I Never thought this would Happen.... and my Most Important Message

0:01 well it looks like the wet weather isn't

0:01 well it looks like the wet weather isn't done with us in Southern California yet

0:03 done with us in Southern California yet

0:03 done with us in Southern California yet March is closing out with a couple extra

0:06 March is closing out with a couple extra

0:06 March is closing out with a couple extra wet soggy gray gloomy days and even

0:10 wet soggy gray gloomy days and even

0:10 wet soggy gray gloomy days and even though I've personally been sort of

0:11 though I've personally been sort of

0:11 though I've personally been sort of under the weather the last couple of

0:12 under the weather the last couple of

0:12 under the weather the last couple of days I'm not letting this weather get to

0:14 days I'm not letting this weather get to

0:14 days I'm not letting this weather get to me at all I'm not feeling gloomy in any

0:18 me at all I'm not feeling gloomy in any

0:18 me at all I'm not feeling gloomy in any way much the opposite in fact I have

0:21 way much the opposite in fact I have

0:21 way much the opposite in fact I have just had my 40th trip around the Sun

0:25 just had my 40th trip around the Sun

0:25 just had my 40th trip around the Sun complete and celebrated my birthday now

0:29 complete and celebrated my birthday now

0:29 complete and celebrated my birthday now I'm not a big birthday guy I'm

0:31 I'm not a big birthday guy I'm

0:31 I'm not a big birthday guy I'm especially not a big birthday party guy

0:34 especially not a big birthday party guy

0:34 especially not a big birthday party guy for childhood reasons birthday parties

0:36 for childhood reasons birthday parties

0:36 for childhood reasons birthday parties and I just never really had a good

0:38 and I just never really had a good

0:38 and I just never really had a good history together but this occasion was

0:40 history together but this occasion was

0:40 history together but this occasion was very very different look at the mess in

0:43 very very different look at the mess in

0:43 very very different look at the mess in here I've been avoiding big birthday

0:45 here I've been avoiding big birthday

0:45 here I've been avoiding big birthday parties longer than I've been avoiding

0:47 parties longer than I've been avoiding

0:47 parties longer than I've been avoiding cleaning out this van but this year for

0:51 cleaning out this van but this year for

0:51 cleaning out this van but this year for 40 officially getting old

0:53 40 officially getting old

0:54 40 officially getting old so old Ally convinced me that you know

0:57 so old Ally convinced me that you know

0:57 so old Ally convinced me that you know what you need to do something other

0:59 what you need to do something other

0:59 what you need to do something other people want to do something for your

1:00 people want to do something for your

1:00 people want to do something for your birthday people want to get together

1:02 birthday people want to get together

1:02 birthday people want to get together just let other people celebrate and do

1:05 just let other people celebrate and do

1:05 just let other people celebrate and do what they want to do and I I sort of

1:07 what they want to do and I I sort of

1:07 what they want to do and I I sort of finally agreed mostly because I was

1:09 finally agreed mostly because I was

1:09 finally agreed mostly because I was thinking you know what the day after I

1:11 thinking you know what the day after I

1:11 thinking you know what the day after I turned 40 I'm going to be sitting there

1:13 turned 40 I'm going to be sitting there

1:13 turned 40 I'm going to be sitting there going

1:14 going

1:14 going should I have done something with this

1:16 should I have done something with this

1:16 should I have done something with this you know what I mean so while I was

1:18 you know what I mean so while I was

1:18 you know what I mean so while I was busily traveling around the world and

1:21 busily traveling around the world and

1:21 busily traveling around the world and the country and going back and forth to

1:23 the country and going back and forth to

1:24 the country and going back and forth to Florida and going back and forth to LA

1:26 Florida and going back and forth to LA

1:27 Florida and going back and forth to LA and filming stuff and then going on a

1:29 and filming stuff and then going on a

1:30 and filming stuff and then going on a birthday trip with my son and my dad and

1:32 birthday trip with my son and my dad and

1:32 birthday trip with my son and my dad and my brother it's like all of our

1:33 my brother it's like all of our

1:33 my brother it's like all of our birthdays around the same time so we all

1:34 birthdays around the same time so we all

1:34 birthdays around the same time so we all took off and went up to uh sort of

1:37 took off and went up to uh sort of

1:37 took off and went up to uh sort of central eastern California up in the

1:39 central eastern California up in the

1:39 central eastern California up in the mountains and Death Valley in the desert

1:41 mountains and Death Valley in the desert

1:41 mountains and Death Valley in the desert so just to get away together for a while

1:42 so just to get away together for a while

1:42 so just to get away together for a while spend a little family time all that was

1:44 spend a little family time all that was

1:44 spend a little family time all that was going on Ali was here putting together a

1:48 going on Ali was here putting together a

1:48 going on Ali was here putting together a huge birthday party for me inviting all

1:52 huge birthday party for me inviting all

1:52 huge birthday party for me inviting all these people that I haven't talked to

1:53 these people that I haven't talked to

1:53 these people that I haven't talked to some of them in 10 years other people

1:55 some of them in 10 years other people

1:55 some of them in 10 years other people that I just haven't seen in a long time

1:57 that I just haven't seen in a long time

1:57 that I just haven't seen in a long time inviting people started from different

1:59 inviting people started from different

1:59 inviting people started from different bubbles of my life all to the same party

2:01 bubbles of my life all to the same party

2:01 bubbles of my life all to the same party like people that don't normally mix

2:02 like people that don't normally mix

2:02 like people that don't normally mix together friends I have from Disney and

2:05 together friends I have from Disney and

2:05 together friends I have from Disney and friends I've got from road trips and

2:07 friends I've got from road trips and

2:07 friends I've got from road trips and friends I had from the band and my

2:09 friends I had from the band and my

2:09 friends I had from the band and my family and just like all these different

2:11 family and just like all these different

2:11 family and just like all these different friend groups mixing together

2:13 friend groups mixing together

2:13 friend groups mixing together uh oh looks like we got a leak another

2:17 uh oh looks like we got a leak another

2:17 uh oh looks like we got a leak another leak in this van oh man come on I really

2:22 leak in this van oh man come on I really

2:22 leak in this van oh man come on I really need a shop I need a van guy over here

2:24 need a shop I need a van guy over here

2:24 need a shop I need a van guy over here anyway to put this kind of in

2:25 anyway to put this kind of in

2:25 anyway to put this kind of in perspective one of the last big birthday

2:27 perspective one of the last big birthday

2:27 perspective one of the last big birthday parties I was supposed to have as a kid

2:29 parties I was supposed to have as a kid

2:29 parties I was supposed to have as a kid at majeska Park in Anaheim with my

2:31 at majeska Park in Anaheim with my

2:31 at majeska Park in Anaheim with my brother because our birthdays are so

2:32 brother because our birthdays are so

2:33 brother because our birthdays are so close together we always combine parties

2:34 close together we always combine parties

2:34 close together we always combine parties we were supposed to invite our whole

2:35 we were supposed to invite our whole

2:35 we were supposed to invite our whole classes he invited his whole class my

2:38 classes he invited his whole class my

2:38 classes he invited his whole class my class was smaller because we had

2:39 class was smaller because we had

2:39 class was smaller because we had combined grades I invited everybody that

2:41 combined grades I invited everybody that

2:41 combined grades I invited everybody that was in my class probably 10 or 15 kids

2:43 was in my class probably 10 or 15 kids

2:43 was in my class probably 10 or 15 kids and uh it's embarrassing still but not

2:46 and uh it's embarrassing still but not

2:46 and uh it's embarrassing still but not one of them showed up nobody I mean my

2:49 one of them showed up nobody I mean my

2:49 one of them showed up nobody I mean my family showed up my family's always been

2:51 family showed up my family's always been

2:51 family showed up my family's always been good to me but literally not none of the

2:53 good to me but literally not none of the

2:54 good to me but literally not none of the friends none of the enemies nobody from

2:56 friends none of the enemies nobody from

2:56 friends none of the enemies nobody from The Clash I went to all their birthdays

2:57 The Clash I went to all their birthdays

2:57 The Clash I went to all their birthdays at the same park and I remember waiting

2:59 at the same park and I remember waiting

2:59 at the same park and I remember waiting there on the side of the road all sad

3:00 there on the side of the road all sad

3:00 there on the side of the road all sad and it feels like it happened to

3:02 and it feels like it happened to

3:02 and it feels like it happened to somebody else not to me because it was

3:03 somebody else not to me because it was

3:03 somebody else not to me because it was so long ago I just remember waiting like

3:05 so long ago I just remember waiting like

3:05 so long ago I just remember waiting like nobody came so after that I didn't want

3:07 nobody came so after that I didn't want

3:07 nobody came so after that I didn't want to have any more big embarrassing

3:09 to have any more big embarrassing

3:09 to have any more big embarrassing birthday parties you know pretty much

3:10 birthday parties you know pretty much

3:10 birthday parties you know pretty much from that point on what my parents

3:12 from that point on what my parents

3:12 from that point on what my parents wanted to do something it was mostly

3:13 wanted to do something it was mostly

3:13 wanted to do something it was mostly family maybe a few friends three or four

3:16 family maybe a few friends three or four

3:16 family maybe a few friends three or four friends a handful of friends I let him

3:18 friends a handful of friends I let him

3:18 friends a handful of friends I let him do a little something when I was 16 or

3:19 do a little something when I was 16 or

3:19 do a little something when I was 16 or 18 but I really had no other big

3:22 18 but I really had no other big

3:22 18 but I really had no other big birthday parties there were parties

3:24 birthday parties there were parties

3:24 birthday parties there were parties where my band invited their friends or

3:26 where my band invited their friends or

3:26 where my band invited their friends or my ex invited her friends to uh you know

3:29 my ex invited her friends to uh you know

3:29 my ex invited her friends to uh you know get together and drink and whatever that

3:32 get together and drink and whatever that

3:32 get together and drink and whatever that happened to be near my birthday but

3:33 happened to be near my birthday but

3:33 happened to be near my birthday but really weren't for my birthday and there

3:36 really weren't for my birthday and there

3:36 really weren't for my birthday and there was a famous birthday uh planned for me

3:38 was a famous birthday uh planned for me

3:38 was a famous birthday uh planned for me by an ex while after I was told we were

3:40 by an ex while after I was told we were

3:40 by an ex while after I was told we were getting divorced and the whole thing was

3:42 getting divorced and the whole thing was

3:42 getting divorced and the whole thing was going down uh where I got really super

3:44 going down uh where I got really super

3:44 going down uh where I got really super glutened by the party it was on the day

3:46 glutened by the party it was on the day

3:46 glutened by the party it was on the day of my great uncle's funeral I had been a

3:48 of my great uncle's funeral I had been a

3:48 of my great uncle's funeral I had been a pallbearer that morning and I was told I

3:50 pallbearer that morning and I was told I

3:50 pallbearer that morning and I was told I wasn't allowed to cancel the surprise

3:52 wasn't allowed to cancel the surprise

3:52 wasn't allowed to cancel the surprise party when I found out about it uh and

3:54 party when I found out about it uh and

3:54 party when I found out about it uh and then I got there got super gluten and

3:56 then I got there got super gluten and

3:56 then I got there got super gluten and sick and then got yelled at all the way

3:57 sick and then got yelled at all the way

3:57 sick and then got yelled at all the way home for embarrassing somebody and

3:59 home for embarrassing somebody and

3:59 home for embarrassing somebody and ruining the party they planned for me so

4:01 ruining the party they planned for me so

4:01 ruining the party they planned for me so like I just I have not been into it I

4:04 like I just I have not been into it I

4:04 like I just I have not been into it I let Ally throw me a few little shindigs

4:06 let Ally throw me a few little shindigs

4:06 let Ally throw me a few little shindigs with maybe 10 people Max in the last

4:09 with maybe 10 people Max in the last

4:09 with maybe 10 people Max in the last couple of years for which I was grateful

4:11 couple of years for which I was grateful

4:11 couple of years for which I was grateful and it was nice nice to have a few

4:12 and it was nice nice to have a few

4:12 and it was nice nice to have a few select friends that you know are gonna

4:14 select friends that you know are gonna

4:14 select friends that you know are gonna show up and you know are gonna be nice

4:15 show up and you know are gonna be nice

4:15 show up and you know are gonna be nice and and all that kind of stuff and this

4:17 and and all that kind of stuff and this

4:17 and and all that kind of stuff and this is all for context by the way it's not

4:19 is all for context by the way it's not

4:19 is all for context by the way it's not stuff that I cry about late at night to

4:21 stuff that I cry about late at night to

4:21 stuff that I cry about late at night to myself every night I've gotten over this

4:23 myself every night I've gotten over this

4:23 myself every night I've gotten over this years ago at least I think I have

4:26 years ago at least I think I have

4:26 years ago at least I think I have basically for contexts sake that's why

4:30 basically for contexts sake that's why

4:30 basically for contexts sake that's why I've just not been comfortable with

4:32 I've just not been comfortable with

4:33 I've just not been comfortable with having birthdays didn't want to plan any

4:35 having birthdays didn't want to plan any

4:35 having birthdays didn't want to plan any birthdays or anything like that in

4:38 birthdays or anything like that in

4:38 birthdays or anything like that in recent years just didn't didn't feel

4:39 recent years just didn't didn't feel

4:39 recent years just didn't didn't feel like it so you can understand why I was

4:41 like it so you can understand why I was

4:41 like it so you can understand why I was a little nervous about all this going

4:42 a little nervous about all this going

4:42 a little nervous about all this going down I was like oh you know no one's

4:44 down I was like oh you know no one's

4:44 down I was like oh you know no one's gonna show up or if people do show up

4:45 gonna show up or if people do show up

4:45 gonna show up or if people do show up they're gonna have a bad time everyone's

4:47 they're gonna have a bad time everyone's

4:47 they're gonna have a bad time everyone's gonna be staring at each other and leave

4:48 gonna be staring at each other and leave

4:48 gonna be staring at each other and leave early anyway whatever emotional damage

4:51 early anyway whatever emotional damage

4:51 early anyway whatever emotional damage that I had from previous birthdays all

4:54 that I had from previous birthdays all

4:54 that I had from previous birthdays all of that has been erased by this past

4:57 of that has been erased by this past

4:57 of that has been erased by this past weeks birthday party Ali got all those

5:00 weeks birthday party Ali got all those

5:00 weeks birthday party Ali got all those people together and I don't know what I

5:02 people together and I don't know what I

5:02 people together and I don't know what I was expecting there were so many faces I

5:04 was expecting there were so many faces I

5:04 was expecting there were so many faces I didn't expect to show up there were so

5:05 didn't expect to show up there were so

5:05 didn't expect to show up there were so many I don't know I don't know not not

5:07 many I don't know I don't know not not

5:07 many I don't know I don't know not not as an insult to them it's just because

5:08 as an insult to them it's just because

5:08 as an insult to them it's just because I'm like oh you know as if I'm not that

5:10 I'm like oh you know as if I'm not that

5:10 I'm like oh you know as if I'm not that important No One's Gonna and all these

5:12 important No One's Gonna and all these

5:12 important No One's Gonna and all these people came they were all getting along

5:14 people came they were all getting along

5:14 people came they were all getting along all the people from different walks of

5:15 all the people from different walks of

5:15 all the people from different walks of life like sort of excited to meet each

5:17 life like sort of excited to meet each

5:17 life like sort of excited to meet each other and and telling stories and weird

5:19 other and and telling stories and weird

5:19 other and and telling stories and weird stuff now I discovered something about

5:21 stuff now I discovered something about

5:21 stuff now I discovered something about myself which is that I definitely still

5:23 myself which is that I definitely still

5:23 myself which is that I definitely still have social anxiety like you think you

5:25 have social anxiety like you think you

5:25 have social anxiety like you think you kind of outgrow it you're like oh yeah

5:26 kind of outgrow it you're like oh yeah

5:26 kind of outgrow it you're like oh yeah you know I don't I don't really suffer

5:28 you know I don't I don't really suffer

5:28 you know I don't I don't really suffer from that so much anymore turns out no

5:29 from that so much anymore turns out no

5:29 from that so much anymore turns out no I've just gotten better at managing my

5:31 I've just gotten better at managing my

5:31 I've just gotten better at managing my life and constructing my life in such a

5:33 life and constructing my life in such a

5:33 life and constructing my life in such a way that I don't normally have to deal

5:34 way that I don't normally have to deal

5:34 way that I don't normally have to deal with so many people that I get that kind

5:37 with so many people that I get that kind

5:37 with so many people that I get that kind of social anxiety so that was a little

5:39 of social anxiety so that was a little

5:39 of social anxiety so that was a little bit of a factor there I felt really

5:40 bit of a factor there I felt really

5:40 bit of a factor there I felt really uncomfortable and awkward especially

5:42 uncomfortable and awkward especially

5:42 uncomfortable and awkward especially being the center of attention like that

5:44 being the center of attention like that

5:44 being the center of attention like that I know that's ironic because I can get

5:45 I know that's ironic because I can get

5:45 I know that's ironic because I can get on a stage with a guitar in front of a

5:47 on a stage with a guitar in front of a

5:47 on a stage with a guitar in front of a thousand people it would be fine but if

5:49 thousand people it would be fine but if

5:49 thousand people it would be fine but if you're in a room with 50 people and they

5:51 you're in a room with 50 people and they

5:51 you're in a room with 50 people and they all know you and they're all looking at

5:52 all know you and they're all looking at

5:52 all know you and they're all looking at you and talking to you so it's a little

5:53 you and talking to you so it's a little

5:53 you and talking to you so it's a little over stimulating you know I'm more of a

5:55 over stimulating you know I'm more of a

5:55 over stimulating you know I'm more of a one-on-one maybe five on five 10 on 10

5:57 one-on-one maybe five on five 10 on 10

5:57 one-on-one maybe five on five 10 on 10 type of person Max so I felt a little

6:00 type of person Max so I felt a little

6:00 type of person Max so I felt a little bit uncomfortable but that was no shade

6:02 bit uncomfortable but that was no shade

6:02 bit uncomfortable but that was no shade on the party it was incredible I was so

6:05 on the party it was incredible I was so

6:05 on the party it was incredible I was so touched and so

6:06 touched and so

6:06 touched and so honored by

6:08 honored by

6:08 honored by the people who came out that gave a

6:10 the people who came out that gave a

6:10 the people who came out that gave a little time and all that I was not

6:11 little time and all that I was not

6:11 little time and all that I was not expecting it and not only did people

6:13 expecting it and not only did people

6:13 expecting it and not only did people come out and give me their time and

6:15 come out and give me their time and

6:15 come out and give me their time and everything I was already getting

6:16 everything I was already getting

6:16 everything I was already getting emotional getting choked up in fact I

6:17 emotional getting choked up in fact I

6:17 emotional getting choked up in fact I was so uncomfortable that when they uh

6:19 was so uncomfortable that when they uh

6:19 was so uncomfortable that when they uh and like overwhelmed and overstimulated

6:21 and like overwhelmed and overstimulated

6:21 and like overwhelmed and overstimulated that when they were gonna sing Happy

6:22 that when they were gonna sing Happy

6:22 that when they were gonna sing Happy Birthday to me I had one of my Halloween

6:25 Birthday to me I had one of my Halloween

6:25 Birthday to me I had one of my Halloween masks in my own face which I just pulled

6:27 masks in my own face which I just pulled

6:27 masks in my own face which I just pulled down and wore just said I felt less like

6:29 down and wore just said I felt less like

6:29 down and wore just said I felt less like everyone was staring at me and you know

6:31 everyone was staring at me and you know

6:31 everyone was staring at me and you know like thanks guys well out the candles so

6:34 like thanks guys well out the candles so

6:34 like thanks guys well out the candles so I was just so honored just by just by

6:36 I was just so honored just by just by

6:36 I was just so honored just by just by people showing up and then what really

6:39 people showing up and then what really

6:39 people showing up and then what really knocked me out was and I could not

6:40 knocked me out was and I could not

6:40 knocked me out was and I could not believe it did not expect it like I said

6:42 believe it did not expect it like I said

6:42 believe it did not expect it like I said I haven't had a big birthday party in a

6:43 I haven't had a big birthday party in a

6:43 I haven't had a big birthday party in a long time and you get to an age where

6:45 long time and you get to an age where

6:45 long time and you get to an age where this doesn't happen anymore but a bunch

6:48 this doesn't happen anymore but a bunch

6:48 this doesn't happen anymore but a bunch of people brought me birthday presents

6:50 of people brought me birthday presents

6:50 of people brought me birthday presents even like I opened presents and I swear

6:52 even like I opened presents and I swear

6:52 even like I opened presents and I swear to you even though I've had lots of

6:53 to you even though I've had lots of

6:53 to you even though I've had lots of birthdays and a lot of birthdays since

6:55 birthdays and a lot of birthdays since

6:55 birthdays and a lot of birthdays since all I could do was flash back to being

6:57 all I could do was flash back to being

6:57 all I could do was flash back to being like 10 or 11 or whatever that horrible

6:59 like 10 or 11 or whatever that horrible

6:59 like 10 or 11 or whatever that horrible birthday party was and sitting there

7:01 birthday party was and sitting there

7:01 birthday party was and sitting there watching my brother open all those

7:02 watching my brother open all those

7:02 watching my brother open all those presents and here I was like opening

7:04 presents and here I was like opening

7:04 presents and here I was like opening presents like all these people came and

7:06 presents like all these people came and

7:06 presents like all these people came and brought presents for me for me I was

7:08 brought presents for me for me I was

7:08 brought presents for me for me I was having such a um I'm still having a hard

7:11 having such a um I'm still having a hard

7:11 having such a um I'm still having a hard time I was having such a hard time like

7:13 time I was having such a hard time like

7:13 time I was having such a hard time like not choking up or anything so I mostly

7:15 not choking up or anything so I mostly

7:15 not choking up or anything so I mostly put them all you know it's like oh you

7:16 put them all you know it's like oh you

7:16 put them all you know it's like oh you put them over there and didn't open them

7:18 put them over there and didn't open them

7:18 put them over there and didn't open them but just like when I would walk by them

7:19 but just like when I would walk by them

7:19 but just like when I would walk by them I would get this lump in my throat and

7:20 I would get this lump in my throat and

7:21 I would get this lump in my throat and someone's like you need to open your

7:22 someone's like you need to open your

7:22 someone's like you need to open your presents for everyone I was like I

7:23 presents for everyone I was like I

7:23 presents for everyone I was like I couldn't I couldn't do it speaking of

7:25 couldn't I couldn't do it speaking of

7:25 couldn't I couldn't do it speaking of presence you want to talk presents my

7:26 presence you want to talk presents my

7:26 presence you want to talk presents my buddy Spike from Spike's Breezeway

7:28 buddy Spike from Spike's Breezeway

7:28 buddy Spike from Spike's Breezeway cocktail hour on YouTube and the band

7:30 cocktail hour on YouTube and the band

7:30 cocktail hour on YouTube and the band the hula girls showed up and was like

7:32 the hula girls showed up and was like

7:32 the hula girls showed up and was like making oh that's cool look at that

7:33 making oh that's cool look at that

7:33 making oh that's cool look at that making Tiki cocktails and stuff for

7:36 making Tiki cocktails and stuff for

7:36 making Tiki cocktails and stuff for people he actually sliced his hand open

7:38 people he actually sliced his hand open

7:38 people he actually sliced his hand open with a knife that morning like doing the

7:41 with a knife that morning like doing the

7:41 with a knife that morning like doing the prep work and stuff cutting like fruit

7:43 prep work and stuff cutting like fruit

7:43 prep work and stuff cutting like fruit or whatever he was doing and spent the

7:45 or whatever he was doing and spent the

7:45 or whatever he was doing and spent the whole day with his in the whole night

7:46 whole day with his in the whole night

7:46 whole day with his in the whole night with this bandage bloody bleeding hand

7:49 with this bandage bloody bleeding hand

7:49 with this bandage bloody bleeding hand of wound

7:50 of wound

7:50 of wound still making the drinks and I'm like are

7:52 still making the drinks and I'm like are

7:52 still making the drinks and I'm like are you sure you don't want to go to the

7:53 you sure you don't want to go to the

7:53 you sure you don't want to go to the hospital she's like hey you know like

7:57 hospital she's like hey you know like

7:57 hospital she's like hey you know like I'm gonna get super emotional so I gotta

7:58 I'm gonna get super emotional so I gotta

7:58 I'm gonna get super emotional so I gotta be careful but like some like just

8:00 be careful but like some like just

8:00 be careful but like some like just everybody have these little things like

8:02 everybody have these little things like

8:02 everybody have these little things like that that meant so much to me I meant so

8:04 that that meant so much to me I meant so

8:04 that that meant so much to me I meant so much for me that they were all there and

8:06 much for me that they were all there and

8:06 much for me that they were all there and like I said I just issued uh tried to

8:08 like I said I just issued uh tried to

8:08 like I said I just issued uh tried to avoid opening the presents and just kept

8:11 avoid opening the presents and just kept

8:11 avoid opening the presents and just kept that until later but Spike had been

8:13 that until later but Spike had been

8:13 that until later but Spike had been mixing those Tiki drinks and then by the

8:14 mixing those Tiki drinks and then by the

8:14 mixing those Tiki drinks and then by the end of the night everybody had like one

8:15 end of the night everybody had like one

8:15 end of the night everybody had like one or two I don't really rarely ever do I

8:18 or two I don't really rarely ever do I

8:18 or two I don't really rarely ever do I have a adult beverage should I have like

8:20 have a adult beverage should I have like

8:20 have a adult beverage should I have like one or two and people started started

8:21 one or two and people started started

8:21 one or two and people started started dwindling off well you know we gotta go

8:23 dwindling off well you know we gotta go

8:23 dwindling off well you know we gotta go and all that kind of stuff and thank you

8:24 and all that kind of stuff and thank you

8:24 and all that kind of stuff and thank you for coming giving lots of hugs and stuff

8:26 for coming giving lots of hugs and stuff

8:26 for coming giving lots of hugs and stuff like that I really wish I had got to

8:28 like that I really wish I had got to

8:28 like that I really wish I had got to spend more time with people individually

8:29 spend more time with people individually

8:30 spend more time with people individually but with that many people and they're

8:31 but with that many people and they're

8:31 but with that many people and they're all like wishing me happy birthday at

8:32 all like wishing me happy birthday at

8:32 all like wishing me happy birthday at least I got to spend a few minutes

8:33 least I got to spend a few minutes

8:33 least I got to spend a few minutes seeing everybody and at least I got to

8:35 seeing everybody and at least I got to

8:35 seeing everybody and at least I got to walk around and see them all talking to

8:36 walk around and see them all talking to

8:36 walk around and see them all talking to each other which was really cool and

8:38 each other which was really cool and

8:38 each other which was really cool and meant a lot to me that my friends were

8:40 meant a lot to me that my friends were

8:40 meant a lot to me that my friends were making friends and stuff like that hey

8:41 making friends and stuff like that hey

8:41 making friends and stuff like that hey I've been looking for that glasses case

8:43 I've been looking for that glasses case

8:43 I've been looking for that glasses case oh a Disney toothbrush I'm gonna need

8:45 oh a Disney toothbrush I'm gonna need

8:45 oh a Disney toothbrush I'm gonna need that my dentist just retired help me

8:48 that my dentist just retired help me

8:48 that my dentist just retired help me dentists anyway we eventually got to a

8:51 dentists anyway we eventually got to a

8:51 dentists anyway we eventually got to a part of the night where things had

8:53 part of the night where things had

8:53 part of the night where things had dwindled down enough and there were a

8:54 dwindled down enough and there were a

8:54 dwindled down enough and there were a few enough people there that

8:56 few enough people there that

8:56 few enough people there that the friends who were last really started

8:58 the friends who were last really started

8:58 the friends who were last really started to be like come on please just open a

9:00 to be like come on please just open a

9:00 to be like come on please just open a present open a present Ally really

9:01 present open a present Ally really

9:01 present open a present Ally really wanted me to open some present that she

9:04 wanted me to open some present that she

9:04 wanted me to open some present that she was like oh I've been working on this

9:05 was like oh I've been working on this

9:05 was like oh I've been working on this big present for you and I got together

9:07 big present for you and I got together

9:07 big present for you and I got together with people to do this present for you

9:08 with people to do this present for you

9:08 with people to do this present for you and I I knew she really wanted me let me

9:10 and I I knew she really wanted me let me

9:10 and I I knew she really wanted me let me open at home no you gotta open it here

9:12 open at home no you gotta open it here

9:12 open at home no you gotta open it here and there were there were few enough

9:14 and there were there were few enough

9:14 and there were there were few enough people by that point I was like okay I'm

9:16 people by that point I was like okay I'm

9:16 people by that point I was like okay I'm gonna go and open the presents and if I

9:18 gonna go and open the presents and if I

9:18 gonna go and open the presents and if I thought that I had been like

9:21 thought that I had been like

9:21 thought that I had been like emotional or like touched or or

9:25 emotional or like touched or or

9:25 emotional or like touched or or I don't know overwhelmed before the

9:27 I don't know overwhelmed before the

9:27 I don't know overwhelmed before the present that I unwrapped

9:31 present that I unwrapped

9:31 present that I unwrapped bowled me over like just knock in fact

9:34 bowled me over like just knock in fact

9:34 bowled me over like just knock in fact let's go we should probably go check it

9:35 let's go we should probably go check it

9:35 let's go we should probably go check it out for years and years here huh in

9:40 out for years and years here huh in

9:40 out for years and years here huh in random land about a private Facebook

9:42 random land about a private Facebook

9:42 random land about a private Facebook group for friends of the show as I like

9:44 group for friends of the show as I like

9:44 group for friends of the show as I like to put it it's not everyone's cup of tea

9:45 to put it it's not everyone's cup of tea

9:45 to put it it's not everyone's cup of tea because it's pretty heavily moderated to

9:47 because it's pretty heavily moderated to

9:47 because it's pretty heavily moderated to stay family friendly and spam free and

9:49 stay family friendly and spam free and

9:49 stay family friendly and spam free and all that we have this Facebook group

9:51 all that we have this Facebook group

9:51 all that we have this Facebook group named after the sometimes Vlog and they

9:53 named after the sometimes Vlog and they

9:53 named after the sometimes Vlog and they named it themselves called the sometimes

9:55 named it themselves called the sometimes

9:55 named it themselves called the sometimes mob sorry for the mess in here we really

9:57 mob sorry for the mess in here we really

9:57 mob sorry for the mess in here we really have not had a chance to do any spring

9:59 have not had a chance to do any spring

9:59 have not had a chance to do any spring cleaning I've been running around all

10:01 cleaning I've been running around all

10:01 cleaning I've been running around all over and then the birthday stuff and the

10:02 over and then the birthday stuff and the

10:02 over and then the birthday stuff and the trips and everything so just ignore the

10:05 trips and everything so just ignore the

10:05 trips and everything so just ignore the mass pardon pardon the disaster around

10:08 mass pardon pardon the disaster around

10:08 mass pardon pardon the disaster around here please anyway Ali got together with

10:11 here please anyway Ali got together with

10:11 here please anyway Ali got together with the sometimes mob group and apparently

10:14 the sometimes mob group and apparently

10:14 the sometimes mob group and apparently all of these wonderful incredible people

10:17 all of these wonderful incredible people

10:17 all of these wonderful incredible people who all have their names in this card

10:20 who all have their names in this card

10:20 who all have their names in this card all of these people got together

10:24 all of these people got together

10:24 all of these people got together uh pooled their resources and bought me

10:28 uh pooled their resources and bought me

10:28 uh pooled their resources and bought me this present that I unwrapped and I

10:30 this present that I unwrapped and I

10:30 this present that I unwrapped and I swear to you my brain just I went to

10:32 swear to you my brain just I went to

10:32 swear to you my brain just I went to another Universe when I saw what this

10:35 another Universe when I saw what this

10:35 another Universe when I saw what this was when I opened it I could not I could

10:38 was when I opened it I could not I could

10:38 was when I opened it I could not I could not believe this I unwrapped

10:41 not believe this I unwrapped

10:41 not believe this I unwrapped this

10:42 this

10:42 this this is a signed letter

10:46 this is a signed letter

10:46 this is a signed letter that Mark Twain wrote in 1886 November

10:50 that Mark Twain wrote in 1886 November

10:50 that Mark Twain wrote in 1886 November 4th 1886 to be precise from the Murray

10:53 4th 1886 to be precise from the Murray

10:53 4th 1886 to be precise from the Murray Hill Hotel a place he often stayed right

10:55 Hill Hotel a place he often stayed right

10:55 Hill Hotel a place he often stayed right near where Grand Central is today in

10:57 near where Grand Central is today in

10:57 near where Grand Central is today in Manhattan to a Miss Samuel complying

10:59 Manhattan to a Miss Samuel complying

10:59 Manhattan to a Miss Samuel complying with her request for a signed photograph

11:01 with her request for a signed photograph

11:01 with her request for a signed photograph and he sent her this letter and right

11:03 and he sent her this letter and right

11:03 and he sent her this letter and right there at the bottom look at that John

11:05 there at the bottom look at that John

11:05 there at the bottom look at that John Hancock

11:06 Hancock

11:06 Hancock s l

11:08 s l

11:08 s l Clemens

11:10 Clemens

11:10 Clemens I still um hold on now obviously this is

11:13 I still um hold on now obviously this is

11:13 I still um hold on now obviously this is literally the coolest thing I've ever

11:15 literally the coolest thing I've ever

11:15 literally the coolest thing I've ever been given this is the coolest thing I

11:17 been given this is the coolest thing I

11:17 been given this is the coolest thing I have ever owned you guys already know

11:19 have ever owned you guys already know

11:19 have ever owned you guys already know from some of the adventures that we've

11:20 from some of the adventures that we've

11:20 from some of the adventures that we've been on that I'm a huge Mark Twain fan

11:22 been on that I'm a huge Mark Twain fan

11:22 been on that I'm a huge Mark Twain fan but if you look around my house you're

11:23 but if you look around my house you're

11:23 but if you look around my house you're gonna see Mark Twain Mark Twain Mark

11:25 gonna see Mark Twain Mark Twain Mark

11:25 gonna see Mark Twain Mark Twain Mark Twain Mark Twain could be wrong but I I

11:28 Twain Mark Twain could be wrong but I I

11:28 Twain Mark Twain could be wrong but I I think there's a few Mark Twain books on

11:30 think there's a few Mark Twain books on

11:30 think there's a few Mark Twain books on this shelf as well Mark Twain that's

11:32 this shelf as well Mark Twain that's

11:32 this shelf as well Mark Twain that's that's not even all that's the sad part

11:34 that's not even all that's the sad part

11:34 that's not even all that's the sad part over inside my office which is also a

11:36 over inside my office which is also a

11:36 over inside my office which is also a huge mess to Bunker the lair over here

11:38 huge mess to Bunker the lair over here

11:38 huge mess to Bunker the lair over here behind these bowls that Bob gurr gave me

11:41 behind these bowls that Bob gurr gave me

11:41 behind these bowls that Bob gurr gave me Mark Twain's letters look at all those

11:43 Mark Twain's letters look at all those

11:43 Mark Twain's letters look at all those volumes back there this is where you're

11:45 volumes back there this is where you're

11:45 volumes back there this is where you're gonna have to indulge me in a little

11:46 gonna have to indulge me in a little

11:46 gonna have to indulge me in a little more Story Time sorry for the length of

11:48 more Story Time sorry for the length of

11:48 more Story Time sorry for the length of all this I didn't have time to build it

11:49 all this I didn't have time to build it

11:49 all this I didn't have time to build it to scale or to paint it this is sort of

11:51 to scale or to paint it this is sort of

11:51 to scale or to paint it this is sort of off the cuff obviously Mark Twain's

11:53 off the cuff obviously Mark Twain's

11:53 off the cuff obviously Mark Twain's books and his history have been a

11:55 books and his history have been a

11:55 books and his history have been a passion of mine for years and years and

11:56 passion of mine for years and years and

11:56 passion of mine for years and years and years and I bought these volumes here

11:59 years and I bought these volumes here

11:59 years and I bought these volumes here under incredibly uh I don't know skint

12:03 under incredibly uh I don't know skint

12:03 under incredibly uh I don't know skint circumstances let's put it that way now

12:05 circumstances let's put it that way now

12:05 circumstances let's put it that way now I have a health issue it's uh it's

12:07 I have a health issue it's uh it's

12:07 I have a health issue it's uh it's called celiac disease and it's basically

12:10 called celiac disease and it's basically

12:10 called celiac disease and it's basically where where a certain protein in gluten

12:13 where where a certain protein in gluten

12:13 where where a certain protein in gluten so byproduct of basically wheat comes in

12:15 so byproduct of basically wheat comes in

12:15 so byproduct of basically wheat comes in autoimmune trigger not the only trigger

12:17 autoimmune trigger not the only trigger

12:18 autoimmune trigger not the only trigger but the main primary trigger for

12:19 but the main primary trigger for

12:19 but the main primary trigger for basically your body destroying itself on

12:23 basically your body destroying itself on

12:23 basically your body destroying itself on the inside particularly like in your

12:24 the inside particularly like in your

12:24 the inside particularly like in your intestines your stomach all that kind of

12:26 intestines your stomach all that kind of

12:26 intestines your stomach all that kind of stuff and all because of One Bad Doctor

12:29 stuff and all because of One Bad Doctor

12:29 stuff and all because of One Bad Doctor it remained undiagnosed for years so

12:32 it remained undiagnosed for years so

12:32 it remained undiagnosed for years so they told me I didn't have it and that I

12:34 they told me I didn't have it and that I

12:34 they told me I didn't have it and that I just should not avoid eating gluten that

12:36 just should not avoid eating gluten that

12:36 just should not avoid eating gluten that was just a fad all this kind of stuff

12:38 was just a fad all this kind of stuff

12:38 was just a fad all this kind of stuff and especially in my sort of late 20s

12:41 and especially in my sort of late 20s

12:41 and especially in my sort of late 20s mid to late 20s it got so horrible I'm

12:44 mid to late 20s it got so horrible I'm

12:44 mid to late 20s it got so horrible I'm like bleeding out of everywhere I'm

12:46 like bleeding out of everywhere I'm

12:46 like bleeding out of everywhere I'm anemic they can't figure out what's

12:47 anemic they can't figure out what's

12:47 anemic they can't figure out what's going on I'm like totally losing weight

12:50 going on I'm like totally losing weight

12:50 going on I'm like totally losing weight I'm very sick all the time everything I

12:52 I'm very sick all the time everything I

12:52 I'm very sick all the time everything I eat makes me horribly sick I can't leave

12:53 eat makes me horribly sick I can't leave

12:53 eat makes me horribly sick I can't leave the house unless I know where every

12:54 the house unless I know where every

12:54 the house unless I know where every bathroom is along the way or unless I

12:56 bathroom is along the way or unless I

12:56 bathroom is along the way or unless I don't eat for two days it's a horrible

12:58 don't eat for two days it's a horrible

12:58 don't eat for two days it's a horrible horrible situation that you can I mean

13:00 horrible situation that you can I mean

13:00 horrible situation that you can I mean some of you is friends with Celiac or

13:02 some of you is friends with Celiac or

13:02 some of you is friends with Celiac or loved ones have highly sensitive celiac

13:04 loved ones have highly sensitive celiac

13:04 loved ones have highly sensitive celiac disease or very Advanced celiac disease

13:06 disease or very Advanced celiac disease

13:06 disease or very Advanced celiac disease will know what I'm talking about and it

13:08 will know what I'm talking about and it

13:08 will know what I'm talking about and it was awful I I genuinely thought I was

13:11 was awful I I genuinely thought I was

13:11 was awful I I genuinely thought I was going to die and it wasn't in fact until

13:13 going to die and it wasn't in fact until

13:13 going to die and it wasn't in fact until I talked to a neighbor of mine over the

13:14 I talked to a neighbor of mine over the

13:14 I talked to a neighbor of mine over the fence the Wilson style about how like

13:17 fence the Wilson style about how like

13:17 fence the Wilson style about how like dude I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die like

13:19 dude I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die like

13:19 dude I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die like I don't know what I'm gonna do you know

13:20 I don't know what I'm gonna do you know

13:20 I don't know what I'm gonna do you know I've got a child I've got a life and I

13:22 I've got a child I've got a life and I

13:22 I've got a child I've got a life and I think I'm pretty sure this is going to

13:24 think I'm pretty sure this is going to

13:24 think I'm pretty sure this is going to kill me and he was like you investigated

13:26 kill me and he was like you investigated

13:26 kill me and he was like you investigated celiac disease because he had celiac

13:28 celiac disease because he had celiac

13:28 celiac disease because he had celiac disease and he goes that's exactly how I

13:30 disease and he goes that's exactly how I

13:30 disease and he goes that's exactly how I felt and stuff and it wasn't until after

13:32 felt and stuff and it wasn't until after

13:32 felt and stuff and it wasn't until after that I switched doctors went through

13:34 that I switched doctors went through

13:34 that I switched doctors went through medical records anyway this is a long

13:35 medical records anyway this is a long

13:35 medical records anyway this is a long story but I basically found the original

13:37 story but I basically found the original

13:37 story but I basically found the original doctor had sent me to a GI doctor and

13:39 doctor had sent me to a GI doctor and

13:39 doctor had sent me to a GI doctor and they've done all the scans and Scopes

13:41 they've done all the scans and Scopes

13:41 they've done all the scans and Scopes and stick all the cameras through your

13:42 and stick all the cameras through your

13:42 and stick all the cameras through your body and stuff like that and they had

13:43 body and stuff like that and they had

13:43 body and stuff like that and they had found I had celiac disease seven years

13:46 found I had celiac disease seven years

13:46 found I had celiac disease seven years beforehand and never told me anyway it's

13:50 beforehand and never told me anyway it's

13:50 beforehand and never told me anyway it's a little exasperating but the tldr on

13:52 a little exasperating but the tldr on

13:52 a little exasperating but the tldr on that is for years I was just getting

13:54 that is for years I was just getting

13:54 that is for years I was just getting sicker and sicker I was doing some

13:55 sicker and sicker I was doing some

13:55 sicker and sicker I was doing some graphic design work at home I was trying

13:57 graphic design work at home I was trying

13:57 graphic design work at home I was trying to still play shows with the band I was

13:59 to still play shows with the band I was

13:59 to still play shows with the band I was never a rich guy that was never a

14:00 never a rich guy that was never a

14:00 never a rich guy that was never a profitable scene to begin with you can

14:02 profitable scene to begin with you can

14:02 profitable scene to begin with you can imagine I was out of work for years it's

14:04 imagine I was out of work for years it's

14:04 imagine I was out of work for years it's basically a stay-at-home dad with my kid

14:06 basically a stay-at-home dad with my kid

14:06 basically a stay-at-home dad with my kid and just ill and sick and in chronic

14:09 and just ill and sick and in chronic

14:09 and just ill and sick and in chronic chronic horrible pain all the time and

14:11 chronic horrible pain all the time and

14:11 chronic horrible pain all the time and my one luxury the one thing I mean there

14:13 my one luxury the one thing I mean there

14:13 my one luxury the one thing I mean there were even moments literally

14:15 were even moments literally

14:15 were even moments literally where I would crack up in ramen Ramen

14:18 where I would crack up in ramen Ramen

14:18 where I would crack up in ramen Ramen which was plenty of pure gluten it's

14:20 which was plenty of pure gluten it's

14:20 which was plenty of pure gluten it's like the worst thing for you I was

14:22 like the worst thing for you I was

14:22 like the worst thing for you I was cracking Ramen like in half and halfs

14:23 cracking Ramen like in half and halfs

14:23 cracking Ramen like in half and halfs again so I would only be eating a little

14:25 again so I would only be eating a little

14:25 again so I would only be eating a little food so I made sure the rest of my

14:27 food so I made sure the rest of my

14:27 food so I made sure the rest of my family was eating and all that kind of

14:28 family was eating and all that kind of

14:28 family was eating and all that kind of stuff uh but the one luxury that I had

14:31 stuff uh but the one luxury that I had

14:31 stuff uh but the one luxury that I had when I was living in Long Beach for a

14:32 when I was living in Long Beach for a

14:32 when I was living in Long Beach for a while or in Orange county is that we had

14:34 while or in Orange county is that we had

14:34 while or in Orange county is that we had really good used bookstores Acres of

14:36 really good used bookstores Acres of

14:36 really good used bookstores Acres of books in Long Beach we had the book

14:38 books in Long Beach we had the book

14:38 books in Long Beach we had the book Baron in Anaheim and I would go and

14:41 Baron in Anaheim and I would go and

14:41 Baron in Anaheim and I would go and crawl through the used bookstores and

14:43 crawl through the used bookstores and

14:43 crawl through the used bookstores and get paperback books Mark Twain read all

14:45 get paperback books Mark Twain read all

14:45 get paperback books Mark Twain read all the literature read all the classics the

14:46 the literature read all the classics the

14:46 the literature read all the classics the only thing I could do at home and I got

14:49 only thing I could do at home and I got

14:49 only thing I could do at home and I got really into like the biographies of Mark

14:51 really into like the biographies of Mark

14:51 really into like the biographies of Mark Twain I got really into the history and

14:53 Twain I got really into the history and

14:53 Twain I got really into the history and reading books about the history of

14:54 reading books about the history of

14:54 reading books about the history of things that he kind of was tangentially

14:56 things that he kind of was tangentially

14:56 things that he kind of was tangentially related to it got really nerdy about uh

14:59 related to it got really nerdy about uh

14:59 related to it got really nerdy about uh Mark Twain and in the very early days

15:02 Mark Twain and in the very early days

15:02 Mark Twain and in the very early days the early days of sort of Amazon

15:04 the early days of sort of Amazon

15:04 the early days of sort of Amazon allowing people to sell their used books

15:07 allowing people to sell their used books

15:07 allowing people to sell their used books and then like Thrift Books and what are

15:10 and then like Thrift Books and what are

15:10 and then like Thrift Books and what are the other ones like Abe books and all

15:11 the other ones like Abe books and all

15:11 the other ones like Abe books and all that stuff you could find some pretty

15:14 that stuff you could find some pretty

15:14 that stuff you could find some pretty expensive and rare books folks that

15:16 expensive and rare books folks that

15:16 expensive and rare books folks that people would throw up for like a couple

15:17 people would throw up for like a couple

15:17 people would throw up for like a couple bucks or win libraries would start to

15:19 bucks or win libraries would start to

15:19 bucks or win libraries would start to discard books you could get books for

15:21 discard books you could get books for

15:21 discard books you could get books for like 50 cents or a dollar or something

15:23 like 50 cents or a dollar or something

15:23 like 50 cents or a dollar or something like that plus like a dollar fifty

15:25 like that plus like a dollar fifty

15:25 like that plus like a dollar fifty shipping because the Media Mail well

15:27 shipping because the Media Mail well

15:27 shipping because the Media Mail well while I was reading Mark Twain's books

15:30 while I was reading Mark Twain's books

15:30 while I was reading Mark Twain's books and biographies about him they would

15:31 and biographies about him they would

15:31 and biographies about him they would reference a lot of his letters that were

15:34 reference a lot of his letters that were

15:34 reference a lot of his letters that were in the Bancroft papers at Berkeley and

15:36 in the Bancroft papers at Berkeley and

15:36 in the Bancroft papers at Berkeley and all this stuff and I knew that they had

15:39 all this stuff and I knew that they had

15:39 all this stuff and I knew that they had published these volumes of Mark Twain's

15:41 published these volumes of Mark Twain's

15:41 published these volumes of Mark Twain's letter several of them not the not

15:43 letter several of them not the not

15:43 letter several of them not the not complete they never completed it but

15:44 complete they never completed it but

15:44 complete they never completed it but brand new these things were uh these

15:47 brand new these things were uh these

15:47 brand new these things were uh these were pretty hefty price I mean for me

15:48 were pretty hefty price I mean for me

15:48 were pretty hefty price I mean for me they might as well have been a fortune

15:50 they might as well have been a fortune

15:50 they might as well have been a fortune they might as well cost a million

15:51 they might as well cost a million

15:51 they might as well cost a million dollars I can't remember 80 bucks or

15:53 dollars I can't remember 80 bucks or

15:54 dollars I can't remember 80 bucks or something like that and some of the ones

15:55 something like that and some of the ones

15:55 something like that and some of the ones that were out of print like the volume

15:56 that were out of print like the volume

15:56 that were out of print like the volume one and two and stuff like that were

15:58 one and two and stuff like that were

15:58 one and two and stuff like that were commanding like two and three hundred

16:00 commanding like two and three hundred

16:00 commanding like two and three hundred dollars sometimes like on Amazon or on

16:02 dollars sometimes like on Amazon or on

16:02 dollars sometimes like on Amazon or on eBay or different places but I

16:04 eBay or different places but I

16:04 eBay or different places but I discovered some of those websites where

16:06 discovered some of those websites where

16:06 discovered some of those websites where Library discards were happening and I

16:08 Library discards were happening and I

16:08 Library discards were happening and I would go check them every single day and

16:11 would go check them every single day and

16:11 would go check them every single day and finally one by one I managed to find

16:14 finally one by one I managed to find

16:14 finally one by one I managed to find these books books one by one like I said

16:16 these books books one by one like I said

16:16 these books books one by one like I said discarded from the library and sold for

16:19 discarded from the library and sold for

16:19 discarded from the library and sold for like a buck two bucks I think I did a

16:22 like a buck two bucks I think I did a

16:22 like a buck two bucks I think I did a graphic design job for somebody one time

16:24 graphic design job for somebody one time

16:24 graphic design job for somebody one time and got like I carved out 30 bucks of my

16:27 and got like I carved out 30 bucks of my

16:27 and got like I carved out 30 bucks of my fee to buy and that was the most I ever

16:29 fee to buy and that was the most I ever

16:29 fee to buy and that was the most I ever spent on one of the volumes I can't

16:31 spent on one of the volumes I can't

16:31 spent on one of the volumes I can't remember if that was two or three or

16:32 remember if that was two or three or

16:32 remember if that was two or three or something like that and I bought these

16:34 something like that and I bought these

16:34 something like that and I bought these books of Mark Twain's letters and

16:37 books of Mark Twain's letters and

16:37 books of Mark Twain's letters and there's so so many letters lots of

16:39 there's so so many letters lots of

16:39 there's so so many letters lots of footnotes lots of historical context in

16:42 footnotes lots of historical context in

16:42 footnotes lots of historical context in here and I just nerded out on these I

16:43 here and I just nerded out on these I

16:43 here and I just nerded out on these I mean this one's like well over 400 Pages

16:45 mean this one's like well over 400 Pages

16:45 mean this one's like well over 400 Pages here they've got some of the look at

16:47 here they've got some of the look at

16:47 here they've got some of the look at that they got some of the facsimiles

16:48 that they got some of the facsimiles

16:48 that they got some of the facsimiles pictures of the actual letters and the

16:50 pictures of the actual letters and the

16:50 pictures of the actual letters and the handwriting and so these to me were just

16:51 handwriting and so these to me were just

16:51 handwriting and so these to me were just like comfort in my illness like another

16:53 like comfort in my illness like another

16:53 like comfort in my illness like another project to get into history getting all

16:55 project to get into history getting all

16:55 project to get into history getting all nerdy about reading this stuff and uh

16:58 nerdy about reading this stuff and uh

16:58 nerdy about reading this stuff and uh and I just I don't know I felt close I

17:00 and I just I don't know I felt close I

17:00 and I just I don't know I felt close I fell close to the guy I felt like I

17:01 fell close to the guy I felt like I

17:01 fell close to the guy I felt like I understood him you know what I mean that

17:03 understood him you know what I mean that

17:03 understood him you know what I mean that kind of a thing so things got better

17:04 kind of a thing so things got better

17:04 kind of a thing so things got better from the very darkest years you know not

17:07 from the very darkest years you know not

17:07 from the very darkest years you know not my health or anything like that but my

17:08 my health or anything like that but my

17:09 my health or anything like that but my ex got a better job and we moved to a

17:10 ex got a better job and we moved to a

17:10 ex got a better job and we moved to a better house in Brea and I had uh you

17:14 better house in Brea and I had uh you

17:14 better house in Brea and I had uh you know started to do more with my band

17:15 know started to do more with my band

17:15 know started to do more with my band again and get that kind of rolling game

17:17 again and get that kind of rolling game

17:17 again and get that kind of rolling game I was trying trying to make things

17:18 I was trying trying to make things

17:18 I was trying trying to make things better

17:19 better

17:19 better sorry I wasn't doing a lot more graphic

17:21 sorry I wasn't doing a lot more graphic

17:21 sorry I wasn't doing a lot more graphic design jobs I'd gone back to school and

17:23 design jobs I'd gone back to school and

17:23 design jobs I'd gone back to school and all this stuff and um

17:26 all this stuff and um

17:26 all this stuff and um but so I would look at eBay like late at

17:29 but so I would look at eBay like late at

17:29 but so I would look at eBay like late at night it was still but it's still hard

17:30 night it was still but it's still hard

17:30 night it was still but it's still hard you know still sick and still all that

17:31 you know still sick and still all that

17:31 you know still sick and still all that kind of stuff I wasn't really living my

17:32 kind of stuff I wasn't really living my

17:32 kind of stuff I wasn't really living my dreams I wasn't out touring and stuff

17:34 dreams I wasn't out touring and stuff

17:34 dreams I wasn't out touring and stuff anymore so so ill and uh already things

17:37 anymore so so ill and uh already things

17:37 anymore so so ill and uh already things in that relationship were not going good

17:39 in that relationship were not going good

17:39 in that relationship were not going good and uh the band was only a few years

17:42 and uh the band was only a few years

17:42 and uh the band was only a few years from coming apart and stuff and I could

17:44 from coming apart and stuff and I could

17:44 from coming apart and stuff and I could just remember

17:45 just remember

17:45 just remember going on eBay and because of these

17:48 going on eBay and because of these

17:48 going on eBay and because of these letters right they're not the full thing

17:49 letters right they're not the full thing

17:49 letters right they're not the full thing Mark Twain's estimated to have written

17:51 Mark Twain's estimated to have written

17:51 Mark Twain's estimated to have written some crazy number hundreds of thousands

17:53 some crazy number hundreds of thousands

17:53 some crazy number hundreds of thousands of pieces of papers hundreds of

17:54 of pieces of papers hundreds of

17:54 of pieces of papers hundreds of thousands of letters and I would go on

17:56 thousands of letters and I would go on

17:56 thousands of letters and I would go on eBay and there were all these other

17:58 eBay and there were all these other

17:58 eBay and there were all these other letters that were in private hands of

17:59 letters that were in private hands of

17:59 letters that were in private hands of you know someone's grandkids had and

18:01 you know someone's grandkids had and

18:01 you know someone's grandkids had and sold in an attic or whatever found an

18:03 sold in an attic or whatever found an

18:03 sold in an attic or whatever found an attic and sold or whatever and I'd find

18:05 attic and sold or whatever and I'd find

18:05 attic and sold or whatever and I'd find all these letters on eBay I'd go on eBay

18:07 all these letters on eBay I'd go on eBay

18:07 all these letters on eBay I'd go on eBay and like look at the images just to read

18:08 and like look at the images just to read

18:08 and like look at the images just to read these additional letters that weren't in

18:10 these additional letters that weren't in

18:10 these additional letters that weren't in these books and

18:12 these books and

18:12 these books and I mean in the grand scheme of things

18:13 I mean in the grand scheme of things

18:13 I mean in the grand scheme of things they don't cost what a George Washington

18:15 they don't cost what a George Washington

18:15 they don't cost what a George Washington or an Abe Lincoln letter cost they're a

18:17 or an Abe Lincoln letter cost they're a

18:17 or an Abe Lincoln letter cost they're a couple thousand dollars as opposed to

18:19 couple thousand dollars as opposed to

18:19 couple thousand dollars as opposed to you know five figures or whatever like

18:21 you know five figures or whatever like

18:21 you know five figures or whatever like that but still anything four figures

18:23 that but still anything four figures

18:24 that but still anything four figures might as well have been a billion

18:25 might as well have been a billion

18:25 might as well have been a billion dollars to me there's no way I could

18:26 dollars to me there's no way I could

18:26 dollars to me there's no way I could ever afford them but I remember I just

18:28 ever afford them but I remember I just

18:28 ever afford them but I remember I just used to dream like man that would be the

18:30 used to dream like man that would be the

18:30 used to dream like man that would be the ultimate

18:32 ultimate

18:32 ultimate bucket list coolest thing ever would be

18:34 bucket list coolest thing ever would be

18:34 bucket list coolest thing ever would be to own something that the guy that wrote

18:36 to own something that the guy that wrote

18:36 to own something that the guy that wrote the Innocence abroad or Huckleberry Finn

18:38 the Innocence abroad or Huckleberry Finn

18:38 the Innocence abroad or Huckleberry Finn wrote with his own hand like wouldn't

18:40 wrote with his own hand like wouldn't

18:40 wrote with his own hand like wouldn't that be so cool just to have something

18:42 that be so cool just to have something

18:42 that be so cool just to have something Mark Twain signed

18:44 Mark Twain signed

18:44 Mark Twain signed and I would just dream of that be like

18:47 and I would just dream of that be like

18:47 and I would just dream of that be like wow wouldn't that be cool like that

18:48 wow wouldn't that be cool like that

18:48 wow wouldn't that be cool like that would be the way other people will look

18:49 would be the way other people will look

18:49 would be the way other people will look at someone with a Ferrari or a mansion

18:51 at someone with a Ferrari or a mansion

18:51 at someone with a Ferrari or a mansion or a Rolex or whatever else they want in

18:54 or a Rolex or whatever else they want in

18:54 or a Rolex or whatever else they want in the world or someone traveling to Japan

18:56 the world or someone traveling to Japan

18:56 the world or someone traveling to Japan or the moon or whatever I would just

18:57 or the moon or whatever I would just

18:57 or the moon or whatever I would just look at that and go wouldn't that be

18:59 look at that and go wouldn't that be

18:59 look at that and go wouldn't that be like the ultimate coolest thing in the

19:02 like the ultimate coolest thing in the

19:02 like the ultimate coolest thing in the world and I never thought in a million

19:04 world and I never thought in a million

19:04 world and I never thought in a million now I'm gonna get emotional again I

19:06 now I'm gonna get emotional again I

19:06 now I'm gonna get emotional again I never thought in a million billion years

19:08 never thought in a million billion years

19:08 never thought in a million billion years I would ever have anything like that and

19:09 I would ever have anything like that and

19:09 I would ever have anything like that and even it's like

19:11 even it's like

19:11 even it's like my life's improved you know we've been

19:13 my life's improved you know we've been

19:13 my life's improved you know we've been doing random land for all these years

19:14 doing random land for all these years

19:14 doing random land for all these years and I have a wonderful partner celiac

19:16 and I have a wonderful partner celiac

19:16 and I have a wonderful partner celiac disease was diagnosed and I've been on

19:17 disease was diagnosed and I've been on

19:17 disease was diagnosed and I've been on the gluten-free diet and healing for 10

19:20 the gluten-free diet and healing for 10

19:20 the gluten-free diet and healing for 10 years now and all that kind of stuff

19:22 years now and all that kind of stuff

19:22 years now and all that kind of stuff even in my moments where I did have a

19:25 even in my moments where I did have a

19:25 even in my moments where I did have a little extra or this or that all right

19:26 little extra or this or that all right

19:26 little extra or this or that all right sold a bunch of signs you know even if

19:28 sold a bunch of signs you know even if

19:28 sold a bunch of signs you know even if before I when I sold a bunch of those

19:30 before I when I sold a bunch of those

19:30 before I when I sold a bunch of those wooden signs for a split second there

19:32 wooden signs for a split second there

19:32 wooden signs for a split second there before all the medical bills started

19:34 before all the medical bills started

19:34 before all the medical bills started coming in and I bought the van I almost

19:37 coming in and I bought the van I almost

19:37 coming in and I bought the van I almost didn't buy the van because I was like

19:38 didn't buy the van because I was like

19:38 didn't buy the van because I was like well maybe one of those letters like no

19:40 well maybe one of those letters like no

19:40 well maybe one of those letters like no I can't do that I gotta buy something

19:41 I can't do that I gotta buy something

19:41 I can't do that I gotta buy something for the show I can't be selfish like

19:43 for the show I can't be selfish like

19:43 for the show I can't be selfish like that and I've even looked at them and

19:45 that and I've even looked at them and

19:45 that and I've even looked at them and like for a while they were doing like

19:46 like for a while they were doing like

19:46 like for a while they were doing like payment plans on some of the sites that

19:49 payment plans on some of the sites that

19:49 payment plans on some of the sites that sold historic documents out look at them

19:50 sold historic documents out look at them

19:50 sold historic documents out look at them and go like

19:52 and go like

19:52 and go like do like a payment plan over a really

19:54 do like a payment plan over a really

19:54 do like a payment plan over a really long period of time and own one of the

19:56 long period of time and own one of the

19:56 long period of time and own one of the cheap ones you know and stuff and I

19:58 cheap ones you know and stuff and I

19:58 cheap ones you know and stuff and I always thought nah like I don't deserve

20:01 always thought nah like I don't deserve

20:01 always thought nah like I don't deserve to have that I got to go out and work I

20:02 to have that I got to go out and work I

20:02 to have that I got to go out and work I have bills to pay I got a family to feed

20:04 have bills to pay I got a family to feed

20:04 have bills to pay I got a family to feed I've got literally a family to feed rent

20:06 I've got literally a family to feed rent

20:06 I've got literally a family to feed rent to pay and bills to pay and now a lot of

20:09 to pay and bills to pay and now a lot of

20:09 to pay and bills to pay and now a lot of medical bills and debts and things I'm

20:11 medical bills and debts and things I'm

20:11 medical bills and debts and things I'm like it's irresponsible I can't do that

20:12 like it's irresponsible I can't do that

20:12 like it's irresponsible I can't do that and so even now even now which is the

20:15 and so even now even now which is the

20:15 and so even now even now which is the the the happiest and best off I've ever

20:17 the the happiest and best off I've ever

20:17 the the happiest and best off I've ever been in my whole life it's not perfect

20:19 been in my whole life it's not perfect

20:19 been in my whole life it's not perfect but I'm not complaining because believe

20:20 but I'm not complaining because believe

20:20 but I'm not complaining because believe me I've been in some Dark hell-holish

20:22 me I've been in some Dark hell-holish

20:22 me I've been in some Dark hell-holish Places some nights in my life out on

20:24 Places some nights in my life out on

20:24 Places some nights in my life out on tour especially

20:26 tour especially

20:26 tour especially um even now it's like you know I'll

20:28 um even now it's like you know I'll

20:28 um even now it's like you know I'll probably never own I remember telling

20:29 probably never own I remember telling

20:29 probably never own I remember telling Ali earlier this year she must have been

20:31 Ali earlier this year she must have been

20:31 Ali earlier this year she must have been listening I have never owned one of

20:33 listening I have never owned one of

20:33 listening I have never owned one of those but I still like to look I still

20:34 those but I still like to look I still

20:34 those but I still like to look I still followed a bunch on eBay I'll go read

20:36 followed a bunch on eBay I'll go read

20:36 followed a bunch on eBay I'll go read them for the nerd purposes all the time

20:39 them for the nerd purposes all the time

20:39 them for the nerd purposes all the time I was like that would be kind of the

20:40 I was like that would be kind of the

20:40 I was like that would be kind of the cool coolest most ultimate thing

20:43 cool coolest most ultimate thing

20:43 cool coolest most ultimate thing so when I

20:44 so when I

20:44 so when I well let's go look at it again so when I

20:46 well let's go look at it again so when I

20:46 well let's go look at it again so when I unwrap this

20:48 unwrap this

20:48 unwrap this I I can't even tell you like what was

20:52 I I can't even tell you like what was

20:52 I I can't even tell you like what was going through my head it was all that it

20:53 going through my head it was all that it

20:53 going through my head it was all that it was like these weird flashbacks like a

20:55 was like these weird flashbacks like a

20:55 was like these weird flashbacks like a movie for like years of

20:57 movie for like years of

20:57 movie for like years of almost like Despair and thinking like I

21:00 almost like Despair and thinking like I

21:00 almost like Despair and thinking like I have no future I'm gonna die literally

21:02 have no future I'm gonna die literally

21:02 have no future I'm gonna die literally thinking I'm I'm gonna die I don't know

21:04 thinking I'm I'm gonna die I don't know

21:04 thinking I'm I'm gonna die I don't know what I'm gonna do I have no food I have

21:06 what I'm gonna do I have no food I have

21:06 what I'm gonna do I have no food I have no money I'm sick and I'm just like

21:09 no money I'm sick and I'm just like

21:09 no money I'm sick and I'm just like fantasy trying to just this little

21:10 fantasy trying to just this little

21:10 fantasy trying to just this little escapism fantasy like wouldn't that be

21:12 escapism fantasy like wouldn't that be

21:12 escapism fantasy like wouldn't that be cool and looking at these letters and

21:14 cool and looking at these letters and

21:14 cool and looking at these letters and looking at this stuff I like all that

21:17 looking at this stuff I like all that

21:17 looking at this stuff I like all that flash like that part of my life just

21:19 flash like that part of my life just

21:19 flash like that part of my life just flashed before my eyes I haven't thought

21:20 flashed before my eyes I haven't thought

21:20 flashed before my eyes I haven't thought about this stuff in 10 years you know

21:22 about this stuff in 10 years you know

21:22 about this stuff in 10 years you know and uh

21:24 and uh

21:24 and uh after that party I had like a pretty

21:27 after that party I had like a pretty

21:27 after that party I had like a pretty gnarly headache for a couple days I was

21:28 gnarly headache for a couple days I was

21:28 gnarly headache for a couple days I was like I think I was sick I got kind of

21:30 like I think I was sick I got kind of

21:30 like I think I was sick I got kind of gluten a little bit afterwards I was

21:32 gluten a little bit afterwards I was

21:32 gluten a little bit afterwards I was eating something that was kind of risky

21:34 eating something that was kind of risky

21:34 eating something that was kind of risky and

21:35 and

21:35 and um I was sick for a couple days really

21:38 um I was sick for a couple days really

21:38 um I was sick for a couple days really gnarly migraine too at the same time it

21:40 gnarly migraine too at the same time it

21:40 gnarly migraine too at the same time it only happens to me a few times a year

21:42 only happens to me a few times a year

21:42 only happens to me a few times a year but I was like what are those light

21:43 but I was like what are those light

21:43 but I was like what are those light sensitive ones I'm like laying in the

21:44 sensitive ones I'm like laying in the

21:44 sensitive ones I'm like laying in the dark in my other room

21:46 dark in my other room

21:46 dark in my other room and even with the migraine with a

21:47 and even with the migraine with a

21:47 and even with the migraine with a headache and everything I would just put

21:49 headache and everything I would just put

21:49 headache and everything I would just put this in the room and just I have been

21:51 this in the room and just I have been

21:51 this in the room and just I have been looking at this for like two or three

21:53 looking at this for like two or three

21:53 looking at this for like two or three days and I cannot stop

21:55 days and I cannot stop

21:55 days and I cannot stop I held it in that night like I held it

21:58 I held it in that night like I held it

21:58 I held it in that night like I held it in pretty good I think I had candidates

21:59 in pretty good I think I had candidates

21:59 in pretty good I think I had candidates other people like look look how cool

22:00 other people like look look how cool

22:00 other people like look look how cool this is and I tried to ignore it then

22:02 this is and I tried to ignore it then

22:02 this is and I tried to ignore it then later I opened some other presents and

22:04 later I opened some other presents and

22:04 later I opened some other presents and stuff from those people which is also

22:05 stuff from those people which is also

22:05 stuff from those people which is also really overwhelming like David from

22:07 really overwhelming like David from

22:07 really overwhelming like David from fresh Bank gave me a cool book about

22:08 fresh Bank gave me a cool book about

22:08 fresh Bank gave me a cool book about Samurai Peter and Kittrell ordinary

22:10 Samurai Peter and Kittrell ordinary

22:10 Samurai Peter and Kittrell ordinary Adventures gave me a school E.T on a

22:12 Adventures gave me a school E.T on a

22:12 Adventures gave me a school E.T on a bike uh action figure and some other

22:14 bike uh action figure and some other

22:14 bike uh action figure and some other friends gave me some cool stuffs like I

22:15 friends gave me some cool stuffs like I

22:15 friends gave me some cool stuffs like I even got toys I even got the toys I

22:17 even got toys I even got the toys I

22:17 even got toys I even got the toys I never got when I was 11. and I was

22:19 never got when I was 11. and I was

22:19 never got when I was 11. and I was having all these thoughts to myself you

22:20 having all these thoughts to myself you

22:20 having all these thoughts to myself you know it just

22:22 know it just

22:22 know it just but I was keeping it all in and being

22:24 but I was keeping it all in and being

22:24 but I was keeping it all in and being cool and trying to be funny and laughing

22:26 cool and trying to be funny and laughing

22:26 cool and trying to be funny and laughing off unless hug and let's hang out and

22:28 off unless hug and let's hang out and

22:28 off unless hug and let's hang out and the next morning I woke up I'm not gonna

22:30 the next morning I woke up I'm not gonna

22:30 the next morning I woke up I'm not gonna lie to you and it's not you're not any

22:32 lie to you and it's not you're not any

22:32 lie to you and it's not you're not any less manly for admitting this but I woke

22:34 less manly for admitting this but I woke

22:34 less manly for admitting this but I woke up the next morning I was just so

22:35 up the next morning I was just so

22:35 up the next morning I was just so emotional like leftover emotions I I

22:37 emotional like leftover emotions I I

22:37 emotional like leftover emotions I I like woke up kind of sobbing a little

22:39 like woke up kind of sobbing a little

22:39 like woke up kind of sobbing a little bit for like 30 minutes like I couldn't

22:41 bit for like 30 minutes like I couldn't

22:41 bit for like 30 minutes like I couldn't help it I was like emotional like happy

22:44 help it I was like emotional like happy

22:44 help it I was like emotional like happy emotional like uh you know the birth of

22:47 emotional like uh you know the birth of

22:47 emotional like uh you know the birth of a child kind of emotional or something

22:48 a child kind of emotional or something

22:48 a child kind of emotional or something it's like something that deep inside of

22:50 it's like something that deep inside of

22:50 it's like something that deep inside of me that I didn't know was broken or been

22:52 me that I didn't know was broken or been

22:52 me that I didn't know was broken or been like sort of healed or something and it

22:54 like sort of healed or something and it

22:54 like sort of healed or something and it was like therapeutic or something like

22:56 was like therapeutic or something like

22:56 was like therapeutic or something like released the crime

22:59 released the crime

22:59 released the crime and uh it's not just that this was like

23:02 and uh it's not just that this was like

23:02 and uh it's not just that this was like such an awesome present it's the it's

23:04 such an awesome present it's the it's

23:04 such an awesome present it's the it's this so not all that that I mentioned

23:08 this so not all that that I mentioned

23:08 this so not all that that I mentioned but then this like looking at this

23:15 I know she only reached out to a few

23:15 I know she only reached out to a few people as soon as they like got all

23:16 people as soon as they like got all

23:16 people as soon as they like got all their resources together she closed it

23:18 their resources together she closed it

23:18 their resources together she closed it off and so most people didn't even know

23:20 off and so most people didn't even know

23:20 off and so most people didn't even know about anything but just the fact that

23:21 about anything but just the fact that

23:21 about anything but just the fact that that many people

23:28 oh those existing's coming in handy

23:28 oh those existing's coming in handy back at that many people

23:30 back at that many people

23:30 back at that many people I'll show you their name so you don't

23:31 I'll show you their name so you don't

23:31 I'll show you their name so you don't have to look at my face right now the

23:33 have to look at my face right now the

23:33 have to look at my face right now the fact that that many people

23:35 fact that that many people

23:35 fact that that many people David darn

23:38 David darn

23:38 David darn at all I cared enough to even do

23:40 at all I cared enough to even do

23:40 at all I cared enough to even do anything

23:45 and then what it was and everything and

23:45 and then what it was and everything and then Ally like kind of just remember

23:46 then Ally like kind of just remember

23:46 then Ally like kind of just remember just thinking like man that girl really

23:48 just thinking like man that girl really

23:48 just thinking like man that girl really loves me like

23:49 loves me like

23:49 loves me like living you live

23:52 living you live

23:52 living you live do me a favor if you're young enough and

23:54 do me a favor if you're young enough and

23:54 do me a favor if you're young enough and you haven't been married or you haven't

23:55 you haven't been married or you haven't

23:55 you haven't been married or you haven't been in a lot of relationships or you're

23:56 been in a lot of relationships or you're

23:56 been in a lot of relationships or you're dating or whatever make sure you never

23:58 dating or whatever make sure you never

23:58 dating or whatever make sure you never get married to move in with or do

24:00 get married to move in with or do

24:00 get married to move in with or do anything like that with somebody that

24:03 anything like that with somebody that

24:03 anything like that with somebody that you're not a hundred percent sure really

24:06 you're not a hundred percent sure really

24:06 you're not a hundred percent sure really likes you if you can learn anything from

24:08 likes you if you can learn anything from

24:08 likes you if you can learn anything from the mistakes that I've made it doesn't

24:10 the mistakes that I've made it doesn't

24:10 the mistakes that I've made it doesn't matter how much you love a person it

24:12 matter how much you love a person it

24:12 matter how much you love a person it doesn't matter how much you're willing

24:13 doesn't matter how much you're willing

24:13 doesn't matter how much you're willing to give it doesn't matter how many

24:16 to give it doesn't matter how many

24:16 to give it doesn't matter how many emotions you're willing to put in this

24:17 emotions you're willing to put in this

24:17 emotions you're willing to put in this if the person just the core is just like

24:19 if the person just the core is just like

24:19 if the person just the core is just like and not sure about you is it convinced

24:22 and not sure about you is it convinced

24:22 and not sure about you is it convinced don't spend your life chasing after

24:25 don't spend your life chasing after

24:25 don't spend your life chasing after someone who's eventually going to be

24:26 someone who's eventually going to be

24:26 someone who's eventually going to be like you know I never really I didn't

24:28 like you know I never really I didn't

24:28 like you know I never really I didn't want this I didn't like you in the first

24:30 want this I didn't like you in the first

24:30 want this I didn't like you in the first place

24:31 place

24:31 place and just to know that somebody like

24:32 and just to know that somebody like

24:32 and just to know that somebody like likes you cares about you all that kind

24:34 likes you cares about you all that kind

24:34 likes you cares about you all that kind of stuff I mean that means everything in

24:36 of stuff I mean that means everything in

24:36 of stuff I mean that means everything in the whole world just to see my family

24:37 the whole world just to see my family

24:37 the whole world just to see my family there and my kid they got to spend time

24:39 there and my kid they got to spend time

24:39 there and my kid they got to spend time with my son right before that and all

24:40 with my son right before that and all

24:40 with my son right before that and all that and then just to help this

24:41 that and then just to help this

24:41 that and then just to help this wonderful girl

24:44 wonderful girl

24:44 wonderful girl they're like the luckiest person in the

24:45 they're like the luckiest person in the

24:45 they're like the luckiest person in the universe and I've gone from like the

24:46 universe and I've gone from like the

24:46 universe and I've gone from like the unluckiest person in the universe

24:47 unluckiest person in the universe

24:48 unluckiest person in the universe sometimes and I never blamed other

24:49 sometimes and I never blamed other

24:49 sometimes and I never blamed other people I never let I've never been the

24:51 people I never let I've never been the

24:51 people I never let I've never been the kind of personality that blamed other

24:52 kind of personality that blamed other

24:52 kind of personality that blamed other people

24:53 people

24:53 people oh it's the kind of personal that blames

24:55 oh it's the kind of personal that blames

24:55 oh it's the kind of personal that blames myself to a fault to where like I would

24:57 myself to a fault to where like I would

24:57 myself to a fault to where like I would get super depressed I've been you know

24:59 get super depressed I've been you know

24:59 get super depressed I've been you know go to therapy for crazy depression

25:01 go to therapy for crazy depression

25:01 go to therapy for crazy depression they're like you need to stop blaming

25:02 they're like you need to stop blaming

25:02 they're like you need to stop blaming yourself for everything

25:04 yourself for everything

25:04 yourself for everything um

25:04 um

25:04 um so I never like was bitter and angry at

25:06 so I never like was bitter and angry at

25:06 so I never like was bitter and angry at the world it was more bitter and angry

25:08 the world it was more bitter and angry

25:08 the world it was more bitter and angry at myself like oh man I made bad choices

25:10 at myself like oh man I made bad choices

25:10 at myself like oh man I made bad choices here I am sick and dying I probably

25:11 here I am sick and dying I probably

25:11 here I am sick and dying I probably deserve it and all that kind of stuff

25:13 deserve it and all that kind of stuff

25:13 deserve it and all that kind of stuff and so I kind of that's my direction of

25:15 and so I kind of that's my direction of

25:15 and so I kind of that's my direction of not you know being smart instead of

25:17 not you know being smart instead of

25:17 not you know being smart instead of being mad at everybody else I tend to do

25:18 being mad at everybody else I tend to do

25:18 being mad at everybody else I tend to do the opposite and get mad at myself and

25:21 the opposite and get mad at myself and

25:21 the opposite and get mad at myself and um

25:22 um and that took a while for the Quest for

25:24 and that took a while for the Quest for

25:24 and that took a while for the Quest for positivity and trying to like be

25:25 positivity and trying to like be

25:25 positivity and trying to like be positive thing I can't control the

25:27 positive thing I can't control the

25:27 positive thing I can't control the circumstances and to start admitting

25:28 circumstances and to start admitting

25:28 circumstances and to start admitting like well this sucks and I didn't do

25:30 like well this sucks and I didn't do

25:30 like well this sucks and I didn't do this to myself but I'm the only one that

25:32 this to myself but I'm the only one that

25:32 this to myself but I'm the only one that can control it or change it or make it

25:34 can control it or change it or make it

25:34 can control it or change it or make it better right and all that kind of stuff

25:35 better right and all that kind of stuff

25:35 better right and all that kind of stuff that didn't really improve my life it's

25:36 that didn't really improve my life it's

25:36 that didn't really improve my life it's a whole Sidetrack see I'm very

25:38 a whole Sidetrack see I'm very

25:38 a whole Sidetrack see I'm very distracted right now

25:40 distracted right now

25:40 distracted right now just like caused all these like deep

25:41 just like caused all these like deep

25:41 just like caused all these like deep thoughts to swirl around in me to get

25:43 thoughts to swirl around in me to get

25:43 thoughts to swirl around in me to get all philosophical and everything the

25:45 all philosophical and everything the

25:45 all philosophical and everything the last couple days and I it just knocked

25:46 last couple days and I it just knocked

25:46 last couple days and I it just knocked me over so I haven't been out doing well

25:48 me over so I haven't been out doing well

25:48 me over so I haven't been out doing well other than the migraine that's why I

25:49 other than the migraine that's why I

25:49 other than the migraine that's why I haven't been out and I haven't even

25:51 haven't been out and I haven't even

25:51 haven't been out and I haven't even recovered my footing yet to get back to

25:52 recovered my footing yet to get back to

25:52 recovered my footing yet to get back to filming get back to you guys because

25:54 filming get back to you guys because

25:54 filming get back to you guys because I've just been

25:55 I've just been

25:55 I've just been tripping for days

25:58 tripping for days

25:58 tripping for days and uh okay there we go I feel less

26:01 and uh okay there we go I feel less

26:01 and uh okay there we go I feel less emotional

26:02 emotional

26:02 emotional and um just this

26:09 I don't deserve this you know

26:09 I don't deserve this you know and so I um

26:12 and so I um

26:12 and so I um or anything like this

26:14 or anything like this

26:14 or anything like this or or anything that I've got or anything

26:17 or or anything that I've got or anything

26:17 or or anything that I've got or anything that I have or been able to do like to

26:19 that I have or been able to do like to

26:19 that I have or been able to do like to do and people have been sending me such

26:21 do and people have been sending me such

26:21 do and people have been sending me such nice messages for my birthday all of you

26:23 nice messages for my birthday all of you

26:23 nice messages for my birthday all of you guys and nice comments and birthday

26:25 guys and nice comments and birthday

26:25 guys and nice comments and birthday cards in the mail and stuff and I just

26:28 cards in the mail and stuff and I just

26:28 cards in the mail and stuff and I just I tend to ignore good comments and bad

26:29 I tend to ignore good comments and bad

26:30 I tend to ignore good comments and bad comments

26:30 comments

26:30 comments you know just move on with your life if

26:32 you know just move on with your life if

26:32 you know just move on with your life if you're willing to believe all the good

26:34 you're willing to believe all the good

26:34 you're willing to believe all the good things people say about you and inflate

26:35 things people say about you and inflate

26:35 things people say about you and inflate your head then all the bad things are

26:37 your head then all the bad things are

26:37 your head then all the bad things are going to get to you too so just you know

26:38 going to get to you too so just you know

26:38 going to get to you too so just you know moving on try to go I gotta use great

26:40 moving on try to go I gotta use great

26:40 moving on try to go I gotta use great video so thank you

26:44 um but to have so many people tell me

26:44 um but to have so many people tell me that like

26:45 that like

26:45 that like whatever this thing is has like meant a

26:47 whatever this thing is has like meant a

26:48 whatever this thing is has like meant a lot to them or done anything for them in

26:49 lot to them or done anything for them in

26:49 lot to them or done anything for them in their life and to see that like it meant

26:51 their life and to see that like it meant

26:51 their life and to see that like it meant enough for them to

26:52 enough for them to

26:52 enough for them to to send a card or to do this it's like

26:55 to send a card or to do this it's like

26:55 to send a card or to do this it's like really overwhelming for me and um this

26:59 really overwhelming for me and um this

26:59 really overwhelming for me and um this means more than like

27:02 means more than like

27:02 means more than like the play button did or the or the

27:04 the play button did or the or the

27:04 the play button did or the or the different things that have happened

27:06 different things that have happened

27:06 different things that have happened throughout the years

27:08 throughout the years

27:08 throughout the years the fact that so many people like

27:09 the fact that so many people like

27:09 the fact that so many people like support the whole project and request

27:11 support the whole project and request

27:11 support the whole project and request for positivity and the random land

27:13 for positivity and the random land

27:13 for positivity and the random land videos and the adventure do something

27:14 videos and the adventure do something

27:14 videos and the adventure do something family friendly and trying to be

27:16 family friendly and trying to be

27:16 family friendly and trying to be positive and I'm not a perfect person by

27:17 positive and I'm not a perfect person by

27:17 positive and I'm not a perfect person by any means I've screwed up a lot in my

27:19 any means I've screwed up a lot in my

27:19 any means I've screwed up a lot in my life and I continue to screw up it's

27:21 life and I continue to screw up it's

27:21 life and I continue to screw up it's it's because I was such a Negative

27:23 it's because I was such a Negative

27:23 it's because I was such a Negative cynical person and bitter and bitter at

27:25 cynical person and bitter and bitter at

27:25 cynical person and bitter and bitter at myself and and uh I'm cynical that I

27:29 myself and and uh I'm cynical that I

27:29 myself and and uh I'm cynical that I that I'm on the Quest for positivity I'm

27:31 that I'm on the Quest for positivity I'm

27:31 that I'm on the Quest for positivity I'm always trying to do better and be better

27:33 always trying to do better and be better

27:33 always trying to do better and be better and I always thought maybe if I shared

27:35 and I always thought maybe if I shared

27:35 and I always thought maybe if I shared that maybe somebody out there would

27:36 that maybe somebody out there would

27:36 that maybe somebody out there would connect with it and understand and all

27:38 connect with it and understand and all

27:38 connect with it and understand and all that stuff so to like get it back like

27:40 that stuff so to like get it back like

27:40 that stuff so to like get it back like that

27:48 really

27:48 really means more to me than you guys will ever

27:50 means more to me than you guys will ever

27:50 means more to me than you guys will ever know so to all the people who have

27:53 know so to all the people who have

27:53 know so to all the people who have you know gone on to uh join the Facebook

27:57 you know gone on to uh join the Facebook

27:57 you know gone on to uh join the Facebook group or subscribed or

27:59 group or subscribed or

28:00 group or subscribed or um left nice comments over the years on

28:01 um left nice comments over the years on

28:01 um left nice comments over the years on Instagram or

28:03 Instagram or

28:03 Instagram or um sent these birthday cards or join

28:05 um sent these birthday cards or join

28:05 um sent these birthday cards or join patreon or

28:08 patreon or

28:08 patreon or did this

28:13 and I wanted to read all the names but

28:13 and I wanted to read all the names but now I know I'll never get through that I

28:14 now I know I'll never get through that I

28:14 now I know I'll never get through that I wanted to sit here and read all these

28:15 wanted to sit here and read all these

28:15 wanted to sit here and read all these names off of thank you all individually

28:17 names off of thank you all individually

28:17 names off of thank you all individually there's no way there's no way I can do

28:20 there's no way there's no way I can do

28:20 there's no way there's no way I can do it's funny Ali used to do this all the

28:21 it's funny Ali used to do this all the

28:21 it's funny Ali used to do this all the time if she got emotional she'd like

28:23 time if she got emotional she'd like

28:23 time if she got emotional she'd like finds something good fan herself why is

28:25 finds something good fan herself why is

28:25 finds something good fan herself why is she doing that and it's like oh it's

28:26 she doing that and it's like oh it's

28:26 she doing that and it's like oh it's getting hot in here that's how I get it

28:29 getting hot in here that's how I get it

28:29 getting hot in here that's how I get it there's no way I'll make it through all

28:30 there's no way I'll make it through all

28:30 there's no way I'll make it through all these names

28:32 these names

28:32 these names and this is like a dumb video right this

28:34 and this is like a dumb video right this

28:34 and this is like a dumb video right this is not a this is not a hundred thousand

28:36 is not a this is not a hundred thousand

28:36 is not a this is not a hundred thousand view cool new action-packed land opening

28:39 view cool new action-packed land opening

28:39 view cool new action-packed land opening up in a theme park or or an awesome

28:41 up in a theme park or or an awesome

28:41 up in a theme park or or an awesome Route 66 road trip video or whatever

28:45 Route 66 road trip video or whatever

28:45 Route 66 road trip video or whatever but I knew I couldn't do anything else I

28:47 but I knew I couldn't do anything else I

28:47 but I knew I couldn't do anything else I knew he couldn't do anything else and by

28:48 knew he couldn't do anything else and by

28:48 knew he couldn't do anything else and by the way I'm starting work on like a 10th

28:51 the way I'm starting work on like a 10th

28:51 the way I'm starting work on like a 10th anniversary video this is the 10th

28:52 anniversary video this is the 10th

28:52 anniversary video this is the 10th anniversary of random land is about to

28:53 anniversary of random land is about to

28:53 anniversary of random land is about to happen so it's almost randomly's

28:54 happen so it's almost randomly's

28:54 happen so it's almost randomly's birthday

28:55 birthday

28:55 birthday I knew I just couldn't even start

28:57 I knew I just couldn't even start

28:57 I knew I just couldn't even start working on that stuff until I until I

29:04 tried to find a way very ineloquently

29:04 tried to find a way very ineloquently and inarticulately to

29:08 and inarticulately to

29:08 and inarticulately to express some part of my my my deep

29:12 express some part of my my my deep

29:12 express some part of my my my deep dang it my deep gratitude

29:22 I don't get like this usually usually

29:22 I don't get like this usually usually usually if I like turn the camera I'm

29:24 usually if I like turn the camera I'm

29:24 usually if I like turn the camera I'm like well all right we're there we're

29:26 like well all right we're there we're

29:26 like well all right we're there we're positive we're pumped usually I say my

29:27 positive we're pumped usually I say my

29:27 positive we're pumped usually I say my emotions for the private times but

29:29 emotions for the private times but

29:29 emotions for the private times but whatever let it stay in I don't care if

29:32 whatever let it stay in I don't care if

29:32 whatever let it stay in I don't care if it's embarrassing yes I'm a big cry baby

29:34 it's embarrassing yes I'm a big cry baby

29:34 it's embarrassing yes I'm a big cry baby I'm a big old 40 year old cry baby let

29:39 I'm a big old 40 year old cry baby let

29:39 I'm a big old 40 year old cry baby let it stay in whatever

29:41 it stay in whatever

29:41 it stay in whatever I just really appreciate it I really

29:43 I just really appreciate it I really

29:43 I just really appreciate it I really appreciate it all I cannot tell you guys

29:45 appreciate it all I cannot tell you guys

29:45 appreciate it all I cannot tell you guys how much I've appreciated 10 years of

29:48 how much I've appreciated 10 years of

29:48 how much I've appreciated 10 years of people leaving comments and supporting

29:52 people leaving comments and supporting

29:52 people leaving comments and supporting and believing in the dream and the

29:55 and believing in the dream and the

29:55 and believing in the dream and the project and all that kind of stuff and

29:56 project and all that kind of stuff and

29:56 project and all that kind of stuff and of course things have evolved and

29:58 of course things have evolved and

29:58 of course things have evolved and changed lots of other people are kind of

29:59 changed lots of other people are kind of

29:59 changed lots of other people are kind of in the mix doing the same stuff as us

30:01 in the mix doing the same stuff as us

30:01 in the mix doing the same stuff as us and and uh and it's just the whole

30:04 and and uh and it's just the whole

30:04 and and uh and it's just the whole landscape has changed right it's become

30:06 landscape has changed right it's become

30:06 landscape has changed right it's become so much more common but back then really

30:08 so much more common but back then really

30:08 so much more common but back then really it was nothing you didn't start this

30:10 it was nothing you didn't start this

30:10 it was nothing you didn't start this type of thing too you could never get

30:12 type of thing too you could never get

30:12 type of thing too you could never get rich or famous or or not even to a very

30:15 rich or famous or or not even to a very

30:15 rich or famous or or not even to a very small scale you couldn't do anything

30:17 small scale you couldn't do anything

30:17 small scale you couldn't do anything like this everyone was like what are you

30:18 like this everyone was like what are you

30:18 like this everyone was like what are you doing you're a loser you're filming

30:20 doing you're a loser you're filming

30:20 doing you're a loser you're filming yourself and putting it on the internet

30:21 yourself and putting it on the internet

30:21 yourself and putting it on the internet you're going to theme parks what the

30:22 you're going to theme parks what the

30:22 you're going to theme parks what the heck are you doing what who cares about

30:24 heck are you doing what who cares about

30:24 heck are you doing what who cares about that road and who cares about that old

30:26 that road and who cares about that old

30:26 that road and who cares about that old historical thing and it's been

30:29 historical thing and it's been

30:29 historical thing and it's been the most gratifying

30:31 the most gratifying

30:31 the most gratifying wonderful thing in my life I remember

30:33 wonderful thing in my life I remember

30:33 wonderful thing in my life I remember at the end of all that sickness at the

30:35 at the end of all that sickness at the

30:35 at the end of all that sickness at the end of everything trust when I got my

30:36 end of everything trust when I got my

30:36 end of everything trust when I got my diagnosis and just when I had kind of

30:38 diagnosis and just when I had kind of

30:38 diagnosis and just when I had kind of broke up my band and was ready to move

30:39 broke up my band and was ready to move

30:39 broke up my band and was ready to move on to something new something else

30:41 on to something new something else

30:41 on to something new something else something different and I was finally

30:43 something different and I was finally

30:43 something different and I was finally like I just was kind of trying to start

30:45 like I just was kind of trying to start

30:45 like I just was kind of trying to start the Quest for the pre-quest for

30:46 the Quest for the pre-quest for

30:46 the Quest for the pre-quest for positivity and all that is when I got

30:49 positivity and all that is when I got

30:49 positivity and all that is when I got divorced and just got thrown into the

30:51 divorced and just got thrown into the

30:51 divorced and just got thrown into the most horrible time no chaos no more no

30:54 most horrible time no chaos no more no

30:54 most horrible time no chaos no more no house no more that's bad grammar no more

30:56 house no more that's bad grammar no more

30:56 house no more that's bad grammar no more house no more uh kid in the house to

30:59 house no more uh kid in the house to

30:59 house no more uh kid in the house to walk away from like what little

31:00 walk away from like what little

31:00 walk away from like what little stability in your life that you have and

31:02 stability in your life that you have and

31:02 stability in your life that you have and have and know that you have to walk out

31:04 have and know that you have to walk out

31:04 have and know that you have to walk out completely start your whole life over

31:06 completely start your whole life over

31:06 completely start your whole life over again and the one thing that I had done

31:08 again and the one thing that I had done

31:08 again and the one thing that I had done is I had started working on like these

31:10 is I had started working on like these

31:10 is I had started working on like these videos and I had started to

31:14 videos and I had started to

31:14 videos and I had started to um film them enough that there was a few

31:16 um film them enough that there was a few

31:16 um film them enough that there was a few people watching and when I say a few I

31:17 people watching and when I say a few I

31:17 people watching and when I say a few I mean a few 50 people I don't know

31:20 mean a few 50 people I don't know

31:20 mean a few 50 people I don't know and I just remember having the

31:21 and I just remember having the

31:21 and I just remember having the conversation with myself like instead of

31:23 conversation with myself like instead of

31:23 conversation with myself like instead of getting bitter instead of getting like

31:24 getting bitter instead of getting like

31:24 getting bitter instead of getting like in the depths of Despair about this

31:26 in the depths of Despair about this

31:26 in the depths of Despair about this which I was instead of focusing on that

31:29 which I was instead of focusing on that

31:29 which I was instead of focusing on that maybe I should focus my energy on these

31:31 maybe I should focus my energy on these

31:31 maybe I should focus my energy on these silly videos

31:32 silly videos

31:32 silly videos because one of the few things that got

31:34 because one of the few things that got

31:34 because one of the few things that got to me and made me feel better was kind

31:35 to me and made me feel better was kind

31:35 to me and made me feel better was kind of a distraction watching silly videos

31:37 of a distraction watching silly videos

31:37 of a distraction watching silly videos laughing getting outside of real life

31:39 laughing getting outside of real life

31:39 laughing getting outside of real life and finding something you know kind of

31:41 and finding something you know kind of

31:41 and finding something you know kind of nice to escape to your history or those

31:43 nice to escape to your history or those

31:43 nice to escape to your history or those letters for me and uh and I thought if I

31:46 letters for me and uh and I thought if I

31:46 letters for me and uh and I thought if I could make 10 people smile 50 people

31:49 could make 10 people smile 50 people

31:49 could make 10 people smile 50 people smile per day

31:51 smile per day

31:51 smile per day like that's so much better than me

31:53 like that's so much better than me

31:53 like that's so much better than me wallowing in my sadness and all the

31:56 wallowing in my sadness and all the

31:56 wallowing in my sadness and all the stuff that was going on all the stress

31:58 stuff that was going on all the stress

31:58 stuff that was going on all the stress and somehow somehow ten years later I

32:01 and somehow somehow ten years later I

32:01 and somehow somehow ten years later I find myself

32:03 find myself

32:03 find myself a decade later I'm that really that's

32:05 a decade later I'm that really that's

32:05 a decade later I'm that really that's crazy my mind is blown with that ten

32:07 crazy my mind is blown with that ten

32:07 crazy my mind is blown with that ten years later I find myself in this

32:09 years later I find myself in this

32:09 years later I find myself in this crazy situation where

32:12 crazy situation where

32:12 crazy situation where it also meant a lot to so many other

32:15 it also meant a lot to so many other

32:15 it also meant a lot to so many other people

32:16 people and like all this time it meant a lot to

32:18 and like all this time it meant a lot to

32:18 and like all this time it meant a lot to me when people would watch and do all

32:19 me when people would watch and do all

32:19 me when people would watch and do all this stuff but then to see how much it

32:20 this stuff but then to see how much it

32:20 this stuff but then to see how much it means to other people and have people

32:21 means to other people and have people

32:21 means to other people and have people Express that back to you

32:29 and that's why I had to make this uh

32:29 and that's why I had to make this uh little

32:30 little

32:30 little dialogue here

32:33 dialogue here

32:33 dialogue here because I needed to say the most

32:34 because I needed to say the most

32:34 because I needed to say the most important thing that I've ever said and

32:36 important thing that I've ever said and

32:36 important thing that I've ever said and I'm ever going to say to all of you

32:43 uh especially considering there's lots

32:43 uh especially considering there's lots been going on in my life that nobody

32:44 been going on in my life that nobody

32:44 been going on in my life that nobody knows about

32:45 knows about

32:45 knows about and just how things and just different

32:47 and just how things and just different

32:47 and just how things and just different stuff like that the past couple years

32:49 stuff like that the past couple years

32:49 stuff like that the past couple years especially recently and

32:52 especially recently and

32:52 especially recently and the most most important thing that I

32:54 the most most important thing that I

32:54 the most most important thing that I have to tell you that I will ever have

32:56 have to tell you that I will ever have

32:56 have to tell you that I will ever have to say to any of you and I mean this

32:58 to say to any of you and I mean this

32:58 to say to any of you and I mean this from the bottom of my heart

33:01 from the bottom of my heart

33:01 from the bottom of my heart is how grateful that I am and just thank

33:05 is how grateful that I am and just thank

33:05 is how grateful that I am and just thank you that is the that's it

33:08 you that is the that's it

33:08 you that is the that's it in a nutshell this whole all this

33:10 in a nutshell this whole all this

33:10 in a nutshell this whole all this blabbering

33:12 blabbering

33:12 blabbering um I can't even look here in the eye I'm

33:14 um I can't even look here in the eye I'm

33:14 um I can't even look here in the eye I'm gonna get too emotional I just thank you

33:17 gonna get too emotional I just thank you

33:17 gonna get too emotional I just thank you um and 10 years is not the end 10 years

33:20 um and 10 years is not the end 10 years

33:20 um and 10 years is not the end 10 years is just the beginning I'm just getting

33:22 is just the beginning I'm just getting

33:22 is just the beginning I'm just getting started there's so many other adventures

33:24 started there's so many other adventures

33:24 started there's so many other adventures and ideas like I said I'm just starting

33:26 and ideas like I said I'm just starting

33:26 and ideas like I said I'm just starting to work on them

33:28 to work on them

33:28 to work on them 10-year anniversary video and finding

33:30 10-year anniversary video and finding

33:30 10-year anniversary video and finding clips and all this kind of stuff so

33:31 clips and all this kind of stuff so

33:31 clips and all this kind of stuff so hopefully we'll do some kind of clip

33:33 hopefully we'll do some kind of clip

33:33 hopefully we'll do some kind of clip show or special I haven't really thought

33:34 show or special I haven't really thought

33:34 show or special I haven't really thought about it this month is the 10-year

33:35 about it this month is the 10-year

33:35 about it this month is the 10-year anniversary month it's all wet and Soggy

33:37 anniversary month it's all wet and Soggy

33:37 anniversary month it's all wet and Soggy outside all my travel plans are kind of

33:38 outside all my travel plans are kind of

33:38 outside all my travel plans are kind of high and bucked at the moment but

33:41 high and bucked at the moment but

33:41 high and bucked at the moment but um there's a bunch of stuff I want to

33:41 um there's a bunch of stuff I want to

33:42 um there's a bunch of stuff I want to film in Southern California before we

33:43 film in Southern California before we

33:43 film in Southern California before we start getting all the road trips and

33:44 start getting all the road trips and

33:44 start getting all the road trips and getting really crazy in May and summer

33:45 getting really crazy in May and summer

33:45 getting really crazy in May and summer time we're gonna have all this crazy

33:47 time we're gonna have all this crazy

33:47 time we're gonna have all this crazy stuff going on assuming that you know

33:49 stuff going on assuming that you know

33:49 stuff going on assuming that you know everything is going fine and uh we have

33:51 everything is going fine and uh we have

33:51 everything is going fine and uh we have plans to travel in the fall and there's

33:53 plans to travel in the fall and there's

33:53 plans to travel in the fall and there's all the haunt season again and all this

33:55 all the haunt season again and all this

33:55 all the haunt season again and all this crazy stuff it's summer school there's

33:56 crazy stuff it's summer school there's

33:56 crazy stuff it's summer school there's so much stuff

33:59 so much stuff

33:59 so much stuff but here in this little pause before you

34:01 but here in this little pause before you

34:01 but here in this little pause before you know while people do their taxes ah and

34:04 know while people do their taxes ah and

34:04 know while people do their taxes ah and before um

34:05 before um

34:05 before um getting ready for the I almost said the

34:08 getting ready for the I almost said the

34:08 getting ready for the I almost said the 100th anniversary the Disney 100 thing

34:09 100th anniversary the Disney 100 thing

34:09 100th anniversary the Disney 100 thing is throwing me off at the 10th

34:11 is throwing me off at the 10th

34:11 is throwing me off at the 10th anniversary random land thing and

34:12 anniversary random land thing and

34:12 anniversary random land thing and working on that video is going to happen

34:14 working on that video is going to happen

34:14 working on that video is going to happen and I can't remember what I was gonna

34:15 and I can't remember what I was gonna

34:15 and I can't remember what I was gonna say about that but anyway I'm working on

34:18 say about that but anyway I'm working on

34:18 say about that but anyway I'm working on that video

34:19 that video

34:19 that video and I've just been looking through 10

34:21 and I've just been looking through 10

34:21 and I've just been looking through 10 years of just all the craziness and

34:23 years of just all the craziness and

34:23 years of just all the craziness and thinking like man we haven't even I

34:24 thinking like man we haven't even I

34:24 thinking like man we haven't even I thought you know we haven't even begun

34:26 thought you know we haven't even begun

34:26 thought you know we haven't even begun to do all the stuff that I really wanted

34:28 to do all the stuff that I really wanted

34:28 to do all the stuff that I really wanted to do yet so it's like there's so much

34:31 to do yet so it's like there's so much

34:31 to do yet so it's like there's so much coming there's so much coming and I told

34:34 coming there's so much coming and I told

34:34 coming there's so much coming and I told my kid I was like you know I've been

34:35 my kid I was like you know I've been

34:35 my kid I was like you know I've been waiting for like eight years to go and

34:38 waiting for like eight years to go and

34:38 waiting for like eight years to go and do like the Lincoln Highway and do all

34:40 do like the Lincoln Highway and do all

34:40 do like the Lincoln Highway and do all these different there's so many

34:41 these different there's so many

34:41 these different there's so many different products I don't even want to

34:42 different products I don't even want to

34:42 different products I don't even want to name them because other people always

34:43 name them because other people always

34:43 name them because other people always hear me say them and then they run off

34:45 hear me say them and then they run off

34:45 hear me say them and then they run off and do them and then I'm like no

34:47 and do them and then I'm like no

34:47 and do them and then I'm like no no so but there's so many I was like oh

34:49 no so but there's so many I was like oh

34:49 no so but there's so many I was like oh you know I've been waiting eight years

34:51 you know I've been waiting eight years

34:51 you know I've been waiting eight years come on hurry up and turn 18 so you can

34:53 come on hurry up and turn 18 so you can

34:53 come on hurry up and turn 18 so you can come with me we could spend months out

34:54 come with me we could spend months out

34:54 come with me we could spend months out there and all you know all these

34:55 there and all you know all these

34:55 there and all you know all these different projects and things uh Gold

34:58 different projects and things uh Gold

34:58 different projects and things uh Gold Rush stuff and just so many different

35:00 Rush stuff and just so many different

35:00 Rush stuff and just so many different things traveling overseas more to other

35:03 things traveling overseas more to other

35:03 things traveling overseas more to other certain theme parks and places that just

35:05 certain theme parks and places that just

35:05 certain theme parks and places that just there's lots of stuff there's so many

35:07 there's lots of stuff there's so many

35:07 there's lots of stuff there's so many different projects So Many Adventures so

35:08 different projects So Many Adventures so

35:08 different projects So Many Adventures so many historical locations so many road

35:11 many historical locations so many road

35:11 many historical locations so many road trips to do and there's so much in my

35:13 trips to do and there's so much in my

35:13 trips to do and there's so much in my brain all the time that I would love to

35:15 brain all the time that I would love to

35:15 brain all the time that I would love to get to and we're going to do

35:18 get to and we're going to do

35:18 get to and we're going to do but and and so I'm always looking ahead

35:20 but and and so I'm always looking ahead

35:20 but and and so I'm always looking ahead I'm always looking ahead at projects I'm

35:22 I'm always looking ahead at projects I'm

35:22 I'm always looking ahead at projects I'm always looking ahead and forward at this

35:23 always looking ahead and forward at this

35:23 always looking ahead and forward at this stuff and never looking backwards I

35:26 stuff and never looking backwards I

35:26 stuff and never looking backwards I think that's why like it really caught

35:27 think that's why like it really caught

35:27 think that's why like it really caught me off guard to stop and hitting the

35:29 me off guard to stop and hitting the

35:29 me off guard to stop and hitting the 10th year of randomland

35:31 10th year of randomland

35:31 10th year of randomland and obviously 40 is

35:33 and obviously 40 is

35:33 and obviously 40 is my friend Bruce

35:35 my friend Bruce

35:35 my friend Bruce said he left a comment I think like on

35:38 said he left a comment I think like on

35:38 said he left a comment I think like on the patreon thing or something and he

35:40 the patreon thing or something and he

35:40 the patreon thing or something and he was like hey man don't worry 40 is just

35:42 was like hey man don't worry 40 is just

35:42 was like hey man don't worry 40 is just a number

35:43 a number

35:43 a number it's a big number it's just a number I

35:48 it's a big number it's just a number I

35:48 it's a big number it's just a number I kind of like it I kind of like the idea

35:49 kind of like it I kind of like the idea

35:49 kind of like it I kind of like the idea of being old and before anybody says

35:51 of being old and before anybody says

35:51 of being old and before anybody says like oh you're not old you're just a

35:53 like oh you're not old you're just a

35:53 like oh you're not old you're just a baby you're only 40. that's like saying

35:54 baby you're only 40. that's like saying

35:54 baby you're only 40. that's like saying ah you only lost two toes I lost a whole

35:57 ah you only lost two toes I lost a whole

35:57 ah you only lost two toes I lost a whole foot yeah 40 is pretty old and I like it

36:00 foot yeah 40 is pretty old and I like it

36:00 foot yeah 40 is pretty old and I like it that way it feels good and it's not the

36:02 that way it feels good and it's not the

36:02 that way it feels good and it's not the years

36:03 years

36:03 years it's the mileage anyway

36:06 it's the mileage anyway

36:06 it's the mileage anyway um I don't know what I was talking about

36:08 um I don't know what I was talking about

36:08 um I don't know what I was talking about but anyway it's a big year lots of stuff

36:10 but anyway it's a big year lots of stuff

36:10 but anyway it's a big year lots of stuff like that lots of big reasons to look

36:12 like that lots of big reasons to look

36:12 like that lots of big reasons to look backwards and uh all those lovely

36:16 backwards and uh all those lovely

36:16 backwards and uh all those lovely comments the cards and people

36:18 comments the cards and people

36:18 comments the cards and people write such nice stuff and I'm like

36:20 write such nice stuff and I'm like

36:20 write such nice stuff and I'm like telling me all this stuff you know

36:23 telling me all this stuff you know

36:23 telling me all this stuff you know stuff I can never share with everybody

36:24 stuff I can never share with everybody

36:24 stuff I can never share with everybody else but just something just gets me in

36:27 else but just something just gets me in

36:27 else but just something just gets me in the gets me right in the heart and I got

36:29 the gets me right in the heart and I got

36:29 the gets me right in the heart and I got a heart condition so I can't take a lot

36:31 a heart condition so I can't take a lot

36:31 a heart condition so I can't take a lot of stress you know I try to avoid

36:33 of stress you know I try to avoid

36:33 of stress you know I try to avoid stressful situations or overly emotional

36:35 stressful situations or overly emotional

36:35 stressful situations or overly emotional situations even like aha but I think

36:37 situations even like aha but I think

36:37 situations even like aha but I think this one got me in the heart in a good

36:39 this one got me in the heart in a good

36:39 this one got me in the heart in a good way and for all the stress that's been

36:41 way and for all the stress that's been

36:41 way and for all the stress that's been going on lately

36:43 going on lately

36:43 going on lately it's uh it's been like it's been uh it's

36:46 it's uh it's been like it's been uh it's

36:46 it's uh it's been like it's been uh it's been interesting and um

36:48 been interesting and um

36:48 been interesting and um I guess I'm just I've gone on too long

36:51 I guess I'm just I've gone on too long

36:51 I guess I'm just I've gone on too long I've already done my duty I should have

36:53 I've already done my duty I should have

36:53 I've already done my duty I should have gone home and slept well uh but I did

36:55 gone home and slept well uh but I did

36:55 gone home and slept well uh but I did want to show you one other present Mark

36:57 want to show you one other present Mark

36:57 want to show you one other present Mark Twain

36:58 Twain

36:58 Twain related over here my friend Ernie

37:01 related over here my friend Ernie

37:01 related over here my friend Ernie got me this found this for me this old

37:04 got me this found this for me this old

37:04 got me this found this for me this old vintage

37:05 vintage

37:05 vintage FNB doll of Mark Twain I own a doll now

37:09 FNB doll of Mark Twain I own a doll now

37:09 FNB doll of Mark Twain I own a doll now I'm a doll guy now I guess this is

37:13 I'm a doll guy now I guess this is

37:13 I'm a doll guy now I guess this is awesome I can't I don't know where to

37:14 awesome I can't I don't know where to

37:14 awesome I can't I don't know where to put this I gotta remove them from this

37:16 put this I gotta remove them from this

37:16 put this I gotta remove them from this box he's been waiting 50 years to get

37:18 box he's been waiting 50 years to get

37:18 box he's been waiting 50 years to get out of this box and be enjoyed but uh

37:22 out of this box and be enjoyed but uh

37:22 out of this box and be enjoyed but uh just overwhelming just lots of stuff oh

37:24 just overwhelming just lots of stuff oh

37:24 just overwhelming just lots of stuff oh and before I go there was one other

37:27 and before I go there was one other

37:27 and before I go there was one other present that I got which which is very

37:29 present that I got which which is very

37:29 present that I got which which is very very random a box of ninjas every 80s

37:35 very random a box of ninjas every 80s

37:35 very random a box of ninjas every 80s kids dream a box of generic made for

37:39 kids dream a box of generic made for

37:39 kids dream a box of generic made for Toys R Us army man style ninjas

37:43 Toys R Us army man style ninjas

37:43 Toys R Us army man style ninjas and I was like this is so silly and

37:45 and I was like this is so silly and

37:45 and I was like this is so silly and random but I kind of can't wait to open

37:47 random but I kind of can't wait to open

37:47 random but I kind of can't wait to open this and put out all the little little

37:49 this and put out all the little little

37:49 this and put out all the little little ninjas and go for whatever happened to

37:50 ninjas and go for whatever happened to

37:50 ninjas and go for whatever happened to ninja movies you know they make any good

37:52 ninja movies you know they make any good

37:52 ninja movies you know they make any good ninja movies lately so I haven't heard

37:54 ninja movies lately so I haven't heard

37:54 ninja movies lately so I haven't heard of them anyway guys I'll be around on

37:56 of them anyway guys I'll be around on

37:56 of them anyway guys I'll be around on the morning announcements for patreon

37:58 the morning announcements for patreon

37:58 the morning announcements for patreon I'll be around the podcast for patreon

37:59 I'll be around the podcast for patreon

37:59 I'll be around the podcast for patreon I'll be around in the sometimes Vlog on

38:02 I'll be around in the sometimes Vlog on

38:02 I'll be around in the sometimes Vlog on the other channel that's back that's

38:03 the other channel that's back that's

38:03 the other channel that's back that's going down again uh and a lot more

38:07 going down again uh and a lot more

38:07 going down again uh and a lot more randomly incoming very soon I gotta get

38:09 randomly incoming very soon I gotta get

38:09 randomly incoming very soon I gotta get through the edit on the 10th anniversary

38:10 through the edit on the 10th anniversary

38:10 through the edit on the 10th anniversary one that's gonna take me a while on and

38:12 one that's gonna take me a while on and

38:12 one that's gonna take me a while on and off so you'll see the episodes kind of

38:14 off so you'll see the episodes kind of

38:14 off so you'll see the episodes kind of spaced out because in between I'll be

38:16 spaced out because in between I'll be

38:16 spaced out because in between I'll be working on this big project

38:17 working on this big project

38:17 working on this big project but other than that we're back baby I

38:19 but other than that we're back baby I

38:19 but other than that we're back baby I cannot wait for year 10 season 10 year

38:23 cannot wait for year 10 season 10 year

38:23 cannot wait for year 10 season 10 year 10. my gosh has it been that long

38:27 10. my gosh has it been that long

38:27 10. my gosh has it been that long see you in about 30 years morning we've

38:31 see you in about 30 years morning we've

38:31 see you in about 30 years morning we've done your duty we've done your duty what

38:34 done your duty we've done your duty what

38:34 done your duty we've done your duty what am I saying we've give down your teeth

38:35 am I saying we've give down your teeth

38:35 am I saying we've give down your teeth anyway guys

38:37 anyway guys

38:37 anyway guys my brain is now tired I'm exhausted I'm

38:39 my brain is now tired I'm exhausted I'm

38:39 my brain is now tired I'm exhausted I'm emotionally over stimulated and uh I

38:42 emotionally over stimulated and uh I

38:42 emotionally over stimulated and uh I love you all in short thank you and

38:46 love you all in short thank you and

38:46 love you all in short thank you and we'll see you real soon you've done your

38:48 we'll see you real soon you've done your

38:48 we'll see you real soon you've done your duty you can go home and ninja well

38:54 duty you can go home and ninja well

38:54 duty you can go home and ninja well [Music]

39:19 [Music]

39:19 [Music] thank you

39:29 [Music] ah look at all those ninja they're

39:32 ah look at all those ninja they're

39:32 ah look at all those ninja they're finally all set up peacefully fighting

39:35 finally all set up peacefully fighting

39:35 finally all set up peacefully fighting but wait what's this

39:38 but wait what's this

39:38 but wait what's this it's 80s Godzilla

39:41 it's 80s Godzilla

39:41 it's 80s Godzilla [Applause]

39:43 [Applause]

39:43 [Applause] a generic Godzilla

40:06 oh here let me help you oh oh I'm better

40:06 oh here let me help you oh oh I'm better now oh sorry about your village oh

I Never thought this would Happen.... and my Most Important Message

Transcript