I got to get out of bed and I have

34:17 point I got to get out of bed and I have to do something.

34:24 Maybe I'll delete this video one day

34:24 Maybe I'll delete this video one day because it's embarrassing. But I feel

34:26 because it's embarrassing. But I feel

34:26 because it's embarrassing. But I feel like uh it's all I can share if I share

34:28 like uh it's all I can share if I share

34:28 like uh it's all I can share if I share anything is just to talk. I thought I'd

34:30 anything is just to talk. I thought I'd

34:30 anything is just to talk. I thought I'd go walk around the circle. Try to pay

34:33 go walk around the circle. Try to pay

34:33 go walk around the circle. Try to pay tribute to him by like let's be a little

34:34 tribute to him by like let's be a little

34:34 tribute to him by like let's be a little silly and let's show the bench where

34:36 silly and let's show the bench where

34:36 silly and let's show the bench where someone carved ATW in the bench over

34:38 someone carved ATW in the bench over

34:38 someone carved ATW in the bench over here. And I was laughing cuz I was

34:41 here. And I was laughing cuz I was

34:41 here. And I was laughing cuz I was trying to

34:43 trying to

34:43 trying to talk and tell you guys about like just

34:45 talk and tell you guys about like just

34:45 talk and tell you guys about like just the way the way he would own something

34:48 the way the way he would own something

34:48 the way the way he would own something and make it his. The way they would be

34:49 and make it his. The way they would be

34:49 and make it his. The way they would be like this is going to be 100%. No one's

34:51 like this is going to be 100%. No one's

34:51 like this is going to be 100%. No one's ever going to stop thinking of me when

34:52 ever going to stop thinking of me when

34:52 ever going to stop thinking of me when they see the Sinclair dinosaur or get a

34:54 they see the Sinclair dinosaur or get a

34:54 they see the Sinclair dinosaur or get a piping hot or see a bird. Hitchcock

34:57 piping hot or see a bird. Hitchcock

34:57 piping hot or see a bird. Hitchcock would be proud.

34:59 would be proud.

34:59 would be proud. All the little things.

35:02 All the little things.

35:02 All the little things. If I said something he liked or thought

35:03 If I said something he liked or thought

35:03 If I said something he liked or thought was funny, he'd be like, "Dude, I'm

35:04 was funny, he'd be like, "Dude, I'm

35:04 was funny, he'd be like, "Dude, I'm stealing that. I'm going to make it my

35:06 stealing that. I'm going to make it my

35:06 stealing that. I'm going to make it my thing." I can remember in a video saying

35:09 thing." I can remember in a video saying

35:09 thing." I can remember in a video saying years ago saying something like, you

35:11 years ago saying something like, you

35:11 years ago saying something like, you know, fully armed into operations. Like,

35:13 know, fully armed into operations. Like,

35:13 know, fully armed into operations. Like, dude, I'm steal. You say that all the

35:16 dude, I'm steal. You say that all the

35:16 dude, I'm steal. You say that all the time. Just like competitive stuff,

35:18 time. Just like competitive stuff,

35:18 time. Just like competitive stuff, brother stuff,

35:24 places we'd both talk about, dude, one

35:24 places we'd both talk about, dude, one day we're going to go to this. Then he'd

35:25 day we're going to go to this. Then he'd

35:25 day we're going to go to this. Then he'd get there first. Of course, a head on

35:26 get there first. Of course, a head on

35:26 get there first. Of course, a head on the trail, you know, kind of thing. He'd

35:28 the trail, you know, kind of thing. He'd

35:28 the trail, you know, kind of thing. He'd text me like, dude, I beat you. But then

35:31 text me like, dude, I beat you. But then

35:31 text me like, dude, I beat you. But then he'd also be the first person like,

35:32 he'd also be the first person like,

35:32 he'd also be the first person like, dude, there's this spot. I think it'd be

35:34 dude, there's this spot. I think it'd be

35:34 dude, there's this spot. I think it'd be really good for you to go and film it. I

35:36 really good for you to go and film it. I

35:36 really good for you to go and film it. I think it'd be awesome.

35:38 think it'd be awesome.

35:38 think it'd be awesome. And I'm like stupid, right? Like I'm a

35:40 And I'm like stupid, right? Like I'm a

35:40 And I'm like stupid, right? Like I'm a stupid person. I I can't do numbers. I

35:43 stupid person. I I can't do numbers. I

35:43 stupid person. I I can't do numbers. I have something called discalculia. Like

35:45 have something called discalculia. Like

35:45 have something called discalculia. Like I can't understand numbers and

35:46 I can't understand numbers and

35:46 I can't understand numbers and percentages and things and analytics and

35:49 percentages and things and analytics and

35:49 percentages and things and analytics and I can't do that stuff, right? Like I

35:51 I can't do that stuff, right? Like I

35:51 I can't do that stuff, right? Like I don't know. I can't analyze what I do. I

35:53 don't know. I can't analyze what I do. I

35:53 don't know. I can't analyze what I do. I just have to do it from my gut. But Adam

35:56 just have to do it from my gut. But Adam

35:56 just have to do it from my gut. But Adam was such a great friend. he'd be the one

35:58 was such a great friend. he'd be the one

35:58 was such a great friend. he'd be the one going, "Okay, like look, it works like

35:59 going, "Okay, like look, it works like

35:59 going, "Okay, like look, it works like this and I went into your metrics and

36:02 this and I went into your metrics and

36:02 this and I went into your metrics and you know, just try a little bit more of

36:03 you know, just try a little bit more of

36:03 you know, just try a little bit more of this or post on on this day instead of

36:04 this or post on on this day instead of

36:04 this or post on on this day instead of this day or whatever all the things,

36:08 this day or whatever all the things,

36:08 this day or whatever all the things, you know, put this many ads, but don't

36:09 you know, put this many ads, but don't

36:10 you know, put this many ads, but don't don't put too many." And and

36:13 don't put too many." And and

36:13 don't put too many." And and also a really good moral sounding board.

36:15 also a really good moral sounding board.

36:15 also a really good moral sounding board. Adam had a weird um moral code sometimes

36:20 Adam had a weird um moral code sometimes

36:20 Adam had a weird um moral code sometimes in in that like he he would create rules

36:22 in in that like he he would create rules

36:22 in in that like he he would create rules for himself and stick to them like

36:25 for himself and stick to them like

36:25 for himself and stick to them like really strictly. Like I got to say out

36:27 really strictly. Like I got to say out

36:27 really strictly. Like I got to say out of anyone if he had a conviction about

36:29 of anyone if he had a conviction about

36:29 of anyone if he had a conviction about something he would it was like a law to

36:31 something he would it was like a law to

36:31 something he would it was like a law to him. Some of them were weird but he had

36:34 him. Some of them were weird but he had

36:34 him. Some of them were weird but he had he overall like he had such a great

36:37 he overall like he had such a great

36:37 he overall like he had such a great grounded sense of like

36:41 grounded sense of like

36:41 grounded sense of like I don't know some kind of like it really

36:43 I don't know some kind of like it really

36:43 I don't know some kind of like it really goes back to the punk rock thing just

36:45 goes back to the punk rock thing just

36:45 goes back to the punk rock thing just sort of a DIY mentality and like uh what

36:48 sort of a DIY mentality and like uh what

36:48 sort of a DIY mentality and like uh what was and wasn't okay and what he felt

36:50 was and wasn't okay and what he felt

36:50 was and wasn't okay and what he felt like was taking advantage of the

36:52 like was taking advantage of the

36:52 like was taking advantage of the audience or what wasn't. [snorts] We had

36:54 audience or what wasn't. [snorts] We had

36:54 audience or what wasn't. [snorts] We had very different views on like how to go

36:56 very different views on like how to go

36:56 very different views on like how to go about some of this stuff and how to

36:59 about some of this stuff and how to

36:59 about some of this stuff and how to survive. You know, there's many things

37:00 survive. You know, there's many things

37:00 survive. You know, there's many things he'd say like, "You need to do that,

37:01 he'd say like, "You need to do that,

37:01 he'd say like, "You need to do that, man. You need that for you. I'm not

37:03 man. You need that for you. I'm not

37:03 man. You need that for you. I'm not going to do that cuz I feel like in my

37:05 going to do that cuz I feel like in my

37:05 going to do that cuz I feel like in my position now, I'd be taking advantage or

37:07 position now, I'd be taking advantage or

37:07 position now, I'd be taking advantage or this or that or the other thing." He was

37:09 this or that or the other thing." He was

37:09 this or that or the other thing." He was uh conscientious is the word I've been

37:12 uh conscientious is the word I've been

37:12 uh conscientious is the word I've been looking for. Like super conscientious

37:14 looking for. Like super conscientious

37:14 looking for. Like super conscientious about

37:15 about

37:15 about about stuff and never like taking

37:19 about stuff and never like taking

37:19 about stuff and never like taking advantage or trying to manipulate

37:20 advantage or trying to manipulate

37:20 advantage or trying to manipulate things. And

37:23 things. And

37:23 things. And like I said, like an older brother, just

37:24 like I said, like an older brother, just

37:24 like I said, like an older brother, just like somebody there that was your equal

37:26 like somebody there that was your equal

37:26 like somebody there that was your equal and was uh fun to play around with and

37:29 and was uh fun to play around with and

37:29 and was uh fun to play around with and wrestle and get into trouble with, but

37:30 wrestle and get into trouble with, but

37:30 wrestle and get into trouble with, but then also like when it came down to it,

37:34 then also like when it came down to it,

37:34 then also like when it came down to it, the real stuff in your life was there to

37:36 the real stuff in your life was there to

37:36 the real stuff in your life was there to to to hey, you know, I'm telling you,

37:40 to to hey, you know, I'm telling you,

37:40 to to hey, you know, I'm telling you, he was so many things to me and I don't

37:43 he was so many things to me and I don't

37:43 he was so many things to me and I don't know what to do. I can't do anything now

37:46 know what to do. I can't do anything now

37:46 know what to do. I can't do anything now except for get up.

37:48 except for get up.

37:48 except for get up. And no one can speak for him. That's the

37:50 And no one can speak for him. That's the

37:50 And no one can speak for him. That's the awkward part. Yes, I did know him and I

37:52 awkward part. Yes, I did know him and I

37:52 awkward part. Yes, I did know him and I knew him really well and got inside all

37:54 knew him really well and got inside all

37:54 knew him really well and got inside all kinds of layers that I knew he didn't

37:56 kinds of layers that I knew he didn't

37:56 kinds of layers that I knew he didn't let everybody into, but no one can speak

37:58 let everybody into, but no one can speak

37:58 let everybody into, but no one can speak for him. He was such a unique person,

38:00 for him. He was such a unique person,

38:00 for him. He was such a unique person, such an individual.

38:09 I'd never seen a person before

38:09 I'd never seen a person before that had such a huge personality, such a

38:12 that had such a huge personality, such a

38:12 that had such a huge personality, such a huge life that they could carve it up

38:14 huge life that they could carve it up

38:14 huge life that they could carve it up into little 5% chunks or 15% chunks and

38:18 into little 5% chunks or 15% chunks and

38:18 into little 5% chunks or 15% chunks and somebody might get to know 5% or 15% of

38:21 somebody might get to know 5% or 15% of

38:21 somebody might get to know 5% or 15% of who he was, but they felt like they knew

38:24 who he was, but they felt like they knew

38:24 who he was, but they felt like they knew 100%.

38:26 100%.

38:26 100%. The amount of people who have told me

38:28 The amount of people who have told me

38:28 The amount of people who have told me that like, dude, he felt like my best

38:30 that like, dude, he felt like my best

38:30 that like, dude, he felt like my best friend.

38:32 friend.

38:32 friend. people that I didn't even ever meet him,

38:34 people that I didn't even ever meet him,

38:34 people that I didn't even ever meet him, but also just the amount of people that

38:35 but also just the amount of people that

38:35 but also just the amount of people that he spent a little bit of time with here

38:37 he spent a little bit of time with here

38:37 he spent a little bit of time with here and there as he could traveling around.

38:39 and there as he could traveling around.

38:40 and there as he could traveling around. I think I just I felt so close to him.

38:41 I think I just I felt so close to him.

38:41 I think I just I felt so close to him. You know, I didn't hang out with them as

38:42 You know, I didn't hang out with them as

38:42 You know, I didn't hang out with them as much as you, but I felt so close and I

38:44 much as you, but I felt so close and I

38:44 much as you, but I felt so close and I have to tell him like he loved you. He

38:45 have to tell him like he loved you. He

38:45 have to tell him like he loved you. He loved so many people. the amount of I

38:50 loved so many people. the amount of I

38:50 loved so many people. the amount of I was just talking about this with a

38:51 was just talking about this with a

38:51 was just talking about this with a couple of couple of the California

38:54 couple of couple of the California

38:54 couple of couple of the California friends, you know, Peter and Kitra and

38:55 friends, you know, Peter and Kitra and

38:56 friends, you know, Peter and Kitra and David and Liz and um Mig and Janelle and

38:58 David and Liz and um Mig and Janelle and

38:58 David and Liz and um Mig and Janelle and some of us got together the other night

39:00 some of us got together the other night

39:00 some of us got together the other night and just had an hour or two where we

39:02 and just had an hour or two where we

39:02 and just had an hour or two where we could get together and tell stories and

39:04 could get together and tell stories and

39:04 could get together and tell stories and laugh and cry together and it's like I

39:07 laugh and cry together and it's like I

39:07 laugh and cry together and it's like I told him like he watched how did he do

39:09 told him like he watched how did he do

39:09 told him like he watched how did he do it? I don't have time to watch my own

39:12 it? I don't have time to watch my own

39:12 it? I don't have time to watch my own anybody's stuff. I'm out there making

39:14 anybody's stuff. I'm out there making

39:14 anybody's stuff. I'm out there making stuff. I'm trying to do the best I can

39:16 stuff. I'm trying to do the best I can

39:16 stuff. I'm trying to do the best I can do, you know, being a husband and father

39:18 do, you know, being a husband and father

39:18 do, you know, being a husband and father and taking care of a household and all

39:19 and taking care of a household and all

39:19 and taking care of a household and all these things.

39:25 And somehow, not only did Adam have

39:25 And somehow, not only did Adam have those same things going on, not only did

39:26 those same things going on, not only did

39:26 those same things going on, not only did he make a video every day pretty much,

39:30 he make a video every day pretty much,

39:30 he make a video every day pretty much, and if he wasn't making one, he was

39:31 and if he wasn't making one, he was

39:32 and if he wasn't making one, he was working on one, thinking of one,

39:33 working on one, thinking of one,

39:33 working on one, thinking of one, planning one.

39:35 planning one.

39:35 planning one. He would watch everybody's videos. He

39:38 He would watch everybody's videos. He

39:38 He would watch everybody's videos. He watched every single one of my videos

39:42 watched every single one of my videos

39:42 watched every single one of my videos and would give me feedback and tell me,

39:45 and would give me feedback and tell me,

39:45 and would give me feedback and tell me, "Dude, that was genius or this." Always

39:47 "Dude, that was genius or this." Always

39:47 "Dude, that was genius or this." Always something encouraging. But it wasn't

39:49 something encouraging. But it wasn't

39:49 something encouraging. But it wasn't just like me or, you know, just just

39:51 just like me or, you know, just just

39:51 just like me or, you know, just just Micah or just this person or that per it

39:53 Micah or just this person or that per it

39:53 Micah or just this person or that per it was like all of his friends

39:57 was like all of his friends

39:57 was like all of his friends somehow. I mean, not every single one,

39:59 somehow. I mean, not every single one,

39:59 somehow. I mean, not every single one, but he would watch everybody's and he

40:01 but he would watch everybody's and he

40:01 but he would watch everybody's and he would know, dude, when you went here,

40:03 would know, dude, when you went here,

40:03 would know, dude, when you went here, when you did that, when you filmed like

40:04 when you did that, when you filmed like

40:04 when you did that, when you filmed like this, if any of us had a trouble, a pet

40:07 this, if any of us had a trouble, a pet

40:07 this, if any of us had a trouble, a pet die, something happened, you know,

40:10 die, something happened, you know,

40:10 die, something happened, you know, trouble at work, this, that, he would

40:12 trouble at work, this, that, he would

40:12 trouble at work, this, that, he would know.

40:14 know.

40:14 know. He could remember everybody's name.

40:16 He could remember everybody's name.

40:16 He could remember everybody's name. Like, dude, when you get to Philly, you

40:17 Like, dude, when you get to Philly, you

40:17 Like, dude, when you get to Philly, you got to call this buddy of mine. When you

40:18 got to call this buddy of mine. When you

40:18 got to call this buddy of mine. When you get to Dallas, you got to do this, dude.

40:20 get to Dallas, you got to do this, dude.

40:20 get to Dallas, you got to do this, dude. This guy in Colorado, great guy. D. You

40:22 This guy in Colorado, great guy. D. You

40:22 This guy in Colorado, great guy. D. You got to get together. And the other thing

40:23 got to get together. And the other thing

40:23 got to get together. And the other thing that he did that was amazing as

40:26 that he did that was amazing as

40:26 that he did that was amazing as something I did not have as a skill at

40:29 something I did not have as a skill at

40:29 something I did not have as a skill at all is that he would meet these people

40:32 all is that he would meet these people

40:32 all is that he would meet these people and then try to connect you with them.

40:33 and then try to connect you with them.

40:33 and then try to connect you with them. Adam knew that I was shy. Look, I'm

40:35 Adam knew that I was shy. Look, I'm

40:35 Adam knew that I was shy. Look, I'm mouthy. I can't shut up once I start

40:38 mouthy. I can't shut up once I start

40:38 mouthy. I can't shut up once I start talking to somebody, but I'm very shy

40:40 talking to somebody, but I'm very shy

40:40 talking to somebody, but I'm very shy about meeting people and I'm very shy

40:42 about meeting people and I'm very shy

40:42 about meeting people and I'm very shy about like being invited to things. Some

40:43 about like being invited to things. Some

40:43 about like being invited to things. Some of the things I've been asking some of

40:45 of the things I've been asking some of

40:45 of the things I've been asking some of my friends is like, "Please make sure I

40:47 my friends is like, "Please make sure I

40:47 my friends is like, "Please make sure I don't

40:49 don't

40:49 don't please make sure to drag me out because

40:51 please make sure to drag me out because

40:52 please make sure to drag me out because Adam was that person for me." He would

40:54 Adam was that person for me." He would

40:54 Adam was that person for me." He would drag me out of my com I don't like

40:55 drag me out of my com I don't like

40:55 drag me out of my com I don't like crowds. I don't like uncomfortable

40:57 crowds. I don't like uncomfortable

40:57 crowds. I don't like uncomfortable things. I always have imposter syndrome.

40:58 things. I always have imposter syndrome.

40:58 things. I always have imposter syndrome. I feel like I don't belong. And he'd

41:00 I feel like I don't belong. And he'd

41:00 I feel like I don't belong. And he'd like, "Dude, you're coming out with me

41:02 like, "Dude, you're coming out with me

41:02 like, "Dude, you're coming out with me front and center in the crowded back to

41:04 front and center in the crowded back to

41:04 front and center in the crowded back to the feet." All those things where I'd be

41:05 the feet." All those things where I'd be

41:05 the feet." All those things where I'd be like, "I'll just go stand on the side."

41:06 like, "I'll just go stand on the side."

41:06 like, "I'll just go stand on the side." No, you got to be in the thick of it

41:07 No, you got to be in the thick of it

41:07 No, you got to be in the thick of it with me.

41:14 And I'm almost afraid like without him

41:14 And I'm almost afraid like without him in my life like who's going to do that.

41:18 in my life like who's going to do that.

41:18 in my life like who's going to do that. I can't remember where I was going with

41:19 I can't remember where I was going with

41:19 I can't remember where I was going with that [snorts] other than just

41:23 that [snorts] other than just

41:23 that [snorts] other than just he was the best. Oh, that's it. He was

41:25 he was the best. Oh, that's it. He was

41:25 he was the best. Oh, that's it. He was the best at just putting people together

41:27 the best at just putting people together

41:27 the best at just putting people together or like you and David Fresh Bake. You

41:29 or like you and David Fresh Bake. You

41:29 or like you and David Fresh Bake. You guys have never But you guys are the two

41:30 guys have never But you guys are the two

41:30 guys have never But you guys are the two original Disneyland video guy. You guys

41:32 original Disneyland video guy. You guys

41:32 original Disneyland video guy. You guys have never hung out. Well, not really.

41:34 have never hung out. Well, not really.

41:34 have never hung out. Well, not really. You know, I don't know. I don't want to

41:36 You know, I don't know. I don't want to

41:36 You know, I don't know. I don't want to get Dude, you got to be friends. And

41:38 get Dude, you got to be friends. And

41:38 get Dude, you got to be friends. And he'd put you together with people. If he

41:39 he'd put you together with people. If he

41:40 he'd put you together with people. If he loved somebody in his life and he loved

41:41 loved somebody in his life and he loved

41:41 loved somebody in his life and he loved this person, he loved that, he would

41:42 this person, he loved that, he would

41:42 this person, he loved that, he would want you to hang out together. Now,

41:44 want you to hang out together. Now,

41:44 want you to hang out together. Now, sometimes that was really irritating and

41:46 sometimes that was really irritating and

41:46 sometimes that was really irritating and would blow up with disastrous results.

41:48 would blow up with disastrous results.

41:48 would blow up with disastrous results. But most of the time, he I can't even

41:51 But most of the time, he I can't even

41:51 But most of the time, he I can't even begin to fathom just the ones I know

41:54 begin to fathom just the ones I know

41:54 begin to fathom just the ones I know about how many people he put together as

41:57 about how many people he put together as

41:57 about how many people he put together as friends all over this world who became

42:01 friends all over this world who became

42:01 friends all over this world who became friends because of him. And even before

42:03 friends because of him. And even before

42:03 friends because of him. And even before he started traveling international, I'm

42:05 he started traveling international, I'm

42:05 he started traveling international, I'm telling you, people from across the

42:06 telling you, people from across the

42:06 telling you, people from across the world becoming friends with each other.

42:09 world becoming friends with each other.

42:09 world becoming friends with each other. And I'm not talking just content

42:10 And I'm not talking just content

42:10 And I'm not talking just content creators or people who film things or

42:13 creators or people who film things or

42:13 creators or people who film things or whatever. Just all kinds of people, fans

42:15 whatever. Just all kinds of people, fans

42:15 whatever. Just all kinds of people, fans of things, people who would get together

42:16 of things, people who would get together

42:16 of things, people who would get together and go on I was at in Salt Lake City at

42:20 and go on I was at in Salt Lake City at

42:20 and go on I was at in Salt Lake City at um what's it called? Fan X or whatever.

42:22 um what's it called? Fan X or whatever.

42:22 um what's it called? Fan X or whatever. And um the day after it was over, I

42:26 And um the day after it was over, I

42:26 And um the day after it was over, I spent uh the day with my friend Kevin

42:29 spent uh the day with my friend Kevin

42:29 spent uh the day with my friend Kevin from BC Delorean. I don't know if I

42:30 from BC Delorean. I don't know if I

42:30 from BC Delorean. I don't know if I filmed it or not, but we were in um Park

42:32 filmed it or not, but we were in um Park

42:32 filmed it or not, but we were in um Park City, Utah, and

42:35 City, Utah, and

42:35 City, Utah, and and we had another friend there with us.

42:37 and we had another friend there with us.

42:37 and we had another friend there with us. And it was like these guys met because

42:40 And it was like these guys met because

42:40 And it was like these guys met because of Adam, you know, or these guys over

42:42 of Adam, you know, or these guys over

42:42 of Adam, you know, or these guys over here would meet because of Chris Provos

42:45 here would meet because of Chris Provos

42:45 here would meet because of Chris Provos because Chris Provos knew this guy

42:46 because Chris Provos knew this guy

42:46 because Chris Provos knew this guy because of he knew them because of Adam.

42:48 because of he knew them because of Adam.

42:48 because of he knew them because of Adam. And if there were some of us that kind

42:51 And if there were some of us that kind

42:51 And if there were some of us that kind of knew each other, but we never really

42:52 of knew each other, but we never really

42:52 of knew each other, but we never really hung out, Adam would be the first one to

42:53 hung out, Adam would be the first one to

42:53 hung out, Adam would be the first one to be like, "We got to hang out together."

42:56 be like, "We got to hang out together."

42:56 be like, "We got to hang out together." It's like some of the clo people he's

42:58 It's like some of the clo people he's

42:58 It's like some of the clo people he's got closest to in the last couple years,

43:01 got closest to in the last couple years,

43:01 got closest to in the last couple years, especially like Kevin Heimbach. Kevin

43:03 especially like Kevin Heimbach. Kevin

43:03 especially like Kevin Heimbach. Kevin and I never really hung out all that

43:05 and I never really hung out all that

43:05 and I never really hung out all that much until this past year. This past

43:07 much until this past year. This past

43:07 much until this past year. This past year has been an amazing year. I mean, I

43:09 year has been an amazing year. I mean, I

43:09 year has been an amazing year. I mean, I could not be more grateful for the past

43:11 could not be more grateful for the past

43:11 could not be more grateful for the past year and some of the stuff that we got

43:13 year and some of the stuff that we got

43:13 year and some of the stuff that we got to do together and time that we got to

43:15 to do together and time that we got to

43:15 to do together and time that we got to spend with each other. And I'll talk

43:16 spend with each other. And I'll talk

43:16 spend with each other. And I'll talk more about this somewhere else, but

43:19 more about this somewhere else, but

43:19 more about this somewhere else, but cuz we had our

43:21 cuz we had our

43:21 cuz we had our moments of,

43:23 moments of,

43:23 moments of, you know, things too.

43:26 you know, things too.

43:26 you know, things too. But but this last year, like the amount

43:28 But but this last year, like the amount

43:28 But but this last year, like the amount of people he seemed to gather together

43:32 of people he seemed to gather together

43:32 of people he seemed to gather together and connect with each other. And he when

43:35 and connect with each other. And he when

43:35 and connect with each other. And he when when he met Kevin, you know, and like

43:37 when he met Kevin, you know, and like

43:37 when he met Kevin, you know, and like really let him in. It was like, dude, we

43:39 really let him in. It was like, dude, we

43:39 really let him in. It was like, dude, we got to do stuff together. Three amigos.

43:41 got to do stuff together. Three amigos.

43:41 got to do stuff together. Three amigos. We got to do this together or that

43:43 We got to do this together or that

43:43 We got to do this together or that together. Just didn't have that much

43:45 together. Just didn't have that much

43:45 together. Just didn't have that much time yet. Now, unfortunately,

43:47 time yet. Now, unfortunately,

43:47 time yet. Now, unfortunately, in a way, Kevin and I have been thrown

43:50 in a way, Kevin and I have been thrown

43:50 in a way, Kevin and I have been thrown together a little bit in the deep end on

43:52 together a little bit in the deep end on

43:52 together a little bit in the deep end on some of this stuff. And it's been

43:53 some of this stuff. And it's been

43:53 some of this stuff. And it's been amazing to see like someone else that

43:55 amazing to see like someone else that

43:55 amazing to see like someone else that was close and willing to step in the gap

43:58 was close and willing to step in the gap

43:58 was close and willing to step in the gap and try to help and do things. But it's

44:00 and try to help and do things. But it's

44:00 and try to help and do things. But it's like that with dozens of dozens of other

44:02 like that with dozens of dozens of other

44:02 like that with dozens of dozens of other people. So many people that I now in my

44:05 people. So many people that I now in my

44:05 people. So many people that I now in my life call friends and that I know would

44:08 life call friends and that I know would

44:08 life call friends and that I know would have my back and do anything for me.

44:10 have my back and do anything for me.

44:10 have my back and do anything for me. Some of these people like I would have

44:11 Some of these people like I would have

44:11 Some of these people like I would have been too shy. I just would have been too

44:13 been too shy. I just would have been too

44:13 been too shy. I just would have been too shy to like, oh, consider myself a

44:16 shy to like, oh, consider myself a

44:16 shy to like, oh, consider myself a friend. There there are times now where

44:18 friend. There there are times now where

44:18 friend. There there are times now where they invite me out and I'm like, oh, you

44:19 they invite me out and I'm like, oh, you

44:19 they invite me out and I'm like, oh, you know, they don't really want me there,

44:20 know, they don't really want me there,

44:20 know, they don't really want me there, Ally. I'm not going to go. And uh Adam

44:23 Ally. I'm not going to go. And uh Adam

44:23 Ally. I'm not going to go. And uh Adam would not put up with that. He would not

44:25 would not put up with that. He would not

44:25 would not put up with that. He would not put up with that and just drag you out.

44:27 put up with that and just drag you out.

44:27 put up with that and just drag you out. [snorts]

44:28 [snorts]

44:28 [snorts] And so I owe so much to him.

44:34 There's a lot of people telling me like,

44:34 There's a lot of people telling me like, "It's not your responsibility. This,

44:35 "It's not your responsibility. This,

44:36 "It's not your responsibility. This, it's not your respons." Yes, it is

44:37 it's not your respons." Yes, it is

44:37 it's not your respons." Yes, it is because he would have been out here

44:40 because he would have been out here

44:40 because he would have been out here helping Ally, talking to my mom and dad.

44:44 helping Ally, talking to my mom and dad.

44:44 helping Ally, talking to my mom and dad. You know, Adam hated crowds and people

44:46 You know, Adam hated crowds and people

44:46 You know, Adam hated crowds and people too because he he not because he didn't

44:48 too because he he not because he didn't

44:48 too because he he not because he didn't like the love coming back at him that he

44:52 like the love coming back at him that he

44:52 like the love coming back at him that he put out in the world, but because he

44:54 put out in the world, but because he

44:54 put out in the world, but because he felt awkward. He felt like um

44:57 felt awkward. He felt like um

44:58 felt awkward. He felt like um and if you ever had an awkward

44:59 and if you ever had an awkward

44:59 and if you ever had an awkward interaction with him like I just want to

45:00 interaction with him like I just want to

45:00 interaction with him like I just want to say this for the record that he felt

45:04 say this for the record that he felt

45:04 say this for the record that he felt when people would come up to him and

45:05 when people would come up to him and

45:05 when people would come up to him and talk to him sometimes he would feel like

45:07 talk to him sometimes he would feel like

45:07 talk to him sometimes he would feel like a lot like a like he didn't give enough

45:10 a lot like a like he didn't give enough

45:10 a lot like a like he didn't give enough like he didn't know how to and sometimes

45:13 like he didn't know how to and sometimes

45:13 like he didn't know how to and sometimes he did sometimes he was brilliant about

45:14 he did sometimes he was brilliant about

45:14 he did sometimes he was brilliant about it and then other days were just

45:15 it and then other days were just

45:15 it and then other days were just different days where he just thanks man

45:18 different days where he just thanks man

45:18 different days where he just thanks man he just didn't know what to say

45:19 he just didn't know what to say

45:19 he just didn't know what to say sometimes so he sometimes felt really

45:21 sometimes so he sometimes felt really

45:21 sometimes so he sometimes felt really uncomfortable with that stuff but I'm

45:23 uncomfortable with that stuff but I'm

45:23 uncomfortable with that stuff but I'm telling you he And and trust me, the

45:26 telling you he And and trust me, the

45:26 telling you he And and trust me, the amount of things we all invited out to

45:27 amount of things we all invited out to

45:28 amount of things we all invited out to her say, "I'm not doing that."

45:29 her say, "I'm not doing that."

45:29 her say, "I'm not doing that." [laughter]

45:30 [laughter] Stubborn,

45:42 But he would have been the first person

45:42 But he would have been the first person at the door of the church or whatever

45:44 at the door of the church or whatever

45:44 at the door of the church or whatever for me if I was having a funeral or

45:46 for me if I was having a funeral or

45:46 for me if I was having a funeral or wherever,

45:48 wherever,

45:48 wherever, comforting my friends and telling them,

45:50 comforting my friends and telling them,

45:50 comforting my friends and telling them, you know, he talked about you all the

45:51 you know, he talked about you all the

45:51 you know, he talked about you all the time. He loved you and all that stuff.

45:53 time. He loved you and all that stuff.

45:53 time. He loved you and all that stuff. he would be there for me. All I want to

45:55 he would be there for me. All I want to

45:55 he would be there for me. All I want to do is be there for him. And I can't

45:57 do is be there for him. And I can't

45:57 do is be there for him. And I can't because he's gone. I can only do the

46:00 because he's gone. I can only do the

46:00 because he's gone. I can only do the best I can. And the best thing I can do

46:02 best I can. And the best thing I can do

46:02 best I can. And the best thing I can do is get up and keep living cuz I know

46:04 is get up and keep living cuz I know

46:04 is get up and keep living cuz I know that's what he would tell me cuz he told

46:06 that's what he would tell me cuz he told

46:06 that's what he would tell me cuz he told me every damn time that I ever stumbled

46:10 me every damn time that I ever stumbled

46:10 me every damn time that I ever stumbled or had something go wrong.

46:18 I've known Adam for 17 years or 15 years

46:18 I've known Adam for 17 years or 15 years of really close friendship.

46:25 And in 15 years, there's never one thing

46:25 And in 15 years, there's never one thing that ever happened to me. [snorts]

46:27 that ever happened to me. [snorts]

46:27 that ever happened to me. [snorts] No matter where he was in the world or

46:29 No matter where he was in the world or

46:29 No matter where he was in the world or where I was, there was not one time that

46:32 where I was, there was not one time that

46:32 where I was, there was not one time that I didn't get that text or that call from

46:33 I didn't get that text or that call from

46:33 I didn't get that text or that call from him.

46:39 Whether it was about stupid stuff, video

46:39 Whether it was about stupid stuff, video stuff, drama stuff, this stuff, that

46:41 stuff, drama stuff, this stuff, that

46:41 stuff, drama stuff, this stuff, that stuff, a mutual friend would die and

46:43 stuff, a mutual friend would die and

46:43 stuff, a mutual friend would die and we'd comfort each other. Whether it was

46:45 we'd comfort each other. Whether it was

46:45 we'd comfort each other. Whether it was him being proud of someone and wanting

46:47 him being proud of someone and wanting

46:47 him being proud of someone and wanting to tell me about it, him being proud of

46:49 to tell me about it, him being proud of

46:49 to tell me about it, him being proud of me and wanting to tell me,

46:52 me and wanting to tell me,

46:52 me and wanting to tell me, [sighs]

46:53 [sighs]

46:53 [sighs] [snorts]

46:55 [snorts] it's weird. Like, um, ever since he

46:57 it's weird. Like, um, ever since he

46:57 it's weird. Like, um, ever since he moved back to Florida from here, I don't

47:00 moved back to Florida from here, I don't

47:00 moved back to Florida from here, I don't know why, but it's like we both had a

47:04 know why, but it's like we both had a

47:04 know why, but it's like we both had a thing like he

47:12 had the softest heart, really cared

47:12 had the softest heart, really cared about other people, like I'm saying,

47:15 about other people, like I'm saying,

47:15 about other people, like I'm saying, but he was also awkward about hugs and

47:19 but he was also awkward about hugs and

47:20 but he was also awkward about hugs and not the funny ones. I'm talking about

47:21 not the funny ones. I'm talking about

47:21 not the funny ones. I'm talking about like, hey, sincerely, look me in the

47:23 like, hey, sincerely, look me in the

47:23 like, hey, sincerely, look me in the eye. I care about you

47:27 eye. I care about you

47:27 eye. I care about you stuff, right? But this last year or two,

47:31 stuff, right? But this last year or two,

47:31 stuff, right? But this last year or two, I've made it a point. I've lost a lot of

47:33 I've made it a point. I've lost a lot of

47:33 I've made it a point. I've lost a lot of people in the last couple years. It's

47:35 people in the last couple years. It's

47:35 people in the last couple years. It's been really hard and I almost lost Ally

47:36 been really hard and I almost lost Ally

47:36 been really hard and I almost lost Ally a couple years ago. So, it came really

47:39 a couple years ago. So, it came really

47:39 a couple years ago. So, it came really close, more than once actually. And um I

47:42 close, more than once actually. And um I

47:42 close, more than once actually. And um I made a kind of a pact with myself that

47:45 made a kind of a pact with myself that

47:45 made a kind of a pact with myself that like I'm not going to let my friends

47:46 like I'm not going to let my friends

47:46 like I'm not going to let my friends leave a place without telling them that

47:49 leave a place without telling them that

47:49 leave a place without telling them that I love them. I try to I mean I forget

47:50 I love them. I try to I mean I forget

47:50 I love them. I try to I mean I forget sometimes. I really try to remember with

47:52 sometimes. I really try to remember with

47:52 sometimes. I really try to remember with Adam. really

47:54 Adam. really

47:54 Adam. really when he first first moved back there,

47:56 when he first first moved back there,

47:56 when he first first moved back there, there was there was I think a lot of

47:57 there was there was I think a lot of

47:58 there was there was I think a lot of hurt and a lot of loneliness and a lot

47:59 hurt and a lot of loneliness and a lot

47:59 hurt and a lot of loneliness and a lot of Adam's been burned and hurt a few

48:01 of Adam's been burned and hurt a few

48:02 of Adam's been burned and hurt a few times

48:03 times

48:04 times where he would

48:06 where he would

48:06 where he would like he like I said, he's hardcore about

48:07 like he like I said, he's hardcore about

48:07 like he like I said, he's hardcore about everything, right? I'm not I'm going to

48:09 everything, right? I'm not I'm going to

48:09 everything, right? I'm not I'm going to withdraw, you know, into my fortress.

48:12 withdraw, you know, into my fortress.

48:12 withdraw, you know, into my fortress. >> [snorts]

48:13 >> [snorts] >> I knew it was important to grab him.

48:17 >> I knew it was important to grab him.

48:17 >> I knew it was important to grab him. Like he's grabbed me and lifted me up so

48:19 Like he's grabbed me and lifted me up so

48:19 Like he's grabbed me and lifted me up so many times that every time that we were

48:21 many times that every time that we were

48:21 many times that every time that we were together, every time we were physically

48:22 together, every time we were physically

48:22 together, every time we were physically in the same place to go, "Hey, dude. I

48:24 in the same place to go, "Hey, dude. I

48:24 in the same place to go, "Hey, dude. I love you. I love you."

48:30 Give him a hug and at first it's always

48:30 Give him a hug and at first it's always like, "Okay, yeah, I know you too, man."

48:33 like, "Okay, yeah, I know you too, man."

48:33 like, "Okay, yeah, I know you too, man." And by the end, by the last couple times

48:36 And by the end, by the last couple times

48:36 And by the end, by the last couple times here where he was flying off somewhere,

48:39 here where he was flying off somewhere,

48:39 here where he was flying off somewhere, I'd take him to the airport to go to

48:40 I'd take him to the airport to go to

48:40 I'd take him to the airport to go to Korea or this or that or the other

48:42 Korea or this or that or the other

48:42 Korea or this or that or the other thing,

48:43 thing,

48:43 thing, sit in the car for a long time, I'd be

48:46 sit in the car for a long time, I'd be

48:46 sit in the car for a long time, I'd be like, "Dude, I love you, man." And he'd

48:47 like, "Dude, I love you, man." And he'd

48:48 like, "Dude, I love you, man." And he'd uh grab me. I was like, "Dude, I love

48:49 uh grab me. I was like, "Dude, I love

48:49 uh grab me. I was like, "Dude, I love you, too, man." you know,

48:51 you, too, man." you know,

48:52 you, too, man." you know, and uh that's the one thing that like

48:55 and uh that's the one thing that like

48:55 and uh that's the one thing that like even right from the beginning right now,

48:56 even right from the beginning right now,

48:56 even right from the beginning right now, it's like

48:59 it's like

48:59 it's like that's the one thing I'm I feel happy

49:01 that's the one thing I'm I feel happy

49:01 that's the one thing I'm I feel happy about

49:03 about is that he knew how much he meant to me.

49:05 is that he knew how much he meant to me.

49:05 is that he knew how much he meant to me. He knew how much I loved him. Like not

49:07 He knew how much I loved him. Like not

49:07 He knew how much I loved him. Like not as Adam the Woo, but as my friend, you

49:09 as Adam the Woo, but as my friend, you

49:09 as Adam the Woo, but as my friend, you know. And uh that's why I say like I'm

49:13 know. And uh that's why I say like I'm

49:13 know. And uh that's why I say like I'm just going to end this now the same way

49:15 just going to end this now the same way

49:15 just going to end this now the same way I ended the other day is just make it

49:17 I ended the other day is just make it

49:17 I ended the other day is just make it weird. Grab your friends and tell them

49:20 weird. Grab your friends and tell them

49:20 weird. Grab your friends and tell them that you love them. I don't care how

49:21 that you love them. I don't care how

49:21 that you love them. I don't care how uncomfortable they are, how weird they

49:23 uncomfortable they are, how weird they

49:23 uncomfortable they are, how weird they get about it. Some of us, I mean, I am

49:25 get about it. Some of us, I mean, I am

49:25 get about it. Some of us, I mean, I am one of those people. It's very, very

49:26 one of those people. It's very, very

49:26 one of those people. It's very, very hard for me to take a compliment or to

49:29 hard for me to take a compliment or to

49:29 hard for me to take a compliment or to receive love. I love to give love. You

49:32 receive love. I love to give love. You

49:32 receive love. I love to give love. You know, I I find it very uncomfortable

49:35 know, I I find it very uncomfortable

49:35 know, I I find it very uncomfortable to take it or to listen to someone tell

49:37 to take it or to listen to someone tell

49:37 to take it or to listen to someone tell me that they love me or care about me.

49:39 me that they love me or care about me.

49:39 me that they love me or care about me. But just grab them anyways and tell them

49:42 But just grab them anyways and tell them

49:42 But just grab them anyways and tell them because you don't know what it's you

49:45 because you don't know what it's you

49:45 because you don't know what it's you don't know when it's going to be the

49:46 don't know when it's going to be the

49:46 don't know when it's going to be the last time.

49:52 And uh

49:52 And uh that's the best way I know to stave off

49:55 that's the best way I know to stave off

49:55 that's the best way I know to stave off some of the pain

50:01 and it'll all be our turn one day to go,

50:01 and it'll all be our turn one day to go, you know.

50:04 you know.

50:04 you know. And uh [sighs]

50:06 And uh [sighs]

50:06 And uh [sighs] I hope when I'm gone people are laughing

50:09 I hope when I'm gone people are laughing

50:09 I hope when I'm gone people are laughing as much as they're crying. I mean,

50:10 as much as they're crying. I mean,

50:10 as much as they're crying. I mean, that's the best you can ask for, right?

50:14 that's the best you can ask for, right?

50:14 that's the best you can ask for, right? just to remember the good things, to

50:16 just to remember the good things, to

50:16 just to remember the good things, to laugh, and to uh hopefully give me some

50:19 laugh, and to uh hopefully give me some

50:19 laugh, and to uh hopefully give me some grace and forget my flaws and my faults

50:22 grace and forget my flaws and my faults

50:22 grace and forget my flaws and my faults and uh judge me on the things that I

50:26 and uh judge me on the things that I

50:26 and uh judge me on the things that I managed to do right or managed to do

50:28 managed to do right or managed to do

50:28 managed to do right or managed to do that were good

50:30 that were good

50:30 that were good and give me that grace. And I hope that

50:32 and give me that grace. And I hope that

50:32 and give me that grace. And I hope that uh it's the same with Adam. Although, I

50:34 uh it's the same with Adam. Although, I

50:34 uh it's the same with Adam. Although, I got to say, the guy did a lot more good

50:36 got to say, the guy did a lot more good

50:36 got to say, the guy did a lot more good in the world than anything else.

50:38 in the world than anything else.

50:38 in the world than anything else. He was brilliant. He was funny. one of

50:41 He was brilliant. He was funny. one of

50:41 He was brilliant. He was funny. one of the funniest people I've ever known in

50:42 the funniest people I've ever known in

50:42 the funniest people I've ever known in my whole life. And he loved to laugh. He

50:45 my whole life. And he loved to laugh. He

50:46 my whole life. And he loved to laugh. He loved to sit there and talk. And off

50:48 loved to sit there and talk. And off

50:48 loved to sit there and talk. And off camera, Adam was the same as he was on

50:50 camera, Adam was the same as he was on

50:50 camera, Adam was the same as he was on camera, except he loved to really really

50:53 camera, except he loved to really really

50:53 camera, except he loved to really really talk and know everything and laugh at

50:55 talk and know everything and laugh at

50:55 talk and know everything and laugh at everything. There was nothing in the

50:57 everything. There was nothing in the

50:57 everything. There was nothing in the world that couldn't be funny to him.

51:01 world that couldn't be funny to him.

51:01 world that couldn't be funny to him. I will miss that laugh. I know at some

51:03 I will miss that laugh. I know at some

51:04 I will miss that laugh. I know at some point I've got to mix

51:10 normal life back into the equation or

51:10 normal life back into the equation or something like normal life

51:13 something like normal life

51:13 something like normal life and go back to

51:16 and go back to

51:16 and go back to living and doing the things that we're

51:18 living and doing the things that we're

51:18 living and doing the things that we're passionate about. My friend Bob Ger

51:19 passionate about. My friend Bob Ger

51:19 passionate about. My friend Bob Ger always says while alive

51:27 and uh we can't just sit around thinking

51:27 and uh we can't just sit around thinking about and talking about Adam forever. I

51:28 about and talking about Adam forever. I

51:28 about and talking about Adam forever. I don't know how long that's going to take

51:30 don't know how long that's going to take

51:30 don't know how long that's going to take though. But uh I had to get out of the

51:31 though. But uh I had to get out of the

51:31 though. But uh I had to get out of the house today. They just take a step in

51:34 house today. They just take a step in

51:34 house today. They just take a step in that direction. Please bear with me. Be

51:37 that direction. Please bear with me. Be

51:37 that direction. Please bear with me. Be patient with me cuz um

51:40 patient with me cuz um

51:40 patient with me cuz um you know I am obviously going to have my

51:42 you know I am obviously going to have my

51:42 you know I am obviously going to have my friend on my mind a lot. I'm going to

51:45 friend on my mind a lot. I'm going to

51:45 friend on my mind a lot. I'm going to want to talk about him a lot. Hopefully

51:47 want to talk about him a lot. Hopefully

51:47 want to talk about him a lot. Hopefully I get to a place where we can do

51:48 I get to a place where we can do

51:48 I get to a place where we can do something where I don't feel the need to

51:50 something where I don't feel the need to

51:50 something where I don't feel the need to just gush at you.

51:53 just gush at you.

51:53 just gush at you. And uh

51:55 And uh it's been tough. It's been hard. But

51:59 it's been tough. It's been hard. But

51:59 it's been tough. It's been hard. But I got to even now it's still early. I'm

52:02 I got to even now it's still early. I'm

52:02 I got to even now it's still early. I'm sure it's going to hit me worse and

52:03 sure it's going to hit me worse and

52:03 sure it's going to hit me worse and harder at different times.

52:05 harder at different times.

52:06 harder at different times. But uh even now

52:08 But uh even now

52:08 But uh even now I have to say that the overwhelming

52:10 I have to say that the overwhelming

52:10 I have to say that the overwhelming feeling the thing that I can feel past

52:12 feeling the thing that I can feel past

52:12 feeling the thing that I can feel past all the numbness and all the other bad

52:15 all the numbness and all the other bad

52:15 all the numbness and all the other bad stuff and sadness and all things I feel

52:17 stuff and sadness and all things I feel

52:17 stuff and sadness and all things I feel so so grateful.

52:36 And uh you know he gave me so many gifts

52:40 you know he gave me so many gifts

52:40 you know he gave me so many gifts and put me like I said put me on the

52:43 and put me like I said put me on the

52:43 and put me like I said put me on the path and help me stay on the good path

52:46 path and help me stay on the good path

52:46 path and help me stay on the good path when my life fell apart.

52:49 when my life fell apart.

52:49 when my life fell apart. And I wouldn't be here talking to you

52:51 And I wouldn't be here talking to you

52:51 And I wouldn't be here talking to you without him.

52:54 without him.

52:54 without him. And so not just grateful for him,

52:55 And so not just grateful for him,

52:56 And so not just grateful for him, grateful for his friendship, but

52:57 grateful for his friendship, but

52:57 grateful for his friendship, but grateful for all you and just

53:01 grateful for all you and just

53:01 grateful for all you and just everything.

53:02 everything.

53:02 everything. [snorts] I feel grateful. I feel

53:07 [snorts] I feel grateful. I feel

53:07 [snorts] I feel grateful. I feel blessed. I mean, I feel guilty. I feel

53:08 blessed. I mean, I feel guilty. I feel

53:08 blessed. I mean, I feel guilty. I feel the survivor's guilt. I feel angry. I

53:10 the survivor's guilt. I feel angry. I

53:10 the survivor's guilt. I feel angry. I feel despair. I feel all the things. But

53:12 feel despair. I feel all the things. But

53:12 feel despair. I feel all the things. But I feel mostly I feel just this deep

53:15 I feel mostly I feel just this deep

53:15 I feel mostly I feel just this deep sense of gratitude that I feel like I

53:17 sense of gratitude that I feel like I

53:17 sense of gratitude that I feel like I can never repay. And uh

53:21 can never repay. And uh

53:21 can never repay. And uh I think that's like the safest spot to

53:23 I think that's like the safest spot to

53:23 I think that's like the safest spot to sit, right? Is just in that

53:24 sit, right? Is just in that

53:24 sit, right? Is just in that gratefulness. [snorts]

53:30 So, um I just want to say to you just

53:30 So, um I just want to say to you just real quick cuz I got to go. Um

53:35 real quick cuz I got to go. Um

53:35 real quick cuz I got to go. Um thank you to everyone that's been

53:36 thank you to everyone that's been

53:36 thank you to everyone that's been tagging me and just weird videos or

53:39 tagging me and just weird videos or

53:39 tagging me and just weird videos or pictures you've taken over the years and

53:41 pictures you've taken over the years and

53:41 pictures you've taken over the years and um memories and things. It's been tough

53:43 um memories and things. It's been tough

53:43 um memories and things. It's been tough looking at all that. It's been tough

53:45 looking at all that. It's been tough

53:45 looking at all that. It's been tough like

53:48 like going back through all that now, but

53:50 going back through all that now, but

53:50 going back through all that now, but also like um it means a lot because

53:54 also like um it means a lot because

53:54 also like um it means a lot because they're all the laughing things and the

53:55 they're all the laughing things and the

53:55 they're all the laughing things and the funny things and the stupid things and

53:57 funny things and the stupid things and

53:58 funny things and the stupid things and um

54:03 um it's meant a lot to me and it's meant

54:03 um it's meant a lot to me and it's meant a lot to me to see all the tributes

54:04 a lot to me to see all the tributes

54:04 a lot to me to see all the tributes especially like the nice things the you

54:06 especially like the nice things the you

54:06 especially like the nice things the you know people leaving gift cards at

54:08 know people leaving gift cards at

54:08 know people leaving gift cards at Starbucks so that people can come in and

54:10 Starbucks so that people can come in and

54:10 Starbucks so that people can come in and have a drink on Adam and uh carving the

54:12 have a drink on Adam and uh carving the

54:12 have a drink on Adam and uh carving the name into the bench just the silly

54:14 name into the bench just the silly

54:14 name into the bench just the silly things.

54:16 things.

54:16 things. Um,

54:19 Um, nobody can speak for Adam, but for for

54:21 nobody can speak for Adam, but for for

54:21 nobody can speak for Adam, but for for my part, thank you so much. I mean,

54:23 my part, thank you so much. I mean,

54:23 my part, thank you so much. I mean, someone put up a billboard outside

54:25 someone put up a billboard outside

54:25 someone put up a billboard outside celebration

54:26 celebration

54:26 celebration just saying, you know, in remembrance of

54:29 just saying, you know, in remembrance of

54:29 just saying, you know, in remembrance of kind of thing.

54:32 kind of thing.

54:32 kind of thing. I'm so grateful. And um

54:35 I'm so grateful. And um

54:36 I'm so grateful. And um I don't want to speak for Adam's family.

54:37 I don't want to speak for Adam's family.

54:37 I don't want to speak for Adam's family. They'll they'll be able to speak for

54:39 They'll they'll be able to speak for

54:39 They'll they'll be able to speak for themselves when the time is right. But I

54:41 themselves when the time is right. But I

54:41 themselves when the time is right. But I know they see a lot of these tributes

54:43 know they see a lot of these tributes

54:43 know they see a lot of these tributes and and I know they know how much their

54:45 and and I know they know how much their

54:45 and and I know they know how much their son meant to so many people. They're

54:48 son meant to so many people. They're

54:48 son meant to so many people. They're still they're finding out, you know,

54:49 still they're finding out, you know,

54:49 still they're finding out, you know, just how much he really meant to

54:51 just how much he really meant to

54:51 just how much he really meant to everyone.

54:53 everyone. And uh but like I said, he was he was

54:55 And uh but like I said, he was he was

54:55 And uh but like I said, he was he was theirs. So please keep them in your

54:57 theirs. So please keep them in your

54:58 theirs. So please keep them in your prayers, your thoughts, your good vibes,

54:59 prayers, your thoughts, your good vibes,

54:59 prayers, your thoughts, your good vibes, whatever it is you believe in. And um

55:04 whatever it is you believe in. And um

55:04 whatever it is you believe in. And um and thank you and thanks for listening

55:08 and thank you and thanks for listening

55:08 and thank you and thanks for listening to me cry in the city hall parking lot

55:12 to me cry in the city hall parking lot

55:12 to me cry in the city hall parking lot because I had to get out. I don't know

55:15 because I had to get out. I don't know

55:15 because I had to get out. I don't know if I'm going to upload this. If you see

55:16 if I'm going to upload this. If you see

55:16 if I'm going to upload this. If you see this, that means Adam won and uh his

55:20 this, that means Adam won and uh his

55:20 this, that means Adam won and uh his voice won over my voice in my head

55:22 voice won over my voice in my head

55:22 voice won over my voice in my head that's like, yeah, just don't do this.

55:23 that's like, yeah, just don't do this.

55:23 that's like, yeah, just don't do this. Just wait till later.

55:31 Ally and so many wonderful other friends

55:31 Ally and so many wonderful other friends that we have and Adam's friends and even

55:33 that we have and Adam's friends and even

55:33 that we have and Adam's friends and even Adam's parents and his sister have been

55:36 Adam's parents and his sister have been

55:36 Adam's parents and his sister have been just so wonderful and um

55:39 just so wonderful and um

55:39 just so wonderful and um saying nice things to me when I'm

55:41 saying nice things to me when I'm

55:41 saying nice things to me when I'm worried about them and uh

55:45 worried about them and uh

55:45 worried about them and uh like I said people that were Adam's

55:46 like I said people that were Adam's

55:46 like I said people that were Adam's heroes maybe don't want to be named and

55:48 heroes maybe don't want to be named and

55:48 heroes maybe don't want to be named and things messaging me and telling me take

55:51 things messaging me and telling me take

55:51 things messaging me and telling me take care of myself and all this stuff like I

55:53 care of myself and all this stuff like I

55:53 care of myself and all this stuff like I guess it's all I can do and I guess

55:55 guess it's all I can do and I guess

55:55 guess it's all I can do and I guess that's what Adam would want me to do. It

55:56 that's what Adam would want me to do. It

55:56 that's what Adam would want me to do. It just feels wrong and weird. It's like

55:57 just feels wrong and weird. It's like

55:57 just feels wrong and weird. It's like anything, you know, you lose someone,

55:59 anything, you know, you lose someone,

55:59 anything, you know, you lose someone, you just feel like wrong for thinking

56:01 you just feel like wrong for thinking

56:01 you just feel like wrong for thinking about yourself, you know? You don't eat,

56:03 about yourself, you know? You don't eat,

56:03 about yourself, you know? You don't eat, you don't sleep, you don't do all these

56:04 you don't sleep, you don't do all these

56:04 you don't sleep, you don't do all these things. And it's just

56:07 things. And it's just

56:07 things. And it's just it's tough. But, uh, we're going to get

56:09 it's tough. But, uh, we're going to get

56:10 it's tough. But, uh, we're going to get through it.

56:12 through it.

56:12 through it. And I'll just leave you with something

56:13 And I'll just leave you with something

56:13 And I'll just leave you with something that, um, Adam and my good friend Jimmy

56:18 that, um, Adam and my good friend Jimmy

56:18 that, um, Adam and my good friend Jimmy called me today and talked to me for a

56:20 called me today and talked to me for a

56:20 called me today and talked to me for a long time, but this morning when I woke

56:21 long time, but this morning when I woke

56:21 long time, but this morning when I woke up and sent me a text that meant a lot

56:23 up and sent me a text that meant a lot

56:24 up and sent me a text that meant a lot to me, and I and I'll share it with you.

56:25 to me, and I and I'll share it with you.

56:25 to me, and I and I'll share it with you. told him this morning, I'm either

56:26 told him this morning, I'm either

56:26 told him this morning, I'm either weeping or having like an out of body

56:29 weeping or having like an out of body

56:30 weeping or having like an out of body feeling. [snorts]

56:32 feeling. [snorts]

56:32 feeling. [snorts] So, numbness is new and helpful.

56:35 So, numbness is new and helpful.

56:35 So, numbness is new and helpful. And he said, it'll be like that for a

56:37 And he said, it'll be like that for a

56:37 And he said, it'll be like that for a while and then one day you may just feel

56:41 while and then one day you may just feel

56:41 while and then one day you may just feel like he's with you and you'll be able to

56:44 like he's with you and you'll be able to

56:44 like he's with you and you'll be able to breathe for a second.

56:47 breathe for a second.

56:47 breathe for a second. Then he would say that's what happened

56:49 Then he would say that's what happened

56:49 Then he would say that's what happened when he lost his dad.

57:04 that feeling like um he's close.

57:04 that feeling like um he's close. And I know a lot of his other friends

57:05 And I know a lot of his other friends

57:05 And I know a lot of his other friends have said the same thing. I feel like

57:07 have said the same thing. I feel like

57:07 have said the same thing. I feel like he's close. He was so big in our lives.

57:08 he's close. He was so big in our lives.

57:08 he's close. He was so big in our lives. He'll never he'll never really be gone.

57:13 He'll never he'll never really be gone.

57:13 He'll never he'll never really be gone. I think that's what makes it so hard,

57:15 I think that's what makes it so hard,

57:15 I think that's what makes it so hard, but also

57:17 but also

57:17 but also bittersweet, like to know that he was

57:21 bittersweet, like to know that he was

57:21 bittersweet, like to know that he was such a force. [snorts]

57:24 such a force. [snorts]

57:24 such a force. [snorts] He's gone, but he's not gone.

57:30 So, I don't know what else I can do and

57:30 So, I don't know what else I can do and say now. Obviously, nothing. I need to

57:32 say now. Obviously, nothing. I need to

57:32 say now. Obviously, nothing. I need to go home. I need to eat something. I need

57:34 go home. I need to eat something. I need

57:34 go home. I need to eat something. I need to

57:36 to

57:36 to crack open a frosty Mountain Dew.

57:38 crack open a frosty Mountain Dew.

57:38 crack open a frosty Mountain Dew. Something I have not done not done since

57:41 Something I have not done not done since

57:41 Something I have not done not done since the last time Adam and I were together.

57:43 the last time Adam and I were together.

57:43 the last time Adam and I were together. Let's sneak off and have a do cuz both

57:45 Let's sneak off and have a do cuz both

57:45 Let's sneak off and have a do cuz both of us are on trying to do the zero sugar

57:47 of us are on trying to do the zero sugar

57:47 of us are on trying to do the zero sugar drinks and all that. [snorts]

57:49 drinks and all that. [snorts]

57:49 drinks and all that. [snorts] So, I'm going to crack open a frosty

57:51 So, I'm going to crack open a frosty

57:51 So, I'm going to crack open a frosty dew. Get yourself a piping hot

57:53 dew. Get yourself a piping hot

57:53 dew. Get yourself a piping hot caffeinated beverage.

57:56 caffeinated beverage.

57:56 caffeinated beverage. [snorts]

57:57 [snorts] If it's possible, have an adventure. But

57:59 If it's possible, have an adventure. But

57:59 If it's possible, have an adventure. But even if you're stuck at home or you

58:01 even if you're stuck at home or you

58:01 even if you're stuck at home or you know, whatever after work, pop on a good

58:03 know, whatever after work, pop on a good

58:03 know, whatever after work, pop on a good movie. Pop on something funny that Adam

58:05 movie. Pop on something funny that Adam

58:05 movie. Pop on something funny that Adam loved. Fletch, Back to the Future,

58:06 loved. Fletch, Back to the Future,

58:06 loved. Fletch, Back to the Future, something. Have a good laugh. His videos

58:09 something. Have a good laugh. His videos

58:09 something. Have a good laugh. His videos are always there, which is an amazing

58:11 are always there, which is an amazing

58:11 are always there, which is an amazing thing. I mean, just an amazing thing.

58:19 And uh keep Adam and his family in your in your

58:21 keep Adam and his family in your in your

58:21 keep Adam and his family in your in your thoughts and prayers. That's all I can

58:23 thoughts and prayers. That's all I can

58:23 thoughts and prayers. That's all I can say for now. Sorry that went so long.

58:26 say for now. Sorry that went so long.

58:26 say for now. Sorry that went so long. Sorry that it was weird. Sorry to get

58:28 Sorry that it was weird. Sorry to get

58:28 Sorry that it was weird. Sorry to get weird,

58:40 for me, thank you. um to those of you

58:40 for me, thank you. um to those of you who have uh been mine and Adam's mutual

58:42 who have uh been mine and Adam's mutual

58:42 who have uh been mine and Adam's mutual friends all these years and um

58:45 friends all these years and um

58:45 friends all these years and um supportive and kind and um

58:49 supportive and kind and um

58:49 supportive and kind and um being part of what Adam called the

58:51 being part of what Adam called the

58:51 being part of what Adam called the circle of goodness

58:53 circle of goodness

58:53 circle of goodness and um

58:55 and um

58:55 and um it means a lot. He's helping keep me

58:58 it means a lot. He's helping keep me

58:58 it means a lot. He's helping keep me going. [snorts]

59:00 going. [snorts]

59:00 going. [snorts] And uh that's it. That's all I got.

59:04 And uh that's it. That's all I got.

59:04 And uh that's it. That's all I got. I'm going to go cry now for a while. Um,

59:09 I'm going to go cry now for a while. Um,

59:09 I'm going to go cry now for a while. Um, I hope you have a happy new year.

59:12 I hope you have a happy new year.

59:12 I hope you have a happy new year. I hope I'll be back soon.

59:15 I hope I'll be back soon.

59:15 I hope I'll be back soon. Until then, go home. [sighs]

59:19 Until then, go home. [sighs]

59:19 Until then, go home. [sighs] Sleep well.

Transcript